First night home and due to anxiety I just didn’t sleep and stayed in living room with LO. Tonight I’m going to attempt to overcome some anxiety and sleep for an 1-2 in my bed while LO sleeps in her crib.
anyone else have surge of adrenaline at night? I could probably get through 4 days/nights of not really sleeping before I hit the wall.
@elizabethrn87 We slept on the couch our first night home as well. No nighttime adrenaline here. So exhausted and can’t seem to nap during the day.
Im having major anxiety about tonight. Last 2 nights have been rough, especially last night where LO was fussy from around 11pm-3am. Feeding was the only way to soothe. I’m afraid it’s going to be like that every night.
TTC History:
Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010. TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017 BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018. TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020 Due date was Nov 2020 DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma. TTC: March 2021 IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022 IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
@elizabethrn87 I hope you get some sleep! Same with you @rachelsogo! Try to remember nothing lasts forever you can do it!
Afm, was woke at 3:30 from a dream about an ice cream competition taking place in a cave where I was also timing contractions and listening to the avett bros to actual contractions and cramps. Having a hard time in bed figuring out what's a contraction, what's cramps and what's movement but afraid if I get up the dogs will be triggered. I should just sleep in case they fizzle out but I can't!
ETA: I Fell asleep at 4:45 ish and they've basically fizzled at this point. Sigh.
@SmashJam I hate the confusion and trying to determine what is what. Honestly if I wasn’t induced I probably would have considered my contractions not real and stayed at home to long. Hang in there
@elizabethrn87 yes to the adrenaline but we only really had it for the first 10 days. After that I guess LO started sleeping more so maybe that's why I have not noticed it.
@rachelsogo hang in there! Newborns don't have a schedule unfortunately so thinft can always change! My lo has brrn fussy tonight and I'm currently nursing after barely sleeping for the past 3 hours! @SmashJam sorry about everything fizzling out, come in Bernie!
@amdftw oh no! I have gotten breaks between days its happened at least, i would be a miserable B**** if it happened every night! Do you have an induction planned at some point? When are you due?
@SmashJam I'm due tomorrow and last week my doctor said he'd induce at the end of this week if I haven't gone on my own yet. When/if I go to my appointment on Wednesday I hope he sticks to that!
The good thing is I guess is that I feel pretty okay during the day, as long as I don't overdo anything.
@elizabethrn87 yes! I have the PnP set up next to our bed even though the crib is in our room... haha I try to do some meditation or watch a chill show to help me calm and unwind.
@rachelsogo I think many of these little ones are in their first growth spurt so the fussy and nursing for hours in the evening is normal but it is so so stressful and exhausting. Right there with you!
Thanks guys! Last night was so much better. She slept in 3 hour spurts pretty much. I feel like knowing not all nights are going to be super crazy will help me get through the crazy ones. It’s amazing how more sleep can help the mind. I can’t wait till her 2 week checkup to see if I don’t need to wake her to feed at night time anymore.
TTC History:
Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010. TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017 BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018. TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020 Due date was Nov 2020 DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma. TTC: March 2021 IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022 IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
Owen will sleep for 3 hours during the day, and he’d probably go longer if we let him, or if we didn’t keep him in loud bright environments. But still at night he only goes 2 hours. It’s fine, I can deal with it and I realize he could potentially do this for months, but getting up every 2 hours to have your nipples brutalized (his latch in the MOTN is horrible) is a lot harder when you know you may not get to nap at all the next day. My toddler’s naps have only been lasting an hour lately, and depending on when the baby wants to nurse, I could end up feeding throughout that hour. I’m already looking forward to Saturday so I can nap.
@zande2016 solidarity. I am with you on all of that!
Well baby didnt cluster feed before bed tonight which apparently means mega engorgement j the motn. made worse by dd only nursing on one side a feeding. I was way too tired to pump so i wound up soaked and had to wake up dd to nurse. She was stirring for it though.
Also dh decided tk sleep in the guest room again because apparently I should be the the only one struggling at night. anyways he is supposed to take csre of the toddler. Does he here her crying in the motn in one of my few stretches of sleep despite being right next to her room? Nope! so i have yo go and wake his butt up and he has the nerve to act annoyed....and of course as soon as I get close to finally falling asleep baby wakes up. Im annoyed exhausted and just so over his bs
Last night was rough! Got LO feed and changed - pumped- climbed into bed expecting her to give a 3-4 hr stretch. Nope. Awake and fussy from 12-3. She slept 3-4. Then awake and fussy again- nothing working to soothe her let alone get her to go back to bed. Woke up H so I could climb into a hot shower because I think I have multiple clogged ducts? Tried to loosen things up with the hot water and massage. It didn’t work. So I haven’t slept. DD is up. LO is finally asleep. Going to go to the breastfeeding resource center when it opens at 9.
