Can someone who has helped set up a group before as well as admin it give a brief overview what’s involved with doing something like this? I myself am clueless, but maybe if I knew more about it, I would find that I’m capable of doing it and can help out. Once the group is set up and people have joined, are there any responsibilities after that?
So, I like how October did theirs - I did my M14 group alone, and it was very labor intensive. Basically, we need maybe 4 or 5 admins (we like having an odd amount of admins in my M13 and M14 group for disputes, etc, even if few and far between, because something will eventually, even if years later, come up) who volunteer to screen and add people - different first letters of last names PM their assigned Admin with their FB name and description of their profile pic, the admin sends them the group (it would be private while adding people, secret once the adding is done), and the admin also checks to make sure they’re legitimately a part of our BMB and active here.
I would say I would help since I’ve done it before, but I have two other kids in extracurricular activities and a job that’s nuts right now (and an 8 pm bedtime, lol), so I would not be the most efficient person to do it, probably....
I admin a small group from my previous BMB, Im happy to help how I can. I think we can maybe simplify that process though. That seems like a ton of checks and balances. But then again I’m a pretty open person. Maybe someone sets one up and those of us that wish to join can be PMed the link. I feel like we’ll recognize the frequent posters enough and those that we don’t we can spend more time vetting.
I admin for my M17 group. We set it up as a private group, then had Bump members message us to be added to the Facebook group. We sent invites through Facebook by email address. Worked pretty well. We only added people who had actually participated in the BMB. It worked great and we have some amazing moms. Our only "rule" is that we treat and respect each other as adults. The admins our not police, we don't stop arguments or delete posts. We have an incredibly respectful, drama free culture and can have healthy disagreements without fights. We had three admins, now just 2, but honestly we do almost nothing.
IF we went with this type of healthy, respectful, "self policing" group, I would be happy to be an admin in the true sense of providing administrative duties like setting up the group, adding people, etc. I do not have any desire to be the moral police or mediate drama, or even create a bunch of arbitrary rules.
I’m with @KellyT22 - I’ve never done this before but would be willing to help admin. I think our board is pretty drama free as it is so think it wouldn’t be too time consuming.
I’m probably just jaded from my experiences, but even with 2 mainly drama-free FB groups, one had something random and huge blow up after 4.5 years, and the other we were catfished by volder-mod, so...even in a laid back, tight knit group, I do see admins as necessary who realize they may, at some point down the line, need to enforce some kind of rules. Not to enforce strict rules like on TB, but that random ish will more than likely at some point surface, and a few someones need to be willing to be in control at that point.
@KellyT22 I agree. I think the demeanor of this bmb has been very respectful so far. We haven’t had any major drama and i see a lot of us to be on a similar wave length? But I would love to get to know everyone on a more personal level.
@runningyogimama Oh I have no problem stepping in if something really bad or weird happens. I will protect us. But I don't want to police things like "Suzie said formula is bad". Suzie has an opinion, you have an opinion. They're both okay and as adults we should be able to disagree without being nasty to each other.
I admin for my M17 group. We set it up as a private group, then had Bump members message us to be added to the Facebook group. We sent invites through Facebook by email address. Worked pretty well. We only added people who had actually participated in the BMB.
But what does participate mean? Anyone who's ever participated? Most of the posters here are recognizable and participate regularly, but there are a few who post something like once every 3 months, and I'm not comfortable having those people in our group (especially the ones who pop in to say something judge-y about circumcision and never come back). Also, we're grown adults so I really hope we don't have to have a rule about being respectful of each other. I think everyone here has been respectful of each other and that should be expected, not a rule. I agree that we'll need at least some action from the mods. Stuff will probably happen and inevitably the mods might have to kick someone out. I'm not going to be comfortable with the group if lots of people just lurk and never, ever post. If people aren't posting for months, they should not be a part of the group. We're all going to be sharing a lot of our social lives with each other which gets a little scary, so some rules about participation, etc. will be necessary.
@offtoneverland We've done periodic purges but generally give people a warning like "hey checking in how are you?" and tag them. It's easy to out someone who doesn't respond. I agree that no one wants lurkers.
