Ask a STM week of Nov. 19

disneybaby84

FTMs asking STMs any and all questions!

becks_726

STMs, when you went in to labour, what was the length of time between knowing that you were in labour and going to the hospital? And do you feel you went to the hospital early or later than average? Thanks! 

ginger1228

@becks_726

So the first time I went to the hospital was when my contractions lasted less than 5 minutes, were a minute long, and this lasted more than two hours. I got up and walked around bc sometimes that makes them go away. This time they didn’t, so we went. Well I was only dilated to a 1 (and stayed the same after walking the halls of the hospital for an hour) and they said I could stay (bc I was still contracting) or go home. I chose to go home bc I live within walking distance of the hospital so would prefer to labor at home as long as possible. 

That was Tuesday night. Starting Wednesday I had horrible contractions that were anywhere between 3-18 minutes. I had an OB appointment that day and it was awful - still having contractions that felt like I was being ripped apart, but I still was not dilating. So my dr set up an induction for Friday (EDD was following Monday) but assumed I would probably already have the baby. 

So this continues and I even called L&D Thursday night bc I couldn’t take the pain anymore. They told me bc my contractions weren’t regular (bc they were still between 3-8 minutes) to stay home and wait until induction time or they became regular. 

Well at like 1am Friday morning I felt a plop and it was my mucus plug (it was huge - prob the entire thing) and it scared the heck out of me so we went to the hospital and I was finally a 5, so they kept me. But my contractions still weren’t regular so they gave me pitocin and she was born about 5-6 hours later. So my body is stupid and my contractions probably never would have become regular had I not gone in. 

Tl;dr: I I had warning but also went in too early. I think as a FTM you’ll probably err on the side of early bc you don’t know how bad the contractions get when it’s real. This time I’ll wait longer bc the contractions I had the first time I went in were nothing compared to what started the following day. 

BourbonBiscuits

So I ended up being induced, so this might not really answer your question. BUT. When I was pregnant with DS I was having contractions that (I thought) were super painful - 1 min long, 5 mins apart for 1 hour - that didn’t go away with walking or anything. Our hospital at that point had a nurses line you called before going in and the nurses kept saying no stay home it hasn’t been long enough yet and every single night for 2 weeks the contractions just stopped all of a sudden. I had appointments and was dilating, so my doctors kept saying there was no way I’d make it to the induction date but I definitely did. I lost my mucus plug, pooped my brains out, felt the lightening where I didn’t feel pregnant any more, all that early labor jazz. And it still wasn’t “real” labor. I cried every single night for 2 weeks when the contractions stopped because I just felt so disappointed in my body. In hindsight, I wish I’d just gone on with my day and tried to work through it without getting my hopes up because once the real contractions started (granted they were pitocin contractions, so stronger than regular ones), there was a marked difference.  

I guess all all that is to say that if there is an on call/nurses line you have access to, call them before you go in. And if you can talk or walk through contractions, they probably aren’t strong enough for you to go in yet. 

disneybaby84

@becks_726 so on the exact day I turned 39 weeks, my water broke at 1 am. I was not dilated, I did not experience contractions, until after I had spent slightly over an hour collecting things to take to the hospital, because you have to go to the hospital once your water breaks. My contractions did not even come in strong until I had been at the hospital for about 2 hours. I had 33 hours of labor. 

hnbergeron

Sorry to change hears but I have a question about the tdap injection. I gotine Wednesday. My arm was sore as expected for a few days. Last night I noticed I have a lump where the injectiion was and it has been itching like crazy. Is this normal? I really am trying to avoid calling in because I'm still salty about my leave situation

bellebaby221

@hnbergeron I was told a lump forming is normal. My nurse massaged the heck out of my injection site so thankfully I didn't end up with one. If it's itchy though it might be worth a call to the nurse line to ask if that's normal. Itching can mean reaction but not always. 

okayestmom12

disneybaby84 said:

@becks_726 so on the exact day I turned 39 weeks, my water broke at 1 am. I was not dilated, I did not experience contractions, until after I had spent slightly over an hour collecting things to take to the hospital, because you have to go to the hospital once your water breaks. My contractions did not even come in strong until I had been at the hospital for about 2 hours. I had 33 hours of labor. 

Super similar to my second kiddo. Planned c-section for 7 am at 39w. Water broke at 2ish am that very day. 