@lindsayleigh1989 your H sounds like mine. He doesn’t do a thing overnight except sleep and keep me up with his snoring, granted he would do whatever I asked him if I woke him but waking him up is such a chore it’s not even worth it. And I always have to wake him up when the toddler wakes up because he will never ever hear it on his own, this morning I had to shake him awake for a couple minutes before he even woke up. You’d think he was the one up every 2 hours all night long.
@elizabethrn87 try taking lechitin for the clogged ducts. It really helps. Hopefully you can get some help today. I’m thinking I need some help myself but I can’t afford to have my LC over again, she’s too expensive, and there’s only two in 30 miles of my house that are in network with my insurance. I’m just so sick of being in pain 24/7.
Solidarity on the MOTN struggle. I am actually shocked at how much my husband has stepped up to watch our toddler during the day... but at night forget about it! If he hears one of the kids waking up or making noise, his version of helping is to shake me awake if I don't immediately spring into action... lol
+1 with being annoyed with H. I was halfway to posting in BF yesterday and got too busy to finish. H wouldn’t wake last night to change a diaper. He acts like he’s up for hours when it’s really just a 5 min ordeal at most. Plus he goes asleep quickly. I got pissed and i just did all the changes and feeding and putting back to sleep. LO hasn’t done his 4 hr stretch the last two nights and has been cluster feeding all day so I’m exhausted.
+1 for sleep struggles, DH stepped way up with taking care of DS awhile he was off, but after going back to work yesterday I can already tell more and more will be falling on me. He actually had the nerve to complain that he got up with DS every day this month- like I hadn’t been the one to get up with him almost every day for the past 3 years... Trying to remind myself that it’s the sleep deprivation talking and it’ll get better when LO actually decides to sleep for longer than 3 hours at night. Every night from 4am on, she refuses to sleep at all unless she’s on me.
+1 @wildtot@acunamatada for not getting those long stretches. He's given me 3ish hours, maybe, in the past couple of nights. Today he took 1.5 hours to fall back asleep after nursing at 4am. He was asleep at 3:57, then he opened his eyes and literally 10 sec later he started crying. Chill out dude! Takes me a sec to get set up to feed! I call him the time bomb, lol.
I mentioned I'm taking the night shift since DH is going to work so I'm hoping he goes back to 4 hours stretches soon though we are in the midst of the 3week growth spurt! After falling asleep at 545, he was awake at 745, he took a bottle with DH and then he went back to sleep, this morning he actually only drank 2oz. And now I'm too awake to nap anyways...
I'm so angry I want to cry! We have a huge sting of break ins in our town lately not far from us. Well part of my Anxiety is being super paranoid about this particularly in the motn and often after a feeding to help it calm down so I can go back to sleep i get up and check the doors. I found my husband not only left our garage unlocked but our garage door wide open. I am so angry right now ugh hoping and praying nothing was taken and i plan to read him the riot act in the morning!
@lindsayleigh1989 ugh that is so frustrating! I'm sorry your DH is doing things that make your anxiety worse. Good thing you checked and caught it so it was only open half the night!
@elizabethrn87 hopefully the resource center was able to help you out! And hopefully you start having better nights. We have rough nights here and I cannot imagine having to function enough to take care of a toddler.
@zande2016 does your state do any public health outreach for breastfeeding support? My county offers free lactation consulting services so I took advantage of that this week to help with latch issues in having. It sucks if you can't get more help just because you cant afford to have someone come.
I'm totally jealous of anyone talking about a 4 hr stretch! LO is 1 month today and I'm still happy and surprised if I get 3 hours... since DH is back to work I try to do all the motn. Plus I'm bf so he cant feed anyway unless I also pump so I figured no point in us both being up. He does get up with me most of the time on the weekend though.
Me: 31 DH: 34 Married: April 2016 TTC December 2016 BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17 MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017 BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18 TTC January 2019 BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
@lindsayleigh1989 dang, I’d be wicked pissed if i were in your shoes! That’s not cool at all considering the factors. I hope all works out in the AM when you talk to him.
