TTM here. This will be my third move from a BMB to FB. I’ll share what worked for the previous two groups...
- We elected “Admins” to start the FB group page. They set it up and handled all new member requests.
- On FB, the elected Admins (there were 3) set up a specific account to act as the Admin for the FB group page. All members then had to friend request that specific profile in order to receive admittance into the group.
- In order to receive admittance into the FB group, the person requesting had to provide a photo of themselves with a piece of paper with current date written on it. They also had to provide their Bump username to cross reference.
- They asked people to be honest w/ their activity here on TB and would check the “Introduce Yourself” thread to make sure they were someone who has been around a bit before allowing them in.
I’m sure I’ll think of something else we did... it was pretty seamless for both groups... My May ‘12 group is bigger than my March ‘15 group but both have been great supports through this journey. I’d consider many of them friends and feel lucky to have both FB groups in my life.
All about the FB transition. I do feel strongly about there being criteria to be invited to the private group, not to be exclusive but just in terms of stranger danger. Having an abusive ex who stalked me in person and online has made me especially wary of strangers on the internet.
That being said, I wasn't active enough in my first BMB to move to the FB group, and that was totally understandable. Our group completely died once the FB transition was complete, and it was hard because I had SO many more questions (and needed a ton more support) postpartum than when I was pregnant. I'm hopeful that once the core group of us moves over we can still make an effort to be active over here until babies are born.
I'm looking forward to it. My A14 group moved over and it died here. I wasn't comfortable with facebook back then, so I didn't even try to move even though I was active on the board.
I agree that moving over to FB can isolate folks who still need a network of support. I will hang in both places until the board comes to a natural end.
“My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage." - Aunt Frances”
It’s also my third move to FB and I agree with @okayestmom12. My previous moves have gone similarly and have largely worked well.
My concerns largely are around privacy and who is allowed to join. Lurking here is one thing - lurking in a FB group just doesn’t really work given the increase in personal information shared by nature of the tool and just by way of getting to know each other more.
I don’t want to make this an exclusivity thing - that’s not what this is about - but if you’re not active and sharing here at a certain point, there should be a cut off. To get support you’ve got to give support and be at least a semi active member of the community.
My J17 group went to a private group on TB sometime during 3rd tri and then went to fb after babies were born. We required at least a weekly post in the PG. Not everyone could join the PG - more just if you were active, so lurkers and people who caused drama were not added. The lurkers could eventually if they came out of obscurity on the main page (most of the PG still posted on both).
I liked the move to PG first and felt much more comfortable posting there than I do on the regular page. I liked the privacy and the admins were members of the group, not BGs. I felt like we really got to know each other on the PG before actually sharing who we really are on fb.
Eta: I’ve only been randomly active here so take my opinion with a grain of salt. I’m trying to be more active bc my J17 group was great help, especially in those early months!
With my bump group, the vast majority of people that moved over to FB, did it late in the 3rd tri/ once babies were being born. I do like people not only to have bump name but to have been actively participated, aka no one who has posted once then never returned. My bump group on fb, we have a similiar format of how we operate the FB group to the bump, with daily threads of mostly the same categories. I feel it cuts down on the clutter.
@BourbonBiscuits- Yes, please stay active here until the babies come! I am not on FB and despise it and am uncertain whether I will create a fake account to be on it for this (for a bunch of boring reasons). I have Facebook ptsd or something. Don’t leave now! I need you guys!
I will stay here until the BMB comes to whatever conclusion. I'm not on Facebook and will never be so this will be it for me. The last time I was on a BMB it seemed like things cooled down after the first 6 months or so after the babies came. Life took over I guess! I know that's why I stopped posting. Just no time. And I had a serious personal issue with comparing myself to the other moms that seemed to have it more together than I did. When I bowed out it had a lot to do with my own mental health.
Just another non-FB user here, hoping that y'all will stay active over here until the babies come. And also, any chance we can move things to a non-FB platform? I'm going to miss you all!
I’ll stay on both probably through mat leave FWIW - but once I’m back at work with three kids under 5, I can make no promises I can keep up with TB and FB.
