I can't believe it. We told her we wanted to have a date night and she's heading downstairs. Seems ok with it too? Not a long term solution and the talking still needs to happen, but for tonight - I'll take it.
@drurose concerning your tv shows, ummm I'd just put them on. If she doesn't like it she can go downstairs and watch her own tv. I would even say you have to catch up on them because you haven't watched them in weeks.
@drurose enjoy your Friday night! Also, maybe you can install a lock on the door between her space and yours that she can’t unlock as long as she has her own exit through another way. Sounds brutal typing it out but if nothing else works... haha
Totally agree with @hellopartyof5 watch your shows!! No one is forcing her to watch them and she has her own space she can go watch what she wants, you shouldnt be put on the back burner for your bfs mom. I'm glad you get to have date night in peace but you shouldn't have to ask for that in your Own home.
@SawyerRichardson Thank you for that compliment! It's not easy when every part of my brain is screaming about all the crazy going down. Lol
@sliztee I've decided, if it's what you guys want, I'll just add little bits of crazy that have happened in the last 11 years (yup, 11 years of this crazy shit! We started dating when I was 12. His cousin was my best friend and introduced us. We have been together most of the last 18yrs. The last 11 of that living together/engaged/married) to keep you (and everyone else) entertained, between things happening, in current life. Although I'm sure there will be plenty of new crazy, through SIL's pregnancy and their crazy that will pop up during the rest of mine. There's lots of it
@sammierose464 thankfully it was at a big park type thing, and I could easily get away, or else I'm pretty sure my head would explode! It's never easy when dealing with them. And I've not always been nice. Lol Thankfully I don't have to deal with them much. Mostly the walkie talkie app, holidays and maybe a random visit with SIL to see nephew. But because summer and family situations happening, I forsee at least more SIL and GMIL interactions in the future.
@jynjer91 Yes, definitely! And she relishes that title as well. And it will only get worse as she gets farther along. She has always been the "golden child" because she almost died as a little kid (freak accident that DH blames himself for, and because she is a girl, but that's a whole other can of worms.). But now that she's an adult and continues to make questionable choices, people aren't as enthusiastically catering to her and the crazy show. And she can't not be the center of attention! So having to "share" the pregnancy light, with me (despite the fact that I'm almost halfway through and it's not a competition) should be interesting to say the least.
@britvahok which part/one? Lol Most all of them are damn crazy and selfish assholes. Our time with them is limited, but with us both being pregnant and summer coming, I will at least have to listen to more of her crazy via the walkie talkie video app, if not a few more visits than normal (I do love my nephew, and so does LO. So we tolerate SIL occasionally for that reaaon.) MIL I only see usually once a year (sometimes 2 days in like a 4/5 day span, if they stay with GMIL for 4th of July). And she doesn't get on the walkie talkie app/call much. I had lots of training with crazy and toxic from my bio dad/his family/step family before I even met DH, so I was well armed to deal with this from the beginning, thankfully!
Well, it's only a small update but an update none the less. SIL videoed this morning. Said she had her office check (which you don't see dr. You talk with the financial resources lady and your drs nurse.) Apparently (despite having normal periods and being on the pill for 5+ years) she some how has "no real idea" when her last period was. So they are now guessing she is 4 week *eye roll*. But because she is insanely dramatic, was high risk last time and kept going on and on to the nurse about the cramping she's having, and kept throwing around the word hernia. The new dr she is seeing is now concerned she has an encapsulated hernia, and I imagine the possibility of ectopic. (Can you see me rolling my eyes to freakin Mars?!) She's been checked for hernias before (as precaution because of getting ran over when she was little.) She's never had one. So please, pray tell, how you know the cramping/feelings you are having "like when turning over" are "like a hernia". Guys, my eyes are going to get stuck in the back of my skull. (I have a hernia that has to be operated on after Lana is born. It feels nothing alike. Smh) Also after only 1 dose of antiemetic/antinausea med, it's helping "so much, she can finally eat". I've heard at least 6 times today how she almost peed her pants because she was laughing, and she may not be big yet, but she can't hold it if she needs to pee. Your baby is like the size of a poppyseed if you're 4 weeks...not effecting your bladder like that.
On a side note, MIL is scheduled for a hysterectomy and "probably" a bladder sling at the end of the month. She'll be off work for 6 weeks minimum. I'm waiting to hear how we should come visit. (That 6 weeks happens to fall directly on Ds's 2nd birthday.)
Random drama to keep you going until more happens: DH and I have had an off and off relationship since I was 12 (he's only about 2.5/3yrs older) but I never knew his mom, because he lived with his dad by then. When we got back together for this last time (the last 11 years lol) I finally met his mom. She wasn't thrilled. I went over to see him on Christmas eve, before going to mass with my grandpa (I don't believe like him, but he used to love for someone to go with him.) When I got there, his mom ws pacing around with a piss look on her face and my husband was in tears. Instantly I was worried. She didn't even give us space to discuss what was going on. He couldn't figure out how to tell me, so he just had me listen to this voicemail. It was a girl he had slept with before, claiming she was pregnant, it was his and and he wanted him to know. (Yes, she DID leave this message on fucking Christmas eve. She was insanely jealous we were together, and pissed off he never wanted a relationship with her.) He just sat there crying (DH isn't an overly emotional person, at all) convinced I would walk (thanks to his mother's words in his ear.) He just kept apologizing. We've loved each other since we were very young, I wasn't going anywhere. I told him we weren't together, so he had nothing to be sorry for. We'd get through it. MIL looked at mE with the most fucked up look and said "Well you're a better fucking woman the me! Cuz I would have said fuck this shit! And walked as soon as I heard this bullshit!" And stormed off to find her cigarettes. Ya, she said that to me, as I was comforting her crying son.
