Facebook Group — The Bump
November 2018 Moms

Facebook Group

Starting a facebook group has been talked about in a bunch of different threads but I thought it would be nice to have a central locations. 

Anyone want to repeat suggestions for setting this up and admining? Anyone want to volunteer to admin? 


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Re: Facebook Group

  • cpow18cpow18 member
    10 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited September 2018
    I would but I’m going to be a “single first time mom” for 7 months while husband is deployed! So I don’t think I’d be the right person haha

    Probably a a dumb question but it will be a private group right?
  • Can someone who has helped set up a group before as well as admin it give a brief overview what’s involved with doing something like this? I myself am clueless, but maybe if I knew more about it, I would find that I’m capable of doing it and can help out. Once the group is set up and people have joined, are there any responsibilities after that? 
    offtoneverland
  • So, I like how October did theirs - I did my M14 group alone, and it was very labor intensive. Basically, we need maybe 4 or 5 admins (we like having an odd amount of admins in my M13 and M14 group for disputes, etc, even if few and far between, because something will eventually, even if years later, come up) who volunteer to screen and add people - different first letters of last names PM their assigned Admin with their FB name and description of their profile pic, the admin sends them the group (it would be private while adding people, secret once the adding is done), and the admin also checks to make sure they’re legitimately a part of our BMB and active here.

    I would say I would help since I’ve done it before, but I have two other kids in extracurricular activities and a job that’s nuts right now (and an 8 pm bedtime, lol), so I would not be the most efficient person to do it, probably....

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  • emjohn517emjohn517 member
    100 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited September 2018
    I admin a small group from my previous BMB, Im happy to help how I can. I think we can maybe simplify that process though. That seems like a ton of checks and balances. But then again I’m a pretty open person. Maybe someone sets one up and those of us that wish to join can be PMed the link. I feel like we’ll recognize the frequent posters enough and those that we don’t we can spend more time vetting. 
  • I’m with @KellyT22 - I’ve never done this before but would be willing to help admin. I think our board is pretty drama free as it is so think it wouldn’t be too time consuming. 
  • I’m probably just jaded from my experiences, but even with 2 mainly drama-free FB groups, one had something random and huge blow up after 4.5 years, and the other we were catfished by volder-mod, so...even in a laid back, tight knit  group, I do see admins as necessary who realize they may, at some point down the line, need to enforce some kind of rules. Not to enforce strict rules like on TB, but that random ish will more than likely at some point surface, and a few someones need to be willing to be in control at that point. 

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    offtoneverlandlurvleybunchococonutstessiesmom26MouseMama817
  • @KellyT22 I agree. I think the demeanor of this bmb has been very respectful so far. We haven’t had any major drama and i see a lot of us to be on a similar wave length? But I would love to get to know everyone on a more personal level. 
    KellyT22
  • @runningyogimama Oh I have no problem stepping in if something really bad or weird happens. I will protect us. But I don't want to police things like "Suzie said formula is bad". Suzie has an opinion, you have an opinion. They're both okay and as adults we should be able to disagree without being nasty to each other. 
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  • @offtoneverland We've done periodic purges but generally give people a warning like "hey checking in how are you?" and tag them. It's easy to out someone who doesn't respond. I agree that no one wants lurkers.

    I think participate in the BMB is a little subjective, but generally meant they had done an introduction and commented prior to the FB thread. If someone has no "points" (whatever they are) or "love its" they probably aren't really members. Plus if 99% of their posts are in the D18 group, N18 probably isn't the best fit. 
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    wannaflickonewamam027
  • @offtoneverland Points are a little arbitrary, but usually it's more the case of someone with 2 points wants in the group rather than vice versa. You can see everything people comment though which is nice. So if they only had two posts since 2016, probably not a great fit for FB. 

    I'm personally a big fan of transparency and group decisions, so I would be Team Ask The Group, but could go either way with it. 

    I just thought of one other thing that worked well in March - we didn't really broadcast "THIS IS HOW TO GET IN THE FACEBOOK GROUP" it was way more subtle and probably hidden in a randoms thread like "if you want in, message so-and-so", plus we proactively messaged all the big participators. 
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    lifesabeach85rosebud1230
  • Just something I experienced with my May 16 BMB, we all had our babies and got super close on the bump and then migrated to FB a few months after.

    But, I feel like the bump mobile app has gotten worse and so slow. I haven’t been able to participate much because the app sucks. I think a lot of people who are lurkers now, might be more inclined to participate with Facebook. I know we did check ups/roll calls on our May 16 group. 

