IVF with donor eggs

laurad75 · June 2018

The pre appointment anxiety doesn’t go away but definitely gets more manageable the further along you are. IF PTSD is a real thing and that’s why the support we give each other is so important. Those who haven’t experienced it will say ‘don’t worry, everything will be fine’ but we have just seen too much.

JamieH2000 · June 2018

@adc0417- omg your eggs are at your clinic?! That is a huge step!!! When do you get a calendar/transfer date? SO excited for you!!

@c-town18- thank you! My DH is holding up fine and thinks I am a little ridic for being so anxious... but he isn't the one spotting you know? He did say.."you can't be like this the WHOLE nine months" hahaha. I think it will get a little easier once we see the heartbeats. THat is such a big milestone. We aren't really excited/nervous about twins yet... it won't seem real until we actually have two heartbeats. Vanishing twin is so common in the first tri, so just taking it one week at a time.

@prudence9-2 Thanks lady!! I def don't think the anxiety will ever leave, I just hope it gets more manageable. I was legit almost fainting in the waiting room. I tried so hard to just breathe and calm down, but it was almost out of my control.

@knottie7777- Thanks!! how is your process going?

@laurad75- Yes IF PTSD is DEF real. Its like a pysiological repsonse for me at this point- my body was literally shaking and no logical thinking could help me. I really hope once I *hopefully* get thru this with a THB, i will recover somewhat from all the nerves/anxiety.

prudence9-2 · June 2018

@JamieH2000 I thought it was getting better for me. But before my last Doppler appt I woke up in the morning after dreaming that the baby had no HB.

PTSD ***is*** a real thing. And I def suffer from it. I do hope it will get better later in pregnancy.

I hope you get to hear two strong HB next Tues!!!

madscientist22 · June 2018

*New lurker*

Hi everyone, I'm new to the community but not really new in the infertility game (TTC since16!) DH and I recently were told that DE were our best shot and then the friend of a friend approached us about being our ED! We are ecstatic that someone was generous enough to offer but also just nervous and anxious about the process. Our donor is a bit older than the recommended age (33) for our clinic. Her AMH is normal (2.7). And we are all going in for genetic testing in the next few weeks before she starts stims. I'm hopeful but nervous about how many eggs we might retrieve.

tinjp78 · June 2018

*lurking*

@JamieH2000 I also hope and pray that your worries and anxieties would all leave you so you'd be able to enjoy this precious time

@prudence9-2 hang in there friend. I'm wishing you happiness and peace during this pregnancy.

JamieH2000 · June 2018

@prudence9-2- I really hope each week gets better for you! You are in the second tri right? Not sure we will ever really breath easily after what it took to get there, but I'm really hoping it does get better!

@madscientist22- welcome! I am sorry you find yourself in this spot, but glad you found us! Your friend sounds like a great person! I think 33 can be fine- my donor was 29 or 30 and she had a ton of good eggs. Besides AMH, I would def be interested in what her AFC is. I think you would want at least 20 to start with since you are usually lucky to get 75% of that as retrieved, and then they need to be mature, fertilize, etc. Keep us posted on your progress

fivetimesnoluck · June 2018

@JamieH2000 The lingering effects of IF and/or loss definitely impact women who go on to have successful pregnancies. It affects everyone differently and it does get better, but you may end up feeling differently than how you expected, at least initially - and that's totally normal! I had a hard time embracing my pregnancy and getting excited. My anxiety was exhausting and led me to be a little more reserved/withdrawn and frankly, it surprised me. But, duh.... trauma doesn't disappear just cause something good finally happened. I saw a therapist for the second half of my pregnancy and that helped me a lot..... Just stay aware and do what you need to help manage it. And know you're not alone - like @laurad75 said - that's why these forums are so important!

@adc0417 Very excited for you to be making next steps! Keep us posted on your progress!

@prudence9-2 What an awful dream. I am sorry that happened! Sending you big hugs as you continue on. You are on your way to the "other side" and I am definitely still keeping you in my thoughts!

@knottie7777 let us know how you're doing when you get the chance! I am so sorry that the bank messed up your first donor request. I can only imagine the frustration and anger. Did you decide to stay with them or move elsewhere?

