Dear DH: I'm really happy that you're so excited about home improvement projects, but please finish one thing before moving onto another. There is no reason why halfway digging up some clothesline poles in the backyard needs to take priority over finishing (literally the half foot left of) sheet rocking DD's bedroom and this definitely doesn't mean that you need to leave the giant craters in our lawn for another 2 weeks so that you can start replacing one of our ancient windows with one that you found that "won't quite fit, but looks really cool."
BFP #1: due 6/17/2013, DD born 6/25/13 BFP #2: due 6/30/2017, MMC found 12/7/2016 BFP #3: due 10/21/2018
Happy birthday @chopchop25 I agree if you are enthusiastic about celebrating others birthdays, people should take notice and celebrate yours! Hopefully they still have something planned but near the end of the day?
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
No way @mamabearcj - you could consider it more selfish because I'm just doing it for my own comfort It always boggled my mind that when there are those people who go out of their way for you (not you, personally, just for the sake of this statement) that you don't return the favor, because IMO people usually emulate the behavior or actions they'd like to see returned.
@chyvie one would think! And thank you! I do think they forgot, but this afternoon would be bad bc I've got meetings on the other side of campus (which is also closer to home so no way I'm heading back this way)
@kfrob I feel ya, there aren’t good stores for maternity clothes around here. I saw some shorts and basic t shirts at Kohl’s. Kohl’s and Old Navy had some things that weren’t maternity specifically but had a straight waist or a swing dress kind of shape that works too. I’ve ordered some dresses from Old Navy, Pink Blush, and Zulily on-line because I have to dress up for work. And one or two things on Amazon with prime shipping and free returns. It’s hard!!!
@quiltandknit I think we're going to hit up Target and the Motherhood store at the mall tonight and hope for the best. But I have a bunch of stuff in my online cart for H&M and Old Navy just in case I'm hoping the Target maternity section isn't a disaster with the store being renovated....
My Target sucked too. They barely had anything. But I did order a bunch of stuff from them online with the notion that I could easily return in-store if it didn't work.
@krzyriver thanks! I know they have to let the parents know, but the way she said it came across pretty poorly. I mean he’s not even 2.5 yet, we don’t need to talk about interventions yet!
@chopchop25 I’d be annoyed if they forgot my birthday too!! Happy birthday!!
@KFrob ugh I feel you on the maternity clothes struggle. I hate that all the stores pretty much have stopped selling them in store, so you’re stuck ordering online. So far, I’ve had the best luck with old navy and pink blush, even though it’s a hassle to have to wait for shipping and then return things when they inevitably don’t work. I’ve also mentally accepted the fact that I’m probably going to spend most of the summer in dresses, despite how much I hate shaving my legs. Wearing pants, especially full panel, that are work appropriate is just too damn hot. I was also pregnant last time in winter, so I’m annoyed that like half of the stuff I had bought and liked last time won’t work again this time, since it’s like sweaters and heavier clothes. Now I’m stuck buying a whole bunch of summer stuff on top of what I had, so annoying!!
Thanks for the birthday wishes everybody! Just had a nice lunch with a friend where I ordered way too much food and now going to treat myself to a walk on the trail before my next meeting.
@chopchop25 That article is great and pretty eye opening, especially as someone who does this at work but also just in my personal life all. the. time.
I love the term "emotional labour" because it's soo spot on. I often think of burnout as just working myself too hard, but after reading this I'm realizing that the emotional exhaustion I feel (usually in the form of cynicism, disappointment, lack of empathy, anger) can probably be attributed to just pushing stuff down to save face, be "polite", or avoid conflict.
Unfortunately, my emotional labor is caused entirely by my boss; what she says and does, on a daily basis. Try to address your quandary? Then you should be ready to be met with defensiveness, resentment, and blame. Super not worth it.
I walked by the kids’ room and realized that DS must have pooped right after I put him down for a nap, and didn’t let me know so I could change his diaper. I refuse to wake him up because if he doesn’t get his full nap he’s a horrible monster so I’ll get to deal with a bad diaper rash when he wakes up.
I wish he would just fucking get the hang of potty training. I was spoiled with DD because it literally took her like 2 days and she was good to go. I’m so tired of changing his gross 2 year old poops, especially because he goes like 6 times a day.
I've been at my job 5 years and it's always just been me and one other guy. Then last year my boss finally hired another engineer and it's substantially helped, but we've been a little slower this year. Just found out that they're sending the new guy to work in our Portland office because our growth in our office doesn't support a third engineer. Which I totally understand, we've been slow (and a little bored). BUT WHAT ABOUT ME GOING ON MATERNITY LEAVE?? I'm just so confused by the timing of it all. My original coworker cannot do everything by himself. It just seems so dumb, I don't know what my boss is thinking. It'd be dumb to hire someone else before then. Wondering if they'd send someone from another office to cover? But if that's the case, just keep this kid on until the end of the year when I come back then move him.
