June 2019 Moms

Weekly randoms 12/10

13

Re: Weekly randoms 12/10

  • @harrierwife @ncm1919 I love your guys responses here. And in no way am I saying I disagree where the thoughts came from. Because trust me responding rudely is always tempting. I’m just trying to think about any new members who are lurking during their wait period and comin across that when it’s not a true reflection of the awesome ladies here! This was a hard day especially for some and and a hard hit for the group as a whole. 
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  • DcwtadaDcwtada member
    edited December 2018
    It has been an absolutely terrible day and emotions are high, I agree @cricket1688. I think it can be tough to judge a random one-off poster on being a potential troll/AW/drive-by or a good community member albeit board noob, I know the “read this first” can be almost considered like terms of service where you skim through and click agree to be done with it. 

    I dont know the best answer, I truly see both sides and as a previous FTM on here with more than one faux pas I cannot judge too harshly unless someone shows their ass. Then I will have fun, I have the warning messages to prove it lol. 

    ETA - I have a tendency to leave crucial words out 🙄
  • @tuxielove93 @Dcwtada I hear you ladies and agree to a degree. I love love the idea of GTKY to get the lurkers out! But I also totally know there’s only so much you can do. People either want in or they don’t care enough and in some cases don’t care enough to respect the rules. 
  • @meatballs37recommending babygaga is also a no-no. 
  • Hi ladies. A few of us have agreed that not only has today been very hard, but we are all pretty heartbroken for emerald. If you would like to, we (being members of the board) are going to light a candle (tonight, but really anytime in the next couple days) in memory of baby emerald and post the photo in her TW post. You can light a real candle in your home and post the photo or just post a GIF of a candle. Just posting this here and in PGAL for anyone who doesn’t check the TW thread again  after posting their condolences. 
    Hubby and Me
    Friends since 2008
    Started dating: July 1st, 2013
    Engaged: July 1st, 2014
    Married: July 1st, 2016
    R born: July 8th, 2017
    N born: June 30th, 2019
    Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
    (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
  • Gosh today ended up being kind of crappy. So first, I had something really sad happen at the end of my day of work. I just recently went back to a client I used to work for and I was trying to catch up with people I used to work with. I found out one of my previous clients who I really liked and admired passed away from pancreatic cancer a month ago. It crushed my heart. It took everything I had not to break down sobbing at my desk. So I waited and cried the whole commute home. Then I get back to see more bad news on our board. Ugh, hopefully tomorrow will be better. 
  • Fuck guys (pardon my french) I forgot my phone this morning so I was disconnected all day. then I open the bump and just sobbed. what a blow to our group. I'm only glad I missed the AW post. I usually don't get involved but today that may have brought my ugly side out.
  • It's been rough yesterday and today. Yesterday was the anniversary of my brother in law's passing, and a coworker suddenly passed away. Then today I log in and read the sad news. So heartbreaking. 
  • So much sad news today.

    DH got orders and they were a real blow. The Navy has fucked up and are trying to fill orders for June. Guess who is scheduled to move less than two weeks after her due date?  I really f*cking hate the Navy. 
  • @harrierwife girrrrrl with you there. Got a gift pack from Omaha Steaks once that I HOARDED for like a year. And then I realized it wasn't doing me any good in the freezer. So so so good.

    My BIL's family bought a cow this year (raised in their town in western NE) and his mom gave us a couple porterhouse steaks from it and we have ground beef or pot roast from it at my sister's house all the time and if you can imagine such a thing, it's better than Omaha Steaks.

    @amaren-2 that SUCKS. Dang. Do you know where you'll be moving to yet?
  • edited December 2018
    @amaren-2, girl, ALL the commiseration. Sometimes it feels like the Navy is actively looking to screw us all over. For what it’s worth, we’re being forced into an unwelcome and undiscussed year long geobach starting in March, so I’m right there with you on the shitiness. We can bitch about it together.
    Married 25 May, 2013
    William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
    Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
    Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
    Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @amaren-2 that’s awful!! I’m so sorry. 
  • @dntstpbelieveing I hope you didn't end up having to go back to the hospital. That sounds like such a shitty day. Hope today is better for you.

    @amaren-2 that's really bad timing to have to move. That seems like short notice too. But I don't know how those things work with the Navy. 
  • @KissMeImScottish oh they are. DH has been up for orders for over 6 months. He has put in order everywhere. But still trying to stay at the same area (NE Florida has a lot for his job). He has talked with varioud commands to take him as their first pick. Which they do. But his detailer is a dumbass and didnt give him any.  So he went needs of the Navy twice and still didn't get orders. (He is coming from a training commands so apparently it is hard to actually get orders because he can't leave earlier than contracted.)

    So his detailer said that he was going to recommend to big Navy to give him orders in this area because of all this bullshit. But big Navy wants him going to to VA.  Not Japan or Guam so that is good. But still a PITA. 

