@angelob88, I work barely part time hours and I'm still excited for maternity leave, haha. Enjoy your coffee and chill morning tomorrow!
@thatbaintforbetty, I think I hit whatever mode before I even got into work yesterday. It was my last day for a two week stretch unless I want to go in for extra hours. I don't think I've had this much consecutive time off in years. As for your friend, is she a book-lover, foodie, drinker...? I always gravitate towards useful-but-not-too-expensive gifts like a book or gift card, a special basket of favorite treats, or maybe a nice wine glass/cocktail shaker with some accessories for drinks.
@midway_mouse, I'm right there with you. No idea how I'm going to survive the first three months with a newborn and a 5yo on (basically) my own due to DH's job. I second what @professormama said though and I'll add to just take it one day at a time or one hour at a time and remember to breath.
@frenchfrymama, yay! Hope you guys get tons of quality time together over the holidays!
@ysotte, don't feel bad at all! Go home and take care of yourself. Being sick whilst pregnant should be illegal, it's a double whammy of awfulness .
@kangstadt That's the problem, she doesn't drink coffee or wine or anything like that. Not big into books. Her bday was the 11th and i got this cool cup that is Beauty and the Beast themed (she loves Disney) and would be good for her to take to work and a gift card to Bath and Body Works. But i'm stumped for Christmas. I was hoping we would get together earlier in the month and i could giver her the bday present and have more time to figure out a Christmas present but she texted me this week because we both have been too busy and said she has a gift for Christmas for me. I know she likes puzzles and loves the Thomas Kinkade Disney ones but i don't know which she already has. I was thinking of something like this and maybe one other thing. I am running out of time though.
@thatbaintforbetty they have similar mats like that at Barnes and Noble and they carry Disney puzzles there. You can get a mat and then a B&N gift card for her to pick out something. Hopefully, you have one local.
I think I’m nesting? I really want to start looking through all the old baby stuff I saved and start sorting out what’s good vs junk, figuring out what we need, etc. Unfortunately I either need to buy a new dresser for my son’s room, or else my husband needs to build some built-ins / shelves in the closet, because right now there’s nowhere to put the baby stuff. It’s starting to really gripe me because my husband doesn’t feel a rush on these things (and logically it’s not a rush). But it’s kind of killing me.
@professormama, I'm in the same boat. I can't organize or sort things until we get the nursery finished, and DH has no get-up-and-go drive to do so yet. Logically I know this LO will be sleeping in the pnp in our bedroom for the first few months, but still. I need a place for clothes and diapers!
I’m tired and DD has too much energy - she wants to go outside in the dark and rain. And DH is taking care of FIL, who has hid/lost/locked keys away from MIL because of his dementia, and has taken care of DD most of the day, so I can’t really beg for relief. Ugh.
also I’m making dinner and I’m not even hungry or sure when DH will be back. ugh.
@lyse01, isn't it amazing how children get more energy the later at night it is? DS turns into a squirrel at night.
Also, I hate cooking when I'm not even hungry myself, haha. It's probably why DS is now refusing to eat veggies and wants nothing but peanut butter sandwiches because the first 12 weeks I couldn't stand cooking anything....
@professormama I’m right there with you minus having things to go through. DH is constantly saying that we should wait because we have 2 family showers coming up, but I want to do everything now.
Also I cannot contain my excitement because tonight DH and I were on the couch, watching Netflix and the baby kept kicking and I put DH’s hand on my belly (which I do almost every night and then get annoyed when he can’t feel anything). After a couple minutes of him just resting his hand there, I felt this really big kick and said “did you feel that?” and I looked over and DH looks so shocked and said yes! He finally felt our baby boy kick and I’m an emotional mess about it (as was he). It was perfect timing because we’re heading to see family for Christmas for 3 days tomorrow and I was worried that someone else would feel it before DH. But he felt him!!
Oh man. My app was spazzing out but I finally got on after a few days of lockout.
I read every very post and must add that I love how chill and relational everyone is here and that there aren’t too many of us.
I will I’ll migrate to Facebook happily whenever we are closer because with the app I can’t do as much on here and it gets frustrating.
We are on vacation and I flew at 21weeks and 22 weeks and will fly again next week and each time it is harder to maneuver the plane/bathroom/pick up stuff dd drops on the ground while seated.
we are in MN and there is no snow here. Sad.