I showered, packed some some last minute stuff, waited for my mom to come stay with DD, then left. Got to the hospital probably around 4. Never felt contractions between water breaking and having my c/s around 5:30. 

bww_0331

My water broke at 7pm two days before my due date without having contractions. I gathered belongings and we went to the hospital about an hour later. I didn’t feel contractions until 9pm or so when I started walking the halls. Then I got stuck in a hospital bed to get blood drawn and that took almost an hour (WHY!) and that is when shit got real. I honestly don’t remember a lot from there. DS was SO low in my pelvis that the worst part was being forced to sit. A failed epidural and then another. Once I got some other pain medication I was almost dilated to a 10. They let me rest for around an hour to let baby drop more. I started pushing at 5am and DS was born at 6am. 

kdrn913

@hnbergeron I didn’t have a lump but mine was definitely itchy. I think it’s normal, I didn’t call about it and it went away pretty quickly 

danixbanani24

Induced here too - has zero contractions or dilating prior to the induction date.  They had to break my water too.  I have a weird “momtuition” that this one is gonna be totally different like water breaking at home and two weeks early lol

cas060

I am not ready for these stories  .  Maybe ill come back after babys born, lol

kayjay44

@becks_726 -
I had prodromal labor (also called false labor) for weeks both times - 4 weeks with DD and 6 weeks with DS. DD was born at 38 weeks and DS was born at 37 weeks. I was group B strep positive both times and I'm allergic to the common antibiotics, so I have to have a special course of antibiotics that take longer so it's important I get to the hospital with time to do that (so we don't end up needing to stay longer).

With DD, I had what seemed like the real deal contractions for hours. They stopped around 2 am completely. I cried myself to sleep because I was so sick of false alarms. I woke up to pee at 3 and my water broke on the toilet. We got to the hospital at 3:30 AM and DD was in my arms 5 hours later. The contractions pretty quickly after being admitted were unbearable - I had horrific back labor and was blacking out from the pain. I got some IV drugs and they put in the epidural (I have scoliosis, so it's not easy, either). It was only working on half my body, so the nurse was going out to page the anesthesiologist to fix that when I shouted I had to push as she was leaving. She said "no way", checked me, and lo and behold this baby was coming. DD was born sunny-side up (which isn't how it's supposed to go) after less than 30 minutes of pushing.

With DS, I had spent the day at the splash park and a birthday party. I had contractions all day but wasn't progressing. When we got home from the birthday party around 6 or 7, I had diarrhea and HAD to shower for no real reason. While in the shower, I threw up and my water sort of broke (was way different than it was with DD since DS head was so large, it kept the fluid from leaking). We called my parents,  started getting ready (since we had NOTHING packed), fed the dogs, dropped DD off at our friend's house (so my parents could pick her up later) and got to the hospital around 10 PM. Because DS's head was so big and it kept my water from breaking, they had to keep pushing him up to essentially rebreak my water because the contractions aren't very effective with all that fluid in there. I took multiple showers and walked the halls. Finally, I started begging for an epidural just before noon - little did I know, I was in transition. The anesthesiologist couldn't get it placed (with 6 punctures) and I had to push, so we abandoned that. DS was born with 15 minutes of pushing. Within 5 minutes of being born he latched and was my super eater.

FWIW, when this is happening, it's all kind of surreal - even looking back, it's like I am watching myself go through it rather than going through it myself, if that makes sense. Your body knows what to do and kind of just takes over - you're kind of just along for the ride.

ThePax89

@becks_726 so I never knew I was in labor. Baby #1, I ended up getting induced but called the midwife in false labor a few times. Even went into l&d. Baby #2, I would go into false labor every day for over 10 days before I chose induction. With the amount of contractions I was having, even my midwives felt it was real. I plan on getting induced this time because I have no interest in laboring at home or in the car. 

sjnsjnsjn

@cass06_07- Ha, I won’t tell mine then.  FWIW, we’re here to tell about it and decided to do it again, so ya know, factor that in...

bellebaby221

Recommend your compression nursing tanks please!

becks_726

Thank you all for sharing your stories! I'm really loving personal accounts of labour right now. 

eggsandwich2019

Same here, keep those birth stories coming, I feel like the more diverse the birth stories the more calm it makes me feel!

ginger1228

Ditto what @kayjay44 said. Your body just kind of does it’s thing. I had awful contractions from Tuesday night until I went in Friday morning and some back labor thrown in and was miserable. But now I’m like, eh whatever. I kind of forgot that part when I think how my actual delivery went (I had a really easy labor/delivery once the epi was placed). Just remember that you will be through it! 
And like @sjnsjnsjn said - were all here doing it again so must not have been too bad. 

I had my teeth professionally whitened years ago and it fucking hurt. I always joke that I will never do it again, but I’ll have another baby, so there’s that. 

kayjay44

I'm happy to answer any questions about mine if anyone is curious/has specific questions. Once you have been through it, you basically learn that TMI doesn't exist when it comes to birth.

@bellebaby221 - The ones I have aren't made anymore it looks like. These look similar: https://www.target.com/p/medela-174-women-s-slimming-nursing-cami-with-removable-pads/-/A-51623640?preselect=53349666#lnk=sametab. I liked that it's light compression. I also bought PP leggings this time which have compression.

thechickendance

Also a huge fan of hearing the birth stories!  