Found out later it could be 2 other guys, she just thought he would feel responsible and play family with her for the kid's sake. We talked, told her let us know when baby is born, so we can do DNA at the hospital. If it's his we want to be involved. Her story then quickly changed to she counted wrong and other guy is 99% daddy, and he will be tested first. If he was negative, she would let us know so we could do DNA. Magically didn't hear from her...
@jomama1618 MIL sounds as peachy as SIL. It sounds like SIL was the type to peak in high school and is trying everything she can to get that attention back
Oh @mamabearcj they are quite the pair! I don't think the term "like mother, like daughter" had ever been so true. And that's pretty fitting of SIL. She didn't finish out her graduating year (bc of having my nephew and MIL bailing on her promise of watching him so she could. Part of more drama I'll add later.) But she definitely peaked in hs (but has been the center of attention since she was little, because of almost dying when she got ran over. And DH blames himself for that, so he's always just accepted it. He's just now starting to see how much he is really pushed aside, and that her and her kids are the golden kids of the family. Although us having the first girl is throwing a wrench in that. Especially when they realize one of her middle names is after his grandma... He thought once our first was born, things would change, but they didn't. They have never reacted the same with our son, as they did nephew.) And is constantly chasing that. It also drives her crazy that crazy, big (and often bad) things seem to happen to us (my nickname is Murphy, for Murphy's law. Whatever can happen, will. And that's been my life since I was born lol All of those 1 in a million/won't actually happen type things that Drs and people say will "never happen" happen to me, and now DH by extension). Since thsee things are out of the norm, of course people pay attention, therfore she looses her spotlight.
I can't believe we are about to start another 2 months worth of Crazy family threads! (I think doing 2 months at a time works well?) It's been relatively quiet since my last update, but probably won't be for long. SIL's dating ultrasound is next week. We finally find out how far along she actually is (and if it really is new bfs like she has said it is/hopes beyond hope it is). Their "guess" puts new baby VERY close in due date with nephew's birthday (like 5 days or less). I still don't understand how that "guess" adds up *eye roll* Then MIL'S surgery is 1 week after SIL'S ultrasound. Could be very interesting very quickly...
Random drama (that correlates with the above ) So 1-2 weeks of us getting married, Dh's job laid off over half the company. Most had been there just shy of the requirements for unemployment. We live in a rural area, not a lot of job opportunities. We were staying with my mom at the moment, and DH decided we should go stay with his mom to try to get jobs (WAY bigger city. Still a mistake.) We had out own room with the agreement that when we started work, we would help with bills. No biggie, we don't expect to live for free. Well SIL has an emergency cerclage done before 20 weeks, and ends up on complete bedrest, living on the couch (we all worked different shifts, so someone was all ways there to help with her.) So that's 6 adults (2 couples, and 2 separate single people) in a very small 3 bedroom house. Things are as ok as can be expected. MIL makes all kinds of promises to SIL (including switching shifts so SIL could do half days to finish her couple senior credits and finish her cna class so she could immediately have the job that was lined up for her after finishing). During this time, MIL also marries emigrant worker that is fixing the roof of the building at her work (who needs a green card to stay in country, that she has known maybe 2 months. I swear everything he said was a lie and he was creepy and constantly trying to find ways to be alone with me, or touch me. That was all kinds of crazy and marriage #...3-4 I believe).
We have been paying a large chunk of bills/rent every month at this point, both us working factory jobs(this is important). Nephew is born, things are strained but still work-able. We avoid being there as much as possible, (other than seeing/taking care of nephew, when she wasnt parading him around like a shiny new toy) while saving money to get out. Things seem ok for about a month and a half after nephew is born, then suddenly MIL comes home saying everyone in the house (her included) are being evicted. And we have like 2 weeks to figure it out. To say we were pissed was an understatement. I wanted to know where all the money went since she obviously wasn't paying bills! (In the middle of all this, but a little before the "eviction" MIL'S new "husband" of like 2 months goes to a construction job states away and never returns...MIL acts like it's whatever, and goes back to ex she left before getting married (who she left for being an alcoholic and drug addict, that was violent when not sober. Great guy when he was sober though!)
So remember me saying all the crap she promised SIL she would do/help with so she could have a better life for them? Ya...that's where this comes in... While in the middle of packing (DH was gone, taking/unloading a load to where we were staying, SIL was visiting friend so they could see baby, no one there but MIL and I) MIL basically corners me and confesses that after we move out, and SIL goes to visit family for a few days, that her and BF are moving to Texas! (He is mexican, here legally, with family in Texas right around the boarder and in Mexico. Just explaining why Texas). She then attempts to swear me to secrecy from telling any of her kids!!! Like WHY in the f*ck did you tell me?! I say whatever and keep packing. I wait until we finish getting our stuff out that night to tell my husband, as if I'm not going to tell him! I've explained his lack of care where she is concerned (for good reason) so he basically said whatever. (Obviously not realizing the other siblings didn't/wouldn't know).
She gets to Texas before calling SIL and letting her know where she is and that she isn't coming back. SIL is devestated and scared. Dh's dad helps her get into a income based apartment, only for them to find out MIL had used her name and SS# to open a utilities account in her name (as a minor). It was a LARGE bill. They told her for them to clear her name and let her have an account, she would have to go forward with fraud paperwork, including a police report. She was so brainwashed, that she didn't want to file because it was her mom! (Even though it would keep her from getting her apartment, if she didn't). Eventually Dh's dad convinced her to file and she got her place (with lots of help and money from him). She never did get to go back to school or finish her cna license. But she walks back to MIL with open arms, every time, with the same expectation that this time will be different... Moving into the apartment started the time of us raising nephew.
