@chyvie first, I liked this because im so glad you're doing amazing and have a wonderful family now. Thank you for being comfortable with us enough to share that deeply personal information. You're an amazing example to others that just because you had it rough doesn't mean you have to grow up like that.
@chyvie I'm positive your grandparents would be proud of you! I mean, I'm proud of you! It's seriously impressive that even if you have bad experiences or environment, you can move past it and break the cycle. Hats off to you!
@chyvie your resilience and grit are a force to be reckoned with, lady! I feel so lucky to get to know you a bit better, thank you for sharing your journey.
@mamabearcj and @sliztee Thanks for the read and respect. I agree that you don't have to fall into the same cycle as your family but I think every kid needs a strong role model in their life to make it anywhere and I was fortunate to have that. I truly could not have done with without my grandparents. They were my saving grace.
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
@chyvie that's a crazy story, but it's so great to hear you were able to overcome so much. Grandparents like that are amazing. If it weren't for mine, my life would have been much different.
@chyvie Much respect to you for rising above circumstances you had no control over. Like @coffee-saur said, I know your grandparents would be so proud of you! I’m really happy for you that you found a good man who has an amazing mom too. Thanks for sharing such an inspiring story!
I am so sick of being told I can't put my son in anything pink! It's mainly MIL and it drives me nuts, if theirs pink on it he just can't be wearing it. I guarantee every time we go visit he will be in some kind of pink just to piss her off. DH told her, the babies will wear whatever we put them in whether that be pink, purple, green, blue or black it will not matter.
@chyvie you rock girl!! Way to rise above and yes your grandparents would be very proud of all you have done and overcome!! I wanna be like you when I grow up!
That kind of thinking drives me nuts @mamabearcj My DS1 has a bunch of shirts and shorts with pinks and salmons in them. Just bought a pair of salmon shorts with grey skull and crossbones on them. He loves them. And DS2 wears all 1’s hand me downs, so pinks for everybody!
@mamabearcj - My Mom can’t stand that I refuse to find out baby’s sex- because she can’t start buying baby clothes. (Although she has totally decided it’s a little stegosaurus, even though I’m convinced it is a triceratops - but T-rex is still certainly in the running.)
Even my Dad chided me this weekend for it (as much as he ever chides me).
I am so sick of being told I can't put my son in anything pink! It's mainly MIL and it drives me nuts, if theirs pink on it he just can't be wearing it. I guarantee every time we go visit he will be in some kind of pink just to piss her off. DH told her, the babies will wear whatever we put them in whether that be pink, purple, green, blue or black it will not matter.
I’m tempted to replace dd’s neon pink stroller for this boy but I’m also like, why waste it? Screw what people think or say.
@chyvie I’m so sorry you had such a rough childhood but I am so impressed by how you overcame it. I’m so glad you had your grandparents and you have a wonderful family now. Your little boy is lucky to have such a strong mama!!
TTC History
Me: 35 DH: 34 Married 07/2012 DD born 07/2014 DD2 born 10/2018 DS born 10/2022
IF history: TTC #2 since January 2016 June-Aug 2017: 3 IUIs w/Clomid = BFN Sept 2017: Dx w/Endometriosis Oct 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN Nov 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN Dec 2017: pre-IVF testing Jan-Feb 2018: IVF--17 eggs retrieved, 13 fertilized, 9 frozen and 1 transferred on 2/10 = BFP on 2/19!!! EDD 10/29/2018 FET Oct 2021: BFP on 10/31! MC at 5 weeks FET Feb 2022: BFP on 2/15! EDD 10/29/22
Shit is going to get real mamas! My SIL (the one that said she was jealous of my pregnancies, every time, even though she was actively preventing it) announced she got a positive pee test Friday. She hasn't even seen her Dr (here they do 6-8 weeks for dating u/s) and announced to everyone. Via fb live.Oh, and her an baby daddy have been together like a month now. I know this may sound petty (I'm promise it's not, she's part of the crazy in laws) but I really think it was on purpose. As I was explaining changes in our OB and hospital (same office, different dr) she kept making an at remarks about "I did have a baby before". Yes, 9 years ago, nothing is the same! Plus you were a teen and I had your kid 4+ days out of every week till he was 2! We basically raised him. She thinks I'm exaggerated how different it will be at close to 30 vs 17! Neptune help me, this is going to get weird...