For TTMs if you've experienced both ( @kayjay44 your synopsis sounds like you can answer)   how would you compare epidural vs nonepidural labor?  

kayjay44

@thechickendance - I'm not a good one to ask - the epi didn't work right the first time and only one side was numb. I felt EVERYTHING on the the other side/half. And I can tell you, a crowning sunny-side up baby hurts WAY more than a crowning face down baby (babies are supposed to be born face down).

My honest advice? If you want one or think you will, get it early (but not too early). Don't wait like I do until you're hitting transition . Once it's time to push, you aren't going to care if it hurts because your body is making you push whether it hurts or not. Transition is honestly the WORST part of being in labor and it's when I hit my breaking point - I'm hoping to just push through it this time or get some IV meds if I absolutely need something to take the edge off.

Funny story - I've always been clear that DH needs to make sure I'm sure I want an intervention. When it came to getting my epidural the second time, DH asks "Are you sure?" My response? "I'll fucking kill you."   

danixbanani24

For me - actual labor wasn’t that bad.  What came after (read with caution) was horrendous pain.

my placenta wouldn’t come out on its own - after two hours of waiting and massaging my doctor went shoulder deep (no I’m not kidding) inside of me to manually remove it.  I had no epidural going anymore - it was the worst most excruciating thing I’ve ever dealt with.  My mother had to hold me down as I was beating on the doctor to stop.  It was insane - I then had to go in for a D and C which I wish she had done to begin with.  I recently found out this same idiot doctor (I have since switched) had my blood type wrong and gave me rhogam shots through my pregnancy with DS and my DNC in march.  My blood type is fucking positive - moron!!! 

allthingsgo

@thechickendance I experienced both med free and epidural labor. I got to 9.5 cm med free and then was put on pitocin since I wasn’t dilating further. Once those pitocin contractions hit I was begging for an epidural. Once it kicked in, it was such a RELIEF! My whole body relaxed after dealing with contraction pain for over 24 hours. I was able to sleep a couple
hours (after barely sleeping for 24 hrs) while the pitocin did it’s thing.  I literally said to my husband, “why did I wait so long?” in regards to getting the epidural lol. That being said, if I end up laboring this time (I ended up with a c section and am trying for a vbac) I will opt for med free again haha. 

BourbonBiscuits

Birth stories are my favorite. DS was sunny side up, he was stuck in my tailbone for 2 hours and my epidural failed, but here I am doing it all over again.

It's so true that your body just knows what to do (although I've read that isn't true for everyone). My nurses kept asking me to do practice pushes and suddenly my body just HAD to push. I've never felt such urgency in my life and it didn't matter if I cooperated or not, my body was going to push.

megpants209

@danixbanani24 my mother and one of my sisters both had to have theirs manually removed as well and they both hemorrhaged prior. My mother said they told her to hold on to the bed rails because the room was going to spin and that it was the understatement of a time time 

riatortillaxo

These stories are fascinating! I cannot believe how close we are getting. 

bellebaby221

My birth stories aren't much since I've had c/s each time. Except the second time when the spinal was incomplete. 😰

agea

Wow these are all getting me all nervous for round 2. Not sure I’m ready for it again. 
I was 5 days late and thought I’d be pregnant 4evaaaa. Seriously. 
Contractions (that felt painful, not just the tightening that had been happening for the last months) began around 330a and woke me up but I stayed in bed riding them out for a couple hours (like intense menstrual cramps), I was starving at 530 and ate some cereal, finally woke my husband around 6 and decided to wait till 7 to check in with doula. She warned it might go on for hours or days and to watch for mucus plug or other signs. She recommended having sex so we did that to hopefully bring on full labor (not enjoyable in case you’re wondering). Around 1030 I was starving again, headed out on foot to get lunch but couldn’t make it beyond our building due to increasing cramps and sent my husband solo. Ate around 11, asking my husband to massage my back through increasingly intense waves, but in our measurements, the contractions still weren’t “peaking” for a full minute so we assumed we had a while. About 1130 my mucus plug came out and we started getting our stuff together, headed out sometime after 1230. Took an eternal Uber up to the hospital as I was desperately trying to hold it together on the ride. Arrived about 115 in triage where our doula met us. 4cm on first check. I was having a really hard time sitting/walking/being and apparently my doula told my husband that I thought this was painful but didn’t know what I was in for. Doc went to check on room and by the time she came back I was at 6cm so they wheeled me down 1 floor to the birthing center.
As I crawled into the bed at 2pm I felt a big scary  pop and my water had broken. Nearly immediately I started feeling a ton of pressure and was panicking because I knew I wasn’t supposed to push if not dilated fully. So I was just kind of blurting help, help, I have to push lol. They came to check me and were like, ok push. I’d gone from 4 to 6 to 10 in less than an hour and wasn’t mentally ready for it. I instantly regretted my unmedicated intentions and sheepishly asked for something and that obviously wasn’t happening. I have never wanted to escape an imminent situation more in my life. Like being shoved out of a plane before you have your parachute. I was FREAKING out but truly no alternative.
I found the labor instructions incredibly confusing and not intuitive. (Lift your head, hold your legs, hold your breath and push with each contraction.) For the life of me I couldn’t follow all these things at once. I pushed painfully for a total of 55 minutes.... I thought I was pushing as hard as I could but baby wasn’t coming out. They “incentivized” me by threatening to cut and lo and behold, I found some strength to get that baby out real quick.
Delivering the placenta wasn’t nice but the uterus massage was awful afterward. I was much sorer than people I know for a much longer time - not sure if it was anything to do with somewhat quick delivery or if it’s just my body. So many things to not look forward to. That being said, I’m still mostly planning unmedicated again. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It was truly traumatizing and unreal.

