The dog stuff is good to read. We got our dog when DS was 2 and the dog was only a puppy so they've sort of grown up together and he's super used to DS climbing/crawling/etc. But I still worry about bringing a baby in, especially b/c he's so protective of DS.
@mtengl you can definitely have a dog and a baby, but be cautious. I knew my dog was a lovable lump that would never hurt a fly, but I still didn't leave her unattended with the baby for the first few months until I was absolutely sure that she wouldn't see the baby as a threat or a toy. They had a really sweet relationship until my dog passed this past spring. They liked to lick each other.. lol
Me: 29, DH: 31 Married: October 2014 Began TTC: April 2015 BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w) BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w) BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
@BitterBetty12 made some great points in transitioning your dogs to cope with children. While I'm a FTM, I do a lot of work with a rescue and foster dogs, so we work with them a lot on being good with children as well as other pets. My dogs are both rescues, and both have anxiety issues (one more than the other) but both are GREAT with children now. As Betty said, it's all about slow introductions, letting the dog know that the baby is not something to fear, creating good boundaries as the baby gets older and mobile and teaching them to respect the dog's space and wishes too. If your dog is territorial around food, a toy, you, then know that it takes a little extra coaching and affirmation around that subject before they feel comfortable. I'd say more than 90% of the time, dogs and babies (and toddlers!) can happily co-exist. Some dogs (and some babies) won't get along... but there are many things you can do so that they can have a happy home together.
Agree re: all the dog stuff... just depends on the kind of dog and temperament. We have three huskies and they were initially very interested in the baby but they quickly turned into ignoring her. They tolerate her now or just move away if they don’t want to be abused. We had a couple light growls from our oldest but I interpreted that more as her warning the baby. When the warning didn’t work, she just left.
It definitely depends on your dog(s). I agree with slow introduction and understanding that this is a HUGE adjustment for your pets. We have 5 dogs and we knew two of them would be unsure of a new baby. One of them has been great and the other avoids DD lol. We made sure to continue spending time with the dogs and paying attention to them and letting them smell the baby's blankets and clothes. Don't rush it either. One of our dogs (who is the best with her now) took a little while to understand WHAT she even was, like he was so confused and we just had to give it time.
With that being said, ALL dogs are animals and can be impulsive. I would never leave DD in her rocker or bouncer with the dog in the room when I'm not supervising because you never know what they could do, regardless of breed.
Thank you everyone!!! @emmaaa thank you, we have four and I am only really nervous about one. He is just real nervous around new people because he doesn’t know what to expect of them but with other dogs he is very much the subservient and even the dog 5x smaller and than him and the puppy can just take a toy from him. I am hoping since the baby won’t be very active he will just sniff her out and ignore her. I plan on not leaving them alone with the baby and the nursery is going to be off limits to them. My other concern is they all sleep in our bedroom, but on their own dog beds and I worry that in the middle of the night when I have to BF they are going to try to see what is going on in the bed.
@Potterphile I lol'ed at your comment... Our husky is a type 1 ignorer (unless there's a bag of chips involved). We've been doing some research on intro & plan to take it slow, introduce scent, etc., but I think he'll be interested for 2 seconds then give her the cold shoulder like us
Thank you everyone!!! @emmaaa thank you, we have four and I am only really nervous about one. He is just real nervous around new people because he doesn’t know what to expect of them but with other dogs he is very much the subservient and even the dog 5x smaller and than him and the puppy can just take a toy from him. I am hoping since the baby won’t be very active he will just sniff her out and ignore her. I plan on not leaving them alone with the baby and the nursery is going to be off limits to them. My other concern is they all sleep in our bedroom, but on their own dog beds and I worry that in the middle of the night when I have to BF they are going to try to see what is going on in the bed.
Of our five, two usually sleep in the floor of the bedroom. But when we still had DD in there, I didn't let any of them sleep in the room just because I didn't want them getting riled up in the MOTN when the baby would cry. Once she started STTN, we were more lax on letting the dogs back in to sleep.