I think participate in the BMB is a little subjective, but generally meant they had done an introduction and commented prior to the FB thread. If someone has no "points" (whatever they are) or "love its" they probably aren't really members. Plus if 99% of their posts are in the D18 group, N18 probably isn't the best fit.
@KellyT22 I think we still need more than an introduction and a comment. That's not very much activity. There are two or three people I'm thinking of in particularly who have posted about 10 times since we all got our BFPs. I'm just not really comfortable having them in our FB group because none of us really know them. Those people still might have some points based on prior board activity or threads they've started or what not, so I'm not sure going off of points would make that much sense. For people who haven't had much activity, will the mods reach out to each other to ask opinions? Or would we ask the opinions of the entire group before adding/not adding the inactive person?
@offtoneverland Points are a little arbitrary, but usually it's more the case of someone with 2 points wants in the group rather than vice versa. You can see everything people comment though which is nice. So if they only had two posts since 2016, probably not a great fit for FB.
I'm personally a big fan of transparency and group decisions, so I would be Team Ask The Group, but could go either way with it.
I just thought of one other thing that worked well in March - we didn't really broadcast "THIS IS HOW TO GET IN THE FACEBOOK GROUP" it was way more subtle and probably hidden in a randoms thread like "if you want in, message so-and-so", plus we proactively messaged all the big participators.
Just something I experienced with my May 16 BMB, we all had our babies and got super close on the bump and then migrated to FB a few months after.
But, I feel like the bump mobile app has gotten worse and so slow. I haven’t been able to participate much because the app sucks. I think a lot of people who are lurkers now, might be more inclined to participate with Facebook. I know we did check ups/roll calls on our May 16 group.
Basically what I’m saying is, these groups (in my experience) are more valuable for post partum and commiserating in newborn misery than during pregnancy
Not to point out names or whatnot but @tgortney is an excellent case in point. Post history is a fair # of posts/activity March through May. Then silence and now a couple posts today. Is that "active"? Who decides that? (No offense girl, just using you as an example).
I understand getting & being busy and TB not being the most user friendly. And FTM so obv I dunno the FB BMB migration "norms" but I have been around TB for a while. Yes, TB can suck at times but if you're interested in participating you make an effort. Maybe I'm just lucky that mobile isn't THAT bad on my phone and it's waaayyyy worse for others so I just don't "get it".
If you were to ask me right now, IMO she currently doesn't particiapte enough for me to be comfortable sharing my FB with. But as I've said before I'll go with majority rule and I certainly do not want the responsibility of admining because I know my feelings regarding these matters are likely far different than the majority and I don't expect people to make rules based on my personal comfort level.
But I do think we need to be *somewhat* selective in who gets added and have admin in place for if that "worst case scenario" happens.
Also, just FYI I would never expect admin to police things such as disagreements/differing opinions or "suzy uses formula, formula is bad". We're not children, we all have the ability to get along and treat each other with respect.
BFP 3/21/2020! OMG We're having TWINS! 4/17/2020 -------------------------------- LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby! -------------------------------- Me: 33 | DH: 41 Married: March 2016 TTC #1/IUD out January 2017 PCOS dx January 2018 Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018 BFP 3/10/2018! -------------------------------
TTGP December Siggy Co-Winner: Favorite Moments from Holiday Movies/TV
But, I feel like the bump mobile app has gotten worse and so slow. I haven’t been able to participate much because the app sucks. I think a lot of people who are lurkers now, might be more inclined to participate with Facebook. I know we did check ups/roll calls on our May 16 group.
I'm not comfortable having lurkers in our group at all. I'm not calling the shots singlehandedly of course, but I don't think lurkers should be allowed in. As @lurvleybunchococonuts said, if people were interested in participating, they should have made the effort before now.
Also I agree with @lurvleybunchococonuts about post activity. Who decides that? We need some rules so all the mods aren't acting under different self made rules.
@lurvleybunchococonuts I get where you’re coming from. The bump is a great tool for FTM pregnancies. I’ve just found that people love it more for PP.
You could always just wait to migrate after people have babies (to see who really wants to bond over raising tiny humans), why rush.
People tend to want help/commiseration with baby questions more than pregnancy. Also late night chats on TB, that’s when it was really active because everyone was up at the same time. For example, one really well known member from my May 16 group didn’t show up till PP because she was a STM but she started participating after everyone had our babies and giving super helpful advice.