@drurose I might just retreat into your bedroom when she comes up, and have bf like go start cleaning the kitchen or something. Passive aggressive “I’m just being in my apartment... I can’t act like I have company every time you’re here if you’re ALWAYS here” shit. Not sure that’s the best way to handle it but it is probably what I would do.
@SawyerRichardson No worries lol I've had plenty of time to deal, now I just sit back and laugh at the crazy! My hope is maybe sharing the crazy will help someone else some day!
Ladies, I'm sure it will only get more entertaining from here! Lol (I totally get it, I love drama that doesn't directly involve me )
So, the drama slowly begins... Wednesday was the ever enlightening ultrasound. So she videos me. Says we'll, we found out news, not bad, but a little different than we expected. Then asks how far along I am (zero clue why that was relevant, other than making sure there was time between so I don't steal her spotlight I guess!).
So she then proceeds to say that her guess at when her period was, was obviously wrong (DUH!) because this baby is measuring 11 freakin weeks!!! 11 WEEKS!!! And I believe 5 days to be more exact! So much for their 4-5 week estimate right?
Well this shocks everyone, but then Dh's grandma and Uncle get excited because baby is due like 2 weeks before their birthday! Oh joy... Funny because this is the same Uncle that just showed major dismay and some jealousy at her "random, accidental pregnancy" as he and his new wife (Married last fall) have been seriously trying since getting married, and having issues. Funny how quick shit changes. (His wife is a whole other level of weirdness and only wanting to bond with/interact with/do things with bits and pieces of the family, despite how close he has been with all of us before.) So I text her quickly (because 6 has a big mouth and repeats everything, because she's little and was in the room lol and also because I'm the only one that knows it may not be new bfs) and comment on the fact that, it puts her supposed conception date the same week that she left her ex and "started dating" new bf. (2 days from the day she moved out to the day she supposedly conceived. This is all based on baby's growth in one scan. No actual dates...color me skeptical) She argues with me that while it's the same week, the day that it supposedly puts conception at is in fact, the first night they done anything... She's been using the same birth control for 9 years successfully...even "tried" (to get pregnant) with a few exes during this time. (As someone who battled IF, her version of "trying" is patronizing. Which basically usually included skipping some pills and hoping it was when she ovulated...), Was supposedly still on it (no antibiotics or anything that would make it not work, I asked when she was first freaking out). Has literally had the same alarm set, for the same time every day, for those 9 years. But wants me to believe some how he magically got her pregnant on the first time, in the same week she left her ex (who she was still randomly sleeping with) with all precautions, and there is no way it is ex's. And all this "dating"/conception etc is going by baby's size in the 1 and only scan she's had... I'm not buying it lady!!! She was pretty defensive that I even asked about the timing *shrug*. Then it seemed she was trying to wink wink nudge nudge guilt me towards being the one to throw her baby shower. By going on about how she has no idea who would possibly throw her a shower etc. Ya, because that's just what I want to do heavily pregnant or post partum. Our kids should be born like 10 weeks apart, no thanks. Plus, she has tons of "friends", I'm sure one of them would love to do it! *Note the sarcasm, please* Next month they are sending her 2.5 hours away to do a cervical cerclage... Which they did at the local hospital last time, so why TF send her away this time... That will of course be made a gigantic deal of. She's also been plastering fb with kid/baby/parenting/attachment parenting and similar memes... Coming from the farthest thing from an attachment parent as I've seen. It's already starting to get obnoxious. One talked about how her addiction is taking care of her kids. Funny since my nephew has legit spent most his life with us or his great grandparents (including basically all school breaks and at least more than half her weekends (he has every other weekend with his dad, now that he is out of jail.). Oh and she finds out the sex, right around our 10 year wedding anniversary. (They only do ultrasounds certain days. So it will be either 1-2 days before our anniversary or on our anniversary) I'm sure we will miss their reveal party to celebrate our anniversary. I'll hear about missing it, whatever. It's only going to get more interesting from here/now!
Fun drama fact: we went through the paternity crap with nephew. Even though she at one point told me the dates didn't add up, she took supposed daddy of nephew back. Even gave nephew his middle name!!! Nephew had to stay in the hospital a little longer. DNA test came back before they were discharged. NOT the father! 2 other guys tested. Not the father. Her ex shows up with baby pictures (someone told him about nephew, and that he looked like him). She swears timing is off, but the pictures are convincing. Dude goes to jail. She files for state help so state makes her list possible fathers. Dude is tested in jail (nephew is 2-3 at this point), you ARE the father! His mother harasses her, basically staying that she has legal right to his visitation while he's in jail, and she will sue her in court blah blah (she was letting her see him, also this is not a grandparent's rights state. She would have got nothing.) The threats and harassing got crazy until we made her go talk to the people who had her do the paternity test. This crazy woman had her convinced because she "knew people" she could get full/sole physical custody of nephew! They told her his mother had no legal grounds. We had to push her to not give in, but she finally started standing up to her. Dad's been out of jail for awhile, so the grandma visits are severely limited to his discretion on his time.
MIL's surgery is next week, I'll keep you updated on that...
@jomama1618 wow. i seriously love reading your updates LOL!
