Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
katy0990
member
Re: Question Thread
Has anyone on here had a gentle C-section? I am just curious, did you have to be strapped down? Also, were you able to do skin to skin immediately after delivery, while they sewed you up?
I still use ours every night. It is in DD's bedroom and we have her bedtime bottle, and read her books while I sit in it. I used it for every middle of the night feed and sometimes when she wouldn't sleep.
I wish we had something that rocked downstairs because that was the place I was the majority of the time during the day and where the tv was lol There is also a king size bed in her bedroom, and that would have not made the cut AT ALL for feedings or when she was being batshit crazy.
I bought a used one off of the facebook marketplace for $60 for this second baby's room because I need something!
I did have my arms out but they weren’t really strapped. One was hard to move because of all the cords with the ivs and such.
As soon as he was out they showed us baby, wiped him with a cloth / wrapped him in a blanket and he was on my chest.
He stayed there until it was time to close me up. H and baby left then to have baby weighed and I was wheeled into recovery where baby was on my chest for skin on skin the second he was done being weighed.
I really don’t feel like it interfered with my bonding at all. It was just perfect.
some babies like movement, some don't. When I fed DD I wouldn't rock her. It was when she was trying to nap that I was rocking, bouncing, swaying, shushing, etc. She wouldn't let me sit and rock her, I had to do laps around the house, and even then, she sucked. But other people I know would rock their babies to sleep in a glider.
I think its just individualized for household and baby. If you have a recliner, I'd try to see if that works and if not maybe buy a used one on the marketplace.
My glider in spoiler:
@kristah2 thanks! Last time, I was strapped down and was shaking so badly, that I was unable to hold DS until he was almost an hour old. It sounds dumb, but it really bothered me. I’m hoping this time will be different.
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
@ab_canada we bought a rocker/recliner before DS was born with the thought that it'll be part of our living room furniture when it's not in use in the nursery. It helped us justify the cost ($400ish) and it has been amazing to have! I don't love just a glider because I want to be able to put my feet up as well. I did have nights that DS wouldn't let me put him down so I slept with him in my arms in the recliner. It seemed like a win-win to get both rocker & recliner.
DS: 12/20/16
EDD: 11/29/18
Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born.
6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived
10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP
Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born.
6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived
10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP
Semi-related to gentle c-sections, my doulas are having me put together a sheet for c-section procedures to have just in case. Obviously if the baby needs OUT they will get her out ASAP, but they told me last night that you don't get options (at my hospital, at least) unless you state your preferences; otherwise they're surprisingly flexible. I didn't even realize they strapped women down until they told me that last night! ETA @katy0990 I know (again, at least at my hospital) doing immediate skin-to-skin is one of the options you have if you state you want it. Also, delayed cord clamping!
I've had a couple friends that did gentle c-sections and loved the experience, particularly the see-through curtain.
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
Now I did get sick in recovery but it was mainly because I couldn’t get the epidural and had to go right to spinal and morphine so it turned my stomach. But I passed baby to his dad so I could throw up and then took him right back.
I don’t feel like I had less of a birth experience then anyone else.
In in fact I know someone who laboured so fast that she ended up in shock and shook for about 2 hours after and couldn’t hold baby. So that’s not just a section thing.
Honestly i I just went in with a set of rules.
I said if anything happened I were to need to go under no one besides my husband was to see or hold baby until I could.
And then when I could have visitors I only wanted 2 until I got in my maternity ward room.
And even still I didn’t tell most people I was going in because I didn’t know how I’d feel so I limited my visitors until I got back to my house for the most part.
It caused a bit if family drama but whatever.
if I had more opinions maybe? I guess it all depends on how much you can rely on your DH to help out and make sure your needs are being met. How supportive is @coybig lol
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
@runrinserepeat I have actually thought about doing that. I haven’t written anything down yet, but I know in the moment I will forget things I would like and having them written down to remind myself might help.
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
@ab_canada I'm team glider. As someone else said, we still use ours every night for bedtime cuddles & stories.
We have two of the same glider (from Amazon, I've seen the price go up and down between like $130-160), one downstairs and one upstairs. The more important & trickier thing is how particular you are about "comfort"... some people need/want to shell out more $$ because a chair is more comfortable to them. (ETA: I say this because I'm not on the picky side - a chair with some cushioning is a chair with some cushioning to me.) Ours had decent reviews and so I put it on the registry, it was fine, mom bought us another one.
Now I'm hoping mom or MIL will get a doublewide rocker for DD's room because her being on my lap is becoming more uncomfortable and awkward every day.
@runrinserepeat I used a visual one like the one @PensiveCrayon posted, it may have been from the same website actually, I just don't remember. Honestly, I think that it ended up being more for my piece of mind and I didn't feel I needed it for it's intended purpose. I just like having a plan, with everything in life.
BFP #1: 7/15/15, SB: 11/14/15
Rainbow baby DS born 9/29/16!!
BFP #3 3/26/18 | Due 12/3/18
Thanks, everyone, for your responses. I am not going to tag because there are a lot of responses and, well, I'm lazy..
Sounds like it's a bit of a 50/50. I guess I will just have to go around and see if I can find one that's comfy and worth the price and make a game-time decision.. So far there was *one* that I've liked, so the odds are not good
I never know if I should contact them or just wait until my next appointment. Thoughts? I guess I'm like could those symptoms be connected or all they all just random because my body is not good at being pregnant?