@MrsMiller8588 i Hear ya about the 4 hour stretch jealousy!
afm, we are on a solid wake every 3 hours overnight to feed. I don’t mind the 6.5 total hours of sleep, though broken, but what drives me bonkers is the time we are up overnight can range from 30 minutes to almost 2 hours. There is no consistency
@And846 my time awake overnight is always over an hour. And when I finally get him back down I'm normally lucky to get to sleep an hour before he is back up. I'm about to lay him down after being up the last hour so fx he stays asleep for awhile (it's about 50/50 for me getting anymore sleep tonight).
Me: 31 DH: 34 Married: April 2016 TTC December 2016 BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17 MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017 BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18 TTC January 2019 BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
I just lost it on my H in the MOTN and I don’t even feel bad. He will never ever voluntarily wake up to help me, he will if I wake him up but otherwise he won’t ever offer and is perfectly happy to sleep. Well tonight I am struggling and in severe pain trying to nurse and I just cannot sit here watching him sleep peacefully anymore. The worst part is, as I was complaining to him about the pain I was in and how he neber helps me at night, he just layed there and fell right back asleep. Like as I was talking. I got super upset and frustrated when the baby was repeatedly pulling off and relatching on the side that is a 10 on the pain scale during latching, so I had to put him in the bassinet and leave the room to cool down. He cried because he’s hungry and do you think my husband picked him up? No. I walked back in after a few minutes and he was just propped up in bed staring at the baby as if he had no idea what to do. The breaking point was when I said I want to quit breastfeeding and all he said was “don’t quit”. Way to be supportive. At this point i am scared my baby is doing permanent damage to my nipppes, that’s how bad it hurts, and it’s all I can even think about most days. I am just so angry and resentful that I have to go through all of this and meanwhile his life is just the same as it’s always been.
@zande2016 I’m so sorry you’re going through such a rough time. Does it hurt as much to pump? Maybe you could switch to pumping and bottle feeding to give your nipples a break?
@zande2016 seems like you need a break. How do you feel about pumping for a few days and then reassess? Bf is great but when the physical and mental health of the mom are at risk I think it's totally ok to give yourself permission to catch your breath so LO can have your best. Sucks that DH is no help and doesn't get it.
@lindsayleigh1989 that's infuriating given the sort of high alert in your area.
@MrsMiller8588 so much solidarity, it never takes me less than an hour to do the night routine of change, feed, burp, feed, change, put to sleep. But i have to brag because LO slept 5 hours straight! First time ever.
@zande2016 I would pump a few days and make him do some motn feedings to give you a break.. that sounds super painful and not good for anyone. Sorry you're going through all of that, husbands can be clueless.
lindsayleigh1989 i know exactly how you feel as DH does the exact same thing. Its super frustrating and I actually end up going to bed after him just bc i end up doing a full house check before i go to bed to ensure everything is shut and locked.
since he keeps doing it i find ways during the day to irritate him since his excuse is always “i forgot” so ive been “forgetting” to do things for him lately like pack his lunch etc
I am thinking about feeding on the less painful side and pumping on the other, but I’d have to feed what I pump because I don’t think he’d be satisfied just eating from one side. I’m scared to start the bottle this early because with my first he didn’t want to go back to the breast once we started the bottle. I’m going to at least tough it out today since I’m having a new LC come over, and hoping she can help a little. My other LC I used with my son and she was great, but I forgot that she’s a little too hands off for me. Like she wants to always take the wait and see approach and doesn’t seem to understand that I am desperate for solutions or relief. She did the same thing thing with my first, and when I spoke to her yesterday I was in tears from the pain and frustration and she was basically telling me all these things I had already been trying, then she told me we may never figure out what the problem is. No sorry, that’s not good enough for me when I’m in this kind of pain.