I’m not a huge participator - but I completely understand what you all are saying. So if I get invited over to FB I’ll be stoked! If not I’ll be ok because I get wanting the privacy and not wanting any lurkers around!
So so if I se you all on FB awesome! If not good luck and I hope your deliveries and PP goes amazing!
There is one other alternative, which is that the group is strictly invite only - someone goes through the BMB and invites the “active” members (criteria probably tbd). Honestly that sounds like a huge pain in the ass though.
@lurvleybunchococonuts I get where you’re coming from. The bump is a great tool for FTM pregnancies. I’ve just found that people love it more for PP.
You could always just wait to migrate after people have babies (to see who really wants to bond over raising tiny humans), why rush.
People tend to want help/commiseration with baby questions more than pregnancy. Also late night chats on TB, that’s when it was really active because everyone was up at the same time. For example, one really well known member from my May 16 group didn’t show up till PP because she was a STM but she started participating after everyone had our babies and giving super helpful advice.
You obviously haven't been around here a lot because pretty much this entire board is S+TMs. I've literally never heard anyone say they come to TB just for PP support. That's why people start posting here as soon as they get their BFPs (usually). That's cool that your old BMB let a stranger onto FB, but I am not okay with it (and judging from the love tits on this thread I don't think I'm the only one with those thoughts). If you want PP support there are literally thousands of threads, groups, facebook groups, etc, all over the internet for moms of babies/kids of all ages, so you can use one of those. If the bump is hard for you to use, then I'm not sure why you want to join our FB group and get to know us now. We've all been using the bump for 8 months or so, and I don't think it's fair for people to get a free pass just because the bump is hard to use sometimes. I'm sorry, but you haven't posted here in 4 months (and I don't think it's a coincidence that the day you decided to start posting again is the same day that FB was mentioned), so I don't trust you and I don't know you, nor am I willing to share my full name with you. That's great that you didn't need support during your pregnancy, but that doesn't mean you're excused from the rules everyone else will have to follow to join the FB group.
I don’t remember who suggested this before but we could still consider a closed TB group in addition to a Facebook group. It could be for people who don’t use Facebook as well as people who are kinda of active on TB but not active enough to make the facebook cut...of course all the Facebook peeps could stay around if they wanted to as well. Just a suggestion if it becomes difficult to decide who to include in the Facebook group.
Two Furbabies: Mika (american eskimo) and Gypsy (wire-haired terrier, dachshund mix)
Twins: Kaiden and Zara born 10/2018 conceived after 6 years of infertility via a medicated IUI
I feel like you entirely missed my point lol. Oh well *shrug*
@KellyT22 it really feels like you're saying (and I apologize if this is putting words into your mouth or if I'm simply misunderstanding what you're saying but it's how I'm interpreting) that it has to be invite anyone who asks because it's a pain in the ass to have criteria on who is allowed to join. As @offtoneverland stated how will FB be different than any other FB mom group (or differnt than just staying here on TB) if we don't put at least SOME effort into who is able to join? I'm not trying to be mean or exclude people just to be a B, but rather to be safe and cognizant of internet stranger danger.
BFP 3/21/2020! OMG We're having TWINS! 4/17/2020 -------------------------------- LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby! -------------------------------- Me: 33 | DH: 41 Married: March 2016 TTC #1/IUD out January 2017 PCOS dx January 2018 Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018 BFP 3/10/2018! -------------------------------
TTGP December Siggy Co-Winner: Favorite Moments from Holiday Movies/TV
@offtoneverland it actually is a coincidence that I saw this post the same day I started posting more. I’m not arguing with you nor do I care to. I had an opinion and suggestion as I would on any thread. I see it’s not being well received by some (which is fine). I think I’ve been pretty cordial and non-hostile in giving said opinion though.
@lurvleybunchococonuts that’s great to hear! I’m a FTM and y’all have helped a lot already!
i honestly don’t post a lot because my pregnancy has been very uneventful thus far and some of you have had it a lot harder! So I lovetit when I can and post occasionally! (I am much more active on FB if that makes any difference!)
this is also the first like anonymous group I’ve ever joined so it was weird to me at the beginning!
but again whatever is decided good luck and luck and don’t let FB ruin this amazing group please!!!