I have a semi-similar way less dramatic story to share. DH cousin who was 20 at the time, got his gf pregnant just a few weeks apart from when DH and I were due with DS. They kept the baby, had a beautiful little girl and her and my son are now 3 weeks apart in age and get along great. We don't see them a ton, but it's nice when we do. We all kindof questioned whether or not that pregnancy was actually an 'oops'. This cousins gf comes from a family of multiple teen moms (no judgement, just saying this is something she has been around her whole life), and had even mentioned before that she wanted to be a young mom. I really do believe the pregnancy was planned. These cousins are young, are not financially stable, and are currently living in government assisted living. They were so afraid to tell my husbands family about the pregnancy that they didn't announce until she was 7 MONTHS ALONG!! Must be nice to be 19 and still able to hide that sh*t LOL.
Fast forward 2 years and now DH and i are obviously expecting #2. We find out that they are ALSO expecting #2!! Big shocker there. Again, they are claiming this was an 'oops' and that they weren't sure what they were going to do. TW** I guess they had talked to their parents about the possibility of abortion/adoption' End TW** They are going to keep the baby, she is due in December. So now they will have 2 little ones, with very little income, living in government assisted living. I just couldn't imagine that situation at the age of 22.
We of course wish them the best, but know this is not going to be an easy road ahead for them.
@britvahok it definitely is! And the crazy part is this is actually WAY more calm then the past because now MIL is states away, and a little more preoccupied with stuff (I thank the distance and her new husband for that!) And the drama from my side of the family (which is less than in laws but still very there!) Is calmed more because some people moving/changes in circumstances. And yup, 2nd who's baby daddy craziness, but she won't admit to anyone but me that there is a possibility. I hope he asks for a DNA test at the hospital!
@mamabearcj I have no answer. Lol If I had to deal with it anyore, I'd probably not deal so well. Thank goodness for at least a little distance!
@nasalot188 I'm just glad it serves more good than making me ask WTF?! a whole lot. Lol And definitely sounds like it was intentional. I too, hope they can handle everything that will be going on for them!
@chopchop25 Some days I definitely don't, and have to ignore her til I can deal with her level of crazy. And then I usually have like 37 texts and at least 3 phone calls, when I do that.
So this will be the last post on this thread (at least for me) Since tomorrow is the 1st of July! When something new happens (which I'm sure will be quickly because the 4th, since I have to spend the day with SIL and DS's birthday is that week as well.) I will start the new thread for July/August, unless someone has some crazy they need to share before then and starts it!
So MIL's surgery was Wednesday. GMIL drove down Tuesday morning (it's about 6-8 hours drive from what I'm told) and will be staying with her until sometime between Saturday and next Tuesday (she wants to be he for the 4th because that's where the remaining family celebrates the 4th). MIL told her husband not to waste his days off because her mom would be there to help. GMIL videoed the family group a few minutes after the Dr talked to them and told them everything went well, and she was just waking up in recovery before being moved to her room. Apparently that wasn't good enough, so MIL had to video us all herself, after getting in her room (still hazy) and talk to everyone. (About how sore she was, and how long she would be there, and how they had to pack her with a ton of packing etc). So in response SIL has to respond (remember, this a family group, so we all get these) and goes on dramatically about how she's glad her mom is ok, but she can't even bare to look at her without crying, because *sobs* she is supposed to be there. (No reason why she is supposed to, other than she's her daughter. Kicker is she didn't attempt to get it off and go there. She could have. Her son in with his dad right now. She's caring for bf's kids while he works (when she's home) but they could stay where ever they do when they both work. Or you know, where they went before her.) More dramatics, more tears. Then goes on about how sick she is, and just getting out of bed at 3:30pm *eye roll* because she just didn't feel good at all. (But her video before that, from last night was just talking about how great she was doing with the meds she was given, and being able to do stuff and have energy). Apparently not even surgery let's you keep some spotlight around here! Oh and she's already started in on the dramatics that she has to have that stitch put in, and has to go to a big hospital, with a more specialized Dr. (Again, funny how they did the same thing in our small hospital here last time...) Oh! So then, after I refuse to acknowledge her attempted guilting to agree I'll do the shower, she decides she needs to take matters into her own hands. Y'all, she posted on FB!!! At 11-12 weeks pregnant "So just going to throw this out there, cuz I guess I got no clue. Is anyone going to throw me a baby shower?!?!?!" Yup, she really just asked everyone she knew if one of them was going to throw her a shower, and in the first trimester at that! I was mortified!!! She doesn't even get how tacky and horrid that was! It literally took every inkling of my being and walking away from fb and my phone to not call her out on how damn ridiculous that shit was! Then someone she knows was all "Oh, I've never planned a shower, that sounds like fun! I'll do it!" I vaguely know her because of SIL, and she's kind of naive. I am willing to bet all the internet dollars she doesn't realize planning a shower means you are usually the one paying for it! Then she offered to do their "gender reveal party" *cringe* The crazy continues, friend asks when she is due, gets response and says "so we should do it in November or December then". The first thing that goes through my head is, there is ZERO chance I am taking my newborn to a baby shower in flu season!" (I already know she expects me to be there. She wants us to be like sister best friends and is upset when we aren't at every possible family type thing or don't want to/can't go do stuff together.) Then the super petty part of my brain (you know, the shady part that tells you to do mean shit lol) laughed and thought, can you imagine how crazy jealous she would go if baby and I DID show up, and suddenly the spotlight wasn't on her? Because, you know, newborn and people we/she knows are baby crazy! LMAO I don't think she has thought that through (not that I want to risk baby's health anyway). As if that's not enough, she then comments "we need to get lots and lots of people to come! *Smiley face*" My mouth hung open. I was like you did not just seriously say that... She also said I should "keep everything for her" meaning anything I have from Ds and all things from October baby. I am