Maternity leave when unpaid is tricky. We just take the loss. Actually I never really went back to work after having my dd 3 yrs ago. I work very part time managing a small paint projects aspect of the maintenance department at the conference center/camp that we live and work at. Childcare here would be most of my salary so we just do without. Tight but I love staying home anyway. I’ll probaby take 8-10 weeks of leave and then return to planning projects from home. Pretty chill.
Dd turned 3 yesterday. It’s really weird. She acts more like a four yr old most ways so it’s really just a number but still...
@thatbaintforbetty, nope, DS gets super squirrelly. Of course, DH is a night owl also and doesn't help by winding him up.
A part of me hates having days off together with DH because I always have expectations of quality family time or getting shit done around the house together, and usually we end up on our individual phones zoning out or running around visiting family or running errands. Sigh... adulthood.
Anyone already super annoyed by interactions with family members?
I really love my family, but my patience for their obnoxious quirks is extra low this year.
My older sister, in particular, is difficult. Just one baby-related example: We don't want to know the sex of this baby, but even more so we didn't want anyone else to know (so even if we found out accidentally, we'd keep it a secret).
Of course, one of the first things that my sister says to me and my partner when we meet up: "So I showed your scans to my MIL, who is a super famous doctor specializing in fetal medicine, and she says it's a _____."
Great, thanks so much for that, sis. I really don't think that anything was evident on scans we shared, so I'm just trying to convince myself that this doesn't mean anything definitive.
It's even more ironic because my sister is personally very concerned with gender issues, and one would think that she might be able to understand our desire to not have a lot of preconceived notions built around the anatomical sex of an unborn child by just not wanting it known... Just one of the things she's done that I feel like I'm barely containing my frustration with her about.
@mesweettea omg yesss there is family driving me up the damn wall. Your sister sounds like a down right pain. I'd want to go off on her too if it were me.
Right now I've got an aunt who refuses to get help for her mental state. She has always really struggled with the idea of not being able to have more kids but she did have one. Since my cousin didn't have siblings, we were always really close. I was even close with my aunt when I was young. Well the past couple of years that inner struggle of hers has really blown out of control because her one kid came out as a trans man and you would think it's the end of the world for her. She tuned into the families alcoholism to deal with her depression. I had to help her son transition because she couldn't pull herself together and be there for him. The new thing she is absolutely devastated about now is she won't get to have grandchildren of her own. Which is a legit thing to mourn and grieve but this has been going on for quite some time now. It's to the point that I'm losing empathy for the situation. She gets drunk and says all sorts of things like she thought my gender reveal party was complete bullshit. Or that we are gonna be horrible parents. The other day she saw my bump and got her self absolutely plastered, then proceeded to have a melt down and turned on all the burners in her closed up house. I told the family to call 911 and get her help but my mom and uncle chose to talk her down and keep an eye on her. She's absolutely losing it. My boyfriend and I have been discussing how best to exit her out of our lives until she seeks some help because it's all getting to be too much for us. Unfortunately, I rely on her to take care of my grandmother (yes, her Mom) so I can go to my doctor's appointments because she can work from home. She maintains sobriety till 5 o clock hits.
Christmas is going to be interesting to say the least this year.
I’m sorry to hear about everyone’s family stresses this year. Christmas/holiday season seems to bring out either the best or worst in people. In other news, I have taken over my brother’s gaming chair. It’s the only thing that I can comfortably sit in due to back pain. I’m not even this comfortable in my own bed! I’m pretty sure I’m going to end up buying my own!
Omg. My parents just came by to drop off the (almost 17lb!!!) prime rib they bought and my mom told me there is a good chance my dad is going to get stuck tomorrow.
He has to work late tonight/early tomorrow morning and drive up into snow. Apparently they’re calling for 3 or so feet. And I’m the only one with working 4 wheel drive on their vehicle so I would have to go or give my mom my car to go get him.
Why the eff are the holidays so freaking stressful?
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
@professormama I’m sorry you’re there too. It sucks! Mine is really awful and it came out of nowhere. I haven’t been able to function without Tylenol and even that barely helps. I went to the movies last night and I was seriously rolling around in the reclining chair from discomfort. Those chairs were a godsend before but now they’re just as uncomfortable as everything else!