So frustrated with H. @zande2016 similar story sorry your going through this. H never voluntarily gets up and lately it’s been worse where he just won’t get up at all even if i ask him. He just lays there not saying a word. So i repeat myself until finally he gets upset and calls me names. Yet he doesn’t get up! All he has to do is change a few diapers so i don’t have to move around so much because my incision is still sore. At one point I’m putting pillows on the bed to see if LO wants to keep nursing and H just grabs them and throws them on the floor. After feeding and changing LO last night I told him to rock him back to sleep because i had been up for sometime now while he snores away. He doesn’t. I lost it. I put LO in his bassinet and told him he’s on baby duty until his next feeding and I went to sleep on the couch. Fast forward 3 hrs later I hear LO making his puppy noises and I go check in him. Smells like poop and he’s starting to get cold and hungry. I yell at H and he says he couldn’t hear him. Wtf!! How can you not hear him when he’s right next to the bed??? Of course he still doesn’t get up. LO wouldn’t stay asleep in his bassinet so I took him to the couch to sleep on my chest. This morning I pretended to sleep while he had to get DS ready. Yes it’s his day back to work but only once a week for the next month. I’m sorry but work is no excuse for this nonsense. I will eventually be going back to work too and it wouldn’t be fair for this to happen. He just needs to go to bed earlier like me if it means so much. So tired of this BS! I was so pissed i called him an a-hole and told him to never tell me he loves me because he obviously doesn’t care about me. I know dramatic. Every time i woke him he would some times reply with a combination of “who needs a diaper change?”, “why”, “poop or pee” “when”...like dude it’s your newborn with a dirty diaper get up now! Ugh!!! Sorry for the rant.
@wildtot ugh I’m sorry you’re dealing with it too, the most annoying part for me is I am trying to let him sleep since he has to go to work, but in reality he leaves at 9, gets home by 5 if not earlier, and when he’s home he’s just taking care of our toddler who is super easy right now, they just play and hang out, i’m doing all the hard work with the baby, and it’s not as if I get to nap after being up all night. I can’t sleep when the baby sleeps because I have a toddler to deal with. So I haven’t napped at all the entire week, and I’ve slept about 4-6 total hours per night (broken up in 1-2 hour increments), meanwhile my H has slept a solid 8 hours per night. So why is that fair just because he’s going to work during the day? It’s not. I’m “working” too dammit.
In my book I don’t care that DH has to work the next day. Taking care of a newborn (and other kids on top of that) is work for the Moms during the day. I absolutely expect mine to help rock her down or change a diaper to help out. Getting up once or twice a night for just a little bit isn’t going to effect his work performance! Up for hours is one thing but usually it’s just a little bit. But I have to say my H is amazing this go around with motn things- just wanted to give him credit bc I’ve been feeling extra grateful for him lately
@julianne0 I tend to agree but I have my mom helping out during the day so I can nap when LO gives me a break. So I feel better knowing DH can get some sleep and be more present at work. I hope once we are on our own things at night will be easier since LO will be 6 weeks!
Sorry for all the unhelpful H’s out there. Maybe instead of asking in the MOTN to help, ask beforehand for a specific type of help? Like at least help out with one diaper change?
@julianne0 +1 for being super grateful of DH. He’s not back to work yet and has been up with almost all the MOTN feedings/Changings. Since he’s so helpful during the day and late nights, I tell him to not help with the 3am and on wake ups. He’ll still help if she’s being super fussy. He has a way to swaddle her and rock her to get her back to sleep. It amazes me when it seems like all I can do is give her a boob or paci.
TTC History:
Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010. TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017 BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018. TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020 Due date was Nov 2020 DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma. TTC: March 2021 IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022 IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
So sorry to all the ladies whose DH are being difficult during MOTN feedings. And i agree, try and sort out the duties before bed and have a clear expectation of what help you will/will not be getting to help alleviate words or frustrations. Also, see what role they want to “own” and hold them accountable for it.
Im with @rachelsogo and @julianne0 on DH support! Because I’m BF, he doesn’t have a task to own so he has taken on all diapering of LO, even MOTN. That’s their time together and then he hands LO off to me clean, fresh and ready to be fed. He’s taken a few weeks off work but considering it’s only a few minute task, he says he plans to contiue it when he returns and he’s excited to feed bottles once i start pumping.
@And846 Dh also does the majority of diaper changes when he is home. My thoughts on MOTN during the week are that I am up already and its only a couple extra minutes to also do the diaper change so I just do it instead of also waking DH up. He has a hard time getting back to sleep and LO and I stay in bed later in the morning and I try to nap during the day. If he wakes up he will change and during the weekend he wakes up with me in the night, but when he has to be up at 5am for work I generally let him sleep if I can.