all for passing stuff down, but that annoyed me. Especially with her "huge shower with lots and lots of people". And as far as I know, we aren't having any kind of shower/sprinkle etc because this is our second kid in 2 years. Around here/our back ground you don't do that having 2 close together (unless special circumstances like multiples). Although my cousins sent 2 boxes of clothes from their girls (which was so sweet, despite the fact that I'm still stain treating a bunch of them on the 3rd wash. I love them, and am thankful for them passing stuff on. Which has basically became tradition in our very large family, I sent lots to them as well. But guys, I would be mortified to send anything to someone in the conditions of some of those. Sorry if that seems petty/mean, just one thing my anxiety/OCD messes with me about. I'm a little crazy about mine, DH included, not wearing stained or misfitting/messed up clothes.) We will be re-buying all other necessities on our own. (We got rid of most everything. We were told DS was medically impossible (getting pregnant with/carrying), so despite trying (and having another loss) we figured it would be years again, if ever.) I think it just bothered me that she is already expecting everyone to provide everything, despite them both working full time (which is more than most those around us.) On an unrelated note, I've been trying to weeks to set up stuff for DS's birthday party, so as much family could make it as possible, yet all the in laws basically refuse to even comment on if they are going to attempt to come (even when we do everything imaginable to accommodate them, including making sure the party is at a central easy to get to location that is a short drive for all)... you can be sure everyone has drove all over hell's half acre (including more than an hour away to damn Chuck e cheese) for every one of nephew's birthdays. I should be used to it, and maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, but this is pissing me off more than normal.
@jomama1618 dang, girl. Hugs to you for dealing with that level of crazy. I even cringed at you just mentioning her asking for a baby shower via facebook. yikes.
@jomama1618 holy hell I feel like I went through a soap opera! First I'm glad MILs surgery went well. As for SIL I would find anyone you could possibly give stuff to instead of her but I'm super petty so *shrugs* I don't think I'd bring a newborn to her shower in the middle of flu season but if your up to it that'd be great to steal her spotlight, if not she'd definitely be pissed you didnt go but that's her problem, not yours. She already has a child why is she expecting a second shower?? It's too bad someone doesn't comment that its tacky or gift grabby to her but I don't think she'd get it if they did.. you have the patience of a saint momma!
Re: Official Crazy Family Thread (May/June)
@sliztee I've decided, if it's what you guys want, I'll just add little bits of crazy that have happened in the last 11 years (yup, 11 years of this crazy shit! We started dating when I was 12. His cousin was my best friend and introduced us. We have been together most of the last 18yrs. The last 11 of that living together/engaged/married) to keep you (and everyone else) entertained, between things happening, in current life. Although I'm sure there will be plenty of new crazy, through SIL's pregnancy and their crazy that will pop up during the rest of mine. There's lots of it
@sammierose464 thankfully it was at a big park type thing, and I could easily get away, or else I'm pretty sure my head would explode! It's never easy when dealing with them. And I've not always been nice. Lol Thankfully I don't have to deal with them much. Mostly the walkie talkie app, holidays and maybe a random visit with SIL to see nephew. But because summer and family situations happening, I forsee at least more SIL and GMIL interactions in the future.
@jynjer91 Yes, definitely! And she relishes that title as well. And it will only get worse as she gets farther along. She has always been the "golden child" because she almost died as a little kid (freak accident that DH blames himself for, and because she is a girl, but that's a whole other can of worms.). But now that she's an adult and continues to make questionable choices, people aren't as enthusiastically catering to her and the crazy show. And she can't not be the center of attention! So having to "share" the pregnancy light, with me (despite the fact that I'm almost halfway through and it's not a competition) should be interesting to say the least.
@britvahok which part/one? Lol Most all of them are damn crazy and selfish assholes. Our time with them is limited, but with us both being pregnant and summer coming, I will at least have to listen to more of her crazy via the walkie talkie video app, if not a few more visits than normal (I do love my nephew, and so does LO. So we tolerate SIL occasionally for that reaaon.) MIL I only see usually once a year (sometimes 2 days in like a 4/5 day span, if they stay with GMIL for 4th of July). And she doesn't get on the walkie talkie app/call much. I had lots of training with crazy and toxic from my bio dad/his family/step family before I even met DH, so I was well armed to deal with this from the beginning, thankfully!
On a side note, MIL is scheduled for a hysterectomy and "probably" a bladder sling at the end of the month. She'll be off work for 6 weeks minimum. I'm waiting to hear how we should come visit. (That 6 weeks happens to fall directly on Ds's 2nd birthday.)
Random drama to keep you going until more happens:
DH and I have had an off and off relationship since I was 12 (he's only about 2.5/3yrs older) but I never knew his mom, because he lived with his dad by then. When we got back together for this last time (the last 11 years lol) I finally met his mom. She wasn't thrilled. I went over to see him on Christmas eve, before going to mass with my grandpa (I don't believe like him, but he used to love for someone to go with him.) When I got there, his mom ws pacing around with a piss look on her face and my husband was in tears. Instantly I was worried. She didn't even give us space to discuss what was going on. He couldn't figure out how to tell me, so he just had me listen to this voicemail. It was a girl he had slept with before, claiming she was pregnant, it was his and and he wanted him to know. (Yes, she DID leave this message on fucking Christmas eve. She was insanely jealous we were together, and pissed off he never wanted a relationship with her.) He just sat there crying (DH isn't an overly emotional person, at all) convinced I would walk (thanks to his mother's words in his ear.) He just kept apologizing. We've loved each other since we were very young, I wasn't going anywhere. I told him we weren't together, so he had nothing to be sorry for. We'd get through it. MIL looked at mE with the most fucked up look and said "Well you're a better fucking woman the me! Cuz I would have said fuck this shit! And walked as soon as I heard this bullshit!" And stormed off to find her cigarettes. Ya, she said that to me, as I was comforting her crying son.
