@batmama31 I feel like a blimp too. When going through fertility tx, I went from a size 6 to a size 10. I just feel as though I keep growing and will never stop. And the extra weight impacts my energy and motivation.
@batmama31 I can totally relate. I noticed that after this weekend that my belly feels really heavy and doing anything takes a lot of energy. I don't remember feeling this till toward the end with my 1st pregnancy and I'm really not looking forward to the next 15 weeks either.
@batmama31, I feel the same way. I think the toll pregnancy takes (especially a subsequent pregnancy) on our energy levels is insane regardless of weight gain. I've been so exhausted it's hard to make myself do anything.
Also, I feel like I squat like a woman about to give birth (i.e, legs wide to avoid the bump and moving very awkwardly), not someone who's only 24 weeks.
Well, it’s finally happened. Some stranger asked me tonight if I was 8 months pregnant. Granted, I had just eaten way too much pizza for dinner, but come on! I’m barely 23 weeks! 😂😂
@batmama31 I don’t think it matters what size one starts, the rapid change in shape is enough to make one feel like a blimp...
I definitely don’t think people who are shaped more like my current state are fat but I sure as hell feel blimpy and bloated right now. I feel so stretched out but also so squeezed by even my previously looser clothing.
I am currently trying to summon the energy to get off the couch to go bra shopping because I just can’t fit any of my bras anymore. They’re all stretchy sports bras, but my rib cage has just expanded too much (along with the boob growth). Feeling so inflated everywhere...
Long rant and vent coming. I'm so sorry guys, I feel like all I do is complain.
H has pushed me over the edge tonight!!! So you have 24 hours here to clear the sidewalk in front of your house after a snowfall. It's been like 2 weeks and H always has an excuse to not do it. I was so fed up I just did it today. Then I went inside and made dinner and entertained the kids the whole time. Then he says I should make his lunch for tomorrow or "make his night" and threatened to unhook the TV. Like he was totally kidding but WTF. He would not shut up about me making his lunch. He was talking over my show and anything I said he'd talk over me about his lunch. Then started tapping his nails on his phone. It gets under my skin the same way people can't handle loud chewers. It actually makes me feel sick. Holy shit. Even thinking about it now gets me antsy. He knows it bothers me and he wouldn't stop. I ended up yelling at him and now he's pouting. You can't try to make me angry then get mad I'm angry. Come on dude.
Me: 31 H: 36 L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
It’s 4 am and I’m eating popcorn and icing my poor vaginal area because it’s itchy. My newest fun symptom! No infection, just general itchiness but it isn’t helping my sleep situation. TMI but I guess not really, we’re all pregnant here 🤷🏻♀️ I feel like I’m going crazy. I haven’t slept more than 5 hours a night in nearly a week. This kid likes to throw a dance party around 3 every morning, and it keeps me up for a while. DH snores. I have restless legs now. Lack of sleep = increased anxiety, AWFUL mood swings, and general overall grumpiness. I’m starting to get really worried about how I’m going to handle the lack of sleep when baby girl gets here, and I’m starting to doubt that I’m cut out for this. If I’m THIS upset and frustrated when I don’t even have real parental responsibilities yet, what am I going to do in April? I’ve always known that lack of sleep increases my anxiety and make my depression worse, so why did I think it would magically not be an issue when pregnant?
ETA my little cat who NEVER snuggles is in my lap and I could cry. We really don’t deserve animals.
@mermaidca i think sometimes our DHs just don’t know when to back off. It wasn’t any one thing, it was the unrelenting accumulation. And just shutting up and going away for a bit (to entertain the kids, maybe?) could have made a world of difference. Gah. I get it.
@lilpotatomama I need my sleep too. But I’m better at getting a little here and a little there and not fully waking to nurse. Can you go to bed earlier? Take a mid-morning or afternoon nap?