    It isn't the worst, but my hormones are telling me it is. I basically can't set up for baby at all and it is just a whole bunch of emotions. 
  • @amaren-2 - Girl. I'm so sorry. MH is a Marine, but I get it. 

    We're on a Navy base right now and MH's Navy friend was on the road from Lemoore to Mississippi with a 3-day-old newborn and a wife with a fresh c-section scar last year. The thought of it makes ME turn red with anger. 
  • @amaren-2 That sucks. A lot. For all of you Navy and army ladies. It would make me crazy to have to wait so long to get the orders and seriously?? They can’t do better than 2 weeks after your due date! 
    Hubby and Me
    Friends since 2008
    Started dating: July 1st, 2013
    Engaged: July 1st, 2014
    Married: July 1st, 2016
    R born: July 8th, 2017
    N born: June 30th, 2019
    Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
    (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
  • @amaren-2, yeah, I don’t know what’s up with detailers sucking recently. MH’s detailer when he got back from Afghanistan hooked him up and we’ve never had issues before like we’ve had with this dude, who refuses to do any more than the bare minimum, which is infuriating when you’re literally deployed during every availability window. Fifteen years, and this is the first time it’s been a major issue.

    Im glad you’re not headed to Guam or anything, but any move, especially when you have just had a baby, is beyond frustrating, especially because it effectively limits your ability to do even basic stuff like setting up a nursery before baby is born and establishing a pediatrician relationship. I seriously feel for you.

    You totally don’t have to tell me, but is your husband a submariner? I only ask because the bases you named (and the areas you mentioned) are sub heavy (King’s Bay, Norfolk, Guam, etc).
    Married 25 May, 2013
    William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
    Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
    Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
    Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @KissMeImScottish - The Marine Corps seems to be just as bad. MH's monitor called him two weeks ago with new orders for the Spring cycle and MH laughed. MH dropped his resignation papers last year. The monitor had no idea......like, how does a Monitor/Detailer not see that XYZ Service Member has a resignation date in the system prior to setting up orders? 

    I was in the Coast Guard for a while and I had the same experience. I really wonder how on earth our military manages to function on a daily basis. 
  • Got my Fabfitfun box last night!!!! So much fun, may have spent too much on the add-ons, and I may be keeping  a couple that were supposed to be gifts...

    Winter box (no add-ons)


  • @KissMeImScottish No, he is aviation.

    The funny part is he did have orders to Guam and I pitched a fit (I'm a bad military wife) we just found out I was pregnant and I told him no way, I'd see him in 2 yrs. Luckily someone in Guam wanted to stay in Guam so they then took  his orders away. 

    But you are right It has been a cluster lately. Apparently the detailers hands are tied a lot more now than the past. They cant actually do their job. In the past if DH put something as #1 and he talked with the command and asked them to pick him as #1 he got it. Apparently it has all changed and they don't even look at that anymore. So your picks mean nothing.

  • amaren-2amaren-2 member
    edited December 2018
    @harrierwife DH mentioned that it was related to the new top Navy  guy (I'm bad with titles) apparently in the past Navy ships are pretty reliable with where they go, and when they go and how long they stay. He wants to shake up the Navy (I'm sure the MC is also affected) so keep it fresh and make sure no one gets too comfortable. That is why detailers suck and can't do anything that you actually want to do.

    *Eye roll*
  • @amaren-2, I’m a bad military wife, too, then, because I basically did the same thing recently. He was looking like he was going to get orders to Hawaii and I was like, nope, we own our house, I’m pregnant, we have 3.5 kids and one with a speech delay in preschool. See you in 3 years. Even as it is, I still refused to move for 9 months to a year to New Hampshire (his ship is headed to shipyard, I’m opting out). Hopefully, the extra 9 months get us an extra 9 months to secure the orders where we want.

    That’s what he’s been saying about the orders situation as well (though his detailer is still a lazy sack of s***, and not just in my isolated opinion). They revamped the system recently and it’s just a total clusterf***. I’m over it. My mantra at this point is “five more years, five more years...”

    @harrierwife, that’s actually a little bit hilarious. Like, um, I appreciate that you’re trying to square me away, but dude, I’m out. Haha. Or rather, it would be funnier if it didn’t scare the crap out of me (even temporarily) that they either disregarded or informed separation papers. I wouldn’t put it past military bureaucracy these days (can you tell I’m just a little bit jaded? 😒)
    Married 25 May, 2013
    William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
    Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
    Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
    Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @kissmeimscottish - Well, honestly, both of our blood ran cold when the Monitor called because we wouldn't put it past the military to disregard sep papers either. MH is a pilot and the Navy/Marine Corps pilots are dropping like flies to go to the airlines - he was afraid that they were going to start extending contracts... the shortage is that bad. 

