PGAL check-in week of Dec 10

harrierwife · December 2018

::lurking, hoping I'm not invading this space, but was looking for an update::

@bakerstreetboys - You were on my mind a lot yesterday and I'm very sorry that you and your family are in the worst kind of limbo right now. Like others have said, that 1-2% are actual people out there, and there's no reason why you couldn't be one of them. That being said, I hope you're able to find some joy and relaxation over the holidays. We're all here for you, and your boy is certainly in my thoughts.

@coco2787 - I will light a candle for your little girl today

suzycupcake · December 2018

bakerstreetboys said:

she did confirm that there are some very rare situations where the placenta could have abnormal cells but that baby could be unaffected. Although only 1-2% of pregnancies display this, it was still enough for us to book further testing. We will go back for another ultrasound in two weeks to check on growth and structure of the baby. A CVS isn't conclusive so we're going straight to an amnio. Unfortunately they can't do that until after 15 weeks, so I have to wait until January 8, which is going to be very hard. Getting bigger, still being pregnant, feeling the baby move by then...all the while knowing that I will most likely never get to bring this little boy home. We are devastated but trying to remain positive. If we end up being in that 1-2%, it will all be worth it. Please keep your fingers crossed for us. It's going to be a tough Christmas and a long few weeks. I will be checking in to see how the rest of you are doing...I hope this is the last bad news this board sees.

*dirty lurker here because J19 loss Moms have a special place in my heart*

Uhm no, that genetics counselor is talking from her asshole. We've known for 30-40 years that when any baby is born, we can put the placenta under a microscope and see issssllllllands of chromosome abnormalities having nothing to do with the baby. We all carry cells and shit like that which can become something bad, but it doesn't mean they will. And nothing looked amiss on the u/s? Even more proof they're most likely wrong. They are wrong many many many times! Sending all the love, prayers, and hugs to you and your family. I'm so sorry you are in this position.

sparklingdiamond · December 2018

I do agree that it's rare for a T18 baby to look normal on an u/s. A friend of mine had this happen and they saw signs pretty early. So still holding out a lot of hope for you!

bakerstreetboys · December 2018

@suzycupcake and @sparklingdiamond If I were further along, I would be more hopeful that this was the case. Everything is still so small at 12 weeks that they really can’t see the brain/heart/hands and feet very well, which is where most T18 abnormalities show up. He didn’t have the opening near his stomach which they often see (I forget the name of it) so at least that was a good sign. It’s more often at the 18-20 week ultrasound where they see more markers. I will take all the good thoughts and hope I can get though!

Dcwtada · December 2018

I told a couple close friends/family today about this pregnancy. I got the exact reaction I was fearing: Aren’t you high risk, I am happy for you but...,!isn’t 3 more than enough especially with your problems, I guess I am happy for you.

I prepped myself for this but it hurts as much as if I didn’t. I hate opening up. I wish I could just keep this to myself until baby is here. Maybe I am being irresponsible but we truly want another baby, even if its tough. Now I am hesitant to tell my parents, I know they will be upset.

sorry this is the only place I feel comfortable posting this, I know we have had terrible news and my heart has been broken, I feel even worse now.

tuxielove93 · December 2018

@Dcwtada I'm really sorry you had bad reactions. It doesn't matter what kid this is, or what your other issues have been (something I KNOW you are on top of), people should at the very least just say congratulations and be happy to you, no matter what they may feel on the inside. I never understood reacting anyway but happy for a pregnant mama sharing her news with you (general). I really hope you know that this whole board is here to support you and root for you. I hope at least some of the people in your life can get it together and just be happy for you because obviously, YOU are happy, and confident in your choices, and that's all that matters. The only people who get a say in your uterus is you, and maybe DH if you want to let him in

antera23 · December 2018

@Dcwtada I’m so sorry people reacted that way. They should have said congratulations and moved on. You and your husband are the only ones who get to make decisions for your family. That was so rude of them.

eleven_ · December 2018

@Dcwtada I'm so sorry. I totally know that feeling. People say the most hurtful things when all you are wanting to hear is that they are happy for you. My dad thought we were being irresponsible for wanting a third and it really hurt to have someone I love be judgemental toward my life choices. I've just tried to tell myself that I'm happy and that's truly all that matters.

kjr9519 · December 2018

@Dcwtada I absolutely agree with the others. You’re happy for this baby and wanting it, so others should be happy too.

canuckbaby · December 2018

I am totally lurking but @Dcwtada thats awful thing to say to someone. I hope your parents also dont express any kind of displeasure.

nmbrcrnchr1 · December 2018

@bakerstreetboys will continue to keep you in my thoughts, I hope you are the 1-2% and I also hope the next few weeks fly by for you so you can get more definitive answers.
@Dcwtada I’m sorry people gave you that reaction. I get that people are concerned with others well-being but it’s also not their decision. I’m sure you and your DH carefully considered the risks of having another baby and ultimately it is/was your decision. I just think some people will never understand it and need to take a moment to think before they react. I hope your parents are more kind ❤️

Dcwtada · December 2018

Thanks ladies. I know it coming from a good place, they are worried but now I am just spiraling a bit, thinking the worst may happen. There is no guarantee I or the baby will have the same problems as last time and I keep telling myself as tough as it was I am fine now and my son is absolutely perfect.

ncm1919 · December 2018

@Dcwtada when people react in a way I don’t like, I try to trace my way back to the cause. I can’t remember your exact history but could they be scared something could happen to you?

