Movin’ on up... to Facebook

PurplePoppy424 · November 2018

You guys know there are private groups on TB, too, right? That’s what J17 did before switching to FB.

danixbanani24 · November 2018

Personally I prefer FB too - I think a poll would be a good idea

thechickendance · November 2018

I would be good either way, though not the biggest fan of Facebook, the app is not on my phone... which of course will change with migration.

ginger1228 · November 2018

What do you guys think about a private group here regardless? Would be good for people who don’t migrate anywhere else. Those who stick around can have some added privacy. I loved the PG on J17 and felt so much more comfortable sharing pics and more personal info.

dcaron10 · November 2018

I know I haven’t participated regularly here but I think I would feel a lot more comfortable on FB. My F16 group moved to FB after the babies were born. There aren’t many of us left there so it is a small intimate group but I still enjoy talking to them and having the support! I have never used any other type of board but I would be up for that too. I’m just comfortable with FB.

eggsandwich2019 · November 2018

@ginger1228 I would be super down to move to a private group, I would be much more comfortable sharing photos and personal info if it wasn't public

bww_0331 · November 2018

I realize that I may not be enough of a regular to join FB yet, but I hope to participate more and make the transition! My first BMB followed a similar protocol to switch over to FB and it worked really well. I like the idea of having to provide a real picture of yourself with the date and your username. FB is really easy to use but I’m not opposed to another app or a private group here first.

As an addition, when we first switched to FB and the babies were little we had weekly ticker changes for the first 10ish weeks. Now we have daily themes threads (Munching Monday, Family Friday, etc) along with TB threads like randoms, FFFC, etc.

FB was so helpful those first few months and I am very close with my first BMB. I hope to get to that point with this board as well.

changadee · November 2018

FTM here, hoping I've been active enough the past little while to chime in. (In my defense I didn't know this group existed until maybe a couple weeks before I posted on the intro thread rofl). I would 100% be interested in a move to FB and would also have no problem coming back to TB until activity dies down over here. However personally I would not move to any other platform. I know I just wouldn't engage with it and I wouldn't want to join and then go silent and waste everyone's time.

okayestmom12 · November 2018

For all the ladies saying “I know I’m not active enough...” I beg to differ! Granted I’m not the one making any decisions but each of you that has chimed in on this post has a familiar screen name which, to me, says you’re active enough 😀

kayjay44 · November 2018

If you’re posting here, I wouldn’t worry - I recognize all of your names (so I’ve seen you around). Personally, I’m talking about people who maybe intro then never post when I refer to lurkers. Infrequent poster doesn’t equal lurker in my book.

ohsunnydays · November 2018

Hey friends. Catching up. I'm a non-FB user, but I would create an account just to chat with you all with a pseudonym/alias (

maybe something like Anastasia Beaverhausen, any Will & Grace fans here?). Can't do this all without you! Also, I would feel more comfortable sharing on a private, screened FB group with criteria to get in as I am a teacher and ... well. You can imagine!!

DH uses slack for work, and said it would be a good idea, but... if you use the free version, there is a possibility that old posts or thread (whatever they are) could get "pushed down" or deleted? Not sure if anyone knows anything about that.

kayjay44 · November 2018

@ohsunnydays - you hit a limit of messages and things start getting deleted but I can’t remember the message count - DH and I hit it after about 6 months of using it and we’re just two people.

bleucheeznwine · November 2018

I've been absent because both the bump app and website have been a nightmare for me. I'd love to move to fb, as I have with my wedding month club from the knot, and my last bump group with DD (that one ended in a messy split, but I still made some great friends).

I have to admit though, I am kind of nervous about the shield of anonymity lifting and knowing more about people politically than I do on here. I'm...passionate and have a hard time separating the person from the politics at this point in the current climate.

or, this all might be moot because since it's been a while since I've been really active here, I've been forgotten and won't be considered as an add to fb haha.

ginger1228 · November 2018

@bleucheeznwine - I recognize your name and am also an infrequent poster, so I’d say people know you.

Also - you don’t need to add people as a friend to be in the fb group, so unless people get politically charged in the group, you can still be oblivious to personal beliefs and opinions

cmjenkies · November 2018

I didn’t read a lot of these replies but here is my 2 cents re: FB transition -

FB is likely the only other forum that I will transition to. Nothing against any of you lovelies that don’t use it, it’s just the most accessible app for me. I hate this TB app with a passion. Once babies are born, I’m still active here to an extent but much more on FB.