I’m also not comfortable with lurkers. I also hate TB app and am on mobile 100% of the time when I’m on here, but I still invested the time to actively get to know the ladies her and participate over the last 8 months...FB is very personal, I don’t want random lurkers there. Sorry not even a little bit sorry. There are PLENTY of groups on FB and elsewhere for birth months you can join, if you haven’t taken the time to be active here (or can stay active here...those of us super active PP on my M13 BMB who hadn’t made the switch to FB yet made a second FB group and moved then).
@runningyogimama I also like the way that the October bmb did it. I think it should definitely be invite only, and don't think it will be too much work if we split it up among a few admins.
@offtoneverland it actually is a coincidence that I saw this post the same day I started posting more. I’m not arguing with you nor do I care to. I had an opinion and suggestion as I would on any thread. I see it’s not being well received by some (which is fine). I think I’ve been pretty cordial and non-hostile in giving said opinion though.
It's not being well received because internet safety is a real concern. It's incredibly easy to find tons of information about people online just by knowing their name. So because of that, we aren't comfortable having lurkers in our group. I don't think that's too much to ask, especially with the safety of our kids on the line.
I'm super late to this but I agree that we need some sort of criteria because I do not feel comfortable sharing my info with lurkers/randos. I am a FTM so I have no experience with BMB moving to FB but I was on TK for a while and did the migration there. When we first went over we invited all the regulars that were easily recognizable. Then we did an "ask the group" type screening to let more people in. We also clean it out regularly so that those who just lurk and don't participate get the boot.
I am a little more lax on my own information, but once baby comes into the world, I am going to protect all the information I can about this LO. I don't want to have all their info out there for just anyone to see.
I am also willing to admin if needed. I am able to get on pretty much daily on a desktop, so that might be helpful.
Me: 34 DH: 34 Married 10/28/17 Our TTC Journey
TTC #1 February '18 Team Green turned TeamBlue 10/15/18
TTC #2 January '21 BFP June '21 MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C July '21 Jan '22 - started IF testing BFP Jan '22 MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C Feb '22 BFP May '22
Participation is so hard to determine, but I agree no lurkers, or people who have only posted a handful of times, or people that all of a sudden come out of the woodwork at the 11th hour. It’s not certain when everyone joined, so I think the focus should be more on the last several months. I know life happens, and sometimes members go mia for a week or two, or three, so I don’t want to nit pick, but I think it should be that a person had at least a little bit participation every month...or most months. I mobile bump and i can’t see (or figure out how to see) how frequently someone has posted, so I’m not sure if reviewing participation for people is a reasonable thing to do.
@linz36 I agree that there should be a private bump group set up. I will definitely try and participate in both. I am someone who did not make the FB group cut last time I was pregnant. I get it, i was a lurker who posted a handful of times. I started to participate after we had our babies and so did many lurkers and people who had low participation and didn’t make the FB group. We eventually ended up making our own little FB group. Understandabley so, now that we are going to share full names, and pictures of our babies, people are weary of just letting anyone in. That doesn’t mean support has to end for people who don’t make the initial FB group. That’s why i think it’s a great idea to have two groups.
I'm still not sure that I am going to join FB. I was a on FB group of loss moms and there was some issues that ultimately led to me leaving FB altogether. I do hope I don't lose touch with everyone after babies are born, but I do understand. More than likely, I will still be here, so I am open to a private bump group. I do know that this doesn't really have a lot of bearing on the current conversation, but I wanted to say my thoughts on it. I know there are a few other regulars like me who will not be going to FB as well.
@BabyBoyH92016 "easiest" way to search post history is go to bottom of the screen from our board main page, click go next to the "seach November 2018". Under "author" put the screen name of the person you're looking up, leave the board search as November 18 (unless you want to see their entire post history, then you would change it to all boards) and hit go again. Yes, it's clunky, and time/labor intensive but that's how ai know how to do it on mobile. From desktop you just click on the person's screen name.