@madscientist22 Welcome! DE IVF is a different process than most of us ever imagined using to bring home a baby, but it gets the job done and I believe the end result is worth every ounce of frustration and sadness it took me to get here. Your friend is kind and generous. I am hopeful that you all will have a smooth experience. 33 may be older than most typical donors, but it's definitely not too old to produce a good number of high quality eggs!

@laurad75 How are you feeling? I don't recall if you've mentioned where you live, but I hope the summer is not too hot for you and your last trimester! I live in the very hot and humid southeast and was so grateful I wasn't full term in August.

prudence9-2 · June 2018

Thanks @tinjp78 @JamieH2000 @fivetimesnoluck most days are good. But once a bad thought creeps in, it’s tough. I do think it’s easier now than few weeks ago. So I hope those thoughts will be less and less frequent

and yes, @JamieH2000 I’m in the 2nd trimester. 17w tomorrow!!!

laurad75 · June 2018

@fivetimesnoluck Thanks! I'm feeling pretty good but its definitely getting harder. I'm in Boston and the weather has been fine so far. The heat hasn't bothered me. I'm just really tired and my back hurts...and my ankles are gone. Pretty typical stuff.

madscientist22 · June 2018

@JamieH2000 Thank you! I am realistically optimistic about it all. I have more hope by seeing success stories like yours. Congrats btw!! And my RE doesn't perform AFCs prior to cycles for some reason.

@fivetimesnoluck Thanks! And I know how fortunate I am to have someone in my life willing to donate and I feel so silly even thinking that 33 is old lol. I feel like you just get lost in numbers after too long trying. Glad I found this space though!

knottie7777 · June 2018

@JamieH2000 and @fivetimesnoluck we decided to stick with the agency since they were really apologetic. I think we may have found another potential donor ! We are still assessing profile but it seems really promising ! I’m getting my doctors opinion before we decide . I did have another curveball thrown at me . I had my surgery to remove fibroid and they were able to get most but maybe not all since it was a hysteroscopy and not laparoscopic . So I have to go back in 2 weeks and if it’s not totally gone then I need to go for laparoscopic surgery that would be a 3 month recovery time . So best case if we go with this donor and fibroid is gone then we can do transfer in August , worst case I have the surgery and then can’t do transfer until November. One step at a time but after 2 years of IVF and surgeries I’m so ready for next step

JamieH2000 · June 2018

@fivetimesnoluck- thanks for sharing your story, it really did resonate with me. Not that I am not happy to be where I am at now, but I am def not as happy as I expected I think likely because of all the spotting and SCH. Everytime I start to get more optimistic, i start spotting again. It really does mess with my mind. I tried seeing someone last fall, but we didn't click. I may have to try to find someone if my anxiety keeps up at the current level. FOr now, I am just trying to tell myself that this spotting is "normal" with an SCH and just focus on hopefully seeing some heartbeats on Tuesday.

@madscientist22- thank you! DE is a hard road, but the good part of it is that there is really high odds and lots of hope for the first time for some! do you have a timeline at all yet?

@knottie7777- aww delays are the worst!! That is so frustrating they may not have gotten it all. I really hope they did!! Gonna be sending lots of prayers your way these next two weeks!

adc0417 · June 2018

@madscientist22 aww that’s really generous of your friend to do this for you. 33 is really not that old and I’ve heard great success stories with women older than that.

@JamieH2000 I think you’ll be less nervous as you hear the heartbeat and more time passes by.

So, I have my transfer date 7/18. Nervous and hoping everything goes smooth from here on. They are expecting me to bleed now since I came off bcp 2 days ago, but I just have some spotting here and there.

laurad75 · June 2018

@JamieH2000 Is the spotting just brown? I had brown spotting for probably 6 weeks or so and it made me crazy and when the nurses assured me it wasn't a problem. They were right and it went away but I hated it and I still check for spotting just about every time I go to the bathroom.

knottie7777 · June 2018

We decided to go with the donor we like ! So since it’s frozen we will be getting 12 and they will ship in the next couple weeks . So once I go for my hysteroscopy I’ll know if we can do a transfer ASAP or if I need to have another surgery and wait months for transfer , ugh could go either way , please send positive vibes my way . The donor is a proven donor so I’m hoping with 12 eggs it will enough for multiple kids ! But I suppose I should focus on one first haha .