And my boss hasn't even talked to us yet, so of course my mind is racing to all worst case scenarios. He better talk to us soon and tell us what's going on. My head is going to explode.
Not that I would put off having kids because of this, but I thought it was a good time because we were finally well covered and it wouldn't be so stressful and I could take off more time/potentially try to be part time for a while. Ugh, wtf. I hate change and unknowns. (All of this is probably nothing and I'm sure it's fine, but still wtf.)
@hannaht8516 - That sucks. Have they announced the timing for the move? My company moves at a snail’s pace for personnel changes, so what gets announced one day may actually happen a year later.
So new BF!! The younger dog DH and I are watching had what felt like a large scab/matting when we got here Friday. She was Skiddish when I got here so I couldn't look at it but today I noticed some blood close to the area and with her getting comfortable with me I was able to look closer. Looks like she had an open would or something but it was well before I got here and had scabbed. Well it reopened and i got close enough to get a quick look, it almost looks puss-yes but I just cant tell because she won't come close again. The area around it looks shaved too. What pisses me off is that if they did know something happened previously there was no mention to watch for it. If I have to take her to the vet I'm going to be so upset. She's so scared already and the vet would be the worst with a dog whose already uncomfortable with me...
ETA if they didnt know something happened then it could look like it happened in my watch and I'm not impressed with that at all.
@knottieamusements it’s usually pretty quick. Within a couple weeks I would think. Like I said, no idea if they have a plan already. But they all freaking knew I’m going on maternity leave. Just hope they talk to us about it soon. Giving me heartburn. I hate to leave my coworker in a crappy situation. And I wanted to take the full 12 weeks (they haven’t asked me about any plans), but I don’t want to feel guilty if I do.
My BF is super mild but what the hell is it with sandal clasps being on the outside of the ankle?! It’s so unnatural normally and now that I’m heavier and the acid reflux rises into my throat every time I bend over, they are extra stupid lol. I’ve learned how to cross one ankle over my knee and reach under my ankle to clasp it upside down. So. Dumb.
Me: 33 DH: 31 Location: Castle Rock, CO DD: 10.13.18 baby #2 due: 7.14.20
@hannaht8516 - Whatever happens, take your 12 weeks and don’t feel guilty about it. They are responsible for coverage, not you.
@sarahzett - You don’t want the buckles on the inside- you’d find out really quickly how often you rub your ankles together. That said- I feel your pain.
AFM, I called the dr last week to change my appointment next week to be with a doctor instead of a nurse. Every time I called the office was closed - too late in the day or closed for lunch. I was annoyed but whatever. I finally called today and the receptionist practically yelled at me that she has no availability that week except an hour after my original appointment... and it’s with the same nurse. The whole reason I’m trying to switch is to avoid that nurse and get an appointment with a doctor. They have 2 doctors (out of 4) that decided to take vacation that week so they are short staffed. Of course the one I was supposed to see was one of those drs. Ugh!
My BF is just that I took the red eye yesterday, got in a 5am and then had to go back to work all day. Apartment was a mess when I got home and it goes without saying of course that shit just continues to hit the fan at work.
Baically vacation is over with a vengeance.
ETA: baby brain and jet lag really don’t mix. Accidentally took H’s phone with me to work yesterday in addition to my phone. It’s not even the same brand.
I'm kinda pissed right now. My dog has really bad allergies that currently are diagnosed as being food related. Hes on a 100% prescription only diet. He has a dermatologist appointment on Thursday because he keeps breaking out and currently has a bad ear infection.
I called him inside and he had a treat in his mouth. I texted my neighbor to see if it was them because I know we had okayed it previously, but I thought they knew about his allergies. They aren't home. But they do have painters working on their outside. I think it might have been them who gave it to him. Which pisses me off because you shouldn't give anything to a pet you don't know.
I took it away and gave him one of his allowed treats. Now he's pacing around the house looking for the treat I took away and wanting back out.
@sammierose464 Oh yeah I'd be pissed. One of mine has a very sensitive stomach and if she gets anything out of the ordinary she gets explosive diarrhea. So I feel for you!
I texted my neighbor to ask if they had done it. If it was them I wouldn't be as upset. She said she's going to have her husband ask them about it and ask them not to do it again if it was them.
