Hahah @okayestmom12 I feel like that happens to so many people!
Scheduled induction with DD at 41w5d- I was so ready to be done. After 20 hours of labor which included a foley balloon. Pitocin and an epidural I finally got to 10, pushed 1 time and she dropped her heart rate too low- tons of people in the room and needed a c/s after that!
I was induced at 5:00 am.. was given pitocin. Around 9:30, the OB came in and broke my water. I think it was around 11 am or so that I got my epidural, but that was only because the doctor said I could, I remember thinking it was amazing that I could have one when I really hadn't felt that much pain.. silly me. I wish I would've waited, because I labored in total for 21 hours. I finally got to 10 cm around 9:00 pm that night, and pushed for 3 hours. I was blacking out and throwing up between pushes, spiked a fever and begged my OB for a c-section at that point. Apparently she was stuck and no matter how hard I pushed she just wasn't coming out. DD was born at 12:38 am. I'll be having a repeat c this time.
I won’t share my whole tale but in the “things you don’t know happen” department, I had no idea how much vomiting would be involved. I mean, a lot. For me, it was from the foley insertion to get the induction started, on and off all the way until right before the pushing nearly 24 hours later. I guess that doesn’t really scream magic of childbirth huh?! Ha
@sjnsjnsjn and here I was trying to be nice to the FTMs who wanted to go unmedicated and not tell them how much vomit was involved. But I guess it's good warning for the SO's and DH's because my DH was definitely in the splash zone a few times the poor guy. He's probably going to be prepared this time.
@sjnsjnsjn well now I don't feel so alone anymore. I thought it was just unique and special torture for me choosing unmedicated birth. Totally doing the same thing again!
I knew about potential pooping, I had no idea about puking.
I guess I’m glad to be warned, but yikes. Is there any bodily fluid or substance that doesn’t make it out of your body during labor?? Christ Allmighty.
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
I'd heard about puking but I didn't realize it was so common. Hopefully my lack of pregnancy puking doesn't translate to tons in labour.
Thank you all for sharing, seriously. I'm sorry if anyone is getting freaked out but I am so happy to know all these things are possible ahead of time.
I had bronchitis in labor with DS (pregnancy #2). So I was leaking fluid, hacking stuff up, leaking from the nose, puking, peeing.... So glamorous. I felt like I was just super weak both times, but DH was always super impressed with my strength and how I handled everything.
@megpants209 - Nothing you do will increase your chances of not pooping unfortunately (or so I've been told)
Luckily, if you do poop, it's super common and the nurses deal with it ASAP.
FWIW I didn’t know I had pooped until my husband started giggling. Considering he’d been silently sobbing for the past 4 hours, I wasn’t even embarrassed lol
I love all these stories. Thanks so much for everyone sharing!!!! I am trying to prepare myself to not have a birth that goes according to ~plan~ and all these stories that are different, but still had a happy ending, are gold
@megpants209 honestly, pooping will be the least of your worries. Your whole body is turning inside out (my god- if you WATCH your vulva contort and stretch into a giant dome for baby’s exit, you’ll be in shock, it’s unreal, but seriously there’s no room for shame while all eyes are watching that show.)
@kayjay44 tell me more about this massage script. From your OB? Any requirement/reason? Can you go anywhere? Also, are support belts really that helpful? Are they comfortable? Do they feel tighter than over-belly maternity pants? Tell me more. Im getting a lot of lowww pelvic pressure/pain, like down to my labia. I didn’t feel like this with first pg but did have similar sensation postpartum.
@becks_726 pregnancy puking does not have any relationship with labor puking. First baby and this baby no morning sickness. Unmedicated birth nonstop vomiting. I had thought it had to do with going med free that it was my body’s response to the pain and changes. For me the peanut ball they tell you to put in between your legs made vomiting worse.
What is a uterine massage? They do it after you give birth? Reading all these birth stories i think I'm more nervous. I think I've been blocking it out this whole time
Yes they rub your stomach after you give birth which basically causes contractions all over again. It’s awful. It helps to prevent hemorrhaging. I think it’s better to know it’s coming.... to find out when you think youre done after your marathon is cruel.
I was worried about puking because I used to get period cramps so bad that I threw up every month. Lucky, I haven't ever puked during labor (3 unmedicated for me). I only pooped while pushing during the first one, but probably because I didn't push for very long with the others. My advice, FWIW, make sure your partner knows that it is possible so they aren't surprised, and if you are worried about it, limit the friends and family you let in the room. The doctors and nurses will be professional and discreet, they've seen it all before. It isn't anything to be embarrassed about.
@ssag I got a support belt off amazon and I think it really is helping with my back and hip pain during the day. I wear it when I know I’ll be walking a lot since itting it isn’t so comfortable in it. It is definitely tighter than over the belly maternity pants.