JamieH2000 · July 2018

@adc0417- omg so exciting that transfer is only 2.5 weeks away!! When is your first lining check?!

@laurad75- unfortunately my spotting starts red and then turns brown. I know that red spotting can be normal with an SCH too, but it just terrifies me everytime I see it since I don't know if its gonna stop or get heavier and thats the beginning of the end.

@knottie7777- 12 eggs is alot! Hopefully lots of blasts and enough for 2 kids

I really hope your hysterscopy shows you are good to go so you don't have to wait any longer!!

AFM- next scan is tomorrow and we really need to see heartbeats since I will be 6+6. I had some scary spotting friday night, but its been gone since. Just praying for good news.

adc0417 · July 2018

@JamieH2000 I’m so excited for you to have your scan tmrw and hear the heartbeats. I have my first lining check on 7/11 and then if all is well I’ll start the scary PIO shots. Nervous.

@knottie7777 12 is such a good number. Did you get them from the frozen egg bank? Our lot has only 7 eggs, but she has other lots as well. Anyways, hope all goes well and you can transfer soon.

adc0417 · July 2018

@emmasemm seems like you are on a good path lady!! These follies need to continue growing. I’m excited to see what happens tmrw.

@JamieH2000 @hopefuljj good luck tmrw! Can’t wait to see both of your positive updates tmrw.

c-town18 · July 2018

JamieH2000 - We both have U/S today. Sending positive vibes for both of us!

laurad75 · July 2018

GL today @JamieH2000 and @c-town18. Hoping to hear good news from you both.

JamieH2000 · July 2018

Thanks for all the thoughts ladies!!

AFM- well good news and not great news. One baby is right on track with a HB of 115! The other babies heartbeat is irregular and only 82, which is pretty low at this point. THrere is a chance it could pull thru but the odds aren’t good. My SCH is also still very large. So another week of spotting and anxiety probably, but trying to feel good about the one baby being where it should! Definitely mixed emotions right now!

c-town18 · July 2018

JamieH2000 - Glad to hear one baby is on track with a strong HB! Who knows, maybe the other one will still surprise everyone (?) How are they each looking measurement-wise? Ugh, sorry, I know this stage is so stressful, but still you have one great heartbeat and that is good news for today.

AFM, they just checked the HB today with doppler, no ultrasound was done but the HB sounded strong so that's a relief.

laurad75 · July 2018

Oh @JamieH2000. It’s always a mixed bag with you. I just wish you could have a nice boring all good news appt. hoping that happens for you soon. xo

prudence9-2 · July 2018

@JamieH2000 so glad to hear one baby is right on track!!! And hoping baby will stay on track for the next appt! Is it next week?

I do hope the second one will make it. But know that 82 is very weak.

knottie7777 · July 2018

@adc0417 yes we did a frozen egg bank . The lots are 6 eggs so we did 2 lots .

@JamieH2000 glad one baby is on track and I’m saying lots of prayers the second one pulls through.

fivetimesnoluck · July 2018

@jamieh2000 Excited to hear Baby #1 is on track and I am hopeful for Baby #2! I’m sure it’s difficult to have mixed results like this, but we are all praying/cheering/hoping for you. There’s so much about this process that is different for us, but the end result is what matters. Sending you big hugs.

JamieH2000 · July 2018

@c-town18- yay for a strong heartbeat! I am already worried about how its gonna be when i don't get weekly ultrasounds! I tried to pick an OB that my friend who did alot of IVF went to that is supposedly pretty accommodating with extra U/S's so we will see.

@laurad75- right, its always a mixed bag! Its hard to feel excited when its so much up and down. Hopefully next week will be definitive. Obviously I want both to pull through, but if the second one isn't going to, i would like that to happen sooner than later and not mess up anything with the other one.