@lyse01 I actually go to bed decently early, around 10 every night give or take a bit. So I’ve at least got that down! As far as naps go, I sure do miss them. My current schedule hasn’t allowed for them. However, I have cleared my plans completely today and I’m hoping to take an awesome afternoon nap. Hopefully that cheers me up.
@lilpotatomama the first 3 months of infancy are kind of hell, in terms of hormones and lack of sleep, I won’t lie. But it’s finite. That’s the biggest thing to remember when you’re exhausted and moody and miserable - this too shall pass (even though it feels endless). If you can stick it out until August, you’ll start getting some sleep again, your hormones will settle down, and you’ll have an adorable sweet baby in your arms. ❤️
I feel better that I'm not the only one feeling the way I do. thank you guys for sharing
@mermaidca, that is so infuriating about your husband! I wouldn't have handled it nearly as well as you did. blood certainly would have been shed under my roof.
soo... I'm a fucking idiot. all this time, I've been kicking back, thinking I have no worries or planning to do, since I kept everything from my first. well.... I didn't keep everything. I asked husband to look for first son's old baby clothes that I put in a tupperware bin, he couldn't find it. so when I got home from work, I helped him look. and as I double checked places we had already looked, I slowly started to remember that I actually got rid of EVERYTHING about this time last year, in an emotional rage, when I wasn't getting pregnant fast enough. (eta: got rid of all the clothes, not baby gear, thank god!)
yeah.
not a big deal, I guess. I knew I was going to have to buy a few things, since my babies will be different seasoned babies. and really, who doesn't love shopping for baby clothes? (oh, that's right- some of you don't- I haven't forgotten the UO from a few months back ) anyway, now I get to go balls to the wall w/ cute baby clothes shopping!
@lilpotatomama - try some benedryl. It should be prego safe and has 2 benefits anti-inch and helps you sleep!
@mermaidca - I would have killed him. We generally do things 50/50 (pre-pregnancy) but I have made it VERY clear that is not the case right now. I will do like 30% and you get the rest, I am growing a fucking human and I have NO time for bullshit.
I have so much left to do this week before vacation and I have NO energy to do it. ekk
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #2 since January 2018
Baby #1 DD Born 8/25/2016 BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
@mermaidca if my husband would've suggested either of those options more than once, after I said no, he would be in for the fiery pits of hell. Seriously.
@lilpotatomama try a Unisom. It may help you stay asleep through the 3am rave.
@lilpotatomama I totally agree with what @professormama said, the newborn stage is rough. If you know that sleep deprivation causes anxiety/depression I would talk with your doctor about it now on ways you can cope once baby is here. Take the advice of sleep when baby sleeps, hand baby off to DH, friends, relatives, and take a nap instead of host if/when they come to visit. Take care of yourself first so you can take care of baby.
@mermaidca you are a stronger woman then me. He would be toast.
@lilpotatomama I will echo the others, the first 3 months are purely survival and pretty much hell. But it generally does get better and you usually find some sort of new normal. Also what really helped me was sitting down and having a long semi uncomfortable conversation with my DH about triggers and PPD/PPA and what was going to go on (to the best of my knowledge). Like I will burst into tears for no reason because of the hormones and it’s going to be probably scary and really odd but it will happen and it is normal. But gave him a list of things that weren’t normal to look out for and what to do if he saw anything he was unsure about or had questions.
Also I feel like I can function on a lot less sleep since having a kid. Though I am definitely all around more tired in general too. My DH used ask how I could fall asleep at the drop of hat when DD was little, i told him it’s a bit like the Hulk, my secret is I’m always tired. But you adjust. And do not be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes one good nights sleep can make you feel a million times better.
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
Thanks for the support y'all!! I'm 90% sure he was kidding but damn. Stop. I've had other boyfriends like that, push your buttons until you snap then they're hurt. That was all you, big guy. Stop.