Me: 31 DH: 34 Married: April 2016 TTC December 2016 BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17 MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017 BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18 TTC January 2019 BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
I’m jealous of those of you with H help at night! DH only helps if he happens to wake up, which only happens if LO is up screaming for a while which hasn’t happened often. I will say he’s been good about getting up with DS and letting me sleep in a bit, even if he does complain about it. Sleep deprivation doesn’t make either of us very nice people to be around.
Seriously though, I feel like my brain is running at half speed.
H and I have a routine we carried over from DD. From like 8-12 he is in charge of wake ups/feeds. Usually I will change the diaper if we both had already gone to bed. With having DD this part kind of is more shared with who deals with her if she is having a hard time going to bed for the night.
Then from 12-5/6 I take over for wake ups and while I change the diaper he runs downstairs and gets the bottle for me and then brings her from the changing table to me.
During the day I do tend to do a majority of the feedings. But we share he diaper changes.
With DS my H and i took turns on diaper changes. He normally woke up when DS would and ask what i needed help with. If the diaper change was his turn he would change and hand ds off to me to feed and go back to sleep. I was a SAHM so when he worked i did all the night routine by myself. This time I'm doing it alone since DH is away on training, but when we see each other on our occasional weekend visit I am like @MrsMiller8588 and do it all anyway. DH works 18 hour days when training and those 2 nights are the best sleep he gets, I want that rest for him. I personally feel like the 2 minutes it takes me to change DD I wouldn't be getting in sleep anyway so I might as well do it since I am already up feeding anyway. BUT I think I feel like this because i am already used to doing it alone anyway. Not knocking anyone for wanting their husbands help during the MOTN, just remember the newborn days don't last forever.
ETA: Those wanting DH help MOTN, maybe try pumping enough for however many feedings LO does through the night and let DH take one full night of the entire routine. I find my DH has a new level of appreciation for something that seems like no big deal once he actually has to do it himself with no help from me.
elizabethrn87
member
Re: MOTN 7-23
anyone else have surge of adrenaline at night? I could probably get through 4 days/nights of not really sleeping before I hit the wall.
Im having major anxiety about tonight. Last 2 nights have been rough, especially last night where LO was fussy from around 11pm-3am. Feeding was the only way to soothe. I’m afraid it’s going to be like that every night.
TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
Due date was Nov 2020
DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
TTC: March 2021
IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022
IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
Afm, was woke at 3:30 from a dream about an ice cream competition taking place in a cave where I was also timing contractions and listening to the avett bros to actual contractions and cramps. Having a hard time in bed figuring out what's a contraction, what's cramps and what's movement but afraid if I get up the dogs will be triggered. I should just sleep in case they fizzle out but I can't!
ETA: I Fell asleep at 4:45 ish and they've basically fizzled at this point. Sigh.
@rachelsogo hang in there! Newborns don't have a schedule unfortunately so thinft can always change! My lo has brrn fussy tonight and I'm currently nursing after barely sleeping for the past 3 hours!
@SmashJam sorry about everything fizzling out, come in Bernie!
The good thing is I guess is that I feel pretty okay during the day, as long as I don't overdo anything.
@rachelsogo I think many of these little ones are in their first growth spurt so the fussy and nursing for hours in the evening is normal but it is so so stressful and exhausting. Right there with you!
TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
Due date was Nov 2020
DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
TTC: March 2021
IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022
IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
Well baby didnt cluster feed before bed tonight which apparently means mega engorgement j the motn. made worse by dd only nursing on one side a feeding. I was way too tired to pump so i wound up soaked and had to wake up dd to nurse. She was stirring for it though.
Also dh decided tk sleep in the guest room again because apparently I should be the the only one struggling at night. anyways he is supposed to take csre of the toddler. Does he here her crying in the motn in one of my few stretches of sleep despite being right next to her room? Nope! so i have yo go and wake his butt up and he has the nerve to act annoyed....and of course as soon as I get close to finally falling asleep baby wakes up. Im annoyed exhausted and just so over his bs
pumped-
climbed into bed expecting her to give a 3-4 hr stretch. Nope. Awake and fussy from 12-3. She slept 3-4. Then awake and fussy again- nothing working to soothe her let alone get her to go back to bed. Woke up H so I could climb into a hot shower because I think I have multiple clogged ducts? Tried to loosen things up with the hot water and massage. It didn’t work. So I haven’t slept. DD is up. LO is finally asleep. Going to go to the breastfeeding resource center when it opens at 9.
