@mag1cbeli3ver good for you for not checking! I look almost every day!
Re blankets: I know we will be getting a lot. My MIL and SIL both crochet and my MIL has already made a baby blanket and a "carseat blanket" that is summosed to go under the straps/between the baby that I told her isn't safe and we're not using. I'm assuming SIL will aslo be making some kind of blanket. I think my mom is also making a quilt. These are the ones that I'm on board with (minus the car seat one). They are from close family and take time and effort. Above and beyond that, though, i'm good. Stick to the registry, people!
@mag1cbeli3ver you are better than me, I look every day like @morgantu and @countrygirl624! I even started a thank you note list based on the people who don't click the "anonymous" button when they shop so that's a few less things to write down the day of the shower!
Here’s the blanket and other items my SIL made - love!! And my favorite newborn onesie I got Saturday. LO got so many cute things and several unicorn outfits in different sizes!
This is my second so no shower for me, although a sprinkle would have been nice because it's a girl. I had told everyone no shower though, so it's my own fault. I didn't think I'd want one! I hate being the center of attention. I think we may do a sip n' see after the holidays though!
I'm so excited for you ladies. Love the gifts! We started receiving gifts from friends and family that are away and it's the highlight of my day . Hubby is excited too, especially since someone bought him the dad diaper bag he wanted 😂. We tried to wait til after the baby shower, which is this Saturday, open the gifts but umm... we couldn't resist. Excited about our baby shower but nervous about all the attention.
I’m jealous of everyone’s showers. I had mine for ds1 and then a little work one for ds2 (which I didn’t really feel comfortable with). I wish I could relive ds1’s - not for the gifts, but it was fun celebrating with my friends and family. Enjoy all your showers ladies! Eat all the food and cake.
Totally also registry stalk. Guilty as charged. I’ve had to add some more things. My friends threw me a small shower here where we live now, and my family is throwing one back in my home state in November. The one here was a sports theme.
@texas_t lol, I am too. I made the baby one of those little fleece blankets you make by knotting 2 pieces of fleece together. I was insanely proud of myself, lmao.
Also a registry stalker! I am excited to see what people bring that isn't on the registry. Some of my family members are notorious for purposely ignoring a registry!
@k_m10 Those are the best for tummy time because they stay put really well! My sister my DS1 when he was a baby and we used it all the time. I really love muslin blankets and have about 45,000 Tula blankets
My Aunt who missed my shower last weekend (car troubles - she was so bummed) sent me my gift. How sweet is all this stuff - the matching onesies and bibs ... I can’t even!
Is it bad if I don't have a shower? My aunts and cousins love showers and people keep asking me about it and yeah it'd be nice if they got us something, but I honestly don't know if I have the mental/emotional fortitude for an actual shower right now. The thought of having a shower while no longer pregnant and while John is in the NICU is very upsetting to me for some reason. I'm already really overwhelmed with people calling/texting me and I'm skipping weddings and some various other family get-togethers while he's here because I just don't think I can handle the mental energy of being social plus having everyone constantly asking about how things are going (my own mother is driving me insane with this - I know she's incredibly excited about her first grandchild but she texts me like 48549300384 times a day asking me how things are going and how John is. He's a baby - he's just laying there). Plus I'm just tired af and just don't want to deal with it. I know I wouldn't be doing any of the "work," but it will still require quite a bit of effort for me. Am I being unreasonable? Should I just suck it up and do it?
@hkom You totally shouldn't feel bad about not wanting to have a shower. I TOTALLY understand not wanting to while your son is in the NICU. I would hope your family would understand.
@hkom I completely understand how you would be feeling that way. Why don't you suggest a party/gathering to be held a month or two AFTER John comes home from the NICU? That way people can see you and baby and bring gifts at that point if they wish. Re: events - if you can't handle them, don't go! You still need to be taking care of yourself.
@hkom I think it's perfectly reasonable that you wouldn't want a shower. I also don't think you owe anyone an explanation why you don't want one but maybe if they won't back off you can remind them that what you went through/are going through is not easy and you don't have the desire to be social or tell the same story about John or his birth 100x.
@hkom You gotta do what’s best for you and your family- period. Plenty of people have showers after the baby is born even when baby comes on their due date. You shouldn’t stress. Tell your family you’d like to have your shower after the holidays- if that’s what you want. My cousin had her shower (first baby) with our family in May and her daughter was full term born in March. And guess what - it was just as fun AND we all got to hold the baby. *Hugs*
I would love to do an open house "sip and see" type thing once he's been home for a while. But I feel like that might be crazy to do during the winter with a preemie. I would be so paranoid about germs. I guess I would just have to be really strict about people washing/sanitizing their hands and wouldn't allow anyone to hold him or touch his face.
@hkom Screw the shower! If folks are still bugging you, have the Sip ’n’ See in January or February when John is settled at home and you guys have adjusted Also, tell your mum that she’s not helping by texting all of the damn time.
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
Team no shower! @hkom if you were my friend/family I wouldn’t think for a second if you didn’t want people around until John was six months old or even older. If people give you push back then just do some education around how potentially dangerous winter/cold season can be with a premie. The bottom line is the shower is to shower the mother and if you don’t want it- don’t have it. The only potential downfall about waiting a while is you might have to buy stuff instead of getting gifts for the big stuff (crib, dresser, car seats, etc) that are more expensive. If you don’t care then who gives AF.
