@kayjay44 I’m so sorry. I’m hesitant to even suggest because you are a TTM and I am a FTM (I’m such a rookie!!) but have you heard of Reliefband2.0?
@ohsunnydays - Tried it (or something similar) with my first and it actually made my nausea worse. Man, I thought I was dying with my first where I was sick from 8-12 weeks. Little did I know....
@kayjay44 (or others with it!) what does SPD feel like for you? I started having some really bad pelvic/lower back pain and one of the things the dr is thinking is SPD. Which, thankfully, is far better than some of the alternatives Dr Google offers.
DD decided to launch herself out of her crib the other night so we finally broke down and converted her crib to a toddler bed.
She has done surprisingly well! Her first night in it she didn’t come out of her room at all and fell asleep pretty quickly. Then nap time today she came out a few times but i just calmly walked her back into her room. She finally stayed in there and played for about an hr but then climbed into her bed and went to sleep!
I was expecting it to be a lot harder of a transition but it seems like she was ready.
When we first showed it to her she was very excited about how she could go in and out of bed on her own. She also kept asking me to come look at her ‘new crib’. My little girl is growing up!
@episcowitch I hope you have good support in real life. A dear friend of mine comes from what sounds like a similar family and my heart breaks for her regularly. I will never understand how so-called religious people can be so intolerant.
Omg guys. I don’t know what to do with myself. I just tricked my oldest into taking a nap at the same time as her brother! I told her to meet me in my room and I’ll be in there in 5 mins (I need to do some things quick). I walked in there and she was sawing logs after about 2 mins. I’m so excited right now! Lol!
@kayjay44 I'm sorry. Unisom does shit for me, every night I take benedryl and a b6 vitamin. Then throughout the day I take zofran. I did take 2 at each dose when I had my surgery. I honestly didn't tell the docs...I still do it on occasion. Take 1 wait 2 hrs and if I still am dry heaving and puking, I take another.
Kinda on the same note, I am having a freaking fit right now. Had an OB appt today. Everything is fine(baby wise at least). I called the leave people before the appointment today to make sure I knew what I need to do or have the doctor do so I can get paid while on it. Told the OB today what needs to happen. I was planning on starting leave mid to end January just so I can get mentally prepared becaise of my anxiety. All I needed the OB to dp was put it down that I would stop working at that date to help my mental stress. She said no. She doesn't feel it medically necessary. But I am "sick" enough to need constant nausea meds and a scheduled induction at 39weeks??? But I am not allowed any time to deal with this mentally?? And then she proceeded to tell me that she carried twins to 35 weeks while working long hours on her feet. That's dandy. But you weren't puking or being dehydrated every day. And I gaurentee your job wasn't in jeporardy if you had to leave or call out. Guess what, mine is. And I work over an hour away from the hospital I have to go to. She is like well everyone has tp deal with it. And she had a hard time believing that my job wouldn't be lenient. They don't freaking care, they have 3000 locations amd countless employees. I'm just another easily replaced cog in a machine.
@hnbergeron I’m shocked they won’t give you at least a couple weeks off before to mentally prep. That seems crazy to me, especially since you know yourself best know what you need
@hnbergeron that is horrible she treated you that way! WTH. You have enough to deal with with puking all the time and feeling like crap without being berated by someone who supposed to be providing your care. Is she normally like this? If so, I know it’s late in the game but do you think maybe changing OBs is a possibility? I don’t know if that attitude will be helpful during labor. Especially if you are anxious.
@megpants209 - For me, it literally feels like the front of my pelvis is going to collapse all the time, but its one of those things that presents differently for different people and you feel the pain in different ways or in different areas.
@hnbergeron - I choose to work up until delivery because I would go crazy at home and have been lucky enough to do so. That's fucking bullshit that they won't let you go out early. It's super common to go out a few weeks early just because you want to. I'd ask to speak to another OB or escalate to the clinic manager. Or go to a psychiatrist who can also put you out on FMLA.
@hnbergeron that is ridiculous, what a complete lack of compassion! I agree with reaching out to another ob/medical professional to get the authorization.
@kayjay44 I really hope you can keep something down soon!