BFP 3/21/2020! OMG We're having TWINS! 4/17/2020 -------------------------------- LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby! -------------------------------- Me: 33 | DH: 41 Married: March 2016 TTC #1/IUD out January 2017 PCOS dx January 2018 Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018 BFP 3/10/2018! -------------------------------
TTGP December Siggy Co-Winner: Favorite Moments from Holiday Movies/TV
@lurvleybunchococonuts That's not really what I was intending to say, but I understand how it can come across like that. I think it sounds like a lot of work to go through the board and only invite people as opposed to receiving messages asking to be invited (which is what we did in the past). Maybe it wouldn't be that much of a pain, not sure. In terms of having criteria, I think that's fine. I agree you don't want lurkers or people who only posted to get in the group.
Quite honestly, if someone had not yet posted in the "intro" thread prior to mid-July I would be nervous. (I picked July because I know some people wait until 20 weeks to announce/join.)
@KellyT22 I don’t think I ever posted in the intro thread 😬 oops! But that is a good criteria even if it means I won’t be able to join haha!
I think whoever does become admin should invite people. That way whoever wants to put in the time to be admin can pick out the names that they recognize. So if people don’t get an invite/message will know and can still be a part of TB private group if they want to! I hope I’m not over stepping with that recommendation since I’m not a huge poster!
I agree with @KellyT22 - people messaging requesting an invite. Otherwise, it’s easy to miss at least some fairly regular posters. It’s more work to do a quick search to see how active they’ve been, but if it’s divided up between a few people, it shouldn’t be too overwhelming.
I also wouldn’t want to use the intro thread as criteria...that thread is so long, I never even looked at it after like March, haha, and posting their doesn’t make you active.
@KellyT22 ohhh okay gotcha I see what you mean now! I'd be okay with people requesting the invite to FB and then if they fit whatever criteria get invited. If they don't fit the critera then asking them to participate a bit more. Instead of the admin going through the board and then they have to reach out to invite people.
I think having posted in the intro be the start of the criteria is a good idea, but that it needs to include more than that kwim? (Also I think there should be an exception for if someone didn't actually intro but still are active participators). We have a toooonnn of intros but not all of them have led to active members. So Intro before July? Check. 1 post to group? Check. Is a good starting place but needs to include more than just that. One post is not "participation" IMO. (Even one post per month isn't but, again, that's my personal comfort level). I'd love to hear if anyone has any middle ground suggestions.
Lapses in participation I think we ALL understand but disappearing for multiple months without checking in and then coming back right towards the end (and I would constitute now as "the end") to get included in FB is a bit sketchy to me. I'm not saying those people can't ever join, but that would fall under please stick around and participate more before you can join.
BFP 3/21/2020! OMG We're having TWINS! 4/17/2020 -------------------------------- LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby! -------------------------------- Me: 33 | DH: 41 Married: March 2016 TTC #1/IUD out January 2017 PCOS dx January 2018 Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018 BFP 3/10/2018! -------------------------------
TTGP December Siggy Co-Winner: Favorite Moments from Holiday Movies/TV
So since we can all agree that participation is arbitrary, but that it’s also that it’s pretty clear we have regulars, and lurkers/very low participation, that leaves us with a small gray area of people who we might not be sure about. I’m comfortable with the people who step up and volunteer their time and effort to set up the FB group/admin deceide between themselves about the people in the gray area. If we have 3-5 admins, I feel whatever criteria they come up with will be reasonable. We’ve all pretty much expressed some regular/consistent participation is needed and I think a handful of admins can make the judgment call. We have a nice board (not catty, or clicky) so I trust decisions will be fair with no intention to be mean or exclude.
I would be be happy to admin, but am very hesitant to do it because i mobile bump and am worried that it might complicate things. So far we have had a few “maybes” and “if needed” (I’m guilty of this too)
Now that we’ve talked about it a little. Can we get more of a definitive answer on who is willing to do this??
Re: Facebook Group
Probably a a dumb question but it will be a private group right?
I would say I would help since I’ve done it before, but I have two other kids in extracurricular activities and a job that’s nuts right now (and an 8 pm bedtime, lol), so I would not be the most efficient person to do it, probably....
IF we went with this type of healthy, respectful, "self policing" group, I would be happy to be an admin in the true sense of providing administrative duties like setting up the group, adding people, etc. I do not have any desire to be the moral police or mediate drama, or even create a bunch of arbitrary rules.