Sorry you're having such a tough time @lilpotatomama. I'll add, unfortunately, that I definitely had a few moments of insanity because of lack of sleep when trying to feed the screaming twins alone at 3am. Take all the help you can get. There is no shame in it and people love to help with little squishy babies.
My favourite phrase throughout raising children is "This too shall pass". Every phase comes to an end. Every hard time, every trying moment will pass.
Me: 31 H: 36 L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
@lilpotatomama additionally, one of the things that happened to really help was that DH and I sleep offset by several hours. He had the shift from when I went to sleep around 9/10 to about 2 am, then I took over in the wee hours. Having a plan for a solid 4-5 hrs of uninterrupted sleep made an enormous difference in the month or two after she came home from the hospital. Granted, it doesn’t work for everyone (depending on the work schedules of both partners) but it worked well for us.
Ugh. For me, DD’s first 8-9 months were actual hell, not just her first three. I am praying this kid is so much better. BUT the hormones do level off a bit after the first few months so there’s that I guess. I still felt like nearly her first entire year I was barely surviving. That’s not to say many babies are that way, but some are, so if any of ours are, I got you with solidarity, sister. It was important for me to be aware of my mental health through it though, and looking back I’m not sure I did a good job advocating for myself. But I have a better support system this time, and I think I’ve been able to convey to DH, in level headed retrospect, just what I was going through so he can do a better job supporting me this time. I did reach out at one point and beg for help from ladies at church to feed me, because DD was so difficult I couldn’t even get any cooking done. That was a little humbling, but after I did it, things got quite a bit better. Moral of the story here I guess is, don’t be afraid to ask for help. And in the end, it did get so much better and I’m 100% healthier now, mentally and physically.
You guys. I really wish i could post pictures from our Ugly Christmas Sweater contest today. It's fucking hilarious. 2 guys coordinated Christmas patterned suits. There are beard ornaments and detachable sleeve dinosaur knit sweaters. It's horrifically glorious.
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
I'm seriously considering working through my maternity leave. I won't get a paid leave, and we depend on both incomes. We're doing what we can to save and I know I can take at least a few weeks at home. But I think I'm going to talk with my boss and see if we can work out a modified work schedule where I can bring baby in my office with me maybe 2 days a week after that for a little while and work from home some too. I do have a private office set apart from the other offices and space for a rock'n'play or something so it might work out. I dunno.
@HGRich DD didn't STTN until she was 9 months old and didn't have a good nap routine until about 8 months. It was terrible. I hope this baby sleeps a little bit better. I would say the first 6 months were bad for me, basically until I started taking medication for my PPD/PPA. No one ever tells how you how actually exhausting a baby really is. Lack of sleep messes with everyone.
@chrissdee do you have any short term disability that would be able to help out with finances? I can't remember if this is your first or not but it really isn't viable to work at all the first 6 weeks. Your body is recovering, you're going to be on a whole new level of exhaustion, and you really won't be able to work (mentally, physically, emotionally, etc).
@mrstmoose This is my 2nd child; my first is 3yo. No, I don't have short-term disability and unfortunately didn't look into it until I was already pregnant and couldn't qualify for it. I'm just trying desperately to make some sort of plan, I don't know what to do yet.
@lyse01@thatbaintforbetty@gollygeeitsamy@mrstmoose@mermaidca@kosmo86@professormama and to anyone else I forgot to tag - thank you so much for the support, advice and encouragement! It is appreciated more than y’all know. It’s always a little easier to talk to women who have been there than it is to talk to DH, simply because he cannot comprehend what pregnancy and this deep exhaustion feels like.
4 hours of sleep last night. But... I cleaned! Put away all of the clean dishes, vacuumed, cleaned the toilet, and organized. I’m so proud of myself for powering through, and now I’m not doing shit for the rest of the day. No one can drag me out of this bed.
@mermaidca even if he was joking, I would have put H on my shit list for at least a week. You are amazing for how you handled it.
