Weekly randoms 11/12-11/16

kdrn913

@danixbanani24 it seriously is flying by. And I feel like through the holidays is going to go so fast! 

@okayestmom12 not opposed! It’s so much easier for me than using the bump app (not on a regular computer much) 

BourbonBiscuits

@madreofdragons Steve does look so pleased with himself! That picture is darling.

I don't understand how we're (some of us) already at biweekly appointments. Starting to get really really real ...

sjnsjnsjn

Any other Outlander fans out there?  I think I might be 12 because I got this marketing email and it made me SQUEEE with delight because I have been waiting for this for years, in my mind... hahahah

etnyah

This morning at my bus stop, a lady was smoking when I got there. She took one look at my belly, said “oh I’m sorry!” and then walked over to a spot several feet away to finish her cigarette. There are decent people left in the world!

Venessa88

DD has been sick since Sunday.  It's been a rough last few days and we all haven't been sleeping much since she is coughing and waking up with a high fever.  Hoping tonight goes better. 

As for today I am drinking my coffee and trying to stay awake to function at least semi productively at work. 

ginger1228

I’ve not made a big announcement about this baby bc I wanted to see if people would ask when I started showing. I mainly WFH and when I’ve popped into offices no one noticed yet. Well now I’m 6 months along and realized that many of my coworkers I consider good friends don’t even know. Whoops. 

eggsandwich2019

I would be down with a migration thread, but I am going to put in yet another plea for a platform other than FB. I don't want to go back there, it's been so good to be off of it! But I love this group (even though I don't love the Bump as a platform). 

also @sjnsjnsjn YESSSSSS

ginger1228

Also got another “do you guys want a boy so you can be officially done?”   
Nope. Only .2% chance we’ll try for a third regardless of the sex and also only bc we want a third child. Not a particular sex. 

I get that people want a particular sex and I don’t care as long as they also want an additional child and not just a boy/girl. Otherwise blow me. 

okayestmom12

@ginger1228 - I’ll never not be surprised at the stupid comments people make regarding people’s families. 

For us, we have a girl and a boy so we got a lot of “oh! The perfect family!”... because if we had 2 girls or 2 boys it wouldn’t have been perfect?! ANNOYING! 

ginger1228

@okayestmom12 - I’m sure you hear “oh good so you’re done!!” a lot too. 

Someone stopped me the other day and was saying how they don’t understand why people keep having kids if the first two are a boy and a girl. I didn’t even know what to say. 

thechickendance

@ginger1228 wow, really??? I will never understand why some people think it's ok to say what they do.

kayjay44

@ginger1228 - we get lots of “you already have one of each, so why would you have a third?” Gee, because there are lots of reasons to want the number of kids you want that aren’t determined by sex, maybe? Or they ask if #3 was an accident - the timing was off a few months, but we want three kids. 

I’m sure if we had two of the same sexpeople would assume we’re only having a third to have whichever we didn’t have - which wouldn’t be the case - we WANT three. People need to STFU - someone else’s family make up isn’t anyone else’s business. 

bellebaby221

When I say this is our 4th the most common reaction is either "oh" or "wow". And if people find out this one is a girl then they act like it's ok since we had all boys before. FWIW she was a total surprise, not planned AND we'd be just as ok having a 4th if it was a boy, TYVM.

BourbonBiscuits

@okayestmom12 I get a ton of the "oh how perfect - now you'll have one of each!" as if children are a pair of shoes or something. But I never know how to respond without sounding adversarial lol. 

etnyah

I’ve also heard people say that having more than two kids is selfish because it contributes to overpopulation, since two kids replace you and your partner and more than that is just excessive.

Umm no, that’s not how overpopulation works. In western countries, fertility is on a steep decline because most people are having one, two or zero kids. A family here and there having three or five kids doesn’t make much of a difference. If you’re so concerned about overpopulation, how about heading to a country where they don’t have access to contraceptives and help out there.

conni0205

As a FTM having a boy is definitely very exciting, but everyone saying aren’t you happy your first child is a boy is definitely annoying... I would have been just as happy if the first one was a girl. 

