@fuscok88 yes my husband travels all over the world for work so I solo parent a good bit. It's hard and sucks at times but nowhere near in the same realm as a single mom!
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I feel like this is going to be very unpopular but I'm not a fan of the amount of backlash some of the bump users are getting for starting extra threads. Let me officially state that I've never added a thread so it doesn't pertain and has never been directed at me. HOWEVER, the group is supposed to be for support and there may be girls who just need to be nudged in the right direction rather than five people telling them to get with the program or sending side eye gifs.
With that being said, I'm not calling anyone a forum Nazi Just food for thought.
Part of the issue is that, more often than not, when gently nudged, the user who posted the standalone thread flips out and doesn't actually listen and learn. I have found that, for the most part, everyone does attempt to start with a more-or-less friendly redirection.
They've also gotten a bit out of hand lately. It's harder to be patient when it's the nth one in a short period of time.
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe DD2: October 2016 DC3: coming May 2019
Also, @kbeers13 , TB is very different from other forums such as WTE and BabyCentre. We are much more organized and we actually have a sense of community because we get to know each other. If anyone wants to create random threads asking for advice or what not and then disappear until the next time they have a question....WTE and BabyCentre are perfect for them. TB is not like that and that's how we would like to keep it.
@jarethinafrock honest question then that I always want to ask people when they get butthurt about being redirected in their posting: why did you pick the Bump vs. Babycenter or What to Expect? Those forums also don't care about board organization.
@kbeers13 Usually they just ghost in, put up a thread, then ghost their way out without ever responding. Isn't there a waiting time where they suggest you hang and see the flow of the boards? I can see being nice at the beginning because being new is hard, but it's really great when someone swoops in on like month 8 and makes a really weird question post about cervical mucus or something. By then everyone has been giving months and months of support to each other, and the knottie928347238746 gets gif-ed into another universe. It's great haha
@sleepy33 same. I wouldn't say I'm a single mom anymore this next kiddos dad is 100% involved and has completely taken on my son as his own but the first ones dad, well we didn't even hear from him 90% of my pregnancy or the entire first year so 🤷🏻♀️
@kbeers13 I think a part of it stems from the fact that TB is one of the only pregnancy boards that actually is really structured, so those of us who prefer an more organized community don’t want to see things turn into the sort of free for all you see elsewhere. Personally I find the BMBs on other communities like BabyCenter to be completely overwhelming and impossible to get to know people on. TB may not be perfect but I find it way preferable to the alternatives.
Most of the time when people get snark it’s because they have refused to take the gentle nudge they were originally given and have either persisted in opening redundant new threads or have gotten way over defensive about the situation. Most of the ladies here are pretty forgiving to newcomers who make mistakes, take the feedback and learn from it.
Also I find the use of gifs in those sort of situations to be a way to keep the tone light and fun, I’m a little confused why so many find them offensive?!
Also I find the use of gifs in those sort of situations to be a way to keep the tone light and fun, I’m a little confused why so many find them offensive?!
I’m so behind on everything... I forgot who made the bikini comment. I also do not love kids in bikinis... but if you’ve ever tried to take a wet full swimsuit off of a toddler who has to pee and then put it back on you’ll appreciate the ease of the bikini!
@k2k2tog@expandcontract@SpaceBurger@beccaneu Thanks for the feedback! I personally get overwhelmed by the amount of threads and replys on threads and find it hard to keep up so I really appreciate the structure that TB provides. It just came off as a "you can't sit with us" mentality. I can absolutely admit that I took it the wrong way.
@SpaceBurger No biggie! I totally get how it can be annoying. I just know that I am soooo thankful to have the support of so many people in this group and I want others to feel as supported as I am. ........ Speaking of why my pregnant self is crying... Happy tears of appreciation lol Geez! Gotta pull myself together.
I also love dogs. The thing is, I couldn't imagine having a toddler without a dog because the dog eats EVRYTHING THE TODDLER DROPS, and it's AWESOME!
Also, I want to add something to what @kbeers13 said. I totally understand the concept of wanting the board organized, but sometimes my brain just wants it organized another way.
For example, someone had posted a thread about nausea or something. That was my jam. That was something I wanted to read. Boom.... Right there. The way this board is organized though is that nausea is a symptom so you have to go to symptoms and then look for nausea.... Which is fine....especially if you use the search feature. That's just one way to do it.
I understand both sides...I think people are just caught off guard because they don't understand the organization.
Re: Opinions which are Unpopular
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
They've also gotten a bit out of hand lately. It's harder to be patient when it's the nth one in a short period of time.
DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe
DD2: October 2016
DC3: coming May 2019
We are much more organized and we actually have a sense of community because we get to know each other. If anyone wants to create random threads asking for advice or what not and then disappear until the next time they have a question....WTE and BabyCentre are perfect for them.
TB is not like that and that's how we would like to keep it.
I completely agree with you!
Most of the time when people get snark it’s because they have refused to take the gentle nudge they were originally given and have either persisted in opening redundant new threads or have gotten way over defensive about the situation. Most of the ladies here are pretty forgiving to newcomers who make mistakes, take the feedback and learn from it.
Also I find the use of gifs in those sort of situations to be a way to keep the tone light and fun, I’m a little confused why so many find them offensive?!
I also love dogs. The thing is, I couldn't imagine having a toddler without a dog because the dog eats EVRYTHING THE TODDLER DROPS, and it's AWESOME!
Also, I want to add something to what @kbeers13 said. I totally understand the concept of wanting the board organized, but sometimes my brain just wants it organized another way.
For example, someone had posted a thread about nausea or something. That was my jam. That was something I wanted to read. Boom.... Right there. The way this board is organized though is that nausea is a symptom so you have to go to symptoms and then look for nausea.... Which is fine....especially if you use the search feature. That's just one way to do it.
I understand both sides...I think people are just caught off guard because they don't understand the organization.
I also like turtles.