@kianarain it was a day of interest maybe. Sometimes they care for about ten seconds like a quick sniff and head lick- then they move on. Only concern for us was jumping which they mostly understand not to do fortunately. The issues are generally related more to them not caring than to them being aggressive or anxious or anything like that.
@greenhillgirl I know this is delayed, but buybuyBABY has an entire wall of carriers for you to try on. Most also have a doll that's weighted like a baby so you can gauge how it will actually feel.
Sooo sex. I am usually quite...frisky... but just have not found my groove in pregnancy yet. Not sure if it's my body feeling different, hormones, PGAL brain saying "I know they say it's safe, but is it?!", but either way - it's been a no go for months. I'm super envious of everyone who said they're getting their libido back in second tri because mine is still nonexistent.
So my question is if anyone's been in my shoes & came through the other side? Whether during pregnancy or after? I'm 15 weeks and hoping that it may hit me in a couple weeks, but I can't help but worry if this is my new "norm". The lack of intimacy is a total buzzkill.
@kianarain I feel you, no libido boost here either. We have not really found our groove either. Part worry, part being sick and tired, part getting into a bad habit of just not doing it. As I'm starting to feel a little less blah I'm trying to re-initiate other stuff like kissing or touch even -- the stuff that goes by the wayside as you're busy barfing all day
@kianarain I don't think mine started coming back until like 16 or 17 weeks (I'm 19 weeks now). Also, my body is different so I'm finding I like different positions are much better than what I liked pre-pregnancy. Part of the problem for me I think was trying to do what we usually know and like but just wasn't working for me anymore. Maybe try experimenting with some different moves? Also time of day has been a big factor for me as well. Night time sexy time is a no-go since that is when I'm feeling tired and bloated and heartburn etc. etc. morning or mid-day has been working out much better.
@wkuandrea definitely feeling like we're just in a rut right now and we'll hopefully get back on track. Luckily I haven't been too nauseous but I'm bloated AF and it's not feeling very sexy.
@KLS123 all of the above is great info!! I did have a moment this morning when I was feeling a little in the mood, but then my alarm went off (after snoozing 3-4 times) and I really had to get up. Hopefully we'll be able to give it a shot this weekend. It's also been so damn hot that we aren't cuddling as much as usual and that's generally a good intro into more touching and then DTD. Hoping it's just a perfect storm that will pass soon but for now I feel like no fun. Extra moody and a hands-off policy. Ugh.
I am still nausea so the idea of sex isn’t that appealing 90% of the time. I am also stressed or from work and exhausted. But my husband tries to find time to at least hug on me or rub my back throughout the week and it actually increases my desire to have sex because of the intimacy. I have to warm up to the idea now and usually that bit of intimacy sparks my libido.
Ladies, is it too early for a baby shower thread? If so, I'll ask my Q here! Did anyone do that 'give a book instead of a card' for their previous showers, or know someone who did it? It's obviously an adorable idea, but I am a bit OCD and worried I'll receive 5 copies of 'Goodnight Moon.' I also worry it's tacky to have a registry just for the books for this kid. Yikes!
My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone) IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear! IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019
@rooonilwaazlib, I'm not totally against the book thing, but I know some people (ahem, my grandma) would be like "they expect me to buy a gift and a book?" She complained when someone did that with diapers.
Me: 29, DH: 31 Married: October 2014 Began TTC: April 2015 BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w) BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w) BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
I, too, think the book thing is a cute idea, but books aren't cheap. I don't like the idea of asking for a gift and a book. I think books on your registry is completely acceptable, even a registry just for books! I also think doing a book raffle instead of a diaper raffle is cool, because it isn't expected and it gives the guest a chance to win something for their generosity.
@molosmiles@kns1988 Thanks! I haven't been to a baby shower in a million years and didn't know there were raffles for anything. I immediately like the idea of the books as a raffle option better than the more mandated-ish request of book instead of card. Great suggestion!
My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone) IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear! IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019
@roonilwazlib-2 I did that with DDs shower. Call me gift grabby- I don't care. I only received one duplicate book and I threw the extra copy in the diaper bag. We have so many books now DH has put me on a book buying ban.