@okayestmom12 adorable pic!!! My DS REFUSED to get out of his stroller and take a picture for xmas even tho we were at the damn studio. I was beyond pissed.
@hnbergeron wait your OB really treated you like that? Don’t you work at something in the food industry? (Sorry if that’s not you). Unbelievable.
@kayjay44 damn it. How did yours get diagnosed? I can’t find much except to see a PT. I’ve had some achiness before but this came on last night and holy hell life is 100x harder. Putting on pants is now a full on ORDEAL.
@danixbanani24 you are right, I do work in food industry. Dealing with ahole customers...
I thought about asking someone else, but I honestly just hate drama. I avoid it at all costs. I really didn't think it would be this big of a deal but I guess so. As far as going to a therapist to get help, I can"t afford it. Just like I keep putting off going to see a nuerologist for migraines. DH and I are going to see what best options we have and then go from there. We have savings but it was marked for him to be able to take time off for the baby since he is self employed.
Thank you for all the support, it helps to know I am not the only one who thinks this whole thing is ridiculous.
@megpants209 - it feels like my pelvis is being ripped in half. I guess I wasn’t officially diagnosed, but I’m sure that’s what I had. I never brought it up to my doctor bc it was near the very end.
@hnbergeron - awful! I’m sorry. Especially for the “I worked until the very end...” crap. Well good for YOU.
That's utter BS @hnbergeron. Nevermind the fact that you shouldn't have to justify it to her more than you have, does she not know how precarious service industry work can be?
@hnbergeron I agree with others that you should consider switching OBs...you want someone who will support you, not someone who is going to cause you stress and anxiety - and also be weirdly competitive about how long she was able to work? What a load of crap! I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
@megpants209 Moving 754 miles away from family was the best thing I ever did. Getting shunned hurts, but after years of therapy, I can see the benefits.
@hnbergeron Drs seem completely unaware of what the lives of anyone except themselves are like. My SIL (Dr) seems like she's from another planet. Does your practice have an APRN? Nurse Practitioners/Midwives tend to be more accessible and understanding while still having the medical clout to fill out the necessary documents.
“My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage." - Aunt Frances”
@hnbergeron I know exactly what you mean about not creating drama or like making a stink at a doctors office etc. I am the same way and have a very hard time advocating for myself in those situations. My OB was really hesitant to let me go back on my anxiety medication but after three appointments I finally put my foot down because I knew what I needed. See how you do - if you feel you need the early leave I would fight it.
Wtf @hnbergeron. You’d think having gone through it herself would make her more understanding. My OB is male and my only hesitation with him was that he’s never experienced pregnancy and childbirth, but it sounds like even if you have there's no guarantee you'll be compassionate. That OB's needs to get off her high horse, I'm so sorry you're in that situation.
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
I am going to try and sleep on it. I don't want to escalate or cause extra drama. I am going to talk my boss and email my boss's boss since we all have a good relationship. I've known them for 10 years so I want to see of they know of any magic loop hole. I know I have a few weeks to really figure it out and stressing myself isn't going to help. This is all just so much more confusing than I thought it would be. I know the OB is mainly concerned about keeping the baby healthy amd delivering him, I guess mom's take a back seat. I can't switch to the NP because with the 2 vessel cord, I need to monitored extra by someone with high risk knowledge. My boss is flexible and will do what needs to be done but he is a friend and I don't want to stress him out. DH is on board with whatever as long as I can get paid. I can take FMLA at any point but it is unpaid. I just need that stupid note so I can be paid my partial pay while out.
@danixbanani24 I am definitely going to play it by ear so to speak and if I have to fight towards the end, I guess I will. Maybe if I have a mental break down in the office she might reconsider.
@kayjay44 I know I probably can't afford it but maybe, just maybe, I can try a psychiatrist or therapist if it gets to that point.
Just so much frustration and anger at this point. I'll take a step back and then reattack later. Even before pregnancy, when I got super angry or upset it triggered migraines so I am hoping I didn't just doubly screw myself for tomorrow. I do have to work...
@hnbergeron that stuff makes me so angry on your behalf, you shouldn't have to worry about starting drama, it's your own body and your own medical care! And the OB has no business making you take a back seat to the baby, you're her patient! Moms put themselves in the back seat enough. Your doctor should be advocating for you.
