MOTN 7-23 - Page 2 — The Bump
July 2018 Moms

MOTN 7-23


Re: MOTN 7-23

  • DH hasn't changed her diaper once yet. but he does all of our toddler's when he is home usually. with me being home during the day im letting it go though annoying. he does do all our toddler's waking at night so it helps to not have to do both kiddos. 

    by the way DD1 has a cold with a super runny nose.  im having a hard time knowing how to keep the baby a littleaway from her but also not make her off limits. 
  • And846And846 member
    I love some of the ideas about how some of y’allls DH take on additional children abd even the suggestion of a pumped bottle. I can’t wait to be able to pump and hand off a bottle handoff soon! When can i start that? 
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  • @rachelsogo so funny, I feel like my H is also better at cuddling her to rock her down and my only solution is to offer the boob too!
  • nimmlenimmle member
    I’m so sorry for everyone going through DH and MOTN feeding issues. I’m sure i’ll have my fair share when the LO arrives. 

    AFM we had some sexy time tonight hoping to start getting things going. While I didn’t expect to go into labor I was hoping I would at least sleep better......NOPE
    Me: 30 |  DH: 34
    Started Dating: November 2011
    Married: August 2015
    TTC #1 Since: August 2017
    BFP: November 2017

  • When DH was on laterbpat leave we were basically tagging team every night and it was great. As @kbernal2021 I also want him to sleep now that he has a full day of work and I appreciate being relieved in the evening when he is home as he's been feeding and changing LO and putting him to sleep. Gives me a chance to pump and take a shower plus a little time to myself before dinner.
  • And846And846 member
    @nimmle so jealous of that sexy time! Enjoy it! 
  • Any time I ask my DH for help in the MOTN he does whatever it is and then the next day tells me I need to wake him up at night because he feels bad that I do everything. He literally NEVER remembers me waking him up lol He’s going back to work in like 9 days and once he’s back I definitely won’t be waking him at night unless it’s on the weeks he goes to work in the afternoon. Although I am about to start grad school classes again after having a couple months off so I may be so stressed out that I make him stay up all night every night lol

    Kylie M.

    Baby #1 Born 12.16.2015

    Baby #2 Due 7.13.2018

  • Ah, unicorn baby, how I miss thee. I'm prsypra we get another 2.5+ hour stretches after this feed, unlike last night. DD would always sleep s ton after a growth spurt too, maybe that'll happen tomorrow?!?

    My DH helps with most MOTN changes but illI likely chat with him soon about a more formal arrangement. I typically handle the 3:00-4:00 one solo. 

    The biggest thing I want his help with is figuring out the pause method for this kid - he's a screamer! He'll wake from a nap midday, scream at the top of his lungs for 10 seconds, fart, and go back to sleep. 
  • LO wouldnt go to bed until 11 for the life of me. Then woke up at 1:30 and wouldn’t go down until almost 4. THEN the toddler woke up at 5, I got up to put him back to bed, then DH came into the room to lay with him... DS never went back to sleep. And DD woke up 20 minutes later (you know, just long enough for me to fall asleep) with a giant poop. I think I  slept 2.5 hours last night? Hoping to get a stretch in now that DD is finally asleep again and DH is up with DS. Already looking forward to nap time. 
  • So LO doesn’t exactly have day/ night mix up integards to staying awake after a feeding but her hours are shifted . She starts her “night” after a feeding between 4-6 and then around 4 am she likes to stay Awake after that feed.  
  • And846And846 member
    We have started our sleep routine and trying to differentiate day/night with a few minor changes. LO goes down for the night after the 11pm feeding and wakes again at 3ish and than 6ish. Unlike daytime, she gets a tight swaddle and is out to bed. Daytime is a loose blankie on heR. Also, there is no chatting and playing in MOTN. Strictly feed she sleep. After a few weeks when she can go more than 3 hours between a feed I’d love to make bedtime earlier.
  • LO would go back to sleep after his 4 am feeding. All other times (like now) he’ll fall asleep quick while in the boob. So tired!
    H at least woke up to change diapers with no issues. 
    Regarding pumping for H the to do night feedings, It’s a good idea except I’d still have to wake to pump and i might as well nurse and not wash bottles later.
  • Anyone else feel their days and nights are running together? 
  • @lindsayleigh1989 definitely feel like days and nights are running together. Since LO had/has days and nights mixed up I end up not going to sleep till 2:30am and staying in bed till noon (no toddler here luckily). Then I end up eating lunch and dinner at appropriate times, but by midnight I’m starving again and end up eating another meal. LO is up till 2am(ish) for his witching hour and even once he goes down I can’t fall asleep. 
  • @And846 we somehow ended up with the night feeding between 730and 8pm and that's been working great, lo doesn't wake until midnight or even later (3am the past 2 nights!) We do have a later dinner but at least we get a couple of hours to hang out before bed . I know I should go to bed at 9pm but need some distraction and time with DH.