    Basically what I’m saying is, these groups (in my experience) are more valuable for post partum and commiserating in newborn misery than during pregnancy :)
    wamam027jennak210
  • tgortney said:

    But, I feel like the bump mobile app has gotten worse and so slow. I haven’t been able to participate much because the app sucks. I think a lot of people who are lurkers now, might be more inclined to participate with Facebook. I know we did check ups/roll calls on our May 16 group. 
    I'm not comfortable having lurkers in our group at all. I'm not calling the shots singlehandedly of course, but I don't think lurkers should be allowed in. As @lurvleybunchococonuts said, if people were interested in participating, they should have made the effort before now. 
    *TW*
    Me: 31 | DH: 33
    DD1: 8/2014  <3
    TTC #2: 6/2017
    BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
    BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
    BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
    BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
    DD2: 10/2018  <3
    runningyogimamalurvleybunchococonutsmockingjay1CanadianGamerMom
  • Also I agree with @lurvleybunchococonuts about post activity. Who decides that? We need some rules so all the mods aren't acting under different self made rules. 
    *TW*
    Me: 31 | DH: 33
    DD1: 8/2014  <3
    TTC #2: 6/2017
    BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
    BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
    BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
    BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
    DD2: 10/2018  <3
    runningyogimamalurvleybunchococonuts
  • @lurvleybunchococonuts I get where you’re coming from. The bump is a great tool for FTM pregnancies. I’ve just found that people love it more for PP. You could always just wait to migrate after people have babies (to see who really wants to bond over raising tiny humans), why rush. People tend to want help/commiseration with baby questions more than pregnancy. Also late night chats on TB, that’s when it was really active because everyone was up at the same time. For example, one really well known member from my May 16 group didn’t show up till PP because she was a STM but she started participating after everyone had our babies and giving super helpful advice.
  • I’m not a huge participator - but I completely understand what you all are saying. So if I get invited over to FB I’ll be stoked! If not I’ll be ok because I get wanting the privacy and not wanting any lurkers around! 

    So so if I se you all on FB awesome! If not good luck and I hope your deliveries and PP goes amazing! 
    tgortney
  • There is one other alternative, which is that the group is strictly invite only - someone goes through the BMB and invites the “active” members (criteria probably tbd). Honestly that sounds like a huge pain in the ass though. 
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  • I don’t remember who suggested this before but we could still consider a closed TB group in addition to a Facebook group. It could be for people who don’t use Facebook as well as people who are kinda of active on TB but not active enough to make the facebook cut...of course all the Facebook peeps could stay around if they wanted to as well.  Just a suggestion if it becomes difficult to decide who to include in the Facebook group.

    Me: 36 DH: 33, married in 2012 and TTC since 2012

    Me: hashimoto's, DOR  DH: low testosterone, low sperm count

    Two Furbabies: Mika (american eskimo) and Gypsy (wire-haired terrier, dachshund mix)

    IUI #1 2/27 & 28/18: Clomid CD 3-7, Gonal-F 150mg CD 10, Ovidrel CD 12 (follicles 25, 19, 16, 15, 14); DPIUI 10 BFP
    DPIUI 12 beta 51 progesterone 15.5, DPIUI 16 beta 550, DPIUI 20 beta 3450 progesterone 26, DPIUI 27 US TWINS!!!! Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker
    lurvleybunchococonutscpow18wildrainbow
  • edited September 2018
    @cpow18 regardless of whether I migrate to FB or not, I still plan to be posting on TB :)

    @tgortney ;

    I feel like you entirely missed my point lol.  Oh well *shrug*

    @KellyT22 it really feels like you're saying (and I apologize if this is putting words into your mouth or if I'm simply misunderstanding what you're saying but it's how I'm interpreting) that it has to be invite anyone who asks because it's a pain in the ass to have criteria on who is allowed to join. As @offtoneverland stated how will FB be different than any other FB mom group (or differnt than just staying here on TB) if we don't put at least SOME effort into who is able to join? I'm not trying to be mean or exclude people just to be a B, but rather to be safe and cognizant of internet stranger danger. 