I have had two 15-hour work days in a row and I'm exhausted but I can't go to sleep yet because now apparently I have to drive 4 hours to NJ so I can get away from a freak November snow storm that is about to dump 8 inches of snow on central PA. How is that a thing when we're not even halfway through November yet?!
What is everyone'' opinion on starting a thread wjere we share tips on how to deal with stress? I feel like there are alot of people who are fighting it and maybe a thread where we give tips may help. The mental health check in is nice for support but maybe a specific thread of ideas to deal with pregnancy and non-pregnancy stress would be good especially for us ftm.
@hnbergeron not sure how good they are but there are therapy apps that can connect you with a therapist. Also sometimes if you find a social worker/therapist they can be covered by insurance. I had a social worker once who had a degree in therapy.
Re: Weekly randoms 11/12-11/16
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
We call my son a party animal while my daughter is such a little lady. No picture better exemplifies them than this right here. 🤣
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
@PurplePoppy424 - Dual naps always makes me feel like a bad ass mom 😜
@allthingsgo - So bittersweet. So glad it’s been a smooth transition!
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
Kinda on the same note, I am having a freaking fit right now. Had an OB appt today. Everything is fine(baby wise at least). I called the leave people before the appointment today to make sure I knew what I need to do or have the doctor do so I can get paid while on it. Told the OB today what needs to happen. I was planning on starting leave mid to end January just so I can get mentally prepared becaise of my anxiety. All I needed the OB to dp was put it down that I would stop working at that date to help my mental stress. She said no. She doesn't feel it medically necessary. But I am "sick" enough to need constant nausea meds and a scheduled induction at 39weeks??? But I am not allowed any time to deal with this mentally?? And then she proceeded to tell me that she carried twins to 35 weeks while working long hours on her feet. That's dandy. But you weren't puking or being dehydrated every day. And I gaurentee your job wasn't in jeporardy if you had to leave or call out. Guess what, mine is. And I work over an hour away from the hospital I have to go to. She is like well everyone has tp deal with it. And she had a hard time believing that my job wouldn't be lenient. They don't freaking care, they have 3000 locations amd countless employees. I'm just another easily replaced cog in a machine.
@hnbergeron - I choose to work up until delivery because I would go crazy at home and have been lucky enough to do so. That's fucking bullshit that they won't let you go out early. It's super common to go out a few weeks early just because you want to. I'd ask to speak to another OB or escalate to the clinic manager. Or go to a psychiatrist who can also put you out on FMLA.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
@kayjay44 I really hope you can keep something down soon!
@hnbergeron wait your OB really treated you like that? Don’t you work at something in the food industry? (Sorry if that’s not you). Unbelievable.
I thought about asking someone else, but I honestly just hate drama. I avoid it at all costs. I really didn't think it would be this big of a deal but I guess so. As far as going to a therapist to get help, I can"t afford it. Just like I keep putting off going to see a nuerologist for migraines. DH and I are going to see what best options we have and then go from there. We have savings but it was marked for him to be able to take time off for the baby since he is self employed.
Thank you for all the support, it helps to know I am not the only one who thinks this whole thing is ridiculous.
@allthingsgo- I feel inspired by this story. How old is your DD??
@hnbergeron - awful! I’m sorry. Especially for the “I worked until the very end...” crap. Well good for YOU.
@hnbergeron Drs seem completely unaware of what the lives of anyone except themselves are like. My SIL (Dr) seems like she's from another planet. Does your practice have an APRN? Nurse Practitioners/Midwives tend to be more accessible and understanding while still having the medical clout to fill out the necessary documents.
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
@danixbanani24 I am definitely going to play it by ear so to speak and if I have to fight towards the end, I guess I will. Maybe if I have a mental break down in the office she might reconsider.
@kayjay44 I know I probably can't afford it but maybe, just maybe, I can try a psychiatrist or therapist if it gets to that point.
Just so much frustration and anger at this point. I'll take a step back and then reattack later. Even before pregnancy, when I got super angry or upset it triggered migraines so I am hoping I didn't just doubly screw myself for tomorrow. I do have to work...