    Also someone mentioned that they may sleep a lot at the end of a spurt, well, the cluster feeding has been less intense the last 3 days and he's slept 5-6 hours stretches at night! Enjoying it while it lasts...
  • Update: I jinxed us. DD is now cluster feeding. Yay lol

    Kylie M.

    Baby #1 Born 12.16.2015

    Baby #2 Due 7.13.2018

  • Well my H is being a real jackass tonight. I’ve actually asked him to get up and help me a few times tonight because, well, I’m exhausted and need some help. Apparently he just can’t handle it though. The baby was fussing in his bassinet and I’d heard him poop twice and he had hiccups. I could tell he wasn’t settling and even though he was sort of asleep I knew he’d be crying soon. So I asked my H go change his diaper and get him settled. He didn’t like that, and was whining and complaining the whole time that baby was sleeping and he shouldn’t have to change him. so basically I may as well have just done it myself since it’s not like I actually got to sleep, since  l had to listen to him complain the whole time, then of course he wanted to nurse yet again so now my H is snoring away while I’m still up and haven’t slept more than an hour yet tonight, currently at 3:30am. 
  • I’m better at handling sleep deprivation than DH. Doesn’t make things very fair but he is such a crank and it sucks so I work to let him sleep. With ds1 I just took over and dh doesn’t remember it being that way which is annoying. Anyway with the twins he has to help, I can’t do it all alone so he’s on diaper duty. I appreciate the help but our three am conversations are so annoying and short
  • I’m sorry to everyone having motn husband helping issues. I would lose it if I didn’t have help. 

    Our plan was for my husband to do nighttime diapers since I have to nurse. However, that’s changed into husband handling any time baby wakes between feedings and getting him back to sleep after I nurse. I do diaper changes right before nursing so we decided it wouldn’t make sense for him to have to get up for that, sleep while I nurse and then get up to get him back to sleep. So far I really like our current arrangement. I can hand baby off after feeding and go straight to sleep to make sure I get maximum sleeping time between feedings.
  • Every night I'm up at 230 am for hours just waiting to fall back asleep... No baby, no contractions... Just awake and exhausted.its the worst.
  • I think what ashbub suggested would be a great alternative to husbands who are doing diapers. Usually my kid wants to eat after a diaper change anyway, so it would be pointless for my husband to do that

  • LO is giving only 2-3 hr stretches during the night now. Yawn. We are downstairs after she woke up at 4 because she doesn’t want to go back to bed. 
  • DD wouldn’t sleep in her cot AT ALL last night. This girl is testing me!! I guess a 5 am wake up wasn’t too bad though.. Now hopefully I can get her to nurse then sleep so I can get a nap in. Momma is tired!

    Kylie M.

    Baby #1 Born 12.16.2015

    Baby #2 Due 7.13.2018

  • Like what @crabcake18 says about the husband not being great at handling sleep deprivation, I plan on doing all the MOTN stuff for that reason. His job will be handling the toddler if he wakes up, and being in charge of toddler during the day when I want to nap/have to nurse. For us, it makes more sense to have him be closer to 100% than it does for him to help me change diapers in the MOTN because I would lose my shit if he was like, "I have to nap" in the middle of the day because he was tired lol. That being said, he is 100% aware of the fact that this arrangement is basically due to him being a huge baby, so I anticipate that he will try and help at first to prove he's not a giant baby, then give in to tiredness and go ahead and have permission to sleep through.
  • LO slept nearly 7 hrs! WTH! I was so worried he might have been awake a while but it seems like he had just woken up. Last night DH asked me if he could wake up with me and hold it for a bit...hes h missed him a lot while back at work. So he got him out of the basdbass, changed his diaper and now I'm in the middle of a breastfeeding session. Hopefully this little guy has grown a lot in the past
    2 weeks.
  • @kissableviv I'm so jealous of 7 hours! The longest we get here is 4 at night. We're having to set an alarm for that so I'm not sure how long DS would sleep if we let him. He's gaining weight but slowly so we're still not being given the green light to just let him wake us. 

    I wish I could nap during the day, I try but I've always been a terrible napper. Since DS was born, I've managed exactly 1 nap. I've tried plenty of times but always just end up laying there. It's like daytime insomnia or something. Lol.
  • @noideawhatshesdoing I'm a horrible napper too. Always wake up so groggy. 
    7 hours were from 8p to 3am. I'm dumb and did not go to bed until 1130pm. I need to do better! I did not get to shower until bed time and I had to pump, so, yeah.

    Well we took 2 hours to nurse and put LO back to sleep. He had a couple of spit ups, seems to be happening a lot and I'm sure it's normal but also I need to be more diligent with burping. Anyways after that he had the hiccups. So I was holding him and massaging his back and rocking him. He seemed to be getting sleepy so I put him in his sleep sack but he started crying. He woke DH up.