Uterine massages reminded me of those horrible postpartum contractions/cramping that happens. I remember silent screaming when BF DS because the cramping was so bad. Eventually I learned to sit on an ice pack and have a heating pad on my stomach while BF in the early days.
@ssag - it’s easy to get a prescription - you just have to ask. They’ll usually write it open ended. You can go anywhere that takes your insurance. If you have an FSA/HSA, you can use that, too.
As for the compression thing, I am using compression tops that are more like spanx than the band on maternity pants. I was given a support belt too but haven’t tried it. You can wear it outside your pants at home but you’re supposed to be able to wear it under things too. It really helps me. My pelvis and hips hurt less and I sleep better because I’m not hurting from the day.
@jgrodo - they do it after the epi has worn off usually unless they give you PP pitocin. TBH, nursing does the same thing, so I just try to nurse a ton right away to help because it also releases oxytocin which helps with the pain.
I guess the uterine massage wasn’t bad for me bc I don’t remember it - which means I’ll have a bad time this go round probably! I known they pushed around and did throughout my hospital stay to feel things and it was probably uncomfortable, but I don’t remember it being horrible.
One thing that freaked me out was after delivery, they need you to pee to empty your bladder. Well I couldn’t go - I didn’t have feeling in bladder back yet. They said they’d have to recath me and I was like, you will NOT. So I they gave me another 5-10 minutes and I didn’t get off the toilet until I could pee. I pushed on my bladder and everything. I was not going to let them stick that in me once I could feel again. Nope.
I only knew I had pooped on the table bc my DH kept clearing his throat and looking uncomfortable - I said what’s the problem and he said well you’re a mess down there and it smells lol so I said GET THE DAMN NURSE TO CLEAN ME THEN hahaha
Hi ladies! Thanks for sharing all of your stories, but I’m going to change the subject. Recently, my husband informed me that he is feeling a bit trapped, and he is worried that his whole identity is going to wrapped up with the babe. While I understand his feelings, it has left me feeling a bit depressed and I can’t seem to shake it. I’m 28 weeks and up until this point I was having a decent pregnancy. I don’t know that there is anything I can do for DH and his feeing, but now I’m suffering too. I don’t know if it’s normal for FTD’s to go through this or not. Any words of advice.
@nataliezbrungart - My DH kind of went off the deep end the other way and started working 100 hour plus weeks, often staying up for days at a time because he thought he wasn’t doing enough to support our growing family. It was tough, but we got through it with lots of talking and it did get better once the baby arrived.
TBH - our lives didn’t change much. Sure, we don’t go to dinner on weeknights but we usually have a night or two child free each month thanks to my parents and we take our kids everywhere from a young age. We’re parents, but we’re still very much ourselves. We still drink too much on occasion, stay up too late, watch hilariously inappropriate stuff on TV, and we make sure we have at least an hour of down time most days. I’m still not sure who let us have kids because we at 30 and 34 still don’t really feel like grown ups.
@nataliezbrungart Sounds pretty normal to me. DH definitely had some concerns about how to establish himself as a dad, and what that looked like without losing himself. He went off the deep end for the first couple months with going "out with the guys" or going to a bar quite a bit too often. I pretty much let him do his own thing, only some slight nagging about it. He figured it out pretty quickly that he could do both, be a guy and a dad. But he generally prefers being a dad these days.
@nataliezbrungart- I think that’s a normal concern/realization for any FTM or FTD. I don’t think that’s on you to guide him through though. I’d say you’re pretty full up with how this mega life change is affecting you!
@nataliezbrungart - Sounds normal for anyone about to become a parent. It is something that will rock your world but frankly, that's pretty temporary. Sure you'll be dealing with sleep deprivation and trying to function but otherwise, we carried on like we did before becoming parents, just with an added person in tow. You'll get into a rhythm, figure out a groove, and still be YOU but with a tiny person living with you now.
As a side note, my DH & I have made it a point to have at least 1 date night per month and to make sure our kids have early bedtimes (this is huge because then we get multiple hours with each other/ to ourselves every night). Carving out time for one another and for yourself is important.
@nataliezbrungart I think my DH is going through it now with our three year old! He took to being a dad right away and it was great but now I feel like all I hear from is "I never have alone time" "I can never just relax" and general griping about our three year old and his tantrums/whining/whatever. I'm like get your sh*t together man!
Piggy backing off of @nataliezbrungart's Q, is it realistic to think that we will be able to carve out alone time sooner or later? Like a weekly yoga class or something like that? With a year long mat leave I feel like time out of the house (and probably without LO) will be a pretty high priority for my mental health and I'd like to offer H the same. I know couple time is going to take a bit longer for us because we don't have family nearby.
@becks_726 so everyone’s experience is different and every baby is different. Because my child did not sleep through the night until 13 months old, I did not feel comfortable going out at night, getting a babysitter until my child was sleeping through the night. In two weeks will be the first time I will have a babysitter put him down for bed. Hoping that this little baby will be different and I can stick with my plan of me and DH going on our first post baby date on May 5th for Cinco de Mayo to have dinner and drinks.