Re: Monday BF 6/25/2018
BFP #2: due 6/30/2017, MMC found 12/7/2016
BFP #3: due 10/21/2018
I agree if you are enthusiastic about celebrating others birthdays, people should take notice and celebrate yours! Hopefully they still have something planned but near the end of the day?
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
@chyvie one would think! And thank you!
I do think they forgot, but this afternoon would be bad bc I've got meetings on the other side of campus (which is also closer to home so no way I'm heading back this way)
Also- I would love a link to the emotional suppression article if you can share!
@chopchop25 I’d be annoyed if they forgot my birthday too!! Happy birthday!!
@KFrob ugh I feel you on the maternity clothes struggle. I hate that all the stores pretty much have stopped selling them in store, so you’re stuck ordering online. So far, I’ve had the best luck with old navy and pink blush, even though it’s a hassle to have to wait for shipping and then return things when they inevitably don’t work. I’ve also mentally accepted the fact that I’m probably going to spend most of the summer in dresses, despite how much I hate shaving my legs. Wearing pants, especially full panel, that are work appropriate is just too damn hot. I was also pregnant last time in winter, so I’m annoyed that like half of the stuff I had bought and liked last time won’t work again this time, since it’s like sweaters and heavier clothes. Now I’m stuck buying a whole bunch of summer stuff on top of what I had, so annoying!!
Here's the article I stumbled upon:
https://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20180619-why-suppressing-anger-at-work-is-bad
It makes me want to learn a little bit more.
I love the term "emotional labour" because it's soo spot on. I often think of burnout as just working myself too hard, but after reading this I'm realizing that the emotional exhaustion I feel (usually in the form of cynicism, disappointment, lack of empathy, anger) can probably be attributed to just pushing stuff down to save face, be "polite", or avoid conflict.
Thanks for sharing!
I wish he would just fucking get the hang of potty training. I was spoiled with DD because it literally took her like 2 days and she was good to go. I’m so tired of changing his gross 2 year old poops, especially because he goes like 6 times a day.
I've been at my job 5 years and it's always just been me and one other guy. Then last year my boss finally hired another engineer and it's substantially helped, but we've been a little slower this year. Just found out that they're sending the new guy to work in our Portland office because our growth in our office doesn't support a third engineer. Which I totally understand, we've been slow (and a little bored). BUT WHAT ABOUT ME GOING ON MATERNITY LEAVE?? I'm just so confused by the timing of it all. My original coworker cannot do everything by himself. It just seems so dumb, I don't know what my boss is thinking. It'd be dumb to hire someone else before then. Wondering if they'd send someone from another office to cover? But if that's the case, just keep this kid on until the end of the year when I come back then move him.
And my boss hasn't even talked to us yet, so of course my mind is racing to all worst case scenarios. He better talk to us soon and tell us what's going on. My head is going to explode.
Not that I would put off having kids because of this, but I thought it was a good time because we were finally well covered and it wouldn't be so stressful and I could take off more time/potentially try to be part time for a while. Ugh, wtf. I hate change and unknowns. (All of this is probably nothing and I'm sure it's fine, but still wtf.)
ETA if they didnt know something happened then it could look like it happened in my watch and I'm not impressed with that at all.
Me: 33 DH: 31
Location: Castle Rock, CO
DD: 10.13.18
baby #2 due: 7.14.20
@hannaht8516 - Whatever happens, take your 12 weeks and don’t feel guilty about it. They are responsible for coverage, not you.
@sarahzett - You don’t want the buckles on the inside- you’d find out really quickly how often you rub your ankles together. That said- I feel your pain.
AFM, I called the dr last week to change my appointment next week to be with a doctor instead of a nurse. Every time I called the office was closed - too late in the day or closed for lunch. I was annoyed but whatever. I finally called today and the receptionist practically yelled at me that she has no availability that week except an hour after my original appointment... and it’s with the same nurse. The whole reason I’m trying to switch is to avoid that nurse and get an appointment with a doctor. They have 2 doctors (out of 4) that decided to take vacation that week so they are short staffed. Of course the one I was supposed to see was one of those drs. Ugh!
Baically vacation is over with a vengeance.
ETA: baby brain and jet lag really don’t mix. Accidentally took H’s phone with me to work yesterday in addition to my phone. It’s not even the same brand.
I called him inside and he had a treat in his mouth. I texted my neighbor to see if it was them because I know we had okayed it previously, but I thought they knew about his allergies. They aren't home. But they do have painters working on their outside. I think it might have been them who gave it to him. Which pisses me off because you shouldn't give anything to a pet you don't know.
I took it away and gave him one of his allowed treats. Now he's pacing around the house looking for the treat I took away and wanting back out.