Found out later it could be 2 other guys, she just thought he would feel responsible and play family with her for the kid's sake. We talked, told her let us know when baby is born, so we can do DNA at the hospital. If it's his we want to be involved. Her story then quickly changed to she counted wrong and other guy is 99% daddy, and he will be tested first. If he was negative, she would let us know so we could do DNA. Magically didn't hear from her...
I'll add more tomorrow. I need some sleep!
I can't believe we are about to start another 2 months worth of Crazy family threads! (I think doing 2 months at a time works well?)
It's been relatively quiet since my last update, but probably won't be for long.
SIL's dating ultrasound is next week. We finally find out how far along she actually is (and if it really is new bfs like she has said it is/hopes beyond hope it is). Their "guess" puts new baby VERY close in due date with nephew's birthday (like 5 days or less). I still don't understand how that "guess" adds up *eye roll*
Then MIL'S surgery is 1 week after SIL'S ultrasound. Could be very interesting very quickly...
Random drama (that correlates with the above )
So 1-2 weeks of us getting married, Dh's job laid off over half the company. Most had been there just shy of the requirements for unemployment. We live in a rural area, not a lot of job opportunities. We were staying with my mom at the moment, and DH decided we should go stay with his mom to try to get jobs (WAY bigger city. Still a mistake.) We had out own room with the agreement that when we started work, we would help with bills. No biggie, we don't expect to live for free.
Well SIL has an emergency cerclage done before 20 weeks, and ends up on complete bedrest, living on the couch (we all worked different shifts, so someone was all ways there to help with her.) So that's 6 adults (2 couples, and 2 separate single people) in a very small 3 bedroom house. Things are as ok as can be expected.
MIL makes all kinds of promises to SIL (including switching shifts so SIL could do half days to finish her couple senior credits and finish her cna class so she could immediately have the job that was lined up for her after finishing). During this time, MIL also marries emigrant worker that is fixing the roof of the building at her work (who needs a green card to stay in country, that she has known maybe 2 months. I swear everything he said was a lie and he was creepy and constantly trying to find ways to be alone with me, or touch me. That was all kinds of crazy and marriage #...3-4 I believe).
We have been paying a large chunk of bills/rent every month at this point, both us working factory jobs(this is important). Nephew is born, things are strained but still work-able. We avoid being there as much as possible, (other than seeing/taking care of nephew, when she wasnt parading him around like a shiny new toy) while saving money to get out.
Things seem ok for about a month and a half after nephew is born, then suddenly MIL comes home saying everyone in the house (her included) are being evicted. And we have like 2 weeks to figure it out. To say we were pissed was an understatement. I wanted to know where all the money went since she obviously wasn't paying bills! (In the middle of all this, but a little before the "eviction" MIL'S new "husband" of like 2 months goes to a construction job states away and never returns...MIL acts like it's whatever, and goes back to ex she left before getting married (who she left for being an alcoholic and drug addict, that was violent when not sober. Great guy when he was sober though!)
So remember me saying all the crap she promised SIL she would do/help with so she could have a better life for them? Ya...that's where this comes in...
While in the middle of packing (DH was gone, taking/unloading a load to where we were staying, SIL was visiting friend so they could see baby, no one there but MIL and I) MIL basically corners me and confesses that after we move out, and SIL goes to visit family for a few days, that her and BF are moving to Texas! (He is mexican, here legally, with family in Texas right around the boarder and in Mexico. Just explaining why Texas). She then attempts to swear me to secrecy from telling any of her kids!!! Like WHY in the f*ck did you tell me?! I say whatever and keep packing. I wait until we finish getting our stuff out that night to tell my husband, as if I'm not going to tell him! I've explained his lack of care where she is concerned (for good reason) so he basically said whatever. (Obviously not realizing the other siblings didn't/wouldn't know).
She gets to Texas before calling SIL and letting her know where she is and that she isn't coming back. SIL is devestated and scared. Dh's dad helps her get into a income based apartment, only for them to find out MIL had used her name and SS# to open a utilities account in her name (as a minor). It was a LARGE bill. They told her for them to clear her name and let her have an account, she would have to go forward with fraud paperwork, including a police report. She was so brainwashed, that she didn't want to file because it was her mom! (Even though it would keep her from getting her apartment, if she didn't). Eventually Dh's dad convinced her to file and she got her place (with lots of help and money from him). She never did get to go back to school or finish her cna license. But she walks back to MIL with open arms, every time, with the same expectation that this time will be different... Moving into the apartment started the time of us raising nephew.
More later. Dinner time!
Ladies, I'm sure it will only get more entertaining from here! Lol (I totally get it, I love drama that doesn't directly involve me
So, the drama slowly begins... Wednesday was the ever enlightening ultrasound.
So she videos me. Says we'll, we found out news, not bad, but a little different than we expected. Then asks how far along I am (zero clue why that was relevant, other than making sure there was time between so I don't steal her spotlight I guess!).
So she then proceeds to say that her guess at when her period was, was obviously wrong (DUH!) because this baby is measuring 11 freakin weeks!!! 11 WEEKS!!! And I believe 5 days to be more exact! So much for their 4-5 week estimate right?
