Weekly randoms 12/10 - Page 4 — The Bump
June 2019 Moms

Weekly randoms 12/10

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Re: Weekly randoms 12/10

  • Ugh I was busy yesterday and couldnt get on and then logged on this morning to all the sad news!

    I flew to Portland today to visit DH while he's here for work.  I already miss DS!  I just got to the hotel and am waiting for him to get off work. 
  • But I just saw all the new BFPs on TTGP!  That's exciting!
    antera23TJtheGoat
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  • Do we have a thread for venting about insurance? My insurance policy says that they cover 100% of prenatal care, but I got three bills related to an appointment that included an ultrasound and labs. I called to clarify, and apparently ultrasounds and labs are not included. What's included? Checking maternal weight, blood pressure, and fetal heart beat. (I have a scale, blood pressure monitor, and a $35 home doppler that works just fine, so these are basically of no use to me.) That's it. The weirdest part is that I had the same policy with my first pregnancy and everything was covered then. I need to look into this some more with the doctor but it all sounds insane to me. (Perhaps it's because I'm Canadian and seven years later still don't understand how healthcare in the US works...)
  • I'm not sure if it's okay to ask this here... but it is a random I suppose. 

    What do you ladies do for fun? I feel like I lost enjoyment of so many things. I don't like to read anymore, or go out, or watch any tv series or movies, or work out, I used to love working out or anything really. It all feels like so much effort. For years I was also actively working on a scrapbook of my kids pictures from pretty much everything they've ever done but I lost interest in doing that as well. We're going on vacation soon and I don't want to waste it by feeling like I can't enjoy anything. This entire year I've read so much and enjoyed so many (fiction) books... 6 weeks into my pregnancy I just couldn't care to pick up a book anymore. 

    I do have GAD and MDD and weaned off my medication as soon as I found out I was pregnant, even though my Dr assured me that it would be fine to stay on... just couldn't help but worry. The Dr suggested therapy/counseling but with this loss of energy I just can't see myself making a weekly appointment where even talking about how I've been feeling is too much effort... 

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    marijaa333
  • @stardustdreams honestly it sounds like you might need to go back on meds to help you through and if the doc says its okay it might be best. I watch a lot of tv play candy crush go to movies - spend a lot of time with second job as a travel agent. We get together with friends and watch hockey or play board games.
    stardustdreams
  • @canuckbaby thanks for your comment. I do think it's probably best to go back on I want to get excited about cleaning up my kids' rooms and taking out their old gear that would be used for their baby sibling but with the lack of energy, it's so hard! 

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • antera23antera23 member
    edited December 2018
    @marijaa333 I was born in the USA and I still don’t understand insurance, lol. My insurance says something like that too. It’s almost like they want to confuse you. 

    @ki1244 I’m glad the dinner went well! They seem like great guys. 

    @stardustdreams honestly it can be hard to tell if it’s prenancy or depression starting to creep in. One of the first signs of depression is loosing interest in things that you once enjoyed. So based on that I would be worried about how you’re feeling. There are some meds that are pregnancy safe. I’m on Prozac. Talk to your doctor and keep us updated. 
    ki1244stardustdreamsmarijaa333
  • I have a military related complaint and I’m not even really a military wife yet. DH was commissioned into the Army in October and we still have no idea when he’s getting paid. He’s doing this program called FAP (financial assistance program). It’s for doctors who are in a civilian residency program. Army pays them a lump sum each year and a monthly stipend while they’re in residency. And then they owe back a certain number of years after. DH’s residency is 2 years, so he’ll owe 3 years after it’s done. It’s a great program, but I think we’re starting to learn about “army efficiency”, as FIL calls it (he’s a colonel). I wouldn’t be bitching, but it’s $60k. He was accepted into the program in July. Commissioned in October. Still no orders or money. Kindaaaa stressful. 


    marijaa333
  • @stardustdreams i agree with @antera23 that it would be hard to decipher pregnancy related energy kill vs a more serious slip into depression. I think its an important thing to stay on top of. For your health and the baby's especially as things could unravel hard after delivery. Time of year doesnt help. 
    stardustdreamsBababattymarijaa333antera23
  • @canuckbaby @antera23 I was on prozac, too.

    A lot of OBs where I live are completely against women taking it during pregnancy but I think it's because they are being overly cautious. My OB and Pdr both assured me it would be okay. As for my lack of energy, it is completely psychological. I don't know if this makes sense but when I say lack of energy, I just feels like it's so much energy to invest into an activity that will bring back no enjoyment. I am able to do the things I immediately need to do, but anything beyond that feels like too much with no return on my investment. As for after delivery, I already agreed with my Pdr that I will come see him in my last month of pregnancy to get a prescription to start my full dose as soon as the baby's born. But I think I'll make an appointment for January. 

    @srscott3 I'm so sorry that it's stressing you out. I would be stressed, too. My husband was on a military program where we live and it's so difficult to get any information about what's going to happen next let alone learn anything about payments. I hope you hear soon.

