Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: December Randoms
I am excited to hear how you guys want to grow your families or if you feel complete.
I have five right now and we will try for one more, but timing is something I am really struggling with right now. My four youngest are all around 18-19 months apart, but this time I want more of a gap. My two year old commands a lot more attention than the others, which I don't mind, but it sometimes overwhelms me when Samantha needs me too. I would like for him to be a bit older before I go through morning sickness and the newborn stage again. However, I am already 36 and don't feel like waiting too long. I know I should avoid being newly pregnant during the summer with all of them home and needing my full attention, so August/September seems to be the best time to TTC next. I haven't started my cycle again yet and it usually takes a few months to regulate, so mother nature might be making more of a decision than my heart. We'll see. I just know I don't feel like we are complete yet.
My husband wants two more, but I feel like next time will probably be my last pregnancy. I try to be respectful of his wishes regarding our family, as I would want the same consideration if it was me wanting more, but I am not sure my body could handle four to five more years of being pregnant and even more nursing. We'll see.
I don't know how weird this will sound but we've always said, "2. 3 on accident"
We want them around 2 years apart I suppose.
As for age gap? Who knows, but I'd prefer it be about 2-3 years.
I want to say too - I’m not really a super private person so sorry if I overshare - it helps me process things to get out what I’m thinking - so thank you all for listening. It’s great here because I don’t feel judgement or pressure so wanted to let you all know I appreciate you. 💜💜
Also - I’m so stinking excited for Maeve to open her gifts because I really think for her unwrapping the paper will be the best thing ever.
This baby will come 14 months after Nora - and after that, I just want to give my body a break for a while! It will have been 3 solid years of my body being in turmoil (TTC, losses, pregnancy, post partum, ACL surgery, pregnant again, postpartum again soon): I just want to have some time to eat salad and jog and drink the occasional glass of wine with my husband and not have to think about my body 24/7 (and to not feel like my vagina wants to fall out of my body every time I even THINK about having sex, but that's a whole 'nother story!). We've talked about waiting at least 1.5, maybe 2 years after this one before going for the next. TTC is not a fun process for me (so in a lot of ways, getting pregnant unexpectedly with this LO was a super big blessing!) and it took us a while for N, so we'll consider that as we time it all. And as nice as four would be, I know how little all of this is truly in our control, so we will be happy with the family we can build. I've always been open to adoption - my husband is not currently, but it's an additional thought for our future.
@shoretobe I'm with you in feeling like an oversharer, but I so appreciate having this space! Most of my friends are happily unmarried and childless and look at us like we have five heads when we talk about wanting a big family - it's nice to have a place to talk about this all freely.
AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON CHRISTMAS! Every morning when I bring Nora downstairs, we check under the tree to see if Santa came and she points around the living room so we can go check out each Christmas decoration one by one. I'm SO excited to see her reaction on Christmas morning. My husband keeps trying to gently talk me down - he thinks she won't care and I'll be heartbroken.
For us, it boils down mostly to finances and health (with the pree with DD1). My upbringing was not terrible but difficult (strictly below the poverty line most of my childhood). We want to be able to provide comfortably for our children (which actually is still kind of a stretch due to high childcare and living costs). Realistically speaking, if I were to have another, especially before DD1 is in full time school, I’d be working to pay for childcare and DH doesn’t make enough to cover all our expenses only on his salary. Yeah, we probably live a bit beyond our means (both have newer cars, the girls are spoiled, go out with decent regularity,etc) but IMHO, it’s better than living with the bare minimum. I’ve been at the bare minimum (and sometimes less than)- I don’t want my kids to ever experience that unless it’s a situation of their own making when they’re an adult.
I love my girls and I wouldn’t trade them for the world but unless a miracle happens and the TL fails, we’ll forever be a family of four.
This is why I ask for experiences and no one listens. We don’t need stufff for the sake of stuff.
Glad to hear you're feeling better @megpeg.
Vinny did get over her stomach flu just in time for travel.
Happy holidays to everyone! and yes, OMG the amount of stuff this child has before she's even 1yo is ridiculous.
We saw my bf a few days ago and she has a 5 yo and a 6 yo, and she said "Don't wait. watching them play together is great. they're best friends." And both those kids were sooo adorable, I got the itch back LOL.
My praise of the whole thing is that DH cleans up puke. He doesn’t bat an eye- gets up, grabs the cleaning stuff and just does it. He’s bummed too- it’s his friends 30th and they haven’t gotten to see each other much lately.
Update- my mom said she would come here and watch them- she already had it so she said she doesn’t care.
@maelily15 I totally get what you're saying. Planning on a big family, there are a lot of things that my husband and I know we and our kids are going to have to do without, but there's a big difference between willingly making the choice to do that and being forced into that situation, especially since we both came from relatively stable homes financially and didn't have the bare minimum experiences you mentioned. I respect where you're coming from.
@mccurleya In my recent experience, after stopping birth control, it takes roughly 4 minutes before you can conceive again
@megpeg I'm sorry to hear your daughter is sick, but yay to a date night salvaged! Mom FTW!
@megpeg that’s great you had a day for to get things done. so happy for you. 🤗
@megpeg sometimes all you need are a few hours to yourself to recharge. So glad it was fun.
@megpeg After Vinny's stomach flu, I feel for you! I have heard it's going around. poor kiddos
We get to go out NYE. We are still at my mom's house, baby will stay home with grandparents and we will go out for dinner and then meet up with a few others for drinks. I might actually put in ear rings!
We returned the monitor today and it could take up to 2 weeks for results. We call the cardiologist tomorrow to make an appointment. They don't work over the weekend. Thinks are okay for now. All we know is his heart isn't sending the electrical signals correctly and it's causing an arrhythmia but we don't know why. We're wondering if maybe when he went through the police academy and got tased if that set it off or something.
We're really angry with urgent care though. The doctor there told us he had a blockage in his heart and made him go to the hospital by ambulance. She was not keeping her composure and freaked us out. We both thought he was going to die or be rushed into surgery the way she was acting. We will never go back there.
We're also worried he's going to get kicked out of the military if it's serious. You can't be in with heart problems and we can't afford insurance with the school system. You really can't beat military insurance. I don't know. I'm trying to give it all to God and not worry.
That urgent care lady was way out of line! Probably new or just not trained enough to handle a (hopefully only potentially) serious situation.
@maelily15 She's the owners daughter 😒 the paramedics and the people at the ER said she needs a new profession.