SO and I both want a pretty big family I want 4 children and he wants 6 😂 so we will have 4. Lol but I can honestly say that I hope one is a girl but after 4 I will not just keep trying just to have a girl. If we (I) decide I can handle having more children then we may have more but definitely not to try until we have a girl. 

madreofdragons

H gets a lot of “poor you” looks about 2 girls. 

etnyah

@cmkrauss my family assumed I’m sad about having a boy because I’m such a girly-girl (not really??), and before we knew the sex they all said “Kristin can’t have anything but a girl, it has to be a girl!”. Excuse me? I had no preference either way, and I actually had a feeling he was a boy and referred to him as “he” before we knew. I’m excited about having a boy! I’d be just as happy with a girl, but assuming I’m disappointed in my child before he’s even born irks me to no end.

ginger1228

@BourbonBiscuits - I feel the same about sounding adversarial when people say they hope we’re having a boy since we already have a daughter. It’s hard not to sound defensive but it’s so annoying!

@grebretso - ask the overpopulation crowd how many of their kids they adopted. If they want to help solve that problem, then adopt one of the thousands of kids who need a home. 

conni0205

@grebretso I completely agree. I had to have a girl because my family only makes girls.... meanwhile my SO only has brothers and my sister has a son, so the logic just doesn’t make sense. 

lzzfrancisco

I can't wait for the facebook migration so I feel more comfortable sharing pictures! 

ginger1228

@grebretso - somewhat similar but opposite. A couple of my close friends kept saying they hoped I was having a boy with #1 bc I “wouldn’t do a girl justice.” As in frilly outfits and bows. Bc that’s the only way to raise a daughter. Thanks for the support, friends. 

lzzfrancisco

@ginger1228 That is awful! I certainly don't do a girl justice by your friends standards, but I'm more than happy to let her grandparents and aunts etc pick up the slack! My daughter is so girly, it's a real blessing that I didn't cover her in pink and lace the moment she was born. And now she's a little jealous of all the cool dinosaur sleepers grandma keeps picking out for little brother! 

etnyah

Haha @ginger1228, that’s funny because if I have a girl at some point (which apparently is my destiny or whatever) I won’t dress her in frilly crap at all. I’m just not into it! If she asks for a sparkly pink dress when she’s older, sure. But like, I can’t even do a French braid if my life depends on it, I have no idea where my family got this idea of me being super girly from. 

Also: a boy might be into pink sparkly dresses too. I’ll oblige if that’s his style, but I’m sure my family would judge and say I’m trying to force him to be a girl because that’s obviously what I really wanted.

kayjay44

The overpopulation argument is dumb - My parents had two and one died. DH is one of two and SIL is developmentally delayed and will never have kids. Us having 3 kids (that we are able to support) doesn’t even zero that out. If overpopulation is really a concern, we should focus on teaching kids properly about sex (so not abstinence only), supporting a woman’s right to choose, and providing free access to birth control - not limiting the number of kids people want or shaming them for completing their family. 

etnyah

@kayjay44 Exactly. If every girl and woman in the world got to decide exactly how many kids she wanted, overpopulation would not be an issue at all. 

kayjay44

I just want to stop puking and be able to eat like a normal person. I’m starving, but know if I eat now it will come back up. At this point, I am not sure how I will survive 3 more months of this - I’m not sure how I’ve survived the 6 months up to this point either, but it’s getting to the point where I can’t take much more. 

okayestmom12

@grebretso - My 3.5 year old son loves to play dinosaurs and trucks while wearing a princess dress 🤷🏼‍♀️

danixbanani24

My dad had two girls and when everyone found out I was having a boy they told HIM “oh you must be so excited to have a grandson! Finally a boy!” My dad was like actually I love my two girls and would’ve loved a granddaughter too lol.  I’m a girly girl but my dad was a handyman/jack of all trades kind of guy and I’m so thankful he kept my by his side to help him with projects around the house because now I can do or fix a lot of things myself.

i know this time around we were hoping for a girl because I am disgustingly in love with dresses and headbands and frilly things but I’m just as happy having another adorable little boy.  My mom would’ve drowned me in dresses and pink if it had been a girl haha.  

also DS loves my makeup and asks for me to do his makeup too lol I let him play with my brushes and powders a lot.  He also enjoys brushing my hair and telling me he just loves my nail colors and can he get his nails done too. Lol I think it’s adorable!