I didn’t have a high risk pregnancy or birth at all but I remember my dad coming to see the baby for the first time and he basically said I haven’t taken a real breath in 12 hours because I was so afraid you wouldn’t be ok.

I try and frame everything around how I would react if my daughter was in the same situation. Im trying to do my best to see things through my family’s lens but it can be hard. I’m sorry they didn’t do a good job of supporting you. My guess is they will come around once they have had some time to sit with it.

Dcwtada · December 2018

I had pre-e and HELLP with my last pregnancy, I was hospitalized at 29 weeks but thankfully after they got me stable was able to come home (albeit with hospital appointments every other day until I delivered a month early) but we had some scares including him being growth restricted a bit and my placenta had been compromised by hypertension. And then when my son was born he had breathing issues and was hospitalized at the children’s hospital when he was about 2 months until he had surgery at 3 months. It was a tough time for us all and I know they are worried. My dad said before he doesn’t know if he can go through it again and told my husband flat out to get a vasectomy. Obviously he didn’t.

I think I have been keeping this pregnancy to myself to spare them the worry (previously I had told them around 6 weeks). I may not say anything to them until the A/S but my issues really with pre-e and hypertension don’t start popping up until later on. I just want to give them the baby is ok talk when I tell them if that makes sense.

coco2787 · December 2018

@Dcwtada I’m sorry you didn’t get better reactions when sharing your happy news. I've been worried about similar reactions. I think @ncm1919 makes a good point that it probably stems from a place of love and concern, but I totally understand being disappointed with the response you got. I hope that your family and friends come around and can be happy for you. I'm sure that once baby is here it will be very much loved

meatballs37 · December 2018

@Dcwtada
I am sorry that you didn't get a more joyful response. I wish we could tell our extended family and friends to just be happy because with PGAL brains and scary deliveries, I am sure we all here do more than enough worry to go around. It would just be nice to get a happy response to lighten that worrisome load I am sure. Hopefully that was just their initial concern and they will be more supportive the rest of your pregnancy.

meatballs37 · December 2018

So I still can't find baby girl on the doppler. Which is frustrating since they did at the OB almost two weeks ago. I am 14 weeks today. And I can feel her move now when I am laying still and not distracted. I haven't felt her today though and of course I am a ball of nerves. My next appointment is Tuesday. I wonder when this will get easier? I think I feel a little more at ease now that 1st tri is done, but the anatomy scan is going to creep up quick.

Anyone feeling a little more at ease? I am trying to keep myself in check with worry.

carleym93 · December 2018

@meatballs37 I’m sorry. I keep reminding myself that they’re so tiny and can easily squeeze themselves up against the placenta and not be felt. FX she comes out of hiding soon and you can find her!

I’m feeling a little more at ease now at 15w5d but still very anxious about my anatomy scan. Its on 1/18. I think once that is over (if everything is okay) then I will feel better for the most part. PGAL brain is ruthless though.

meatballs37 · December 2018

I think I might feel the next biggest relief when I pass the 29 week mark that Abe passed. That will probably be a life changing milestone.

carleym93 · December 2018

@meatballs37 That will be huge. I’m trying so hard to not be so anxious this time because this is our last baby, but its very hard. When your heart has already been broken, its so difficult to not anticipate more heartbreak. I’ll be thinking of you on Tuesday and hoping your little wiggle worm can be detected before then!

meatballs37 · December 2018

@carleym93 definitely. This is our last too. I feel extra pressure because of that

sarcat87 · December 2018

@meatballs37 I asked my doctor about this at the last appointment. She's been able to pick up the heartbeat at the office from 7 weeks but I haven't been able to with my own Doppler yet and I'm 12w 5d. She said it's common to not be able to find your baby using the at-home Doppler until somewhere between 16 -18 weeks. I was concerned too and that made me feel a bit better.

meatballs37 · December 2018

@sarcat87 that definitely makes me feel a little better. Thank you!

meatballs37 · December 2018

@sarcat87 that definitely makes me feel a little better. Thank you!

sparklingdiamond · December 2018

@meatballs37 I only found the heartbeat like once with the Doppler even though the doctor seemed to easily find it

coco2787 · December 2018

I’m 9+1 today and decided to try out the Doppler...I was totally shocked but I actually found the HB for a few seconds! I’ve watched a lot of Doppler YouTube videos so I’m 100% certain it was baby I was hearing. Seriously so cool hearing that fast little heartbeat

Want a personalized experience?

PGAL check-in week of Dec 10

Re: PGAL check-in week of Dec 10

Choose Another Board

Search Boards