hnbergeron

Are there any tips to help with back pain, pelvis pain or calf muscle pain/cramps??? I think I am dying. 

agea

I’ve always been told the calf cramps can be helped by avoiding dehydration and increasing potassium- so water and bananas! Has helped me. 
My back hurts too

danixbanani24

@megpants209 yeah they ain’t kidding! I told my current OB don’t even try it - give me a d and c.  

sjnsjnsjn

@hnbergeron- I am having loads of lower back pain too now. I am using cat/cow yoga moves, even the on my back version, as well as dropping knee over to one side not-really-twists, and knee windshield wipers to help.  It does some.

danixbanani24

@ssag I found the directions during labor confusing and hard to do too! Mostly they told me to push like I’m pooping and I felt like I was doing nothing.  Finally after pushing for I don’t even know how long they asked if I wanted to “vacuum” him out (or suction cup him I guess?) and I said HELL YES GET HIM OUT.  And that was that lol

kayjay44

OMG the uterine massage is the fucking worst. I get why they do it (so you are less like to hemorrhage) but it fucking sucks. 

@hnbergeron - for the legs, magnesium, iron and potassium. For back and pelvis pain, get a maternity support belt or a compression top like Blanqi. I went from having pelvic pain so bad I couldn’t walk to having no pain. Massage also helps. Make sure you’re sleeping with something between your knees - I just use a king size pillow vs a special pillow (I had one and hated it). 

AshleySparkle720

My first daughter I didn't think I was in labor because I was a FTM and only 36 weeks. I convinced myself all day that my contractions were just braxton hicks. Around 7pm I took a shower and packed a bag just in case they didn't stop. I blow dried my hair and started to straighten it and by the time I was finished I was fully leaning on my counter because I couldn't stand straight through the contractions. So I jumped in the car, called my best friend, and told her to meet me at L&D. She was a nurse in that hospital and she was on rotation so she was able to get things ready for me right away. By the time I got there I was at a 7 and my water broke all on the nurse who was checking me! Immediately got the epidural and stalled at a 9 for hours and hours. Finally started pushing at 6am. She was born at 927am. Eek.

My second labor was similar in that I was 37 weeks and labored all day and ran all of my last minute errands before even considering going in. My contractions began around 10am and dh and I checked into l&d at 930pm. I was only at a 5, but she was so low that I couldn't walk anymore. I bounced on a yoga ball for another couple of hours, took a shower, did my hair (lol), and took a nap. I woke up to my water breaking and the nurse saying it was my last chance for an epidural. So I told them to do it and after it was done I progressed way too quickly. It was placed, but didn't have enoigh time to kick in fully so only my feet and shins were numb. I pushed twice and she was out before breakfast.

shellperry

With my first and third my water leaked but did not pop that’s when I new to go. With my second the contractions where consistent and getting stronger so I new it was time they had to brake my water at the hospital. My longest labor was 3 hours start to finish. I’ve heard not all women experience the ring of fire but that is by far the worse part of giving birth. And after my first that hardest thing after labor was pooping!

hnbergeron

Well I had DH last night massage my back and legs since we can't afford the fancy one. I will say it did wonders. My back hurts less and my legs hurt less. The cramping is still there but less. Yay for temporary relief!

kayjay44

@hnbergeron - with insurance and a prescription, my massages are covered! Worth checking out your benefits. 

sjnsjnsjn

@hnbergeron- I did a bad job of explaining some of the yoga stretches I do for LB and hip pain, but since they really do give me pain relief, I found a link that has those and more:
https://greatist.com/move/prenatal-yoga-poses/amp

okayestmom12

Birth stories fascinate me.  

If you're looking for a scheduled c-section story (1st kiddo) or a scheduled c-section w/ water breaking 5 hours before aforementioned scheduled c-section (2nd kiddo), then I'm your girl :-P