Also, we're grown adults so I really hope we don't have to have a rule about being respectful of each other. I think everyone here has been respectful of each other and that should be expected, not a rule.
I agree that we'll need at least some action from the mods. Stuff will probably happen and inevitably the mods might have to kick someone out. I'm not going to be comfortable with the group if lots of people just lurk and never, ever post. If people aren't posting for months, they should not be a part of the group. We're all going to be sharing a lot of our social lives with each other which gets a little scary, so some rules about participation, etc. will be necessary.
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
i like the idea of rules and making sure people remain active. There are plenty of mom groups to “lurk” in, we don’t need ours being one.
I think participate in the BMB is a little subjective, but generally meant they had done an introduction and commented prior to the FB thread. If someone has no "points" (whatever they are) or "love its" they probably aren't really members. Plus if 99% of their posts are in the D18 group, N18 probably isn't the best fit.
For people who haven't had much activity, will the mods reach out to each other to ask opinions? Or would we ask the opinions of the entire group before adding/not adding the inactive person?
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
I'm personally a big fan of transparency and group decisions, so I would be Team Ask The Group, but could go either way with it.
I just thought of one other thing that worked well in March - we didn't really broadcast "THIS IS HOW TO GET IN THE FACEBOOK GROUP" it was way more subtle and probably hidden in a randoms thread like "if you want in, message so-and-so", plus we proactively messaged all the big participators.
But, I feel like the bump mobile app has gotten worse and so slow. I haven’t been able to participate much because the app sucks. I think a lot of people who are lurkers now, might be more inclined to participate with Facebook. I know we did check ups/roll calls on our May 16 group.
Basically what I’m saying is, these groups (in my experience) are more valuable for post partum and commiserating in newborn misery than during pregnancy
I understand getting & being busy and TB not being the most user friendly. And FTM so obv I dunno the FB BMB migration "norms" but I have been around TB for a while. Yes, TB can suck at times but if you're interested in participating you make an effort.
Maybe I'm just lucky that mobile isn't THAT bad on my phone and it's waaayyyy worse for others so I just don't "get it".
If you were to ask me right now, IMO she currently doesn't particiapte enough for me to be comfortable sharing my FB with.
But as I've said before I'll go with majority rule and I certainly do not want the responsibility of admining because I know my feelings regarding these matters are likely far different than the majority and I don't expect people to make rules based on my personal comfort level.
But I do think we need to be *somewhat* selective in who gets added and have admin in place for if that "worst case scenario" happens.
Also, just FYI I would never expect admin to police things such as disagreements/differing opinions or "suzy uses formula, formula is bad". We're not children, we all have the ability to get along and treat each other with respect.
--------------------------------
LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby!
--------------------------------
Me: 33 | DH: 41
Married: March 2016
TTC #1/IUD out January 2017
PCOS dx January 2018
Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018
BFP 3/10/2018!
-------------------------------
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
So so if I se you all on FB awesome! If not good luck and I hope your deliveries and PP goes amazing!
If you want PP support there are literally thousands of threads, groups, facebook groups, etc, all over the internet for moms of babies/kids of all ages, so you can use one of those. If the bump is hard for you to use, then I'm not sure why you want to join our FB group and get to know us now. We've all been using the bump for 8 months or so, and I don't think it's fair for people to get a free pass just because the bump is hard to use sometimes.
I'm sorry, but you haven't posted here in 4 months (and I don't think it's a coincidence that the day you decided to start posting again is the same day that FB was mentioned), so I don't trust you and I don't know you, nor am I willing to share my full name with you. That's great that you didn't need support during your pregnancy, but that doesn't mean you're excused from the rules everyone else will have to follow to join the FB group.
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
Two Furbabies: Mika (american eskimo) and Gypsy (wire-haired terrier, dachshund mix)
Twins: Kaiden and Zara born 10/2018 conceived after 6 years of infertility via a medicated IUI
@tgortney
I feel like you entirely missed my point lol. Oh well *shrug*
@KellyT22 it really feels like you're saying (and I apologize if this is putting words into your mouth or if I'm simply misunderstanding what you're saying but it's how I'm interpreting) that it has to be invite anyone who asks because it's a pain in the ass to have criteria on who is allowed to join. As @offtoneverland stated how will FB be different than any other FB mom group (or differnt than just staying here on TB) if we don't put at least SOME effort into who is able to join? I'm not trying to be mean or exclude people just to be a B, but rather to be safe and cognizant of internet stranger danger.