This is my third BMB transition to FB. My M14 group moved right after the babies were born and they didn’t have PGs then. As @ginger1228 already pointed out, we moved to a PG first before ultimately switching to FB. I’m good with either option at this point. My J17 group had some regular drama starters that we all agreed weren’t people we wanted to follow us to FB. Plus, we hadn’t had any real debates up to that point. The PG gave everyone the security to share more before switching to FB and I really enjoyed getting to know everyone better before moving that way. I fully admit that I would be willing to share more in a private group than on this main board. Things like pictures and names in particular make me nervous here. I think at this point, we haven’t had any crazy people that would be considered regulars, so I’d be okay with a straight move to FB. I do like some of the security things that people have posted above, though. There definitely needs to be rules. Not to exclude, but to keep it to people who are known around here.
I’ll likely stay on both FB and the board until the board dies. FTM with 6 months mat leave, so I’ll have more time than all you S&T TMs. Keeping up with the same people in two different places sounds like a waste of precious time if you have more than one kid and also work!
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
Can we consider non-FB options for moving to a private group? I'm excited about having a private forum where I don't worry about randos seeing my posts, but I'm sad about the prospect of losing non FB users in the move. We've got a number of active people here who aren't on FB. I've got a FB account, but I really hate logging in and using it, and I sort of hate the idea of having to log into FB to participate in this group. Does anyone know of any good non-FB private group alternatives?
As far as a non-FB platform, my Knottie group from many, many moons ago went from The Knot to forumotion.com. It was okay enough... personally, I prefer FB for groups of this nature and selfishly speaking, I like the potential for having my 3 BMB’s in the same spot. Ha!
Another vote for hanging around till after the babies babies are born for those who refuse to come to FB. I mean... I’ll judge you for it silently but will still visit to support you and see your cute babies 😜
And... re: lurkers... Neither of my other two BMB’s tolerated them. It’s understood that life happens but it doesn’t take more than 2 seconds to check in on a Daily Randoms post so we know you’re around.
Like @kayjay44 said, you’ve got to give support to get support.
We actually did a purge recently in my first BMB because there were people that none of us (or not many of us) even remembered. We’ve been together for over FIVE years now (1 on TB, 4 on FB) and I still rely on these women to get through my day.
I never moved with my oct 15 BMB but it also wasn’t very active or organized to begin with. I’m an active FB user so I’m down with moving but I’ll also stay on TB until it dies down
I agree with @jessier19 that maybe we should look into another private forum (even just a test run) for those that don’t want to go onto FB. I don’t mind going though I’m not on there much anymore but I don’t want to lose people who have been active and supportive in the migration. I have heard good things about the slack app. You can create different topics to post under to keep things orgianzied and it’s private and not buggy. Maybe we can try that? Or if someone knows a better app?
Also, since I have never been on a BMB on Facebook, how do the weekly threads work? Does it ever get confusing and cluttered? Its’ set up is so different than a forum I’m curious how it would be set up.
I agree it would be nice to have a screening process as well for security and privacy issues.
@allthingsgo - we have a weekly randoms thread and usually a daily themed thread. Other specific threads right now include things like Christmas ideas, thanksgiving planning, TTC, Pregnancy... that’s off the top of my head.
@kayjay44 oh ok. So are certain people in charge of each one like here? And then those people just write a post with that topic as the content and then people comment on it?
On our bump FB group we have a fairly active crowd, so we have 3 or 4 randoms threads during the week, just because when there's too many comments it gets busy. We had a Monday mommy and me, pics of mommy and baby, when the babes were little was, Tummy Time Tuesday, We occasionally have a Bitchfest Monday, occasionally a UO Thursday, FFFC Fridays. Just for an example.
@allthingsgo - usually, it’s the same people posting the threads except maybe the seasonal and temporaryones (holidays, birthday party themes, potty training, starting solids, etc) where someone posts about it when they start thinking about it.
I didn't make the transition to a private group with my last BMB. It was D14, did they even go somewhere, or just crawl back under their rocks @madreofdragons? I'm definitely for a FB group, but sad at the prospect of losing some of yall! I will also stay active in TB and FB through maternity leave, but ultimately I won't be able to keep up with everyone long term without a more stable outlet.
Third time mom, this will be my third bump to Facebook transition. I prefer Facebook, as it is the main way I can communicate. I look forward to know everyone better.
My other two bmbs moved over around the third trimester.
For the first group, one admin friended everyone who showed an interest and invited them to a private group.