@prudence9-2- thanks girl, it is def bittersweet. We did put in two in hopes of getting at least 1 healthy baby, so hoping we can at least get the one through.

@knottie7777- thanks! Do you have a date for your hysterscopy?!

@fivetimesnoluck- thanks for the prayers! This is not easy for sure- but why would I expect the pregnancy part to go easy after everything else right?! Silly me!!

knottie7777 · July 2018

@JamieH2000 my hysteroscopy is July 10th , very soon . Crazy to think I could be transferring so soon if everything looks good but if not 3 months seems so far away . But I guess in reality it’s already been 4 years of trying , what’s another 3 months.

radmom27 · July 2018

I've been so bad about keeping up with any of the boards...I just started a new job and I'm still managing all day nausea (wasn't this supposed to end by now????).
@JamieH2000 I am so so happy to hear about your ultrasound. I'm hoping that the second little embie pulls through for you. It would be nice if you could just have an appt go 100 percent perfect. I'm going to hope that this means that after all of the struggles you've been through, that you have a great pregnancy.
@c-town18 I'm so glad that you had a strong heartbeat!!
@knottie7777 @adc0417 @madscientist22 I am cheering for you all and have you in my thoughts.

JamieH2000 · July 2018

@knottie7777- def going to be thinking of you on Tuesday! Lots of prayers they can take care of everything so you can get started!!

@radmom27- thanks girl, I hope everything is going good on your end! How many weeks now?

AFM- Yesterday I met with a NP at the new OB office I am going to for my intake appt since I am a new patient. They ended up doing an ultrasound, which I wasn't expecting, and didn't have DH with me. I was terrified. I am sad to say that the one baby with the slower HB no longer has a HB

we were expecting this, but its still sad. The other baby grew and HB went from 115 to 133 in 3 days, so i was happy about that. My SCH is still very large, so overall I am just terrified something will happen to our one remaining baby. I go back to my RE on Tuesday. Its going to be a long few weeks until we hopefully make it through the first trimester.

laurad75 · July 2018

@JamieH2000 I’m really sorry to hear about baby 2 even though you were prepared. I know you want to focus on the healthy baby but give yourself the opportunity to grieve as well. xo

adirat · July 2018

@jamieh2000 So sorry to hear it, and especially that you had to go through that alone

Like @laurad75 said, give yourself space to grieve if you need it, even with one baby doing well. I have all my fingers crossed the SCH resolves. I also had a large SCH and a scary spotting incident when it came out. It's so nerve-wracking.

prudence9-2 · July 2018

@JamieH2000 sorry to hear baby B had no longer HB.

but very happy to hear that baby A’s HB increased that much in only 3 days and hope you will see another increase on Tuesday!!!

c-town18 · July 2018

JamieH2000 - I'm sorry you had to go through that U/S alone. We are all thinking of you and have everything crossed that baby 1 stays on track.

JamieH2000 · July 2018

@laurad75-, @adirat, @c-town18, @prudence9-2- Thank you all so much for your love and support! it was a hard weekend, but trying to focus and be positive for our one strong baby. Just praying so hard that the SCH can go away and the one baby can keep on growing as it should!! It will all be ok if we can just get our one THB.

radmom27 · July 2018

@JamieH2000 I'm so sorry about baby B. I'm crossing my fingers for baby A to keep growing and thriving. Take care of yourself!!! I am thinking of you.

Joslynj11 · July 2018

@JamieH2000 Big hug for you girlie! I am hoping that baby A just keeps right on track and you have a smooth 9 months!

knottie7777 · July 2018

Had my hysterscopy , have to another surgery remove fibroid and then wait 3 months do a transfer so probably looking at November or December oh well . At least we have the eggs ready go now I just need myself to be ready , oy it’s always something .

c-town18 · July 2018

knottie7777 - Ugh, so sorry you're dealing with delays. It seems like it's the story of our lives, huh? I hope the time goes as quickly as possible and yes, at least you've got the eggs ready which is half the battle.

c-town18 · July 2018

JamieH2000 - I'm on pins and needles waiting for your next update! Fingers crossed for you.

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