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January 2019 Moms
galactickates
member
Let's talk... Labor Support
galactickates
member
I was hoping to have a discussion about labor support.
Feel free to openly answer these questions it's not a template just to help facilitate conversation and i'm just curious
Who are you planning on being your labor support?
Have you taken classes with this person/ people or planning on it?
STMs - who was your previous support and how helpful/non helpful were they?
What are you planning on doing differently this time?
You can all thank the online birthing classes ive been watching for this thread
Feel free to openly answer these questions it's not a template just to help facilitate conversation and i'm just curious
Who are you planning on being your labor support?
Have you taken classes with this person/ people or planning on it?
STMs - who was your previous support and how helpful/non helpful were they?
What are you planning on doing differently this time?
You can all thank the online birthing classes ive been watching for this thread
Re: Let's talk... Labor Support
Who are you planning on being your labor support? My wife and our doula. No one else allowed in the hospital, let alone the delivery room. Stay home, grandparents!
Have you taken classes with this person/ people or planning on it? Yes! We took a Bradley-style birth education class and loved the doula. She has some crunchier, hippie-style ideas that we aren't into, but they all involve personal choices for the kid AFTER it's born, so it's really none of her business what we do. Things like anti-circumcision and anti-vaccines. They never tell you flat out these are wrong, just encourage you to watch long documentaries and read articles which seem to support both sides, but ultimately support those anti-beliefs. Whatever, I'm vaccinating and circumcising my son. Strike me down now, Lord!
What we love most about our doula (and what I've loved about doulas for years) is the calm, natural approach to childbirth. Not even just the encouragement to go natural vs. medicated, but just the overall belief that women have been giving birth since literally the beginning of human existence and we are designed to do it. I left the Bradley class feeling extremely empowered in my body's ability to grow life and eventually birth this kid. No matter what birth ends up looking like for me, I will be empowered because I know how to advocate for myself and know this is MY body and MY experience to shape. My wife feels empowered as a support person and was excited to learn pain management techniques, as well as generally learn more about the process of pregnancy.
The doula explained to us how she sees her job: to help my wife help me have a successful labor and delivery, and to have me not even realize she's there with us. I love that!
My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone)
IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN
HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear!
IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019
Have you taken classes with this person/ people or planning on it? My labor prep classes start next week!
And we will also have a personal session at home with my doulas (I have two but likely only one at a time attending...tag team!) where we will go over some of the same stuff from a typical birth class but from a comfort management perspective... and discuss birth plan and how we want to be supported and etc.
Y'all we are in the home stretch!!
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
Epidural! Lol DH and my mom will be in the delivery room.
Have you taken classes with this person/ people or planning on it?
Not this time around. We took a crash course with DS and I remember all the breathing techniques to get me through the early parts of labor.
STMs - who was your previous support and how helpful/non helpful were they?
DH for the most part. By the time my mom got to the hospital I already had my sweet epidural.
What are you planning on doing differently this time?
Nothing really. I just go with the flow.
only family member in the delivery room).
We didn’t take any classes last time (no regrets).
DH is a football coach, so I had a talk with him beforehand about being encouraging during labor and not talking to me like he would his players, like, “Don’t be a pansy! Toughen up!” 😆 He was really encouraging and kept telling me I was a rockstar and doing a great job.
I asked him to make a labor playlist, but I ended up not wanting any music on when I was in labor.
He fed me ice chips, which was amazing, but this time, I’m bringing my own huge cup because we ran out of ice while I was pushing and that was when I needed it the most.
DS1: May 2016
DS2: Jan 2019
Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
I do think he’s learned from most of these mistakes from my harping on them since then, so hopefully he won’t make them again.
My induction was 45 hours, and my parents came in and out a few times (and I even let the ILs in once or twice) in the earlier stages to help me pass the time. And I was grateful for it.
i imagine the ILs will he occupied with DD this time. Since they’re currently renting an apartment in the area and watching her regularly, they seem like the logical choice there.
If its it’s looking like another induction, and my parents are already in the area, I may ask my mom to be the primary person there with me during the early stages and elect to have H stay with DD and spend some time with her. I would like H to be there for the actual birth and time immediately after though.
if it’s a spontaneous labor thing, I don’t know!
TTC #2: April 2018 ~~ BFP: May 2018 ~~ EDD: January 2019
No classes. We'll likely go tour the hospital since we're delivering at a new place this time. This time I'll be more focused on after birth with delaying his clean up and skin to skin time and such.
DH annoyed me last time and I actually kicked him out for a while. lol I was just tired though.
DS 05/29/2013
M/C 02/14/2017
M/C 06/05/2017
C/P 03/01/2018
BFP 05/17/2018 EDD 01/27/2019
Last night I was watching a birthing class and my H came up to bed and started watching with me. He was not wanting to do any classes but I think after watching the video he is singing another tune. @dragonette505 I watched the Holliday Tyson ones but I found another one link in spoiler that I liked even more. Hopefully that link worked.