@lilpotatomama it sounds like you’re worse off than I am. I’m so sorry! But if it helps, I think the second trimester can be the worst for back pain. Hopefully yours will get better! I remember with my first, early during my third trimester, I had a really miserable back ache for over a week. I splurged and got a prenatal massage and I think it was the best hour of my entire pregnancy. If you can swing getting one, I highly recommend it!! I’ve been sitting on a massage gift certificate and I think I’ll use it in late January... seriously, I’ve been hoarding it like gold.
@professormama honestly, I think a lot of it is my height. I’m super off balance from this baby already and it’s messing me up. I got a pretty intense belly support band and hoping that helps. It’s funny you mention massages, because DH gave me a massage gift certificate two years ago that I’ve never felt like I reeeally needed to use. I didn’t want to “waste” it. Now I’m glad I never used it. I just don’t know if I should wait a few more weeks or just take advantage of it now!
@lilpotatomama 100% with you on the back pain! And I feel like height can definitely play a factor, I'm sitting at a nice and low 5'1 over here and the lower back pain is probably my biggest gripe. That chair looks super comfortable though. I second the prenatal massage, I say just take advantage now and give yourself some relief. That way you aren't headed into 3rd trimester with back pain already, you can have a bit of a break.
@lilpotatomama That chair looks magical (and also reminds me of most of my college buddies, lol). The back pain is killing me right now, and DH giving me at least a 1/2hr of massage is the only thing that really does *anything*- go use those gift certificates!
@phoenix92885 I hate reviving old threads but I am late to the game soo here I am.
I am sorry you have to deal with your aunt. It sounds a lot like my mom. She has severe depression and has a hard time holding down a job and dealing with life.I feel like I am constantly walking on egg shells. She is an alcoholic too (so is my dad). I am also an only child AND only grandchild (on her side). Having such a small family makes it REALLY tough to deal with family issues. I am literally all my Mom has so the guilt is a lot to deal with. It really really sucks that your aunt is unable to properly support her son.
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #2 since January 2018
Baby #1 DD Born 8/25/2016 BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
Re: Randoms w/o 12/17
@thatbaintforbetty, I think I hit whatever mode before I even got into work yesterday. It was my last day for a two week stretch unless I want to go in for extra hours. I don't think I've had this much consecutive time off in years. As for your friend, is she a book-lover, foodie, drinker...? I always gravitate towards useful-but-not-too-expensive gifts like a book or gift card, a special basket of favorite treats, or maybe a nice wine glass/cocktail shaker with some accessories for drinks.
@midway_mouse, I'm right there with you. No idea how I'm going to survive the first three months with a newborn and a 5yo on (basically) my own due to DH's job. I second what @professormama said though and I'll add to just take it one day at a time or one hour at a time and remember to breath.
@frenchfrymama, yay! Hope you guys get tons of quality time together over the holidays!
@ysotte, don't feel bad at all! Go home and take care of yourself. Being sick whilst pregnant should be illegal, it's a double whammy of awfulness
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
also I’m making dinner and I’m not even hungry or sure when DH will be back. ugh.
growing humans is hard.
Also, I hate cooking when I'm not even hungry myself, haha. It's probably why DS is now refusing to eat veggies and wants nothing but peanut butter sandwiches because the first 12 weeks I couldn't stand cooking anything....
Also my kid is eating a pb&j for dinner, lol.
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
Also I cannot contain my excitement because tonight DH and I were on the couch, watching Netflix and the baby kept kicking and I put DH’s hand on my belly (which I do almost every night and then get annoyed when he can’t feel anything). After a couple minutes of him just resting his hand there, I felt this really big kick and said “did you feel that?” and I looked over and DH looks so shocked and said yes! He finally felt our baby boy kick and I’m an emotional mess about it (as was he). It was perfect timing because we’re heading to see family for Christmas for 3 days tomorrow and I was worried that someone else would feel it before DH. But he felt him!!
I read every very post and must add that I love how chill and relational everyone is here and that there aren’t too many of us.
I will I’ll migrate to Facebook happily whenever we are closer because with the app I can’t do as much on here and it gets frustrating.