For the second group, there was a thread on the bump where everyone would post that they were interested and if they got 5 love tits they were PMed information on how to get in. Many women called it a “popularity contest” but whatever. It kept it from being too random.
Admins were volunteers. I’m an admin in my J17 group.
@allthingsgo my o14 group used to be unique posts, which I didn’t mind at all. My j17 group has daily randoms as well as a weekly pregnancy/postpartum chat, a bfing thread, meal planning, exercise, hdbd, and more.
Ditto to what @kayjay44 said about threads/ who starts them.
For my May ‘12 group, it is a bit more free for all these days (we’ve been together 7 years now) but back when we started, we had specific threads.
For my March ‘15 group, we have a Daily Random, Weekend Random, and then HDBD, Mommy & Me, Daddy & Me, UO, or other random ones (like someone will start a meal planning one or something like that). The threads aren’t assigned and whoever gets to it first thing in the AM, goes for it.
@allthingsgo I use Slack with another online community I’m on and it’s great. It’s more of a chat room, and I know a lot of people use it for work, but it’s good for keeping up with people too. The people I talk to only use one channel so the whole thing is just one long, continuous conversation, but I think it’s possible to create different channels/topics for better organization. Image, gif and video sharing is really easy too. I’d be up for it!
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
@grebretso glad you have had a good experience with it! My husband actually suggested it. He uses it for creative collaboration with friends. From your description it sounds like the board’s format may transfer easily over there.
Maybe we can all do a trial run there and see how we like it? Perhaps a poll to see how much interest we have in the test run? What’s everyone’s thoughts?
@allthingsgo I think I'll prefer FB, but I'm willing to try a format to please the masses. It may help in weeding out some of the lurkers as well before hypothetically moving to FB.
Just a thought, hopefully this won't happen. in my previous bump group, one girl was added from bump to FB, that all she used both boards for was to constantly complain, she never participated in supporting others, or even posting pics of her and her kid on the threads on FB. Personally at one point, I even wondered if she was emotionally neglecting her baby because she was always complaining. If people offered her advice, she had a million reasons why it wouldn't work/ she wouldn't take the advice. Eventually there was a vote and the FB group admins dropped her from the group.
I’d prefer not to use Slack personally - I use it for work and to talk to DH during the day and I don’t think it will be as useful. And I need to get off of it by the end of the day or I will end up checking work Slack and will lose my ever loving mind.
I'm ok with Slack, but prefer Facebook. Either way, I intentionally undershare here because it's public and you don't know who is lurking, so a private platform would be great.
I’m excited for the move to FB to keep things more private, I’ll still stay on the Bump app thru the end though. Totally agree with @okayestmom12 about the rules to make sure it is safe/secure.
I’m typically anti-FB but I did reactivate to share news of my dad soooo I guess it wouldn’t be too difficult for me to just keep it if that’s the decision everyone agrees with.
I do think for groups FB is prob best. Until I left I had been with an old Nest group since 2009 or 2010. We migrated to Proboards after the exodus but it was short lived and then we FB migrated. It actually was a lot easier to keep up with everyone that was and was more streamlined than proboards. It was really nice to get to know people a bit more personally since a lot of people worry about the privacy of public forums.
I agree @megpants209, I don’t think Slack would be a good Facebook substitute, but it would be a nice supplement. Conversation flows easier in a chat room environment, but it’s harder to keep track of things there even if organized by subjects. With the majority of people being on Facebook to begin with it would be a more natural transition, so:
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
FB seems like the most straightforward and I'm fine with it. I doubt we'll find one thing that appeals to everyone but I think we can make the effort to explore alternatives.
I will definitely feel more comfortable to share in a private group. Just today I had an incredibly timely reminder of how creepy some people can be on the internet. (I have to leave for my yoga class in a minute or I would be typing up a novel right now!)
I know I showed up to this BMB realllly late, but if I were allowed to stick with y’all, this would be my second BMB to FB transition. I felt like real communication became so much easier once the group was smaller and in the FB format (maybe because I’m always mobile Bumping and have a terrible time with this app). The ladies that migrated from our Aug ‘14 board have stayed really close, but I know our BMB suffered after the exodus. I’m willing to explore other forums/apps, but don’t have experience with any that are as easy to navigate at FB.