I think he thought that he wouldn't have to do anything and that nurses did it all but he heard the lady in the class say "from there on, you're on your own. You'll have nurse come once an hour to check on you" he kept saying "how are you going to remember all of this?" I said I'm not, you are!
I'm actually not scared of the pain. I know I can get pain meds at any point. I'm mostly scared about complications. I really highly recommend that YouTube video I shared.
Just started your vid... love that the baby at the start kinda looks like cartman from southpark!
DH and I now own rental properties rented out via Airbnb so I will need to have a talk with him about answering guest questions during labor and delivery......
As far as support while laboring I was only in the hospital with contractions for about 2 hour before I go my epidural. So much happened in that time like registration and getting set up in my room that the time went fast. It I have to labor longer in the hospital I Hope my husband does a good job at supporting me. If not my mom is only 20 minutes away and would probably be there in 15. lol
DH and I have been taking a pretty extensive doula birthing class, and we watch 1 to a handful of births each class. It’s been very good. DH is also reading The Birth Partner and probably knows more about my cervix and delivery than me now.
For birth prep, I watched a 3 hour class online and have read the birth sections of several books I have, but the most significant prep so far has been starting Hypnobabies (a 6+ week birth hypnosis home course) about 1 week ago. They have homework, and you listen to positive pregnancy affirmations and a different 30 min hypnosis track every day. It sometimes seems a little “woo” or cheesy at times, but I kind of love it and it’s already helped ease my fears and feel more positive about pregnancy, my body, birth, etc. I’ve also met with the doula and she helped so much, and we’ll continue to meet and go over various relaxation techniques and tools she has at her disposal.
Overall I’ve turned my attitude about birth around from fear to positive anticipation of the experience, despite whatever discomfort will ensue. Thankful for my doula and Hypnobabies for that. And my supportive H who is going along these plans and doing what he can. The midwives at the hospital are also really cool and open to a wide variety of birthing styles and have a lot of optional tools to use, so I am thankful for them as well. Btw- I’m planning a natural birth but am also open to whatever happens.
We took the hospital birth class. It was one day with everything crammed in. I would definitely say the most useful and probably only useful info we got was the practice of breathing techniques. I'm glad we endured a full day just for that info as that was the only thing I could do for pain management.
We're not doing any classes this time because nothing has changed: same doctor, same hospital etc. I'll plan and pack a labor bag but I'm not anticipating on using it. The only thing I used last time was our Bluetooth speaker.
DH and I took a childbirth class at our hospital that was incredibly encouraging and really made me feel excited about giving birth. We discussed pain management techniques and there was a lot of time given for us to practice the techniques with our support person. Many of them were similar to what I read about in Birthing From Within, but some were completely new to us.
As as far as who is allowed to visit the hospital, I honestly don’t care who comes. I’m a pretty open person so if my family or friends want to stop by I’m cool with that. My dad will likely be at my house watching DD, DS, and taking care of our dogs until baby girl is born but will bring them to the hospital once she arrives.
BFP April 24, 2018 | EDD December 29, 2018
There will definitely be some element of reassessing as I see how things are going, though, because it’s possible DH won’t want to be “alone” at the end...he’s so nervous about everything! We are doing a Prepared Childbirth class later this month, so I’m hoping he’ll feel a bit more confident and prepared after that.
Along with a couple private sessions with our doula, we are also taking a Bradley Class with another doula from the same group, and did the hospital birth and breastfeeding classes. Being prepared and educated always makes me feel much more confident about new situations so it’s helping me to feel good. I’m trying not to overthink or overplan too much though since I know so much varies from person to person.
DH was my labor support last time and will again this time. My mom made it last time just in time for pushing, but she was there to take photos so she wasn't really labor support. We didn't take any classes last time and didn't feel like we were missing anything. I watched a lot of youtube beforehand and read blogs and whatnot, so I felt prepared. DH looked into what labor supports do, so he had a few tricks up his sleeve, too, that we ended up not needing anyway.
The one thing we DIDN'T know, but didn't end up being an issue, was about the pushing part. Dr said, "you took classes, right?" and when I said no she said, "Ok. You're in charge of when you push. When you feel the height of your contractions and feel the strongest urge to push, tell us and DH will count to ten while you push. NO breathing during pushing, no noises, just take a deep breath and push for 10 seconds. After 10 seconds breathe until your next contraction." That's it. So that's what we did, and it worked.
Only times I was annoyed was when my mom had questions about the DSLR camera and DH had to help her quick and I suddenly needed him, which happened once or twice. And my mom took random breaks from photos to send "real time updates" to a message group of family members that I didn't know about beforehand. My mom thought it was so fun and cool and everyone was so into it....but it drove me nuts to see my mom on her phone occasionally in the corner of my eye while I'm over here birthing her first grandchild. Next time, I'll be open from the start. If she's going to be in there again and taking photos, NO phones.
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
i read that book years ago when I did doula training myself, so that was the one book I’ve asked him to read.... short and useful!
