Ask Me Anything thread!

tosh24 · September 2018

@kianarain you still have to deal with PP bleeding even if you have a C-section. I think you wouldn't have the same vag swelling and pain issues if you have a planned C-section, but for those who may labour long and even push before having an unplanned or emergency C-section, they'll still potentially have to deal with both kinds of pain. This happened to my old childhood BFF - she was NOT a happy camper!

kianarain · September 2018

@tosh24 oh lort…that would be the worst. I've always thought there were pros & cons to both but sounds like your friend got largely stuck w/the cons. Yikes!

pttomato · September 2018

Anyone have tips for getting old spit-up stains out of baby clothes? I washed all of DD's old clothes before I put them away and they didn't look stained then, but as I've been pulling them out some of the clothes have yellow stains on them now.

wkuandrea · September 2018

@pttomato I've heard mixing dawn and baking soda then letting it set on the stain (scrub in a bit with a brush) will get those stains out.

tosh24 · September 2018

@pttomato I'm having the same issue since my stuff has been stored away for 7 years....

I did some Googling and it seems that people are having success with OxiClean (or Baby OxiClean if you can find it) soaks. At least 6-8 hours and overnight for tougher stains. Then wash with good detergent in washing machine and do an extra rinse cycle or two. Anything that still has faint stains can then be put out to sun dry. Apparently this is the method to use.

wkuandrea · September 2018

@pttomato yes sun drying! I've heard that works miracles with getting stains out of cloth diapers. I hear all of this from my sister BTW who has three kids

tosh24 · September 2018

Oh and now that @wkuandrea mentions it, I totally have heard the dish detergent trick before too!

greenhillgirl · September 2018

Does your partner play with your nipples in any way before sex? I have felt weird since I am starting to have discharge come out of them and don't want any unseemly situations. But I know he feels he is missing out. Thoughts? What about best positions at half way mark and beyond? Any other sex tips?

kianarain · September 2018

@greenhillgirl oof, I had to have the nipple talk with my partner a while ago. Maybe TMI but whatever: I usually really like when he licks/sucks them, but it's gotten a little too weird during pregnancy knowing that they're going to be used for nourishment soon. And they're just sensitive as hell. I just said something like "as my body is changing I'm not as into this anymore, but you can do this instead (light touching/kissing, tracing fingers up my thighs - whatever you like) for foreplay." For us, direct communication works wonders and, as long as I provide an alternative when I shut something else down, it usually works out.

mtengl · September 2018

@kianarain I am glad I am not the only one who has had that thought.
Has anyone felt more sore than normal after sex? I am assuming it is just the extra pressure.

sweetyjenj · September 2018

@greenhillgirl Mine have been really sen :Dsitive lately, so I just tell him not to touch lol but I've told him what he can do instead. Like @kianarain the sucking right now just doesn't seem right, though since this is baby #2 he's been through this before. While I was nursing DD he couldn't suck on them or he'd get a mouth full

So now they're just back to off-limits.

@mtengl I haven't been more sore after sex, per-se, but sex has become more painful. I think DH is a bit bigger than average, which I've never really thought of as a good thing lol there's only so much space in there, but lately it's been uncomfortable or painful. After orgasm, though, my whole lady part area feels more swollen if I have more than 3 orgasms at a time. If I stop around 3 then it seems ok, but if I keep going then it feels swollen for a few hours. So weird. I'm guessing extra blood flow and extra pressure. Sexual stimulation pulls blood to the genitals for extra sensation, so maybe that's why you'd get more sore after, too? We have more blood these days than before.

mtengl · September 2018

@sweetyjenj Yeah I will feel swollen too and heavy which makes sense because of the increased blood flow. I also agree on the pain, it takes a lot of adjustment and finding the right position to avoid pain.

tosh24 · September 2018

@greenhillgirl Not pregnant, my nipples are like dead zones so I derive zero pleasure from their stimulation which means DH can do whatever. But pregnant, they are waaaaay too sensitive and sore to have him play with them so I've just told him he can look but not touch

I will let him lick them for like 2 seconds if he really wants to but that's it. As an alternative, he is happy if *I* play with them myself - seems to still do something for him and I can control the touch and pressure so I'm not in any pain.

