Movin’ on up... to Facebook

jessier19

@hannahbananas11 I got a real kick out of “Gustational Diabetes”

sjnsjnsjn

@hannahbananas11- I think you might have found a Nobel laureate.

okayestmom12

Update: here’s who still has a pending invite. 



Come on Bump gods... be kind to us! 

katamca

Ughhh I thought I did it right! I’ll try again in the morning when I’m on desktop. Thanks for the update @okayestmom12!

becks_726

That's absolutely gold @hannahbananas11! 

etnyah

@jessier19 I noticed that one too. Ha! Everyone knows it's Gustational Diabeetus. 

sjnsjnsjn

@okayestmom12- I cannot see a “join” next to the group name in any method I use. Am I supposed to have received an email with a link?  I haven’t received anything like that

cas060

@okayestmom12 I sent a request to join, if you don't get it, please send me an invite

notthecheat

Ok I've spent an hour on my surface and still can't get in. I'm so frustrated.

okayestmom12

@sjnsjnsjn - The invite should be in your Bump inbox. But some gals said that they didn’t have a link from there. We’re you able to search for the PG son the groups page? That seems to provide the most success. 

sjnsjnsjn

Ah ok I know nothing of a Bump inbox but will look there now.  Yes, I could search and found the group no problem.  There’s no “join” button no matter whether I am on the app, on the regular formatted site on mobile or on an actual desktop.  WTH!  

ETA:  Found “my inbox” but it took me to a page that said “inbox” and had nothing else but the option to make a new message.  I am getting nowhere!

BourbonBiscuits

Did we have any criteria for entering the PG? There's only one in there right now that I don't recognize (granted I don't read the threads that don't pertain to me, so I'm definitely not all-knowing), but it made me wonder if we'd talked about that at all

sjnsjnsjn

Finally got in the PG! Jeez man, I am either defective or the bump is glitchy or door number 3!

ohsunnydays

@BourbonBiscuits I was wondering the same thing. I don’t think we have any criteria .

I noticed that too.  

etnyah

@BourbonBiscuits & @ohsunnydays Same. She made an intro yesterday and seems to be following the rules, and I’m sure she’s a nice person! However I’d be more comfortable with keeping the closed group to members who have been active for a while.

We still have three-ish months left (holy crap!) before our babies are here, plenty of time to become more active and familiar, so I think anyone who just found the board or have lurked for a while still has time to hang out here and get to know us before being added to a private group/Facebook/Slack/whatever else we choose to move to.

ginger1228

^^ same thoughts as above. Nothing against that user of course. Just a comfort level thing. 

ohsunnydays

Yep! Feel the same @ginger1228 & @grebretso , seems nice but it is a comfort level thing for me. i'm paranoid!! 

bleucheeznwine

I agree about having some criteria. Maybe from now on when people ask to get in on this thread, they need to have at least three love tits from recognized members to be added or something?

jessier19

I’m a little worried that the 3 love tits system looks a bit too much like a popularity contest? What if a few recognized members become admins, and then we leave the decision of who to let in up to them? They could decide based on checking how much someone’s posted. If they come up against unclear cases they can put it to the private group. 

ginger1228

jessier19 said:

I’m a little worried that the 3 love tits system looks a bit too much like a popularity contest? What if a few recognized members become admins, and then we leave the decision of who to let in up to them? They could decide based on checking how much someone’s posted. If they come up against unclear cases they can put it to the private group. 

This is basically what my J17 group did. We’d vote and debate if questionable (we had some drama starters) and then delete that thread before the person became a member. It was never a “that person sucks” conversation. Usually just “don’t feel like I know that person” or “don’t think they’re a good fit bc they start trouble with every post.” 

bleucheeznwine

That works too. I was thinking more that the lovetits would just be handed out along the lines of "I've seen this person post before" or "I checked out their post history and they seem nonthreatening" thing rather than a lovetitting for adoration or popularity type thing.

I guess I'm probably in the minority in that I feel like if people haven't made their presence recognized by now, maybe they haven't been around long enough to be in a private group. Full disclosure that I'm a paranoid person as I've had creepy interactions on the internet aplenty. 

etnyah

I agree @jessier19. There could be a timeframe + activity level requirement, like min 3 or 4 weeks since intro post was created and a min amount of posts? Or maybe that’s too complicated. It’s hard! 

okayestmom12

So... I know the user you’re all referring to. I was hesitant to approve (TBH) but I went to the profile and looks like she has posted a few times in this group (but not often). 

I’m all for keeping an eye on things and with only 33 people in there currently, it shouldn’t be too hard to weed out who participates and who doesn’t. 

Also. I guess I’m the default admin since I’m the group “owner”. That being said, I wouldn’t mind having one or two other “admins” to run these sort of things by. Does that make sense? 

jessier19

@grebretso yeah, I like that idea. I think it should be a combination of posting some minimum amount plus having joined at least 4 weeks or so ago. If the admins think someone might have caused too much drama, that would also be a criteria that should probably be put to the private group on a case-by-case basis. Except I think that last criteria is completely hypothetical, because I honestly can't think of anyone on here that that would apply to. (At least not since first trimester with some randos who have long since disappeared.) (LONG LIVE THE WORM)

@bleucheeznwine honestly, I suspect that your system and my system would pretty much let in the exact same group of people. I just sort of think that doing what we can to make the criteria look objective and not popularity based might kind of improve morale? I can easily imagine people reading into the number of love tits they get and feeling icky about it, like "I only got 3 love tits, so I do get in, but everyone else got 4, so does that mean they don't like me around here?" (But maybe I'm overthinking things?)

jessier19

Yeah @okayestmom12 I actually think you made a good call there. I was initially surprised because I didn't recognize her, but when I looked her up she'd actually posted a fair amount, just in threads I hadn't paid as much attention to. All of her posts had been fair and appropriate and everything. So, I guess if we add the 4 weeks criteria moving forward she wouldn't have gotten in, but I think you made a fair call under the circumstances. 