     

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    srscott3
  • @stardustdreams

    I feel basically the exact same as you and even though I don’t have any advice, just thought I would commiserate. I haven’t opened the mental health thread because it overwhelms me a bit, but maybe you might find it useful? I was also on prozac(and Xanax) before getting pregnant for GAD, Depression, and PTSD. I plan on going back on prozac after my next OB appointment next week. Prozac is proven to be one of the few safe for pregnancy and breastfeeding, but also like you, it still left me feeling more anxious to take it during the first tri especially. I also stopped going to counseling because all those appointments on top of the now MFM and OB one’s were stressing me out for childcare purposes. I actually feel better not going, but I was in pretty intense counseling and psych care or the last year. I’ve come a long way.

    I’m hoping once second tri picks up more and I go back on Prozac, I will feel more motivated to also do things that I love again (take DD places, shop at Target just because, mini projects around the house). I know my psych really thought Prozac was a good fit for me since it’s a “pick me up and go” kinda drug. Perfect for taking in the morning and giving you that push throughout the day. 

    I feel like I need someone to dump cold water on me currently to get my butt moving most days. Even the most simple of tasks like making dinner or Shopping for toiletries for the house is daunting. Like who doesn’t like picking out a yummy new smelling shampoo? Apparently me these days. 
    stardustdreamsantera23
  • @meatballs37 thanks for your post, I do feel a lot better hearing your experiences. I noticed that there is a mental health thread a few threads below but like you, it does overwhelm me to try and go through it. I probably will though. I found Prozac to be a great fit for me too, I was on Zoloft for a year before but Prozac definitely worked better. I know exactly what you mean about tasks being daunting. I feel the same way about lots of things. My kids definitely deserve more than the bare minimum I've been doing.

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • @stardustdreams I’ve also been on Zoloft, it just made me sick. You are definitely not alone in how you feel. I often feel guilty with DD because I can barely get through an activity with her. I recently read an article on FB called something like, the unamed task. I tried to find it but can’t. Grrr. If I do, I will send you the link. But it basically describes exactly how we are feeling in a way that just gives a lot of clarity. Simple things like how scheduling an appointment is a large task, but they phrased it in a much more eloquent way. 
    stardustdreams
  • @marijaa333 @antera23 Now I really know nothing about the requirements of the ACA, it feels like those things should be covered. Of course I just went down an ACA rabbit hole and the only pregnancy mandates I could find were that they do cover you during pregnancy, they need to pay for gestational diabetes screening, and they need to pay for breast feeding supplies and supports. Not covering basic preventative care for pregnancy feels like a giant hole. Alas. But definitely talk to your doctor; they might be able to decipher for you! I completely understand the insurance frustration—it should really be so much more straightforward than it is, and sometimes when they deny something it feels so arbitrary.
    *TW*
    Me: 35 | DH: 39
    Married: January 2014
    TTC #1 since August 2015 -- Diagnosis: MFI (low count/motility), RPL
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    IF History:
    August 2016-June 2017 - 6 IUIs (clomid x 1, letrozole x 5), 6 BFNs. DH on clomid Oct. 2016-June 2017. July/August 2017 - IVF - 9 retrieved, 5 fertilized (ICSI), 3 to blast. 1 fresh transfer, 2 frozen. BFN. :/ October/November 2017 - FET #1 11/2. CP. :'( January 2018 - Second opinion and changed clinics February/March 2018 - IVF #2 - 19 retrieved, 15 mature, 13 fertilized (ICSI), 5 to blast. 1 fresh transfer, 4 frozen. CP. May/June 2018 - FET #2 5/30. Loss at 6 weeks. July 2018 - PGS testing = 2 normal embryos August/September 2018 - FET #3 cancelled (wonky hormones); September/October 2018 - FET #3 10/4 BFP EDD 6/22/19
    marijaa333antera23
  • @marijaa333 I'm having a similar issue with my insurance (says OB is 100% covered but we just got slapped with a HUGE bill). I can only assume I'll get the same answer you did if I call my insurance. Let us know if you uncover anything else!
    marijaa333antera23
  • @marijaa333 best of luck to you trying to understand your healthcare. We will see you again once you have the baby. 

    All kidding aside, my guess is while you’re insurance has gotten more expensive, the coverage has gotten less robust. This is completely antecdotal but that’s what happened to us with Aetna.

    The best person to speak with might be the company plan administrator at whichever employer you get your insurance through. They will probably hook you up with the person who acts as the sales person from the insurance company. I find that I get a different answer every time I call the call center to the degree that it isn’t even worth the call. 
    marijaa333antera23
  • @marijaa333 this might also be frustrating advice but I’ve found that sometimes it is helpful to call your insurance a couple times. The agent that you get isn’t always the best, but usually you’ll get around to a good one eventually. I always write down the name of the person I talked to so that if something ends up being different down the road, I have a record of who I talked to and when. Also, most insurance policies have what are called Clinical Policy Bulletins. These are not super easy to read but they explain what your insurance covers and why. This can be a helpful place to start and can be a document for discussion. These are also things your doctor looks at for billing so you can print them out and take them with you to your OB to ask them questions about billing. It probably won’t be easy and it’s a lot of work on your part, but this is what I’ve found to help
    me navigate costs. 
    antera23marijaa333
  • marijaa333marijaa333 member
    edited December 2018
    @ncm1919 this is Aetna too! Yes, I think you're absolutely right, that's exactly what seems to have happened. I will call our company rep...