I am dreading Christmas this year. My SIL is histrionic and my MIL is narcissistic. SIL tries to lay the groundwork for drama and with pregnancy there will be so many mine fields to deal with. My MIL is already ordering H and me around.... I nearly lost it already and I am not even in the same room as them. The worst is that we have to travel 5 hours and will be staying for 3-4 days. Last Thanksgiving, my MIL got angry at me for making oatmeal and refused to speak with me the whole day. If that happens again, I will bet staying at a hotel.
I don't know if it was on purpose or by accident but somebody got sugar free cocoa for the cookies and cocoa part of our ugly sweater celebrations today and it fits within the carb count of my snack!
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
Took a 2 hour lunch but got the very last christmas present! WOOT! The last 3 weeks have been hella busy but now i finally feel like I can relax. You know except the driving 2 hours each way on Saturday and then cooking on Sunday and Tuesday.
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #2 since January 2018
Baby #1 DD Born 8/25/2016 BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
Trying to catch up on all the posts. The last week has been overwhelming. I thought about typing everything out, but it felt like a lot of complaining. Super ready for my day off work tomorrow. I would call in sick today if I had literally anyone available to cover my shift.
@ysotte I feel like all I do here is complain! It's a good place to just get everything off your chest and vent. I hope you get to rest and recharge tomorrow.
Me: 31 H: 36 L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
I feel like super mom today. Ran all the errands (target, michaels, dry cleaners, stopped by work - all with kid in tow). Plus we made 2 kinds of cookies + chocolate dipped pretzels and orange segments. My 4 year old looooves to cook so he was in heaven today. AND I got a chicken roasting in the oven. Just planted my ass on the couch and not getting back up again for awhile. I’m worn out!
@mermaidca yea, but I guess because it’s a list of problems instead of just one, it feels like more negativity than I want to share 😆 literally something has happened just about every day since last week on Tuesday. Tomorrow will be my recovery.
@professormama nice! I need a productive day like that. Maybe next week. Haha
Solidarity, ladies. @mermaidca, I agree that if that were my DH he would have been dead. Pregnant rage or not, haha. @lilpotatomama, I'll just echo what other mamas have said - everything is just a phase, and don't be afraid to ask for help.
I just finished wrapping Christmas presents in the hopes it would make me feel more holiday-cheer-y and it just made me more depressed. Ugh.
I’ve been awake since like 3:45. It’s now 5:30. Totally a reasonable time to give up on sleep and start some laundry, right? Life goals: be like @professormama
@lilpotatomama - Have you talked to your doctor? Sometimes they have good solutions. Mine uses progesterone, which helps me personally with both sleep and anxiety. You definitely do not need to wait to get some input!
DD woke up barfing at 5:15. Double bummer because my anatomy scan is today, and DH and I were going to make a morning of it while she was at school.
Now I've just been up for 2 hours, making myself extra nervous...
Ugh @kosmo86 FEEL BETTER. Sending nap and coffee vibes your way. @thesoufflegirl - good luck at your scan today! Sorry your morning plans got changed - hopefully DD recovers quickly.
Everyone that isn't feeling good- solidarity. I'm on day 7 of this cold.
@midway_mouse I'm late to the party but I give you props for even dealing with it. I couldn't do it. Oatmeal triggers that kind of tantrum?! What is she 3.5 going on however old she is?
@lyse01 hahaha I don't recommend being like me as a life goal. But hooray for productivity!! Although booo for being up so early.
@kosmo86 oh no, I really hope you feel better soon! That sounds absolutely miserable.
@TheSouffleGirl good luck at the scan today! I hope your daughter gets well soon too. Barf is the worst.
I'm using this winter break as an opportunity to make doctors appointments for our entire family - we all are months (and in my case, years) behind on every single type of regular check up that you're supposed to get. I'm also taking my son to see Mary Poppins Returns this morning, and I'm soooooo excited! He's never been to the movies before, so that will be fun, but also, I'm just dying to see that movie
Re: Randoms w/o 12/17
Also, I feel like I squat like a woman about to give birth (i.e, legs wide to avoid the bump and moving very awkwardly), not someone who's only 24 weeks.