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
Late to this thread but just chiming in to say wow @chyvie you are incredibly strong and resilient! Thank you for sharing! @mamabearcj next time you get a comment for pink on a boy or blue on a girl remind them that traditionally pink was considered the masculine color and blue was feminine. Lots of sources online if you google it!
Lol, oh I promise ALL the updates! It's going to be a shit show! (This is a small fraction of our life. I swear, it feels like a TV drama a lot lol!
Added crazy for everyone's amusement: I was the first person she told. We have a video walkie talkie app, and she videoed me, legit right after taking the test in a gas station bathroom. Why me first, I have no idea. Apparently she then took a picture of the pee stick and her face, sent it to MIL. (I've wrote a little about MIL, she's legit crazy. Fully diagnosed, supposed to be medicated. Thinks she knows better, chooses when/if she takes meds.DH tolerates her since we mostly don't have to deal with her now, since she remarried and is like 6-8ish hours away. But he basically hates her. She threw him out on the street at 15, for getting physical with her then boyfriend, because BF was physically abusing MIL. Again, only a touch of the crazy.) She got no response. After telling baby daddy, they decide to announce to their parents on the phone, then fb live every one else. Apparently MIL'S response was "That was your's?!" (Meaning her test). She said "I was like who the fuck else's would it be?!" and it was silence on the phone. Not how she thought that would go over!
Sunday was DH's Dad's (his would be step dad, but they never got married. But the man raised DH most his life, and took him in after MIL threw him out. He is an amazing person, dad and grandpa.) Family get together. SIL was there. Talking about how she was so bloated she didn't fit in any of her clothes so she had to buy a new outfit, and that her "stomach wasn't even hard yet!" Yes guys, she said that! She is like 4-6 weeks (and that's being generous with the guess since it's been just over a month I guess they have been together. It was a week or so longer than I thought. Though she did say only to me, there is like a 1% chance it is her ex's... She didn't tell baby daddy that. And I was sworn to secrecy. But you guys are exempt from that) I literally laughed in her face (she was next to me) and said "Well of course not! I'm 18 weeks and the only part of my stomach that is "hard" is directly where baby is laying." And rolled my eyes. This is going to be the LONGEST pregnancy in history!
Also she was annoying me because she kept going on and on about how she was SO sick (to everyone), but ate like 3-4 plates of food at that dinner and later admitted (to me) she hadn't even thrown up once. Most of you know I have HG, and have lost 25+lbs at this point. I'm still fighting dehydration and can't even eat a whole sandwich. I wanted to punch her!
Different but related family crazy. MIL literally hasn't acknowledge this pregnancy/child at all (but loves to play GMOTY). Today we get a frantic call on Dh's phone and the house phone, says she needs to talk to DH about urgent medical issues going on. Here I am worried about a heart attack or something. DH calls, gets no answer for hours. She finally calls back, and let's him know the er said she had pelvic congestion (basically vericose veins in the pelvic area/inside) and when she seen the gyno after, they were worried about possible uterine prolapse, so they were going to do answer out hysterectomy and fix it all at once. She doesn't even have surgery consult for another week. Not a "urgent" matter... After telling him all this, she decides she needs to tell ME! Head meet wall. Then says "DH said you find out this week if it's a boy or girl, don't forget to text and let us know when you find out". No congratulations, no excited for a new grand kid. Not a damn thing y'all... It was like some part of her brain was like, "now that i can put the attention on me, I will demand baby info, like an after thought." Crazy lady... There is so much more, but I'll leave you with that for now! Lol
I grew up with cats and my parents got a terrier when I went off to college. My mom won't come to my house because she is allergic to cats and dogs; apparently. Really mom? I have a golden retriever, terrier mix and a cat. I think she is embarrassed of our small home. May be a small home but it is a 3 bedroom, 2 bath, with 4 car garage. I hate how she makes me feel ashamed of my own house. When I deliver the baby I'm thinking of telling her don't even bother driving to visit from NC. It isn't like she can help me at home with the baby or kids; right? What do you think?