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LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby!
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Me: 33 | DH: 41
Married: March 2016
TTC #1/IUD out January 2017
PCOS dx January 2018
Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018
BFP 3/10/2018!
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i honestly don’t post a lot because my pregnancy has been very uneventful thus far and some of you have had it a lot harder! So I lovetit when I can and post occasionally! (I am much more active on FB if that makes any difference!)
this is also the first like anonymous group I’ve ever joined so it was weird to me at the beginning!
but again whatever is decided good luck and luck and don’t let FB ruin this amazing group please!!!
It's not being well received because internet safety is a real concern. It's incredibly easy to find tons of information about people online just by knowing their name. So because of that, we aren't comfortable having lurkers in our group. I don't think that's too much to ask, especially with the safety of our kids on the line.
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
I am a little more lax on my own information, but once baby comes into the world, I am going to protect all the information I can about this LO. I don't want to have all their info out there for just anyone to see.
I am also willing to admin if needed. I am able to get on pretty much daily on a desktop, so that might be helpful.
Married 10/28/17
Our TTC Journey
Team Green turned Team Blue 10/15/18
TTC #2 January '21
BFP June '21
MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C July '21
Jan '22 - started IF testing
BFP Jan '22
MMC/Blighted Ovum that led to D&C Feb '22
BFP May '22
@linz36 I agree that there should be a private bump group set up. I will definitely try and participate in both. I am someone who did not make the FB group cut last time I was pregnant. I get it, i was a lurker who posted a handful of times. I started to participate after we had our babies and so did many lurkers and people who had low participation and didn’t make the FB group. We eventually ended up making our own little FB group. Understandabley so, now that we are going to share full names, and pictures of our babies, people are weary of just letting anyone in. That doesn’t mean support has to end for people who don’t make the initial FB group. That’s why i think it’s a great idea to have two groups.
Yes, it's clunky, and time/labor intensive but that's how ai know how to do it on mobile. From desktop you just click on the person's screen name.
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LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby!
--------------------------------
Me: 33 | DH: 41
Married: March 2016
TTC #1/IUD out January 2017
PCOS dx January 2018
Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018
BFP 3/10/2018!
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Quite honestly, if someone had not yet posted in the "intro" thread prior to mid-July I would be nervous. (I picked July because I know some people wait until 20 weeks to announce/join.)
I think whoever does become admin should invite people. That way whoever wants to put in the time to be admin can pick out the names that they recognize. So if people don’t get an invite/message will know and can still be a part of TB private group if they want to! I hope I’m not over stepping with that recommendation since I’m not a huge poster!
I also wouldn’t want to use the intro thread as criteria...that thread is so long, I never even looked at it after like March, haha, and posting their doesn’t make you active.
I think having posted in the intro be the start of the criteria is a good idea, but that it needs to include more than that kwim? (Also I think there should be an exception for if someone didn't actually intro but still are active participators). We have a toooonnn of intros but not all of them have led to active members. So Intro before July? Check. 1 post to group? Check. Is a good starting place but needs to include more than just that. One post is not "participation" IMO. (Even one post per month isn't but, again, that's my personal comfort level). I'd love to hear if anyone has any middle ground suggestions.
Lapses in participation I think we ALL understand but disappearing for multiple months without checking in and then coming back right towards the end (and I would constitute now as "the end") to get included in FB is a bit sketchy to me. I'm not saying those people can't ever join, but that would fall under please stick around and participate more before you can join.
--------------------------------
LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby!
--------------------------------
Me: 33 | DH: 41
Married: March 2016
TTC #1/IUD out January 2017
PCOS dx January 2018
Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018
BFP 3/10/2018!
-------------------------------
I would be be happy to admin, but am very hesitant to do it because i mobile bump and am worried that it might complicate things. So far we have had a few “maybes” and “if needed” (I’m guilty of this too)
Now that we’ve talked about it a little. Can we get more of a definitive answer on who is willing to do this??
I am willing to help admin
So we have me, @firsttimespartanmom, and @BabyBoyH92016 - anyone else?