Admittedly, we haven't been very sexually active this pregnancy because of my anxiety, but we were with my other two right up until labour. Best positions I've found have been cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, or from behind, either doggy style or laying down. I can't do missionary or any type of sitting position at all because the belly gets in the way.

I've found with pregnancy and body changes, I'm a little less apt to have spontaneous sex because I get self-conscious of certain things - dried colostrum, hair popping up in random places, I feel that I'm a little more smelly, etc. I've just been honest with DH. We've always had really open communication about sex. If it makes you less stressed and more able to enjoy the moment, say you need a little prep time. It's totally OK. If DH is in the mood like right this second, I will tease him a bit so he gets some satisfaction and then we'll put off the real deal until a little later when I've had a chance to shower and look myself over. Hopefully most husbands would understand - it's new territory for both parties.

Sorry if all that was a lot of TMI....I just wanted to help, hopefully!

BitterBetty12 · September 2018

@kianarain I labored but never pushed before I had my c-section. I did not deal with much vaginal pain at all. Definitely some swelling and general discomfort, and I still used the peri bottle for a week or so when cleaning myself. But I would generally say my vagina came out unscathed. I mean, the healing process of a c-section is still not fun. It's just a different area and type of pain you are dealing with.

mtengl · September 2018

@tosh24 personally I am so happy you are TMI. Your posts are always super insightful and honest and I really appreciate that as a FTM. Honestly have learned some from all you STM+ and I am very greatful.

wkuandrea · October 2018

let's talk about cord blood banking. Do we do it? Privately? Thoughts?

mrsmang · October 2018

@wkuandrea I’ve been wondering this too! My doctor said he did it with both his kids, but his wife had cancer that had a possible genetic component so it was a no brained for them. He said for us it’s basically an insurance policy we’re somewhat unlikely to use and since it is still expensive if we were worried about the money he’d also totally understand putting it in a college fund as well since that’s way more likely to be needed. I’m interested to hear from STM+s!

gorgeousariel · October 2018

@wkuandrea I've never done it and don't plan to with this one. I *think* if you do delayed cord clamping you do not have enough to bank.

beachmama14 · October 2018

I have never done it because we have done delayed cord clamping at birth and you can’t do both.

sweetyjenj · October 2018

We did delayed cord clamping. After asking the doctor about delayed cord clamping, he said it's now standard procedure at my hospital unless there's an emergency. They wait to clamp it until "it stops pulsing" (I didn't know it pulses??) so it puts the blood that's in the cord back into the baby..or at least that's my understanding of it.

baileym9126 · October 2018

I was interested in cord blood banking, but it’s not offered where I live in Canada, so it would have to be shipped to another province and there’s a lot of extra steps and money that goes into that. I’m still planning on bringing it up with my OB to see if it’s even an option, as I think it’s common for them to do delayed cord clamping, but as of right now I’m thinking I won’t be doing it.

greenhillgirl · October 2018

I have no interest in doing it and get annoyed with the constant ads and promotions around it. I am a big believer in insurance but this is very expensive and very unlikely to ever be used. It seems to be part of the baby/pregnancy industrial complex these days. We already have to pay to store DH sperm AND embryos since we have MFI and require IVF so my storage of frozen stuff budget is maxed out.

alexandraseattle · October 2018

Re: cord blood - We are planning to donate ours! Hopefully it can help someone else’s little one.

skilouise · October 2018

Does anyone have experience with declining the erythromycin eye ointment, or using an alternative? I've heard vague references to antibiotic eye ointments before, but it didn't register until today that they use erythromycin. My mom, brother and I are all allergic to erythromycin, so I'm a little concerned with the risk that the baby might be also.

I'll of course talk to the OB as well, but my next appointment isn't for two weeks, and it's just with a NP. I don't see the OB again for a month. In the meantime, I thought I'd check if anyone here had experience with this sort of issue.

pttomato · October 2018

@AshVA I declined it when I went in for my induction and we were going over my preferences and that was pretty much it.

skilouise · October 2018

@pttomato If you don't mind me asking, what were your reasons for declining?

tosh24 · October 2018

@AshVA We also declined with DS and it was no big deal. They just didn't put the ointment in the eyes. We didn't get any push back. There's been a lot of debate in recent years about whether or not it's actually necessary, so l think they're used to people declining.

pttomato · October 2018

@AshVA I try to avoid prophylactic antibiotics because I worry about contributing to antibiotic resistance and DD was low risk.

leighbrek · October 2018

Just a note about banking cord blood... I was also looking into this, because at first I thought it sounded smart... Then I learned how insanely difficult it is to get it banked to begin with due to limited resources, and I learned that it's mostly a financial scheme. If you never use the cord blood, you can't just donate it or whatever; it gets tossed out! What a waste.

not_another_knottie · October 2018

pttomato said:

@AshVA I declined it when I went in for my induction and we were going over my preferences and that was pretty much it.