PurplePoppy424

My 4.5yo girl loves dinosaurs, hot wheels and Batman. She also has her traditionally girly stuff (dress up clothes, barbies, etc.), but she plays with a plethora of stuff. 

We’ve also gotten the comments about the third baby. This one was earlier than expected, but DH and I always wanted three. I got so tired of hearing “I bet you’re so glad you’re done now that you have one of each” after DS1 was born. People are so stupid. 

danixbanani24

Alternatively with two boys we also get the “will you try for a girl??” Comments 

etnyah

Jeez @danixbanani24. Your second boy isn’t even born yet and people are already asking about a potential next one?? 

I guess thats similar to what my mom said the other day. She asked when we’d try for a sibling because having just one is child abuse, apparently. I told her I’d pass the remark along to my IL’s since H is an only child. Ours might end up being one too, we haven’t decided yet! Let us see how having one baby works out first, please. 

lzzfrancisco

@grebretso I wasn't ready for a second child until DD was fully potty trained. Approximately 3 yo.. TBH I'm still not 100% sure I want  can handle a second child.. but were in way too deep now!  

kayjay44

As long as you raise an only child not to be an asshole (which you should do regardless of the number of children you have) and socialize them (ditto), it really doesn’t matter and definitely isn’t child abuse. 

etnyah

@lzzfrancisco Ha, exactly.

Also, only children don’t know what it’s like to have siblings, and children with siblings don’t know what it’s like not to have them, so how can anyone say what’s best? H had a happy childhood with lots of friends, I had a happy childhood with siblings. My mom said “but he’ll want a sibling!” which might be true, but I remember desperately wanting an older sister as a kid and it’s not like that was going to happen either. I turned out fine without one. 

etnyah

@kayjay44 Exactly. People think only children are spoiled because they get all the attention, but it’s equally possible to spoil siblings too. It’s all down to parenting style. And guess who has to do ALL the chores in a family with one child?

allthingsgo

It’s seems like whether you have zero, one or 2+ kids you are always going to be judged. I had DD in my mid-thirties and got the ‘so when are you going to have kids?’ question a billion times. Then when I had her it was, “oh you only have one??” I mean dang, people live your life and I’ll live mine. 

lzzfrancisco

@grebretso I have a cousin who is the same age as I am, but is an only child. I grew up wishing I could trade places with him and he could have the siblings and I could be an only child. Hoping my sister doesn't read this(my brother can bite me), but as an adult I pretty much feel the same way. I wouldn't love her any more or less if she were my sister compared to my cousin. I just think moms of only children have to work a little harder to help their kid develop bonds with friends and extended family. 
That being said, DH is youngest of 4 and probably wouldn't have survived losing his parents if it weren't for his siblings.
The good news is you can't actually start making a sibling until you actually birth #1, so it's not like you have to make any decisions now anyways! 

bellebaby221

The only thing I have noticed about DH being an only child is that he really struggles to understand sibling dynamics. He never had a brother or sister to irritate the hell out of him so he doesn't understand sometimes why the boys get so mad at each other. I had a younger brother who seemed to make it his mission to make me crazy so I get it! 

smallbutmighty77

@ginger1228 yup, I've been exhausted but I chalked it up to pregnant with a 15mo old a busy ft job. Maybe I don't have to feel like I haven't slept in ever.

Also, my 1st was a girl and I am not girly. My kid eats, sleeps, talks, climbs, walks and is super h as pot. I call that a win, even if I did it without bows.