@rooonilwaazlib as a shower attendee, I’m not opposed to the book instead of a card idea.. but I attended a shower that was like that, and there were MANY duplicate books.
Married: May 2012 DS1: May 2016 DS2: Jan 2019 Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
I agree that the book in lieu of a card sounds a lot like you're asking for a second gift. I am thinking of having some books on the registry itself though, to hopefully minimize duplicates, and because our nursery is storybook themed.
We did for for at least two showers (book instead of card). Didn’t get many duplicates (2?) and no one said anything about it being gift grabby - and trust me my family would have said it if they felt it.
@rooonilwaazlib my sister did that for my baby shower with DS. Nobody said it was gift grabby. Actually quite the opposite. My shower was small. About 20 people in an intimate setting. We received about 20 different books each with a message in it to my son. I had an aunt pass away since my shower, and it makes me so happy each time I open the book to read it to DS. I get to see her hand writing and the sweet message she left for DS.
Additionally, the women I worked with, unbeknownst to me, bought the book "The Places You'll Go" for me and each signed it with a personal message. Three years later I still open it to read their messages.
Also have attended showers with books instead of cards- personally I like it, and I have continued to write a note in a book instead of card for every shower now. But a lot of guests seemed confused or missed the point and thought they had to include a book AND a card, which they grumbled about.
@rooonilwaazlib my mom/sister did the book thing instead of cards. I got a LOT of books, but no duplicates, and I LOVE reading books to DD now that have a special message written on the back or inside cover from the person who gifted it. They used the book as the card, so they write a personal message inside the book to the baby. My grandma has since passed away, so I love when DD picks out her book to read, since I get a chance to read my grandma's personal message to DD.
There were some people who got me a card instead of a book, and I didn't care either way. Some say they forgot, some didn't mention it, but it was never awkward and no one complained either way. When I looked into the gifts I either looked for a book or a card.
ETA: you can easily return duplicate books if they're not written on! You can google the book title and often see a store that sells it. You can use the Target app to scan and see if it's from there, too.
@rooonilwaazlib I did the book instead of card thing for my shower. Most everyone said they thought it was a neat idea and enjoyed picking out the books. People really got into it and took the time to pick out books that were special to them and wrote really nice notes inside the book covers. I did get a few duplicates, but I gave those to grandparents for them to have on hand when they kept DS. Overall, I think it's worth it.
@rooonilwaazlib - I don't think it's too early for a baby shower thread, we're definitely starting to put together our registry. Also we're doing the book instead of card idea at our shower. I went to one and I loved it. I didn't mind because I love my friend and it makes me really happy thinking that when she reads to her daughter she'll see the note we wrote and one day her DD will be reading that note herself. It makes me happy. Also if someone decided to not give us a book I wouldn't care either. Cards are seriously expensive AF but if that's what they want to do then I appreciate anything we're given.
@rooonilwaazlib my sisters did the book instead of card for my shower for DS. I think I did have 1 duplicate but that's it. I'm not a huge fan of cards in general so I loved the idea. There was about 20 people at my shower. No one seemed to mind buying a book instead of a card and I love the different books I got for him
Edited to include a copy of the paper my sister put in the invite about bringing a book instead of a card
We did a book instead of a card request for my SIL's shower. I guess it technically is a little gift grabby but people could also just bring a card. She got so many books, not many duplicates but honestly we have 4 book locations in our house, diaper bag, or van, so duplicates aren't a terrible thing.
On the flip side, we had a TON of books at our shower and didn't register for any nor did we do a special request. I do love opening books that were gifts and seeing cute notes in them (and my SIL has said the same thing).
Ok, I'll be the odd one out. While I LOVE books for the kids (DH says I can't buy anymore...our entire bookcase is full in the toy toom!), I was annoyed that I had to buy a gift and a book for my cousin's shower. I like the idea, but it meant that I had to lower my gift budget and couldn't get the gift I wanted to give her off her registry because I had to now also buy her a special book too all within my budget.
Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN May 17: IUI #2 = BFN Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies) Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201 Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715
U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125! EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
@tosh24 thanks for your opinion! I love books for kids too. Someone had suggested doing the book thing as an option to win a raffle item instead of the diaper raffle. I Think we'll go that route that way people don't feel obligated or guilted into using the book instead of a greeting card.
My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone) IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear! IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019
@rooonilwaazlib I like the raffle idea. Don't get me wrong, I really like the bring a book to the shower idea and I don't find it gift grabby or anything, but because I wanted to share a book with my cousin that was special to my family which was about $30, it meant that I then had to get her something I wasn't quite as excited about off the registry. But, it could have just been the circumstance maybe - we had 3 weddings and 3 baby showers that season and it was getting expensive so I was really limited to sticking within my set budget. But seriously, I love books and I love buying other people's kids books, so it's not about the books themselves, it was just more about the amount of money I had to spend.
Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN May 17: IUI #2 = BFN Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies) Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201 Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715
U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125! EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
Wow, my friend had people JUST buy her a book for the shower. I'm sure some people also got a small item from her registry, but that way it wasn't asking for two gifts. I agree with @tosh24 it is a bit much.
I just got a shower invitation where it asks for a "well loved" (my wording mihht be wrong but it implied a used book) in lieu of a card. I thought that was a good idea because even if you dont already have a book youd like to give, you can go buy a used one for a buck or two.
Re: Ask Me Anything thread!
DS 05/29/2013
M/C 02/14/2017
M/C 06/05/2017
C/P 03/01/2018
BFP 05/17/2018 EDD 01/27/2019
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
Andrea -- FTM at 39!
With that being said, ALL dogs are animals and can be impulsive. I would never leave DD in her rocker or bouncer with the dog in the room when I'm not supervising because you never know what they could do, regardless of breed.
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19
@emmaaa thank you, we have four and I am only really nervous about one. He is just real nervous around new people because he doesn’t know what to expect of them but with other dogs he is very much the subservient and even the dog 5x smaller and than him and the puppy can just take a toy from him. I am hoping since the baby won’t be very active he will just sniff her out and ignore her. I plan on not leaving them alone with the baby and the nursery is going to be off limits to them. My other concern is they all sleep in our bedroom, but on their own dog beds and I worry that in the middle of the night when I have to BF they are going to try to see what is going on in the bed.
Of our five, two usually sleep in the floor of the bedroom. But when we still had DD in there, I didn't let any of them sleep in the room just because I didn't want them getting riled up in the MOTN when the baby would cry. Once she started STTN, we were more lax on letting the dogs back in to sleep.
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19
My brother and I shared a room until he was 15 and I was 12. They will be fine for a few years until you guys are able to move.
So my question is if anyone's been in my shoes & came through the other side? Whether during pregnancy or after? I'm 15 weeks and hoping that it may hit me in a couple weeks, but I can't help but worry if this is my new "norm". The lack of intimacy is a total buzzkill.
Andrea -- FTM at 39!
@KLS123 all of the above is great info!! I did have a moment this morning when I was feeling a little in the mood, but then my alarm went off (after snoozing 3-4 times) and I really had to get up. Hopefully we'll be able to give it a shot this weekend. It's also been so damn hot that we aren't cuddling as much as usual and that's generally a good intro into more touching and then DTD. Hoping it's just a perfect storm that will pass soon but for now I feel like no fun. Extra moody and a hands-off policy. Ugh.
My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone)
IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN
HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear!
IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone)
IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN
HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear!
IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019
DS1: May 2016
DS2: Jan 2019
Baby #3 EDD: 6/18/24
Additionally, the women I worked with, unbeknownst to me, bought the book "The Places You'll Go" for me and each signed it with a personal message. Three years later I still open it to read their messages.
The books mean more to me than a card.
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
Edited to include a copy of the paper my sister put in the invite about bringing a book instead of a card
On the flip side, we had a TON of books at our shower and didn't register for any nor did we do a special request. I do love opening books that were gifts and seeing cute notes in them (and my SIL has said the same thing).
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone)
IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN
HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear!
IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019