My A16 group is only 30 of us. There’s a big group that migrated early that I didn’t join and then our smaller one. We are a very tight community and many of us have met IRL. We talk every single day. We’ve been in there for 3 years so we do yearly gift exchanges at Christmas and kids birthday month. My favorite format feature from our group is that we do a daily randoms thread that encompasses all random talk and really keeps the board organized. We also do a couple of other threads intermittently.

bleucheeznwine · November 2018

ginger1228 said:

@bleucheeznwine - I recognize your name and am also an infrequent poster, so I’d say people know you.

Also - you don’t need to add people as a friend to be in the fb group, so unless people get politically charged in the group, you can still be oblivious to personal beliefs and opinions

Haha I knowww, but sometimes I can just TELL. I know even if I'm not friends I'll be perusing profiles, just because it's the nature of the platform. Times are tough.

ksd20 · November 2018

I'd definitely like a transition to a private group on here and then to Facebook since it's easy and familiar

ginger1228 · November 2018

bleucheeznwine said:

ginger1228 said:

@bleucheeznwine - I recognize your name and am also an infrequent poster, so I’d say people know you.

Also - you don’t need to add people as a friend to be in the fb group, so unless people get politically charged in the group, you can still be oblivious to personal beliefs and opinions

Haha I knowww, but sometimes I can just TELL. I know even if I'm not friends I'll be perusing profiles, just because it's the nature of the platform. Times are tough.

Bahaha you’re right. Sometimes you really can just tell.

kayjay44 · November 2018

ginger1228 said:

bleucheeznwine said:

ginger1228 said:

@bleucheeznwine - I recognize your name and am also an infrequent poster, so I’d say people know you.

Also - you don’t need to add people as a friend to be in the fb group, so unless people get politically charged in the group, you can still be oblivious to personal beliefs and opinions

Haha I knowww, but sometimes I can just TELL. I know even if I'm not friends I'll be perusing profiles, just because it's the nature of the platform. Times are tough.

Bahaha you’re right. Sometimes you really can just tell.

Yeah, I’m not super political on FB, but I don’t put up with ignorant bullshit either. Keeping it real

bleucheeznwine · November 2018

kayjay44 said:

ginger1228 said:

bleucheeznwine said:

ginger1228 said:

@bleucheeznwine - I recognize your name and am also an infrequent poster, so I’d say people know you.

Also - you don’t need to add people as a friend to be in the fb group, so unless people get politically charged in the group, you can still be oblivious to personal beliefs and opinions

Haha I knowww, but sometimes I can just TELL. I know even if I'm not friends I'll be perusing profiles, just because it's the nature of the platform. Times are tough.

Bahaha you’re right. Sometimes you really can just tell.

Yeah, I’m not super political on FB, but I don’t put up with ignorant bullshit either. Keeping it real

Same--I don't post much of my own, but I'll pop off on douches in conversations or comment sections real quick.

allthingsgo · November 2018

So since it seems like since majority of people would want to go to FB maybe the next question is, is there a way we can make people who are not liking the idea of Facebook more comfortable about being on there just in our group? Like maybe they can create an account just for the PG kinda like @ohsunnydays plan? I’m just trying to figure out how not to leave anyone out while also respecting what reservations they may have about migrating to FB.

If anyone is comfortable enough, maybe you can let us know why you don’t want to move to FB and we can try to come up with a solution as a group? Idk just throwing ideas out.

sjnsjnsjn · November 2018

@allthingsgo- I won’t ever be back on FB as me, for general use, for oh so many reasons. If i make a fake name account for this, my main worry is that, if I post pics just for our group, because of its algorithm, I am worried it will recognize me from before, and suggest me as a friend to people I used to be FB friends with, in that way it suggests tags and whatnot and retains all that data. I don’t want to have to explain to my mom, or anyone else, why I am secretly there again, rejecting their requests, and then just close it all over again... Anyhow. FB is big brother, man (although mainly I am off of it for my mental health, desire to focus on the people and things I have IRL, and general life productivity).

ETA: I am also a little worried about myself. Breaking the FB habit was not easy, and if I am on it like I am on this app, I worry I will not be able to stop myself from going back full on again, and leaving it has been a boon to my life.

allthingsgo · November 2018

@sjnsjnsjn I definitely see how that would make you uncomfortable and not want to use it. I wonder if there is a way to make a private account and set the security settings so it doesn’t read your pictures etc. I feel like there should be but I would need to research it further to find out.

sjnsjnsjn · November 2018

@allthingsgo- Maybe. I wonder how much you can block because the way they make money is taking and running analytics on all your info and using it with their algorithm to sell things to you, on FB, and on every other site you go to, through online tracking, which is creepy AF, and the reason there is an ad on the news site you go to for something you just looked at elsewhere.

ohsunnydays · November 2018

@sjnsjnsjn If you make a new account, I would make it with a brand new email address that has nothing linked to it. I made one with an email I had a few contacts in, and they showed up in ppl you may know section.