Well this shocks everyone, but then Dh's grandma and Uncle get excited because baby is due like 2 weeks before their birthday! Oh joy... Funny because this is the same Uncle that just showed major dismay and some jealousy at her "random, accidental pregnancy" as he and his new wife (Married last fall) have been seriously trying since getting married, and having issues. Funny how quick shit changes. (His wife is a whole other level of weirdness and only wanting to bond with/interact with/do things with bits and pieces of the family, despite how close he has been with all of us before.)
So I text her quickly (because 6 has a big mouth and repeats everything, because she's little and was in the room lol and also because I'm the only one that knows it may not be new bfs) and comment on the fact that, it puts her supposed conception date the same week that she left her ex and "started dating" new bf. (2 days from the day she moved out to the day she supposedly conceived. This is all based on baby's growth in one scan. No actual dates...color me skeptical) She argues with me that while it's the same week, the day that it supposedly puts conception at is in fact, the first night they done anything...
She's been using the same birth control for 9 years successfully...even "tried" (to get pregnant) with a few exes during this time. (As someone who battled IF, her version of "trying" is patronizing. Which basically usually included skipping some pills and hoping it was when she ovulated...), Was supposedly still on it (no antibiotics or anything that would make it not work, I asked when she was first freaking out). Has literally had the same alarm set, for the same time every day, for those 9 years. But wants me to believe some how he magically got her pregnant on the first time, in the same week she left her ex (who she was still randomly sleeping with) with all precautions, and there is no way it is ex's. And all this "dating"/conception etc is going by baby's size in the 1 and only scan she's had...
I'm not buying it lady!!!
She was pretty defensive that I even asked about the timing *shrug*. Then it seemed she was trying to wink wink nudge nudge guilt me towards being the one to throw her baby shower. By going on about how she has no idea who would possibly throw her a shower etc. Ya, because that's just what I want to do heavily pregnant or post partum. Our kids should be born like 10 weeks apart, no thanks. Plus, she has tons of "friends", I'm sure one of them would love to do it! *Note the sarcasm, please* Next month they are sending her 2.5 hours away to do a cervical cerclage... Which they did at the local hospital last time, so why TF send her away this time... That will of course be made a gigantic deal of.
She's also been plastering fb with kid/baby/parenting/attachment parenting and similar memes... Coming from the farthest thing from an attachment parent as I've seen. It's already starting to get obnoxious. One talked about how her addiction is taking care of her kids. Funny since my nephew has legit spent most his life with us or his great grandparents (including basically all school breaks and at least more than half her weekends (he has every other weekend with his dad, now
that he is out of jail.). Oh and she finds out the sex, right around our 10 year wedding anniversary. (They only do ultrasounds certain days. So it will be either 1-2 days before our anniversary or on our anniversary) I'm sure we will miss their reveal party to celebrate our anniversary. I'll hear about missing it, whatever.
It's only going to get more interesting from here/now!
Fun drama fact: we went through the paternity crap with nephew. Even though she at one point told me the dates didn't add up, she took supposed daddy of nephew back. Even gave nephew his middle name!!! Nephew had to stay in the hospital a little longer. DNA test came back before they were discharged. NOT the father! 2 other guys tested. Not the father. Her ex shows up with baby pictures (someone told him about nephew, and that he looked like him). She swears timing is off, but the pictures are convincing. Dude goes to jail. She files for state help so state makes her list possible fathers. Dude is tested in jail (nephew is 2-3 at this point), you ARE the father! His mother harasses her, basically staying that she has legal right to his visitation while he's in jail, and she will sue her in court blah blah (she was letting her see him, also this is not a grandparent's rights state. She would have got nothing.) The threats and harassing got crazy until we made her go talk to the people who had her do the paternity test. This crazy woman had her convinced because she "knew people" she could get full/sole physical custody of nephew! They told her his mother had no legal grounds. We had to push her to not give in, but she finally started standing up to her. Dad's been out of jail for awhile, so the grandma visits are severely limited to his discretion on his time.
MIL's surgery is next week, I'll keep you updated on that...
I have a semi-similar way less dramatic story to share. DH cousin who was 20 at the time, got his gf pregnant just a few weeks apart from when DH and I were due with DS. They kept the baby, had a beautiful little girl and her and my son are now 3 weeks apart in age and get along great. We don't see them a ton, but it's nice when we do. We all kindof questioned whether or not that pregnancy was actually an 'oops'. This cousins gf comes from a family of multiple teen moms (no judgement, just saying this is something she has been around her whole life), and had even mentioned before that she wanted to be a young mom. I really do believe the pregnancy was planned. These cousins are young, are not financially stable, and are currently living in government assisted living. They were so afraid to tell my husbands family about the pregnancy that they didn't announce until she was 7 MONTHS ALONG!! Must be nice to be 19 and still able to hide that sh*t LOL.
Fast forward 2 years and now DH and i are obviously expecting #2. We find out that they are ALSO expecting #2!! Big shocker there. Again, they are claiming this was an 'oops' and that they weren't sure what they were going to do. TW** I guess they had talked to their parents about the possibility of abortion/adoption' End TW** They are going to keep the baby, she is due in December. So now they will have 2 little ones, with very little income, living in government assisted living. I just couldn't imagine that situation at the age of 22.
We of course wish them the best, but know this is not going to be an easy road ahead for them.
That's a lot of stress for them @nasalot188. I hope they can handle it!
@mamabearcj I have no answer. Lol If I had to deal with it anyore, I'd probably not deal so well. Thank goodness for at least a little distance!