This is a really petty complaint and I know it - I'm sure things will settle down but right now I am having trouble dealing.
My boyfriend's mom moved in with us last month - we bought a house that had a separate apartment downstairs with the idea that she would move in there and we could check in on her (she's been hospitalized afew times in the past year for basically not taking care of herself).
She won't stay downstairs. She's been up with us every night! We hint that we want alone time, we tell her flat out we need alone time, nothing helps. I told bf yesterday that he needs to tell her that if she doesn't give us back our space she's never going to get any more grandchildren after this one!
I think she's great, and we have invited her up to dinner and out with us repeatedly, but I haven't gotten to watch my shows in three weeks because she doesn't like them. I just need to be able to relax! Maybe I should go downstairs and watch her TV next time...
@drurose - That is not a petty complaint. This is a serious issue that is developing. You amd your bf need to figure out a way to enforce your personal space and your boundaries.
I don’t think that watching your tv shows in her apartment is the right way to do that. (Neither is threats about future grandkids going to be effective.)
(I’m totally not the right person to give advice on how to enforce these boundaries, when I found out my MIL was moving in around the corner, I left my marriage. Literally. Obviously, there is a lot more to the story than that, but a small part of it was that I didn’t believe she would respect my boundaries, or that my ex would assist me in enforcing them.)
@drurose She’s probably lonely and enjoys the company but that doesn’t make it easier I’m sure. I’d be super annoyed that I can’t do what I want in my own house!! I’d say a serious talk with the bf is in order because that needs to be nipped in the bud. She may not realize how you feel. Be open and honest!! You may not hate her yet but if this continues you will and I doubt that’s at all what she wants.
Yeah, those two comments are just exasperation talking... we're going to have to sit her down and have a talk.
Also about how I'd rather she not do my laundry and fold my underwear. I'd rather handle that myself
But it is good to know I'm not just overreacting. Thank goodness my BF is on the same page with me on this, we're just trying to figure out the best way to talk to her.
Re: Official Crazy Family Thread (May/June)
DD 3/15/12
DD 6/3/14
#4 Due 10/26/18!
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
@mamabearcj the whole boys don’t wear pink thing is bs.
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
Even my Dad chided me this weekend for it (as much as he ever chides me).
Married 07/2012
DD born 07/2014
DD2 born 10/2018
DS born 10/2022
IF history:
TTC #2 since January 2016
June-Aug 2017: 3 IUIs w/Clomid = BFN
Sept 2017: Dx w/Endometriosis
Oct 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN
Nov 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN
Dec 2017: pre-IVF testing
Jan-Feb 2018: IVF--17 eggs retrieved, 13 fertilized, 9 frozen and 1 transferred on 2/10 = BFP on 2/19!!! EDD 10/29/2018
FET Oct 2021: BFP on 10/31! MC at 5 weeks
FET Feb 2022: BFP on 2/15! EDD 10/29/22
Neptune help me, this is going to get weird...
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
@mamabearcj next time you get a comment for pink on a boy or blue on a girl remind them that traditionally pink was considered the masculine color and blue was feminine. Lots of sources online if you google it!
Added crazy for everyone's amusement:
I was the first person she told. We have a video walkie talkie app, and she videoed me, legit right after taking the test in a gas station bathroom. Why me first, I have no idea. Apparently she then took a picture of the pee stick and her face, sent it to MIL. (I've wrote a little about MIL, she's legit crazy. Fully diagnosed, supposed to be medicated. Thinks she knows better, chooses when/if she takes meds.DH tolerates her since we mostly don't have to deal with her now, since she remarried and is like 6-8ish hours away. But he basically hates her. She threw him out on the street at 15, for getting physical with her then boyfriend, because BF was physically abusing MIL. Again, only a touch of the crazy.) She got no response. After telling baby daddy, they decide to announce to their parents on the phone, then fb live every one else. Apparently MIL'S response was "That was your's?!" (Meaning her test). She said "I was like who the fuck else's would it be?!" and it was silence on the phone. Not how she thought that would go over!