    LO arrived 11/9/2018!  We have a baby!
    --------------------------------
    Me: 31 | DH: 39
    Married: March 2016
    TTC #1/IUD out January 2017
    PCOS dx January 2018
    Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018
    BFP 3/10/2018!!!! 16DPO Beta 1: 732 | 18DPO Beta 2: 1278
    -------------------------------

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    offtoneverlandtessiesmom26MouseMama817
  • @offtoneverland it actually is a coincidence that I saw this post the same day I started posting more. I’m not arguing with you nor do I care to. I had an opinion and suggestion as I would on any thread. I see it’s not being well received by some (which is fine). I think I’ve been pretty cordial and non-hostile in giving said opinion though.
  • @lurvleybunchococonuts that’s great to hear! I’m a FTM and y’all have helped a lot already!

    i honestly don’t post a lot because my pregnancy has been very uneventful thus far and some of you have had it a lot harder! So I lovetit when I can and post occasionally! (I am much more active on FB if that makes any difference!)

    this is also the first like anonymous group I’ve ever joined so it was weird to me at the beginning! :)

    but again whatever is decided good luck and luck and don’t let FB ruin this amazing group please!!!
    lurvleybunchococonutsofftoneverlandlinz36
  • edited September 2018
    @BabyBoyH92016 "easiest" way to search post history is go to bottom of the screen from our board main page, click go next to the "seach November 2018". Under "author" put the screen name of the person you're looking up, leave the board search as November 18 (unless you want to see their entire post history, then you would change it to all boards) and hit go again.
    Yes, it's clunky, and time/labor intensive but that's how ai know how to do it on mobile. From desktop you just click on the person's screen name.

    LO arrived 11/9/2018!  We have a baby!
    --------------------------------
    Me: 31 | DH: 39
    Married: March 2016
    TTC #1/IUD out January 2017
    PCOS dx January 2018
    Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018
    BFP 3/10/2018!!!! 16DPO Beta 1: 732 | 18DPO Beta 2: 1278
    -------------------------------

    TTGP December Siggy Co-Winner: Favorite Moments from Holiday Movies/TV 
    TTGP October Siggy Winner: Animals in Costume 



    BabyBoyH92016runningyogimamajosie12367offtoneverland
  • @lurvleybunchococonuts That's not really what I was intending to say, but I understand how it can come across like that. I think it sounds like a lot of work to go through the board and only invite people as opposed to receiving messages asking to be invited (which is what we did in the past). Maybe it wouldn't be that much of a pain, not sure. In terms of having criteria, I think that's fine. I agree you don't want lurkers or people who only posted to get in the group.

    Quite honestly, if someone had not yet posted in the "intro" thread prior to mid-July I would be nervous. (I picked July because I know some people wait until 20 weeks to announce/join.)
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    lurvleybunchococonuts
  • @KellyT22 I don’t think I ever posted in the intro thread 😬 oops! But that is a good criteria even if it means I won’t be able to join haha! 

    I think whoever does become admin should invite people. That way whoever wants to put in the time to be admin can pick out the names that they recognize. So if people don’t get an invite/message will know and can still be a part of TB private group if they want to! I hope I’m not over stepping with that recommendation since I’m not a huge poster! 
    runningyogimamalurvleybunchococonutsofftoneverland
  • cpow18cpow18 member
    10 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited September 2018
    @runningyogimama that’s true! It wouldn’t be as bad with a couple of admins. 
  • So since we can all agree that participation is arbitrary, but that it’s also that it’s pretty clear we have regulars, and lurkers/very low participation, that leaves us with a small gray area of people who we might not be sure about. I’m comfortable with the people who step up and volunteer their time and effort to set up the FB group/admin deceide between themselves about the people in the gray area. If we have 3-5 admins, I feel whatever criteria they come up with will be reasonable. We’ve all pretty much expressed some regular/consistent participation is needed and I think a handful of admins can make the judgment call. We have a nice board (not catty, or clicky) so I trust decisions will be fair with no intention to be mean or exclude. 

    I would be be happy to admin, but am very hesitant to do it because i mobile bump and am worried that it might complicate things. So far we have had a few “maybes” and “if needed” (I’m guilty of this too)

    Now that we’ve talked about it a little. Can we get more of a definitive answer on who is willing to do this?? 

    lurvleybunchococonutswannaflickonejosie12367offtoneverland
  • Agree with those who suggested an invite to participate, admins can decide for those in the “gray area” of posting/activity. 

    I am willing to help admin :) 
    BabyBoyH92016offtoneverland
  • I am willing to help admin. 

    So we have me, @firsttimespartanmom, and @BabyBoyH92016 ; - anyone else? 
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