I just found out today at a workshop that it’s mandatory in my state (NY) and if you want to decline you have to really put your foot down. And then the hospital might call cps on you.

skilouise · October 2018

ms_stevens87 said:

pttomato said:

@AshVA I declined it when I went in for my induction and we were going over my preferences and that was pretty much it.

I just found out today at a workshop that it’s mandatory in my state (NY) and if you want to decline you have to really put your foot down. And then the hospital might call cps on you.

I read that about NY while researching this! Crazy that something like that could warrant a CPS call (unless the mother is known to have gonorrhea or chlamydia, in which case refusing the ointment does seem worthy of a call to CPS).

ersh1010 · October 2018

@ms_stevens87 that's awful to do to any parent. I'd be very upset if I had strong enough opinions to put my foot down on what is best and then get penalized for that by having a report go to CPS. Hopefully there is room for clinical judgment there and a report won't happen.

rooonilwaazlib · October 2018

ErgoBaby Infant Carrier Q for STMs and others with knowledge...

We are being gifted a hand-me-down Ergobaby carrier for the kiddo by my cousin, who tried it a few times with her son but he hated it. She just can't find the infant insert for it. Are all infant inserts for Ergobaby the same, or should I be buying a specific one depending on the model of the carrier? Thx!

kmvisioli · October 2018

rooonilwaazlib said:

ErgoBaby Infant Carrier Q for STMs and others with knowledge...

We are being gifted a hand-me-down Ergobaby carrier for the kiddo by my cousin, who tried it a few times with her son but he hated it. She just can't find the infant insert for it. Are all infant inserts for Ergobaby the same, or should I be buying a specific one depending on the model of the carrier? Thx!

That’s so nice! The infant insert from Ergo Baby should be compatible with the original, organic, cool mesh, and 360 carriers (per my experience and their website) edit to add: they pop up on Zulily pretty often, too, if you want to wait for a deal!

galactickates · October 2018

You guys... where are you getting your maternity yoga/ pajama pants. Everything is so tight! I was wearing my husband's pajama pants but now i'm not fitting in them anymore. I don't want to spend a ton of money on new ones i'm only going to be wearing for a few months

kaf1788 · October 2018

galactickates said:

You guys... where are you getting your maternity yoga/ pajama pants. Everything is so tight! I was wearing my husband's pajama pants but now i'm not fitting in them anymore. I don't want to spend a ton of money on new ones i'm only going to be wearing for a few months

ugh stuck in box....Luckily I have a large husband and still fit into his pajama pants. But my go-to for any maternity items I don't want to spend money on has been zulily. They have lots of cheap maternity leggings and pajamas!

galactickates · October 2018

@kaf1788 ok thanks! I'll try that! I'm tired of being more comfortable in my mat jeans then in comfy pants!!

tosh24 · October 2018

@galactickates Honestly, I've just sized up regular pj bottoms and bought them from Walmart for cheap. Works for now!

galactickates · October 2018

@tosh24 I would do that but my H has a big waste and i'm not getting the stretch I need around my stomach, if i'm having problems with the bigger men's sizes I don't think sizing up will help me. My last appointment LO's head was at my left hip and ive been feeling all my kicks in the right up and down. He's doing his own crazy thing right across where my waste band is.

kianarain · October 2018

@galactickates I bit the bullet and paid for some kinda pricey yoga pants because that's literally all I wear so I know I'll get my money's worth. They're Blanqi brand and soooo amazing. I think I paid like $60 for them. They're a good material where you can be sporty/pajama mode or also pair them with something a little fancier without looking out of place. Also they're easy to brush pet hair off of instead of requiring a lint roller lol

Edited because I tagged the wrong person lol thanks brain

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