@elizabethrn87 try taking lechitin for the clogged ducts. It really helps. Hopefully you can get some help today. I’m thinking I need some help myself but I can’t afford to have my LC over again, she’s too expensive, and there’s only two in 30 miles of my house that are in network with my insurance. I’m just so sick of being in pain 24/7.
Trying to remind myself that it’s the sleep deprivation talking and it’ll get better when LO actually decides to sleep for longer than 3 hours at night. Every night from 4am on, she refuses to sleep at all unless she’s on me.
I mentioned I'm taking the night shift since DH is going to work so I'm hoping he goes back to 4 hours stretches soon though we are in the midst of the 3week growth spurt! After falling asleep at 545, he was awake at 745, he took a bottle with DH and then he went back to sleep, this morning he actually only drank 2oz. And now I'm too awake to nap anyways...
@elizabethrn87 hopefully the resource center was able to help you out! And hopefully you start having better nights. We have rough nights here and I cannot imagine having to function enough to take care of a toddler.
@zande2016 does your state do any public health outreach for breastfeeding support? My county offers free lactation consulting services so I took advantage of that this week to help with latch issues in having. It sucks if you can't get more help just because you cant afford to have someone come.
I'm totally jealous of anyone talking about a 4 hr stretch! LO is 1 month today and I'm still happy and surprised if I get 3 hours... since DH is back to work I try to do all the motn. Plus I'm bf so he cant feed anyway unless I also pump so I figured no point in us both being up. He does get up with me most of the time on the weekend though.
TTC December 2016
BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17
MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017
BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18
TTC January 2019
BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
@MrsMiller8588 i Hear ya about the 4 hour stretch jealousy!
afm, we are on a solid wake every 3 hours overnight to feed. I don’t mind the 6.5 total hours of sleep, though broken, but what drives me bonkers is the time we are up overnight can range from 30 minutes to almost 2 hours. There is no consistency
TTC December 2016
BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17
MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017
BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18
TTC January 2019
BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
i am scared my baby is doing permanent damage to my nipppes, that’s how bad it hurts, and it’s all I can even think about most days. I am just so angry and resentful that I have to go through all of this and meanwhile his life is just the same as it’s always been.
@lindsayleigh1989 that's infuriating given the sort of high alert in your area.
@MrsMiller8588 so much solidarity, it never takes me less than an hour to do the night routine of change, feed, burp, feed, change, put to sleep. But i have to brag because LO slept 5 hours straight! First time ever.
since he keeps doing it i find ways during the day to irritate him since his excuse is always “i forgot” so ive been “forgetting” to do things for him lately like pack his lunch etc
TTC December 2016
BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17
MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017
BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18
TTC January 2019
BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
slept a solid 8 hours per night. So why is that fair just because he’s going to work during the day? It’s not. I’m “working” too dammit.
I hope once we are on our own things at night will be easier since LO will be 6 weeks!
@julianne0 +1 for being super grateful of DH. He’s not back to work yet and has been up with almost all the MOTN feedings/Changings. Since he’s so helpful during the day and late nights, I tell him to not help with the 3am and on wake ups. He’ll still help if she’s being super fussy. He has a way to swaddle her and rock her to get her back to sleep. It amazes me when it seems like all I can do is give her a boob or paci.
TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
Due date was Nov 2020
DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
TTC: March 2021
IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022
IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
Im with @rachelsogo and @julianne0 on DH support! Because I’m BF, he doesn’t have a task to own so he has taken on all diapering of LO, even MOTN. That’s their time together and then he hands LO off to me clean, fresh and ready to be fed. He’s taken a few weeks off work but considering it’s only a few minute task, he says he plans to contiue it when he returns and he’s excited to feed bottles once i start pumping.
TTC December 2016
BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17
MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017
BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18
TTC January 2019
BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
Seriously though, I feel like my brain is running at half speed.
Then from 12-5/6 I take over for wake ups and while I change the diaper he runs downstairs and gets the bottle for me and then brings her from the changing table to me.
During the day I do tend to do a majority of the feedings. But we share he diaper changes.
ETA: Those wanting DH help MOTN, maybe try pumping enough for however many feedings LO does through the night and let DH take one full night of the entire routine. I find my DH has a new level of appreciation for something that seems like no big deal once he actually has to do it himself with no help from me.