Ask a STM week of Nov. 19

kayjay44

@becks_726 - we sleep trained (Sleep Easy method) at 4ish months and I think bedtime for the kids was 7ish at that time. My kids were relatively easy to sleep train and we either got lucky or did it just right, so they were STTN (7pm to 6 am) relatively early on. That gave us a few hours every night before we went to bed and it was so nice. Now, DD bedtime is 9 pm and DS is 8 pm, so there's less of that. 

As for getting out of the house on mat leave, I made it a point to leave the house daily, even if it was just a walk or going out to a coffee shop. I'm a big bring your kid everywhere (that's appropriate) from an early age person so they just grow up going to restaurants and what not. I have other friends who refuse to take their kids out to eat until they are 5+. You kind of have to do what feels right and you make it up as you go. Target is my favorite place to go and walk the aisles mid-day with a new baby because everyone else is there with kids pretty much. They also let you nurse in the fitting rooms if you're not comfortable nursing in public.

agea

@kayjay44 just bought the blanqi support tank on Black Friday sale... hope it's life changing! I need some back support and hoping this helps.

kayjay44

@ssag - my only regret is not buying them sooner!

kdrn913

@BourbonBiscuits I kind of forgot about that cramping with bf-that was not fun. 

Might have to check out blanqi today although I should not be spending any more money right now- 

jgrodo

Totally random questions- have you guys tried the magnetic onsies?  This may be a complete duh question but does everyone bleed for a while after birth regardless of v-bac or cs?

lzzfrancisco

@jgrodo I bled like a normal/light period after birth because I had a D&C to remove my placenta. 

BourbonBiscuits

@jgrodo yeah there’s a ton of junk built up in there that needs to come out. I would imagine the lightest bleeding would be due to a d&c (like @izzfrancisco said). 

okayestmom12

@becks_726 - pretty sure I made my first trip out by 3 weeks. Sure it was just to Target for a latte at Starbucks and some diapers but it was necessary and welcomed. I’d say our first date was an afternoon lunch at about 6 weeks. All that to say, it’s absolutely do-able. 

@jgrodo - everyone bleeds. I’ve had 2 c-sections and have bled (not super heavy) for 4 weeks each time. 

kayjay44

TBH, my problem was peeing, not bleeding. If you have a cough/cold when your LO is born, your bladder control will be shit and you will pee your pants. 

disneybaby84

I think some quantity of bleeding is normal. Most women I have heard from experieced anywhere froma few days of bleeding to a couple of weeks.

megpants209

When do my boobs and nipples change? Every morning I look at them and have no clue how milk actually gets out. I clearly did not pay attention in whatever high school class taught that. Feel free to facepalm me now. 

BourbonBiscuits

@megpants209 I felt the same way before my first! It kind of comes spraying out multiple locations in your actual nipple. The first time I saw it happen (which was when I was pumping) it freaked me the hell out. My nipples were inverted before BF DS, but he pulled them out a good amount with the help of a nipple shield for the first few days. In terms of milk coming in/boobs changing, my milk came in 2 or 3 days after DS was born. I woke up and literally felt like boulders were strapped to my chest. It happened really quickly for me

lzzfrancisco

I'll second everything @BourbonBiscuits said. Seeing the milk com out the first time I could hand express was wild!!
I got a low grade fever when my milk came in, too. It finally happened when I took my first (much needed) nap post partum. I remember waking up shivering and in pain, but felt relief when I pumped. I did a lot of pumping the first 2 weeks due to a tongue tie. 

megpants209

Oh thank goodness. I have been silently judging myself for so long on this one!

kayjay44

@megpants209 - I had no idea how the milk came out until I saw myself leaking. The system failed us and that’s not our fault 

Seriously, just wait for the first time you’re engorged and it just starts shooting out. It’s crazy. 

megpants209

@kayjay44 the system failed us! Exactly

I asked my H if he knew since he’s a paramedic and he looked at me like I was insane and said “there are milk ducts.” Yes THAT I know but you clearly don’t get my confusion there are no visible holes for liquid to come out of! You guys always make me feel better.  

kayjay44

Seriously, I assumed it was one hole until I saw it spraying out like a sprinkler. I think the fact that bottle nipples only have one hole didn’t help my understanding. 

bellebaby221

I was surprised the first time a warm shower caused a let down and I was spraying milk everywhere!

megpants209

@kayjay44 I think you’re right, I’ve been thinking at some point boobs become more bottle nipple-ish. 

becks_726

I had no clue about the multiple holes thing until sometime in the past few months. Things suddenly made a lot more sense! 

etnyah

So... pretty much like a cow

I have a feeling breastfeeding will make me feel very bovine. 