Re: Movin’ on up... to Facebook
- We elected “Admins” to start the FB group page. They set it up and handled all new member requests.
- On FB, the elected Admins (there were 3) set up a specific account to act as the Admin for the FB group page. All members then had to friend request that specific profile in order to receive admittance into the group.
- In order to receive admittance into the FB group, the person requesting had to provide a photo of themselves with a piece of paper with current date written on it. They also had to provide their Bump username to cross reference.
- They asked people to be honest w/ their activity here on TB and would check the “Introduce Yourself” thread to make sure they were someone who has been around a bit before allowing them in.
I’m sure I’ll think of something else we did... it was pretty seamless for both groups... My May ‘12 group is bigger than my March ‘15 group but both have been great supports through this journey. I’d consider many of them friends and feel lucky to have both FB groups in my life.
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
That being said, I wasn't active enough in my first BMB to move to the FB group, and that was totally understandable. Our group completely died once the FB transition was complete, and it was hard because I had SO many more questions (and needed a ton more support) postpartum than when I was pregnant. I'm hopeful that once the core group of us moves over we can still make an effort to be active over here until babies are born.
I agree that moving over to FB can isolate folks who still need a network of support. I will hang in both places until the board comes to a natural end.
My concerns largely are around privacy and who is allowed to join. Lurking here is one thing - lurking in a FB group just doesn’t really work given the increase in personal information shared by nature of the tool and just by way of getting to know each other more.
I don’t want to make this an exclusivity thing - that’s not what this is about - but if you’re not active and sharing here at a certain point, there should be a cut off. To get support you’ve got to give support and be at least a semi active member of the community.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
I liked the move to PG first and felt much more comfortable posting there than I do on the regular page. I liked the privacy and the admins were members of the group, not BGs. I felt like we really got to know each other on the PG before actually sharing who we really are on fb.
Eta: I’ve only been randomly active here so take my opinion with a grain of salt. I’m trying to be more active bc my J17 group was great help, especially in those early months!
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
Another vote for hanging around till after the babies babies are born for those who refuse to come to FB. I mean... I’ll judge you for it silently but will still visit to support you and see your cute babies 😜
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
Like @kayjay44 said, you’ve got to give support to get support.
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
Also, since I have never been on a BMB on Facebook, how do the weekly threads work? Does it ever get confusing and cluttered? Its’ set up is so different than a forum I’m curious how it would be set up.
I agree it would be nice to have a screening process as well for security and privacy issues.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
I'm definitely for a FB group, but sad at the prospect of losing some of yall! I will also stay active in TB and FB through maternity leave, but ultimately I won't be able to keep up with everyone long term without a more stable outlet.
My other two bmbs moved over around the third trimester.
For the first group, one admin friended everyone who showed an interest and invited them to a private group.
For the second group, there was a thread on the bump where everyone would post that they were interested and if they got 5 love tits they were PMed information on how to get in. Many women called it a “popularity contest” but whatever. It kept it from being too random.
Admins were volunteers. I’m an admin in my J17 group.
For my May ‘12 group, it is a bit more free for all these days (we’ve been together 7 years now) but back when we started, we had specific threads.
For my March ‘15 group, we have a Daily Random, Weekend Random, and then HDBD, Mommy & Me, Daddy & Me, UO, or other random ones (like someone will start a meal planning one or something like that). The threads aren’t assigned and whoever gets to it first thing in the AM, goes for it.
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
Maybe we can all do a trial run there and see how we like it? Perhaps a poll to see how much interest we have in the test run? What’s everyone’s thoughts?
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
I just voted “I’d prefer FB in the poll” but that’s not to say I’m 100% opposed to going to Slack. I’d just pick FB over another platform.
MMC 2.12.11 @ 8w
PVM 5.8.12
GWM 3.17.15
RPM 2.21.19
I do think for groups FB is prob best. Until I left I had been with an old Nest group since 2009 or 2010. We migrated to Proboards after the exodus but it was short lived and then we FB migrated. It actually was a lot easier to keep up with everyone that was and was more streamlined than proboards. It was really nice to get to know people a bit more personally since a lot of people worry about the privacy of public forums.
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
I will definitely feel more comfortable to share in a private group. Just today I had an incredibly timely reminder of how creepy some people can be on the internet. (I have to leave for my yoga class in a minute or I would be typing up a novel right now!)