    MH is a Harrier pilot by trade and they're phasing it out for the JSF so he'd inevitably end up in (another!) ground billet in Bahrain. No. Way. Not when the airlines are falling over each other to recruit military pilots with their fancy pensions, paychecks and no deployments. 
  • @harrierwife, A. Men. Seriously. Right there with you. MH’s rate is at 60% manning. They’re actually having to extend shore orders to some because they don’t have enough instructors to train the next set of people. He wanted to move back to the Division Chief side of things (as opposed to his specialty rate) and they said no f-ing way. We actually are actively hoping he doesn’t put on Master Chief before he retires because the chances of them denying retirement are that much higher at that rate. So, blood running cold is a good way of putting it. If he wasn’t at 15.5 right now, we’d be running so fast to that six figure job with bonuses and paid time off and no deployments and normal working hours (you mean most people DON’T work 14 hour days 6 days a week and don’t get paid overtime?? 😂)
    Married 25 May, 2013
    William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
    Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
    Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
    Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • harrierwifeharrierwife member
    edited December 2018
    @KissMeImScottish - Seconding your A-MEN. Yeah, 15.5, you may as well stay.  :( MH will be right at 12 when he gets out - he's even thinking about NOT doing the Reserves and just walking away. It kind of breaks my heart because he was so excited to be a Marine, but the job has sucked his soul right out of him. 

    60% manning is deplorable. Many of MH's colleagues are sandbagging their promotions for very similar reasons as you guys. When we try to anticipate what might happen next, we think of what would make the most sense and then guess that the military will do the exact opposite. 
  • I take back what I said about yesterday’s nub theory after seeing today’s (face palm) I don’t really take it back but I cannot believe we’ve got another double poster for it today. I guess I see where you ladies were coming from now 🤣
  • Triple poster!!
    Married 25 May, 2013
    William Alexander born 18 September, 2015
    Harper Grace born 9 June, 2017
    Colton Miles born 9 June, 2017
    Bowen James due 19 June, 2019
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • And it was a triple post at that. 


  • Personally I don’t see the appeal. This is something I’d ask my husband or BFF to comment on if I was interested
  • So far for me the 2nd trimester= sass, so I couldn’t hold back in that post. I’ve been so good for so long. I just had to let out some steam. 
  • @ohheyitsb initiation complete. 
  • @amaren-2 @KissMeImScottish @harrierwife Can I sit with you guys? DH isn't military but we're in a similar we-may-move-but-maybe-not position (depending on how the season goes)...and if we do move, I'll have like two weeks' notice (at best) to go anywhere in the country where there is a college, and probably moving to a new house or apartment sight-unseen, any time from mid-March until the end of May (generally when hiring season starts wrapping up, and my EDD is June 25). We've briefly talked about me staying put to deliver here, if he winds up in a new job later in the spring than earlier, but that freaks me out too because he very well could miss the delivery and with any luck, this is a first-and-only (I want to adopt #2). I'm just kind of pretending the world ends in March because anything after that is a huge question mark.

    @amaren-2 for whatever it's worth, it isn't Florida but the Norfolk/Virginia Beach area is GREAT. (If we had our druthers, that's right about where we'd move.) DH's grandparents live there (his grandpa was an Orion pilot and flight instructor for the Navy) and we visit whenever we can, a few times a year. TONS of support there for military families. Doesn't make it any easier to move with a newborn, that's for dang sure, but it's at least a nice place to go.
  • @harrierwife my husband left active duty after 12 years back in 2015 but stayed in the reserves for an eventual retirement and health insurance. SO worth it! He's also a Marine. He's part of an IMA billet that does environmental inspections for other units around the country and abroad. Its super flexible and he does a lot of the work at home actually. He physical drills in person only 3-4 times a year vs every month. 

    I'm a teacher, he's now a sheriff's deputy and even with those great benefits packages $220/month for Tricare was too good to pass up! It would cost either of us about $1000/month to insure the family. Added bonus...the county he works for takes their employer contribution ($915/month) and puts it in an HRA forus so we actually pay NOTHING for insurance. We pay our premiums for Tricare and any OOP expenses with that HRA and it's amazing. It's going to be nice into retirement as well to never have to worry about medical or dental expenses...like...ever!

    BabyFruit Ticker



  • @Erin1510 - Yeah, definite benefits to getting a retirement, but the MCRIP program he qualifies for is notorious for booting guys at 17/18 years. He'd go Navy or another branch, but it would require extensive training away from home on a new platform. Frankly, the job opportunities he's facing pay so well that the Tricare/Retirement isn't worth his aggravation. Poor guy is SO over the military. Who knows, though - he may change his mind! I'm leaving this decision entirely up to him - I'll support him either way. Just some things you can't put a price on...



    Also, I just cried watching a stroller/car seat review. SO MANY FEELS. 
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