BourbonBiscuits

I will never forget my second visit to the LC, DS was less than a week old and I had a clogged milk duct (that turned into mastitis, but that’s another story for another day). I was so engorged she compared trying to latch to sucking on a bowling ball. Girlfriend straight up milked me in the lactation room and Mary, mother of god, it was the greatest feeling of my life. My husband was horrified. Just enough to soften things up so DS could latch. I’ll never forget her sweet angelic hands. 

ETA so yes, @grebretso, it’s all very bovine. I even felt like a cow when in labor because all the noises that felt good were moan-y/vaguely moo-ey lol

kdrn913

everything about breastfeeding was seriously so foreign to me, I’m not sure anything could have prepared me for that. The first time dd unlatched while eating and sprayed milk allover her face  or just watching the other side let down and spray everywhere - so weird 

agea

Ah this is great. Breastfeeding is the coolest. I mean it’s weird, can be hard and painful, but such an awesome phenomenon.

jgrodo

@megpants209 I was totally thinking the same thing

jgrodo

@kayjay44 really? Did that last for a while?

kayjay44

@jgrodo - the peeing? It was only so bad because I had bronchitis and was coughing constantly. But your bladder control does go down hill post kids no matter how much you kegel (but it comes back quicker with kegels)

jgrodo

@kayjay44 yah, sorry my question wasn't clear. Ahh, good to know. I was thinking it would just got back to normal once he was out, doah wishful thinking . Is it something you end up needing to do PT for ?

ginger1228

My bladder control wasn’t an issue after DD (fingers crossed for this time too), but when I had to poop, I had to GO. It went back to normal after a few weeks or so, thank goodness. 

kayjay44

@jgrodo - not after 1 or 2 (it gets progressively worse with each kid), but I may after this one  Children ruins your body (and not in the ways you would think like stretch marks - those are nothing). 

cas060

I just got a few good chuckles (thought I posted this the other day but apparently it didn't post) re breastmilk.  DHs reaction is gonna be priceless! Im leaving him in the dark til then.

jgrodo

kayjay44 said:

@jgrodo - not after 1 or 2 (it gets progressively worse with each kid), but I may after this one  Children ruins your body (and not in the ways you would think like stretch marks - those are nothing). 

Doah! 

BourbonBiscuits

@cass06_07 just wait until the first time you have sex and milk squirts in his face. That Look on my husbands face will be forever seared on my memory. One of the funniest things ever. 

etnyah

@BourbonBiscuits Oh. My. God.

cas060

hmmmm @BourbonBiscuits ... DH might like that, rofl.  He asked me what the f an item at buybuybaby was (double breast pump in a pumping bra), I told him what it was.. and his response "maybe i've been watching the wrong porn"...  bahahahah

ohsunnydays

@BourbonBiscuits ... wut. 

kayjay44

@BourbonBiscuits - it’s why I can’t be on top until my supply is under control (as we learned with DD)   that’s probably the most bizarre thing that’s happened in our sex life. 

okayestmom12

kayjay44 said:

@BourbonBiscuits - it’s why I can’t be on top until my supply is under control (as we learned with DD)   that’s probably the most bizarre thing that’s happened in our sex life. 

Oh gosh - SAME!  The other day DH said "I gotta get this time in now" for this very reason 

okayestmom12

Saw this and thought of you all 😀

thechickendance

I promise I'm not changing the topic    but I do have a question! 
The blankets and quilts that people make for you, since newborns can't have bedding, what do you do with them?