BFP April 24, 2018 | EDD December 29, 2018
Some people love having lots of people
thete for labor support. I don’t. I want My husband there, as he had been for all of them. But even with him, I don’t want him talking to me or touching me unless I ask him to. I want him close by for if I need anything, and just to feel that he’s there. And I want the midwife there, too. I like how our midwife (the same one who has delivered our other 3) is very hands off unless/until hands on are needed. I’ve found I pretty much like to be left alone, with just my husband being quietly nearby.
Have you taken classes with this person/ people or planning on it?
We did with our first pregnancy. For the ther ones, I just review the intro from class and re-read all of our childbirth books. (Birthing From Within has been my favorite, though I have found some of the hypnobirthing techniques helpful as well.)
STMs - who was your previous support and how helpful/non helpful were they?
My husband was very helpful. He pushed on my back for hours with our first, when i needed him to. He actually caught our second baby when we waited too long to call the midwife. I liked knowing that he was close and available for me, but didn’t try to chat with me, or require anything of me. I felt like I could fully focus on laboring and not having to make sure he was okay. And that he was focused on me and what I needed and wanted.
What are you planning on doing differently this time?
Nothing, really. I plan to do plenty of spinning babies exercises to help the baby be in the most optimal position for birth, like I did with our last 2. I plan to take Christopher’s Birth Prep again like I did last time. I plan to use the shower and a large tub like I did last time. For me, I have felt like the shower has helped to speed my labor along, and the birthing tub, while relaxing and helpful in many ways, seems to slow things down. So I do plan to spend more time in the shower earlier on, and to save the birthing tub until closer to the end. I love water when I’m laboring. I plan to have my exercise ball available for sitting on, leaning over, or whatever. Oh, and I really liked my labor music list last time. I’m going to try tweak it a bit. I’m just hoping I birth in the middle of the night again so that the older kids sleep through it.
Really I just plan to have lots of things available that I may want (birthing tub, music playlist, exercise ball) and then listen to my body when I’m in labor. I won’t feel
pressured to use everything I’ve prepared, but will if I feel like it at the time.
DH, and our hospital has a free doula program- you don't get to pick who the doula will be or meet them ahead of time and there's no follow up with that doula, but it was nice to have an experienced person in the room to help DH help me. (And last time, the doula I got was the lady that taught our baby classes so we did actually know her.)
Have you taken classes with this person/ people or planning on it?
We did with DD, but aren't doing any this time. With DD, we took a class on childbirth that was one night a week for four weeks and then a newborn care class that was 6 hours on a Saturday. I also watched all the childbirth class videos on the babycenter website and I liked those too. Mostly I wanted DH to take the classes with me so that it wasn't ME telling him what to do all the time- he had his own knowledge from taking the classes.
STMs - who was your previous support and how helpful/non helpful were they?
DH was in the room, and helped me when I needed it, but he mostly left me alone- which is what I wanted! I just needed to be in my zone, doing my thing. DH helped me get up and get to the toilet a few times during labor (but I don't think anything actually came out once I sat down, I just kept feeling alllll the pressure) and he held the cup so I could drink some water. He also ended up signing some of the forms the hospital needed because I got the point where I just ignored everyone who tried to talk to me and kept my eyes closed. When I finally said I wanted an epidural, he very sweetly asked me if I was sure, because I had been saying the whole pregnancy that I wanted to do it without meds.
The only thing that bugged me was that MIL was in the room for most of labor and she and DH sat there and chatted about work while I was laboring. As much as it bothered me, I was so focused that I never said anything. I'm trying to make it clear to DH this time that I DO NOT want her in the room (which will be hard because she is a nursing supervisor at the hospital and none of the nurses would tell her to leave).
What are you planning on doing differently this time?
I think maybe I will have DH wait to call his parents until we are already at the hospital- last time, we called them to say my water broke and we were going in, but then it took us 45 minutes to get out the door and they beat us there! That made it harder to tell MIL to get out of the room lol.
DD- 11/2016
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
Also, I'm on the no phones train. No updates on FB either. Not until I've had a chance to have the baby and call people and send pictures to immediate family out of state. Then FB can know.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
Have you taken classes with this person/ people or planning on it? Nope. Just wingin' it
STMs - who was your previous support and how helpful/non helpful were they? Just DH. I was very adament about not wanting additional people in the room while I was delivering but was fine with our moms coming in while I was in labor as long as they understood they had to leave when I said.
What are you planning on doing differently this time? Same plan.
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19
Im a FTM and plan on only having DH in the room. I dont want to tell anyone we are at the hospital until after the baby is born and im ready for visitors. The thought of having a bunch of people waiting at the hospital while im in labor gives me anxiety. And i plan on being a mess, physically and emotionally, and i dont need an audience for that 😆
Im not taking a birth class. Ive heard a lot of mixed reviews and decided its better to wing it!
Our teacher last night also brought up an interesting point (bc we are definitely Team Nobody Else But Us There): the partner (DH) might need support too, especially if something goes wrong or if a decision needs to be made. That's a lot of stress for him, and really made us think. Not sure if we'll add anyone to the mix, but I didn't consider that before.
Andrea -- FTM at 39!