Sunday was DH's Dad's (his would be step dad, but they never got married. But the man raised DH most his life, and took him in after MIL threw him out. He is an amazing person, dad and grandpa.) Family get together. SIL was there. Talking about how she was so bloated she didn't fit in any of her clothes so she had to buy a new outfit, and that her "stomach wasn't even hard yet!" Yes guys, she said that! She is like 4-6 weeks (and that's being generous with the guess since it's been just over a month I guess they have been together. It was a week or so longer than I thought. Though she did say only to me, there is like a 1% chance it is her ex's... She didn't tell baby daddy that. And I was sworn to secrecy. But you guys are exempt from that) I literally laughed in her face (she was next to me) and said "Well of course not! I'm 18 weeks and the only part of my stomach that is "hard" is directly where baby is laying." And rolled my eyes. This is going to be the LONGEST pregnancy in history!
Also she was annoying me because she kept going on and on about how she was SO sick (to everyone), but ate like 3-4 plates of food at that dinner and later admitted (to me) she hadn't even thrown up once.
Most of you know I have HG, and have lost 25+lbs at this point. I'm still fighting dehydration and can't even eat a whole sandwich. I wanted to punch her!
Different but related family crazy.
MIL literally hasn't acknowledge this pregnancy/child at all (but loves to play GMOTY). Today we get a frantic call on Dh's phone and the house phone, says she needs to talk to DH about urgent medical issues going on. Here I am worried about a heart attack or something. DH calls, gets no answer for hours. She finally calls back, and let's him know the er said she had pelvic congestion (basically vericose veins in the pelvic area/inside) and when she seen the gyno after, they were worried about possible uterine prolapse, so they were going to do answer out hysterectomy and fix it all at once. She doesn't even have surgery consult for another week. Not a "urgent" matter... After telling him all this, she decides she needs to tell ME! Head meet wall. Then says "DH said you find out this week if it's a boy or girl, don't forget to text and let us know when you find out". No congratulations, no excited for a new grand kid. Not a damn thing y'all... It was like some part of her brain was like, "now that i can put the attention on me, I will demand baby info, like an after thought." Crazy lady...
There is so much more, but I'll leave you with that for now! Lol
When I deliver the baby I'm thinking of telling her don't even bother driving to visit from NC. It isn't like she can help me at home with the baby or kids; right? What do you think?
My boyfriend's mom moved in with us last month - we bought a house that had a separate apartment downstairs with the idea that she would move in there and we could check in on her (she's been hospitalized afew times in the past year for basically not taking care of herself).
She won't stay downstairs. She's been up with us every night! We hint that we want alone time, we tell her flat out we need alone time, nothing helps. I told bf yesterday that he needs to tell her that if she doesn't give us back our space she's never going to get any more grandchildren after this one!
I think she's great, and we have invited her up to dinner and out with us repeatedly, but I haven't gotten to watch my shows in three weeks because she doesn't like them. I just need to be able to relax! Maybe I should go downstairs and watch her TV next time...
I don’t think that watching your tv shows in her apartment is the right way to do that. (Neither is threats about future grandkids going to be effective.)
(I’m totally not the right person to give advice on how to enforce these boundaries, when I found out my MIL was moving in around the corner, I left my marriage. Literally. Obviously, there is a lot more to the story than that, but a small part of it was that I didn’t believe she would respect my boundaries, or that my ex would assist me in enforcing them.)
Also about how I'd rather she not do my laundry and fold my underwear. I'd rather handle that myself
But it is good to know I'm not just overreacting. Thank goodness my BF is on the same page with me on this, we're just trying to figure out the best way to talk to her.