@becks_726- We make a point of each having nights out (on our own, with friends, whatever). My yoga has suffered because the weekends are the best time for that but also the most time I get with my DS, so I don’t do that as much as i’d like. We definitely both support each other taking breaks, including weekends away (although it took a while to start that), but like someone else said, we also make sure to have a monthly-ish date night even though sitters are expensive. It’s worth it. . We also have taken two just-us four-day vacations— one when my son was 9mos and one when he was 1.5 years old — relying on the kindness of DS’ grandparents, and boy are those rejuvenating in every way!
@becks_726 totally depends on what you prioritize and who your kid is. DS slept well pretty early on (STTN at 8 months), but my mom was comfortable keeping him overnight even when he woke up. Even when he wasn’t sleeping well, we prioritized date nights and time alone. I’ve gotten worse about prioritizing time to myself since my husband and I started working opposite schedules because we only get one night a week together. After this baby is born I’m planning to ask my mom to come over once a week for a few hours so I can do things on my own.
My my first solo trip out after DS was born was like 2 days after he was born. I fed him, he and DH laid down for a nap, and I waddled around target, drank my Starbucks when it was still hot, and ate truffles for 30 minutes. It was heavenly. It felt good to be alone and silent and not touched for a little bit!
Re: Ask a STM week of Nov. 19
Scheduled induction with DD at 41w5d- I was so ready to be done. After 20
hours of labor which included a foley balloon. Pitocin and an epidural I finally got to 10, pushed 1 time and she dropped her heart rate too low- tons of people in the room and needed a c/s after that!
Plus side, I didn't poop on the table. Which I'm really fucking proud of for some reason...
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
ETA: We really aren’t selling it, are we?!
I guess I’m glad to be warned, but yikes. Is there any bodily fluid or substance that doesn’t make it out of your body during labor?? Christ Allmighty.
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
Thank you all for sharing, seriously. I'm sorry if anyone is getting freaked out but I am so happy to know all these things are possible ahead of time.
@megpants209 - Nothing you do will increase your chances of not pooping unfortunately (or so I've been told)
Luckily, if you do poop, it's super common and the nurses deal with it ASAP.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
I am trying to prepare myself to not have a birth that goes according to ~plan~ and all these stories that are different, but still had a happy ending, are gold
@kayjay44 tell me more about this massage script. From your OB? Any requirement/reason? Can you go anywhere?
Also, are support belts really that helpful? Are they comfortable? Do they feel tighter than over-belly maternity pants? Tell me more.
Im getting a lot of lowww pelvic pressure/pain, like down to my labia. I didn’t feel like this with first pg but did have similar sensation postpartum.
to find out when you think youre done after your marathon is cruel.
My advice, FWIW, make sure your partner knows that it is possible so they aren't surprised, and if you are worried about it, limit the friends and family you let in the room. The doctors and nurses will be professional and discreet, they've seen it all before. It isn't anything to be embarrassed about.
As for the compression thing, I am using compression tops that are more like spanx than the band on maternity pants. I was given a support belt too but haven’t tried it. You can wear it outside your pants at home but you’re supposed to be able to wear it under things too. It really helps me. My pelvis and hips hurt less and I sleep better because I’m not hurting from the day.
@jgrodo - they do it after the epi has worn off usually unless they give you PP pitocin. TBH, nursing does the same thing, so I just try to nurse a ton right away to help because it also releases oxytocin which helps with the pain.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
One thing that freaked me out was after delivery, they need you to pee to empty your bladder. Well I couldn’t go - I didn’t have feeling in bladder back yet. They said they’d have to recath me and I was like, you will NOT. So I they gave me another 5-10 minutes and I didn’t get off the toilet until I could pee. I pushed on my bladder and everything. I was not going to let them stick that in me once I could feel again. Nope.
TBH - our lives didn’t change much. Sure, we don’t go to dinner on weeknights but we usually have a night or two child free each month thanks to my parents and we take our kids everywhere from a young age. We’re parents, but we’re still very much ourselves. We still drink too much on occasion, stay up too late, watch hilariously inappropriate stuff on TV, and we make sure we have at least an hour of down time most days. I’m still not sure who let us have kids because we at 30 and 34 still don’t really feel like grown ups.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
As a side note, my DH & I have made it a point to have at least 1 date night per month and to make sure our kids have early bedtimes (this is huge because then we get multiple hours with each other/ to ourselves every night). Carving out time for one another and for yourself is important.
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
My my first solo trip out after DS was born was like 2 days after he was born. I fed him, he and DH laid down for a nap, and I waddled around target, drank my Starbucks when it was still hot, and ate truffles for 30 minutes. It was heavenly. It felt good to be alone and silent and not touched for a little bit!