We are on vacation and I flew at 21weeks and 22 weeks and will fly again next week and each time it is harder to maneuver the plane/bathroom/pick up stuff dd drops on the ground while seated.
we are in MN and there is no snow here. Sad.
Maternity leave when unpaid is tricky. We just take the loss. Actually I never really went back to work after having my dd 3 yrs ago. I work very part time managing a small paint projects aspect of the maintenance department at the conference center/camp that we live and work at. Childcare here would be most of my salary so we just do without. Tight but I love staying home anyway. I’ll probaby take 8-10 weeks of leave and then return to planning projects from home. Pretty chill.
Dd turned 3 yesterday. It’s really weird. She acts more like a four yr old most ways so it’s really just a number but still...
A part of me hates having days off together with DH because I always have expectations of quality family time or getting shit done around the house together, and usually we end up on our individual phones zoning out or running around visiting family or running errands. Sigh... adulthood.
I really love my family, but my patience for their obnoxious quirks is extra low this year.
My older sister, in particular, is difficult. Just one baby-related example:
We don't want to know the sex of this baby, but even more so we didn't want anyone else to know (so even if we found out accidentally, we'd keep it a secret).
Of course, one of the first things that my sister says to me and my partner when we meet up: "So I showed your scans to my MIL, who is a super famous doctor specializing in fetal medicine, and she says it's a _____."
Great, thanks so much for that, sis. I really don't think that anything was evident on scans we shared, so I'm just trying to convince myself that this doesn't mean anything definitive.
It's even more ironic because my sister is personally very concerned with gender issues, and one would think that she might be able to understand our desire to not have a lot of preconceived notions built around the anatomical sex of an unborn child by just not wanting it known... Just one of the things she's done that I feel like I'm barely containing my frustration with her about.
Right now I've got an aunt who refuses to get help for her mental state. She has always really struggled with the idea of not being able to have more kids but she did have one. Since my cousin didn't have siblings, we were always really close. I was even close with my aunt when I was young. Well the past couple of years that inner struggle of hers has really blown out of control because her one kid came out as a trans man and you would think it's the end of the world for her. She tuned into the families alcoholism to deal with her depression. I had to help her son transition because she couldn't pull herself together and be there for him. The new thing she is absolutely devastated about now is she won't get to have grandchildren of her own. Which is a legit thing to mourn and grieve but this has been going on for quite some time now. It's to the point that I'm losing empathy for the situation. She gets drunk and says all sorts of things like she thought my gender reveal party was complete bullshit. Or that we are gonna be horrible parents. The other day she saw my bump and got her self absolutely plastered, then proceeded to have a melt down and turned on all the burners in her closed up house. I told the family to call 911 and get her help but my mom and uncle chose to talk her down and keep an eye on her. She's absolutely losing it. My boyfriend and I have been discussing how best to exit her out of our lives until she seeks some help because it's all getting to be too much for us. Unfortunately, I rely on her to take care of my grandmother (yes, her Mom) so I can go to my doctor's appointments because she can work from home. She maintains sobriety till 5 o clock hits.
Christmas is going to be interesting to say the least this year.
In other news, I have taken over my brother’s gaming chair. It’s the only thing that I can comfortably sit in due to back pain. I’m not even this comfortable in my own bed! I’m pretty sure I’m going to end up buying my own!
He has to work late tonight/early tomorrow morning and drive up into snow. Apparently they’re calling for 3 or so feet. And I’m the only one with working 4 wheel drive on their vehicle so I would have to go or give my mom my car to go get him.
Why the eff are the holidays so freaking stressful?
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
It’s funny you mention massages, because DH gave me a massage gift certificate two years ago that I’ve never felt like I reeeally needed to use. I didn’t want to “waste” it. Now I’m glad I never used it. I just don’t know if I should wait a few more weeks or just take advantage of it now!
I am sorry you have to deal with your aunt. It sounds a lot like my mom. She has severe depression and has a hard time holding down a job and dealing with life.I feel like I am constantly walking on egg shells. She is an alcoholic too (so is my dad). I am also an only child AND only grandchild (on her side). Having such a small family makes it REALLY tough to deal with family issues. I am literally all my Mom has so the guilt is a lot to deal with. It really really sucks that your aunt is unable to properly support her son.
BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18