And, in case the woman we're talking about is reading this: you've been nothing but sweet and kind I hope you will continue to feel welcome here. None of this is in any way a criticism of you or anything you've done. We're just in the process of trying to figure out community rules. I hope you stay and continue to be a part of our community!

bleucheeznwine

@jessier19 I could see that, and yours is probably a less messy plan. I'm kind of like a dude in that 1. If I already saw three love tits I'd most likely pass on by and not add another, because yay they already have three and 2. I wouldn't even think about how many love tits I've received if I were the requester. I usually err on the side of not giving enough shits, but forget not everyone is that way. A lack of fucks is a blessing and a curse, haha.

ginger1228

jessier19 said:

Yeah @okayestmom12 I actually think you made a good call there. I was initially surprised because I didn't recognize her, but when I looked her up she'd actually posted a fair amount, just in threads I hadn't paid as much attention to. All of her posts had been fair and appropriate and everything. So, I guess if we add the 4 weeks criteria moving forward she wouldn't have gotten in, but I think you made a fair call under the circumstances. 

And, in case the woman we're talking about is reading this: you've been nothing but sweet and kind I hope you will continue to feel welcome here. None of this is in any way a criticism of you or anything you've done. We're just in the process of trying to figure out community rules. I hope you stay and continue to be a part of our community!

Agree with all of this! I actually think this person seems perfectly friendly and appropriate and seemed to jump right in to the fun.

PurplePoppy424

I haven’t really thought about it much because our group hasn’t had any drama starters that have stuck around and while I didn’t recognize that name, that didn’t bother me because I don’t read every single thread. I just assumed they’d participated in other threads I’d not been a part of. Plus, they seem perfectly nice! It probably is a good idea to limit admittance to people who have actively participated, though. Especially since there is more personal info and pictures listed in there. 

@okayestmom12, if you’d like some help with admin duties, I’d be happy to assist! 

becks_726

I think discussing anyone we are unsure of in the private group is the best idea. I'd err on the side of caution for anyone who hasn't been posting for at least a month. It's not like this public group is going to go dead tomorrow. There's plenty of time to be active and participate. 

Just this past weekend my friend discovered that her MIL has operated a fake twitter account for 3 years. She has used some poor woman's FB photos as herself. She has used a distant 14 year old family member as her fictional dead sister's daughter whom she is raising as her own. She is using my friend's son (her real life grandson) as her godson. She has even used pictures of her own father who is very much alive and pretended he died. This is how my friend's partner discovered his mother's account. Someone he follows favourited a picture of his grandfather with the caption 'RIP dad'. Can you imagine?!!!! (MIL story of the year as far as I'm concerned.)

Anyway, convoluted story to say that there are weird people on the internet and I think we are all doing ourselves a favour by being a bit cautious.

Eta: @okayestmom12 please tell us if we can help in any way. You've been so kind to set it up but you shouldn't feel obliged to shoulder the responsibility. 

lifeislove87

Is it possible to get an invite? I’m permanently on mobile unfortunately since being out of work I don’t have a desktop 

ginger1228

@becks_726 whaaaaat?! What the heck!!!

I also don’t care to volunteer for admin duties but if someone else just wants it, that’s cool too. I 
I think 3 or 5 admins is a good number - an odd number in case a tiebreaker is needed.

sjnsjnsjn

@becks_726- That is one of the craziest things ever and also how does one ever deal with their MIL again after finding out they are THAT kind of crazy?!

Thanks to everyone sorting this stuff out with the PG.  You guys all seem wise and just, and I feel like we are in good hands! 

becks_726

@sjnsjnsjn I think that's exactly what my friend is wrestling with right now. I think they are genuinely concerned for her wellbeing but also just beyond shocked and angry. It's mind boggling. 

BourbonBiscuits

Totally agree - I hope my comment didn’t come across as ugly towards that specific person. She seems lovely!! Just sparked the thought in my mind. 

Im happy to help with admin duties if no one volunteers. I don’t want it to be an exclusive thing, but I’m also extra wary of sharing personal information in a public forum because of past experiences!

PurplePoppy424

@becks_726 Holy crap. That is crazy!! I can’t imagine being her actual family right now. 

I’ll throw out there again that I’m happy to help with admin duties. In J17, we had an odd number of admins and we all voted on who we thought they should be. I’m currently an admin for a m14 group and we did the same thing. Three admins, all picked so that we could make the fairest to all decisions. It seems to be the best way to handle admin duties. 

episcowitch

Please add me @okayestmom12

bww_0331

I still need to jump on my desktop to officially join the PG. The app won’t let me. I have been out of town but hope to join tomorrow!

okayestmom12

Happy Sunday! Here’s who has a pending invite at this point... 



@PurplePoppy424 & @BourbonBiscuits - Sounds good! I agree that either 3 of 5 Admins would be ideal. Let’s see if anyone else wants to join us... 

allthingsgo

I’d be happy to help out with admin duties if you need anymore people. 

becks_726

@okayestmom12 also happy to help if you want a team of 5!