I agree with everyone @hkom. You definitely don't have to do a shower if you don't want to! And tell your mom to stop texting all the time. I'd just let her know that you'll send her updates as you get them, but that those probably won't be every day. The last thing you need right now is added stress, so don't be afraid to tell people to leave you alone. I also really like @morgantu's suggestion of a half birthday party! It'll be March, flu season winding down, and John will be much older and able to deal with any potential germs (though still make people wash hands if you want!)
@hkom I’m with everyone else - if you don’t want it, don’t do it. If you want to do something after he’s home and maybe after cold and flu season (totally get not wanting to do anything at that point), then plan something at that point. Right now you have to focus on what’s best for you and your family.
@hkom I agree with everyone else that you need to do whatever you are comfortable with. A shower should be something you are excited about and not something that adds more to your plate. Is your family reasonable enough that you could send out an email or something explaining your feelings? If anything, I would go ahead and blame the doctors. Say that they do not recommend that he be passed around until he has certain vaccines or reaches a certain age.
Are you all giving your hosts a gift? If so, care to share your ideas. Last time I had a rather large shower thrown by my mom, her best friend and bunch of friends and family helped out too. I bought all of them porch lanterns and filled them with wine and goodies. This time a few of the same girls are hosting a sprinkle. It should be about 12 of us. I was thinking gift cards to the spa we go but it seems impersonal.
@LLynde5 if there's a theme, could you do something related to That? Mine is ta co themed and we're using fiesta ware dishes to serve. Gonna gift my hostess a set of fiestaware serving bowls
@LLynde5 my mom and MIL hosted my shower for DD. I got them their own diaper bag and filled it with a few diapers/ wipes. I know it's probably not relevant your situation. With that said, spa day sounds great!
@hkom I totally love @morgantu's half birthday idea. That way you and John are settled, and germs aren't as plentiful. If people can't understand, that's on them, and you definitely don't owe any explanation.
If people are really up your butt and expecting text updates all the time, you can just tell them cell phones are off limits in the NICU to prevent germs (this actually was the case when my niece was in the NICU) and/or you are limiting your phone usage to really be in the moment and bond with baby. My sister sometimes doesn't respond to texts or calls until 3 days later and no one thinks anything of it.
Thanks everyone. I'm still trying to decide what to do, but I think it'll definitely be something well after he comes home. We have almost all of the big items we need thanks to ourselves and immediate family, so I'm not too worried about getting tons more things ahead of time.
@scaredunprepared It takes me days to respond to people's texts, and I'm not even doing it on purpose. I used to wonder why some texts to friends would go unanswered, and the other day I realized that the thing all of these friends have in common is that they are moms. I get it now.
@hkom lol. Wearing a fitbit has definitely helped me to realize I have a text message. However if it isn’t important I’m not going to stop what I’m doing to go find my phone and respond.
@LLynde5 I was just thinking this morning I should get my SIL something since she planned my shower yesterday. Apparently she told my husband he should’ve got her a yeti tumbler (he got himself one and she saw it for the first time when she was here for the shower) and was kind of shitty about it. I was thinking of getting her a spa gift card- ha! I’ll think of something.
Here’s some pics I got from yesterday - shower was great even though my niece and nephew were annoying me. We had a good turn out and food was yummy!! Also I got a ton more blankets ..... lol.
Re: Baby Shower Thread
Re blankets: I know we will be getting a lot. My MIL and SIL both crochet and my MIL has already made a baby blanket and a "carseat blanket" that is summosed to go under the straps/between the baby that I told her isn't safe and we're not using. I'm assuming SIL will aslo be making some kind of blanket. I think my mom is also making a quilt. These are the ones that I'm on board with (minus the car seat one). They are from close family and take time and effort. Above and beyond that, though, i'm good. Stick to the registry, people!
+1 on daily registry stalking
BFP #1: 7/15/15, SB: 11/14/15
Rainbow baby DS born 9/29/16!!
BFP #3 3/26/18 | Due 12/3/18
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!My friends threw me a small shower here where we live now, and my family is throwing one back in my home state in November. The one here was a sports theme.
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
@hkom Screw the shower! If folks are still bugging you, have the Sip ’n’ See in January or February when John is settled at home and you guys have adjusted Also, tell your mum that she’s not helping by texting all of the damn time.
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
DS2 due 12/12/18
If people are really up your butt and expecting text updates all the time, you can just tell them cell phones are off limits in the NICU to prevent germs (this actually was the case when my niece was in the NICU) and/or you are limiting your phone usage to really be in the moment and bond with baby. My sister sometimes doesn't respond to texts or calls until 3 days later and no one thinks anything of it.
@scaredunprepared It takes me days to respond to people's texts, and I'm not even doing it on purpose. I used to wonder why some texts to friends would go unanswered, and the other day I realized that the thing all of these friends have in common is that they are moms. I get it now.
Here’s some pics I got from yesterday - shower was great even though my niece and nephew were annoying me. We had a good turn out and food was yummy!! Also I got a ton more blankets ..... lol.