allthingsgo · November 2018

@sjnsjnsjn yeah I learned about that recently and have since got an ad blocker, changed my FB security to the highest settings and also use a private search engine (duck duck go). I also only go on FB for the groups I’m on so it has cut way back on the adverstisments. Of course we will probably never fully escape them. I see them on here even. I hate being incessantly marketed to.

sjnsjnsjn · November 2018

@allthingsgo- Seriously. It’s a brave new world. 😳

sjnsjnsjn · November 2018

@ohsunnydays- ok thx for the tip on the email!

becks_726 · November 2018

@sjnsjnsjn you make quite the compelling argument! I hate my inability to sever ties with Facebook, even though I really don't use it for anything useful right now.

eggsandwich2019 · November 2018

Yeah just chiming in as another non-fb user. I found it was an emotional drain and not great for my mental health - it just seemed like a lot of screaming/stressing as a group, especially about politics and I don't need extra stress on top of pregnancy. I have loved being off of it. That said, I would maybe consider creating a secret account with a new, fake email address. Seems so shifty, haha - moving to fb to reveal our names and faces, but then I would use a fake name I guess and just tell you my real name in a thread or something? I would worry that the algorithm would recognize me and start trying to get me to re-friend people, as @sjnsjnsjn said

ginger1228 · November 2018

Fake fb pages were an issue in my other BMB - many of the members thought it wasn’t “fair” that they were revealing their real name and face and not getting the same in return. I’m not sure I necessarily care since we don’t have to be added as friends, but something to think about to make sure everyone is okay with that.
Suggestion of giving your real name and a pic like @eggsandwich2019 would help. I understand people not wanting a fb page for others to find them.

jessier19 · November 2018

@sjnsjnsjn and @eggsandwich2019 FB is super creepy and one always worries about what's happening behind the scenes, but there IS a privacy setting now where you can instruct facebook that it's not allowed to use its face-matching algorithms for you on any photos posted by you or anyone else. If you don't tag yourself in any new photos (and don't friend your old friends), I don't think FB would violate their own explicitly stated privacy settings quite that flagrantly? But maybe I'm being naive?

I worry that I would post something to the private group but mess up my privacy settings so that my comments would be accidentally visible to other friends/family. I'm sure there's a way to fix that if I configure the privacy settings properly, but the privacy settings are so confusing and hard to use, it sparks endless anxiety for me. And gawd I want a place to vent about all the people in my life who are ALREADY implying that I'm making the wrong choices as a mother without that getting back to them.

BourbonBiscuits · November 2018

@jessier19 I think the settings for the group will be such that no one can even see that the group exists once we've all joined so you couldn't do anything to make it publicly visible unless you're an admin!

jessier19 · November 2018

@BourbonBiscuits Thanks, that does make me feel better! I didn't know that was possible.

hnbergeron · November 2018

My 2 cents: I really have no preference. All I am hoping for is a more private group, and the ability to continue to support. Also that we stay on the Bump(as obnoxious as it can be) until at least these kids come and change our lives. As a ftm I am an anxious mess already and love having everyone here to support me and share thier experiences. I am fine with FB but again, open to other platforms.

okayestmom12 · November 2018

BourbonBiscuits said:

@jessier19 I think the settings for the group will be such that no one can even see that the group exists once we've all joined so you couldn't do anything to make it publicly visible unless you're an admin!

Absolutely. The group would be on absolute lockdown (that’s how my other FB Bump groups are).

AshleySparkle720 · November 2018

Ttm here. My first bmb was SUPER selective because we wanted a very high level of privacy. My second bmb added people more freely, but still required a lot of participation in general here before you were invited. I think it's fair to add people that are generally more active because it cuts down on the craziness once the transition is made. Ultimately the most important part of these groups is the support going forward and IMO it's hard to be supportive when you're a lurker.

ChloandCoco · November 2018

Just to chime in, but I don’t have a FB account anymore. So I will be hanging out here or if there’s a private group we could start on TB, that would work too.
It seems like there’s a few of us that don’t have FB, so it’s nice to know this BMB won’t die once the transition happens.

kayjay44 · November 2018

For those not wanting to go back to FB, I pretty much only use it for my BMBs and a local moms group - the only things I see in my thread are posts in my groups because I don't look at anything else. I know a lot of my BMB friends do almost exclusively the same.

PurplePoppy424 · November 2018

Why don’t we create a private group on the bump since the census right now is to stay here? That’ll give us a good amount of time to 1) get to know each other that much better 2) give us all the privacy we want to be able to freely share pictures and stuff 3) make sure the crazies have been weeded out? The private groups aren’t controlled by the admins and we would have a lot more freedom there to share.

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