I definitely don’t think people who are shaped more like my current state are fat but I sure as hell feel blimpy and bloated right now. I feel so stretched out but also so squeezed by even my previously looser clothing.
I am currently trying to summon the energy to get off the couch to go bra shopping because I just can’t fit any of my bras anymore. They’re all stretchy sports bras, but my rib cage has just expanded too much (along with the boob growth). Feeling so inflated everywhere...
H has pushed me over the edge tonight!!! So you have 24 hours here to clear the sidewalk in front of your house after a snowfall. It's been like 2 weeks and H always has an excuse to not do it. I was so fed up I just did it today. Then I went inside and made dinner and entertained the kids the whole time. Then he says I should make his lunch for tomorrow or "make his night" and threatened to unhook the TV. Like he was totally kidding but WTF. He would not shut up about me making his lunch. He was talking over my show and anything I said he'd talk over me about his lunch. Then started tapping his nails on his phone. It gets under my skin the same way people can't handle loud chewers. It actually makes me feel sick. Holy shit. Even thinking about it now gets me antsy. He knows it bothers me and he wouldn't stop. I ended up yelling at him and now he's pouting. You can't try to make me angry then get mad I'm angry. Come on dude.
H: 36
L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
I feel like I’m going crazy. I haven’t slept more than 5 hours a night in nearly a week. This kid likes to throw a dance party around 3 every morning, and it keeps me up for a while. DH snores. I have restless legs now. Lack of sleep = increased anxiety, AWFUL mood swings, and general overall grumpiness. I’m starting to get really worried about how I’m going to handle the lack of sleep when baby girl gets here, and I’m starting to doubt that I’m cut out for this. If I’m THIS upset and frustrated when I don’t even have real parental responsibilities yet, what am I going to do in April? I’ve always known that lack of sleep increases my anxiety and make my depression worse, so why did I think it would magically not be an issue when pregnant?
ETA my little cat who NEVER snuggles is in my lap and I could cry. We really don’t deserve animals.
@lilpotatomama I need my sleep too. But I’m better at getting a little here and a little there and not fully waking to nurse. Can you go to bed earlier? Take a mid-morning or afternoon nap?
@mermaidca, that is so infuriating about your husband! I wouldn't have handled it nearly as well as you did. blood certainly would have been shed under my roof.
soo... I'm a fucking idiot. all this time, I've been kicking back, thinking I have no worries or planning to do, since I kept everything from my first. well.... I didn't keep everything. I asked husband to look for first son's old baby clothes that I put in a tupperware bin, he couldn't find it. so when I got home from work, I helped him look. and as I double checked places we had already looked, I slowly started to remember that I actually got rid of EVERYTHING about this time last year, in an emotional rage, when I wasn't getting pregnant fast enough. (eta: got rid of all the clothes, not baby gear, thank god!)
yeah.
not a big deal, I guess. I knew I was going to have to buy a few things, since my babies will be different seasoned babies. and really, who doesn't love shopping for baby clothes? (oh, that's right- some of you don't- I haven't forgotten the UO from a few months back
@mermaidca - I would have killed him. We generally do things 50/50 (pre-pregnancy) but I have made it VERY clear that is not the case right now. I will do like 30% and you get the rest, I am growing a fucking human and I have NO time for bullshit.
I have so much left to do this week before vacation and I have NO energy to do it. ekk
BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
@lilpotatomama try a Unisom. It may help you stay asleep through the 3am rave.
@lilpotatomama I will echo the others, the first 3 months are purely survival and pretty much hell. But it generally does get better and you usually find some sort of new normal. Also what really helped me was sitting down and having a long semi uncomfortable conversation with my DH about triggers and PPD/PPA and what was going to go on (to the best of my knowledge). Like I will burst into tears for no reason because of the hormones and it’s going to be probably scary and really odd but it will happen and it is normal. But gave him a list of things that weren’t normal to look out for and what to do if he saw anything he was unsure about or had questions.