    I thought he wanted more food and for the first time ever he unlatched right away, nope, wasn't that. The crying was SO INTENSE! thought it was a diaper and set up everything to change him, he is still screaming like he is being killed. DH and I are both tired so we do a bad job at covering him up...and so he pees. All over the changing pad, and on my bedsheets I just changed that day. Immediately after peeing, he quiets down, finally sucks on the pacifier, and pretty much falls asleep. Wtf kid?? That was the weirdest crying episode ever. He's back asleep now...

  • Wish DS could handle a diaper change before feeding. He usually poops while nursing so most times he’s woke up by that again. Sometimes even two changes! We got a pooper in our hands. He also hates to nurse while dirty. So we’ll change, nurse on one boob, then try the second boob but if he had a major poop session we have change again if he stops nursing but really wants it. Our 4 hr stretchs are gone. We are down to every two hrs and luck to get 3. Idk why and i hate it. He’s been more awake during the day too. I’m exhausted.
  • You know what I really don’t get though? Night nurses. I see people looking for them all the time on my local Facebook mom groups, and I don’t get it. It only makes sense if you’re formula feeding, because if you’re breastfeeding or pumping, I feel like there’s zero point in a night nurse. You’d still have to wake up to pump or feed, so you’re paying a nurse $40 an hour to change diapers and swaddle/rock/burp? And one of my coworkers, who I know for a fact breastfed her kids, was telling me how the best thing she ever did was get a night nurse. What am I missing? I mean, not that I can afford one anyway lol, but I am just nosy I guess. 
  • Ditto to night nurses. I feel like someone on here who had twins had one gifted to her and loved it, so maybe with twins it makes a huge difference. I can't remember her user name but she delivered at 35 weeks and hasn't really been on since.
  • @SmashJam I could see it for twins, I can’t imagine how hard it is to juggle two all night long, but then again if I had twins my H would be up all night with us for sure. 
  • Regarding night nurses, I think it depends on the baby... my first would NOT sleep on her own. She had to be on my lap. This new baby can be put down after about 30 minutes to an hour... my first one just would not sleep. I was to the point of hallucinating due to lack of sleep. In hindsight, I should have hired one at least once a week or so just so I could catch up. Even if I had to wake to nurse a few times, that would have been better than nothing.

    AFM, my normally great sleeper newborn decided to wake literally every hour on the hour last night from 1 am until now. I tried to get my husband to watch my 3yo when she woke up at 8, but he is simply too tired since he stayed up until 2 playing video games....

    His solution was offering to skip work so I can sleep.... really? Just suck it up and operate on 6 hours sleep like normal people, or go to bed earlier....

  • nimmlenimmle member
    KatyF0813 said:
    Every night I'm up at 230 am for hours just waiting to fall back asleep... No baby, no contractions... Just awake and exhausted.its the worst.
    This....sooooo much this
    Me: 30 |  DH: 34
    Started Dating: November 2011
    Married: August 2015
    TTC #1 Since: August 2017
    BFP: November 2017

  • @noideawhatshesdoing I LOVED naps pre-babies, post-babies, but since having DD I can’t shut my mind off quick enough mid-day to get a good nap in. So frustrating. 

    DD slept 3.5 hours last night! Not much, but it’s the longest stretch yet! I woke up before her and saw her stirring so I basically dream fed her since I was up... I wonder if she would have slept longer if I let her be. 
  • moguippymoguippy member
    edited July 2018
    DS did almost 4 hours between feedings twice last night. It’s a miracle. However I didn’t sleep much during the first stretch bc I was still doing all the night chores/pumping/showering. He took an hour to go down after he nursed at 3am but didn’t wake up till 6:40!  There is hope! Lol. At 6:40 I was so delirious I woke DH up to get up with him bc I was so exhausted that I thought I had just fed LO (maybe I dreamed it?). Then I realized I hadn’t and got up to feed him and DH looked at me like I was crazy. Hoping the 4 hours stretches last!   Does anyone have any ideas to get baby to sleep faster after night nursing?  He is usually up for at least an hour at every feeding 

    eta fix words
  • MH and I have started using @ashbub714’s method — I wake to nurse and do diaper changes (since I’m getting up anyway), and it’s MH’s job to soothe him back to sleep if he’s too alert afterwards. It’s working pretty well for us. 
  • @moguippy I have the same problem you do. It takes an hour by the time I change, feed, then wait for a poop. DH went back to work today for meetings, so I did all of motn by myself and am exhausted today, but he has been taking over after the feed so that both of us are only awake about 30 mins, and this is what we'll continue to do on weekends. 
  • +1 for taking roughly an hour if not more between nursing burping changing and potentially dealing with a fussy baby for a bit before he goes back to sleep. I would like to be more efficient but I'm also tired once I wake up and therefore slow. That sucks!
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