    @wearyfuzzball  good luck and I will definitely keep you posted! Let us know if you find out anything different too!

    @antera23  @Bababatty  There should seriously be some legislation against misleading policy language. 100% coverage for prenatal that does not include labs and ultrasounds is nowhere near 100% coverage. Most of standard prenatal care in the year 2018 IS labs and occasionally ultrasounds. Sheesh. I need chocolate to calm down. 😂

  • @chrssyms, that’s great advice, thank you! Insurance is such a mystery to me and I think the population at large - you’re definitely not alone, @marijaa333.
    Married 25 May, 2013
    William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
    Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
    Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
    Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
    BabyFruit Ticker
    chrssymsmarijaa333vv826
  • @marijaa333 same thing is happening with my insurance. I called and she verified I have the exact same coverage as I did with my son, so she can’t explain why some stuff isn’t being covered. She gave me billing codes they cover and told me to ask my OB to recode and resubmit the claims. It’s a big pain. I also got a letter I have to pay in full for delivery at my 28 week appointment and that certainly never happened last time. 
    marijaa333
  • @meatballs37 @stardustdreams And anyone else feeling overwhelmed by the mental health thread, how can we make it better? 
    I tend to post those and I wasn’t trying to make it overwhelming. The opposite actually. I feel bad that you guys aren’t getting to benefit. 
    Hubby and Me
    Friends since 2008
    Started dating: July 1st, 2013
    Engaged: July 1st, 2014
    Married: July 1st, 2016
    DS born: July 8th, 2017
    Baby #2 Due: July 2nd, 2019 
    (we clearly have a problem with the month of July)
  • Good idea or bad. I was going to buy a nicer matching pj set for my son and baby boy on the way. I feel like I should wait because they will not wear them for another half a year and I don't really know the size my son will be. But so cute!

    Little guy born in September 2016
    Next little one due June 2019


  • I’m sorry to everyone struggling with their insurance. It’s so stressful other moms at my kids’ school are saying they seem to be having less coverage and not getting answers. I hope things get sorted for you ladies  <3

    @tuxielove93 aww it’s nothing at that you did. I personally find myself needing to work up the courage to talk about what’s been going on in the right channels (such as a therapist’s office) whereas if it comes up randomly somewhere else it’s easier. I will hopefully use it soon <3

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    marijaa333vv826
  • @marijaa333 insurance is the most frustrating thing. My insurance through DH’s work is terrible. I’m working on trying to get insurance through my work right now in hopes that it’ll be better.
    marijaa333
  • We have the same insurance as we did 2 years ago when we had DS. The Panorama test cost us $800 then. We were notified it costs $4500 this time. Umm what? Same practice, same insurance. My DH got his employer health advocate to help us sort it out.

    Also, so unhappy for my DH. I found out his uncle died via Facebook this morning. His cousin posted it late last night. My DH got a phone call this morning from his dad informing him of the death. FIL was pissed it was posted before all family was informed. We knew he was ill and on his deathbed, but she should have waited until this morning to post it.
    marijaa333
  • Oh, @catmommac, I’m so sorry. That sucks on all counts - I’m sorry for your family’s loss, but also for the poor delivery. No one should find out that way and you would hope people would have more sensitivity and common sense.
    Married 25 May, 2013
    William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
    Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
    Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
    Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @catmommac thats awful i am sorry for your loss. Even an anticipated loss should wait for public exposure until family is notified... thats an awful way to find out 
  • I just yelled at my neighbors kids and I do not regret it even a little bit. They've been screaming off and on for the last 3 hours for no apparent reason, my poor kid is trying to nap on the couch, my sick husband it trying to rest, and our door is paper thin. I normally let stuff go, but I have no patience for this pregnant. 
    Hubby and Me
    Friends since 2008
    Started dating: July 1st, 2013
    Engaged: July 1st, 2014
    Married: July 1st, 2016
    DS born: July 8th, 2017
    Baby #2 Due: July 2nd, 2019 
    (we clearly have a problem with the month of July)
  • @stardustdreams @meatballs37 I find myself feeling the same. It doesn’t make it easier when this time of year there is always SO much to do. 

    I was this way my first pregnancy as well and it switched a few few weeks into my second tri so I’m hoping the same thing happens. I’ve been forcing myself to keep up with my normal gym classes, and activities I’ve set up for my toddler hoping it keeps pushing me in a positive direction. 

    💛sending you guys love (and to anyone else struggling!) 
    stardustdreams
  • Check out the “Help me Out” thread on the May board if you need to shake your head or laugh 😂
  • @nmbrcrnchr1 Oh that gave me a good Saturday morning chuckle 😂
    nmbrcrnchr1
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