@nasalot188 I'm just glad it serves more good than making me ask WTF?! a whole lot. Lol
And definitely sounds like it was intentional. I too, hope they can handle everything that will be going on for them!
@chopchop25 Some days I definitely don't, and have to ignore her til I can deal with her level of crazy. And then I usually have like 37 texts and at least 3 phone calls, when I do that.
So this will be the last post on this thread (at least for me) Since tomorrow is the 1st of July! When something new happens (which I'm sure will be quickly because the 4th, since I have to spend the day with SIL and DS's birthday is that week as well.) I will start the new thread for July/August, unless someone has some crazy they need to share before then and starts it!
So MIL's surgery was Wednesday. GMIL drove down Tuesday morning (it's about 6-8 hours drive from what I'm told) and will be staying with her until sometime between Saturday and next Tuesday (she wants to be he for the 4th because that's where the remaining family celebrates the 4th). MIL told her husband not to waste his days off because her mom would be there to help. GMIL videoed the family group a few minutes after the Dr talked to them and told them everything went well, and she was just waking up in recovery before being moved to her room. Apparently that wasn't good enough, so MIL had to video us all herself, after getting in her room (still hazy) and talk to everyone. (About how sore she was, and how long she would be there, and how they had to pack her with a ton of packing etc). So in response SIL has to respond (remember, this a family group, so we all get these) and goes on dramatically about how she's glad her mom is ok, but she can't even bare to look at her without crying, because *sobs* she is supposed to be there. (No reason why she is supposed to, other than she's her daughter. Kicker is she didn't attempt to get it off and go there. She could have. Her son in with his dad right now. She's caring for bf's kids while he works (when she's home) but they could stay where ever they do when they both work. Or you know, where they went before her.) More dramatics, more tears. Then goes on about how sick she is, and just getting out of bed at 3:30pm *eye roll* because she just didn't feel good at all. (But her video before that, from last night was just talking about how great she was doing with the meds she was given, and being able to do stuff and have energy). Apparently not even surgery let's you keep some spotlight around here!
Oh and she's already started in on the dramatics that she has to have that stitch put in, and has to go to a big hospital, with a more specialized Dr. (Again, funny how they did the same thing in our small hospital here last time...)
Oh! So then, after I refuse to acknowledge her attempted guilting to agree I'll do the shower, she decides she needs to take matters into her own hands. Y'all, she posted on FB!!! At 11-12 weeks pregnant "So just going to throw this out there, cuz I guess I got no clue. Is anyone going to throw me a baby shower?!?!?!" Yup, she really just asked everyone she knew if one of them was going to throw her a shower, and in the first trimester at that! I was mortified!!! She doesn't even get how tacky and horrid that was! It literally took every inkling of my being and walking away from fb and my phone to not call her out on how damn ridiculous that shit was! Then someone she knows was all "Oh, I've never planned a shower, that sounds like fun! I'll do it!" I vaguely know her because of SIL, and she's kind of naive. I am willing to bet all the internet dollars she doesn't realize planning a shower means you are usually the one paying for it! Then she offered to do their "gender reveal party" *cringe* The crazy continues, friend asks when she is due, gets response and says "so we should do it in November or December then". The first thing that goes through my head is, there is ZERO chance I am taking my newborn to a baby shower in flu season!" (I already know she expects me to be there. She wants us to be like sister best friends and is upset when we aren't at every possible family type thing or don't want to/can't go do stuff together.) Then the super petty part of my brain (you know, the shady part that tells you to do mean shit lol) laughed and thought, can you imagine how crazy jealous she would go if baby and I DID show up, and suddenly the spotlight wasn't on her? Because, you know, newborn and people we/she knows are baby crazy! LMAO I don't think she has thought that through (not that I want to risk baby's health anyway). As if that's not enough, she then comments "we need to get lots and lots of people to come! *Smiley face*" My mouth hung open. I was like you did not just seriously say that...
She also said I should "keep everything for her" meaning anything I have from Ds and all things from October baby. I am all for passing stuff down, but that annoyed me. Especially with her "huge shower with lots and lots of people". And as far as I know, we aren't having any kind of shower/sprinkle etc because this is our second kid in 2 years. Around here/our back ground you don't do that having 2 close together (unless special circumstances like multiples). Although my cousins sent 2 boxes of clothes from their girls (which was so sweet, despite the fact that I'm still stain treating a bunch of them on the 3rd wash. I love them, and am thankful for them passing stuff on. Which has basically became tradition in our very large family, I sent lots to them as well. But guys, I would be mortified to send anything to someone in the conditions of some of those. Sorry if that seems petty/mean, just one thing my anxiety/OCD messes with me about. I'm a little crazy about mine, DH included, not wearing stained or misfitting/messed up clothes.) We will be re-buying all other necessities on our own. (We got rid of most everything. We were told DS was medically impossible (getting pregnant with/carrying), so despite trying (and having another loss) we figured it would be years again, if ever.) I think it just bothered me that she is already expecting everyone to provide everything, despite them both working full time (which is more than most those around us.)
On an unrelated note, I've been trying to weeks to set up stuff for DS's birthday party, so as much family could make it as possible, yet all the in laws basically refuse to even comment on if they are going to attempt to come (even when we do everything imaginable to accommodate them, including making sure the party is at a central easy to get to location that is a short drive for all)... you can be sure everyone has drove all over hell's half acre (including more than an hour away to damn Chuck e cheese) for every one of nephew's birthdays. I should be used to it, and maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, but this is pissing me off more than normal.