Also I feel like I can function on a lot less sleep since having a kid. Though I am definitely all around more tired in general too. My DH used ask how I could fall asleep at the drop of hat when DD was little, i told him it’s a bit like the Hulk, my secret is I’m always tired. But you adjust. And do not be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes one good nights sleep can make you feel a million times better.
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
Sorry you're having such a tough time @lilpotatomama. I'll add, unfortunately, that I definitely had a few moments of insanity because of lack of sleep when trying to feed the screaming twins alone at 3am. Take all the help you can get. There is no shame in it and people love to help with little squishy babies.
My favourite phrase throughout raising children is "This too shall pass". Every phase comes to an end. Every hard time, every trying moment will pass.
H: 36
L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
mental health through it though, and looking back I’m not sure I did a good job advocating for myself. But I have a better support system this time, and I think I’ve been able to convey to DH, in level headed retrospect, just what I was going through so he can do a better job supporting me this time. I did reach out at one point and beg for help from ladies at church to feed me, because DD was so difficult I couldn’t even get any cooking done. That was a little humbling, but after I did it, things got quite a bit better. Moral of the story here I guess is, don’t be afraid to ask for help. And in the end, it did get so much better and I’m 100% healthier now, mentally and physically.
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
@chrissdee do you have any short term disability that would be able to help out with finances? I can't remember if this is your first or not but it really isn't viable to work at all the first 6 weeks. Your body is recovering, you're going to be on a whole new level of exhaustion, and you really won't be able to work (mentally, physically, emotionally, etc).
4 hours of sleep last night. But... I cleaned! Put away all of the clean dishes, vacuumed, cleaned the toilet, and organized. I’m so proud of myself for powering through, and now I’m not doing shit for the rest of the day. No one can drag me out of this bed.
I am dreading Christmas this year. My SIL is histrionic and my MIL is narcissistic. SIL tries to lay the groundwork for drama and with pregnancy there will be so many mine fields to deal with. My MIL is already ordering H and me around.... I nearly lost it already and I am not even in the same room as them. The worst is that we have to travel 5 hours and will be staying for 3-4 days. Last Thanksgiving, my MIL got angry at me for making oatmeal and refused to speak with me the whole day. If that happens again, I will bet staying at a hotel.
Edited for autocorrect
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
H: 36
L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
@professormama nice! I need a productive day like that. Maybe next week. Haha
I just finished wrapping Christmas presents in the hopes it would make me feel more holiday-cheer-y and it just made me more depressed. Ugh.
BAH HUMBUG
Need nap and coffee
BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
DD woke up barfing at 5:15. Double bummer because my anatomy scan is today, and DH and I were going to make a morning of it while she was at school.
Now I've just been up for 2 hours, making myself extra nervous...
@thesoufflegirl - good luck at your scan today! Sorry your morning plans got changed - hopefully DD recovers quickly.
Everyone that isn't feeling good- solidarity. I'm on day 7 of this cold.
@midway_mouse I'm late to the party but I give you props for even dealing with it. I couldn't do it. Oatmeal triggers that kind of tantrum?! What is she 3.5 going on however old she is?
DD born: 3/31/19
@kosmo86 oh no, I really hope you feel better soon! That sounds absolutely miserable.
@TheSouffleGirl good luck at the scan today! I hope your daughter gets well soon too. Barf is the worst.
I'm using this winter break as an opportunity to make doctors appointments for our entire family - we all are months (and in my case, years) behind on every single type of regular check up that you're supposed to get. I'm also taking my son to see Mary Poppins Returns this morning, and I'm soooooo excited! He's never been to the movies before, so that will be fun, but also, I'm just dying to see that movie