Something I've been thinking about and wasn't sure if it should go in the random or question thread since it could be its own thing. And I honestly can't remember if it's been brought up already...
Anyways!
STMs did you choose godparents for your children or no?
All mom's, do you plan to choose godparents for your LOs?
MoMs if you chose godparents for your twins did you choose the same people for both babies or different people for each baby?
Lastly, if you did choose godparents how did you ask them?? Just ask, small gift, over the phone? Etc.
Re: God Parents?
If we did, we would give them a small gift. And it would depend on the person how we did it. My one friend is in Chicago (I'm in MI) so it would probably be over the phone if we chose her.
Another thing to think of!
With DD2 we chose SIL and BIL, because they were offended that we hadn’t chosen them the first time. BIL is Argentine and we didn’t realize how important it was to him culturally. Also SIL converted to catholicism when she married him so she was very excited to be a potential godparent, and then disappointed when we didn’t pick her. Honestly knowing now how much it means to them and how it went down with DD1’s godparents, if I had it to do over I’d have made SIL and BIL the godparents to all of our kids. Oh well. Hindsight is 20/20.
For this one we’re going with my brother and my H’s best friend from college. I’m expecting some “you can’t do that”-s from the church (we’re catholic) but I don’t really care. If they push back hard and insist on a female godparent we’ll tack SIL on there to make them happy, but plan A is for Isaac just to have two godfathers and put them down as co-sponsors of his baptism.
Since finding out we have twins we decided we want each baby to have their own set of god parents. We chose my brother and his gf. I want to do something special to ask them but kind of feel bad all we did was call the inlaws.. we're still going to do something small I'm just having a hard time deciding what to do at this point.
I am Catholic, but DH's family is Atheist and do not believe in Church. Christening our kids caused so much drama *eyeroll*
But anyway, it also made it hard because we were looking at my family for Godparents (eta: and it would have been nice to ask his siblings).
For DS, we asked my sister and brother - that was easy. For DD, we asked my godparents to stand up for her. Which is fine but honestly, my godfather (uncle) is kind of a jerk and now I wish we hadn't. For DS2, we have already asked my sister (same as DS1) and her husband.
We didn't do anything fancy, just a phone call.
ETA2 - I'm so worried that is coming out wrong about DH's family. I mean, it would have been nice to have been able to include them, but also, they don't believe so I respect that. However, they didn't respect that we were Christening our kids and therefore did not show up and made a big deal about it to extended family, which was pretty shitty.
And it made it harder because I have a sister and brother, that's it, and we don't have a lot of close friends who are Catholic, so we didn't really have a lot of Godparent options.
You can phrase it as just being easier for the will/legal side, and explain that of course you want both of them to be involved, but it definitely protects your child to only name the one person.
This may be an UO and I certainly don't mean to ruffle any feathers, but I don't really understand the point of Godparents. From a religious point of view, I understand the idea of course....but back in the day Godparents were chosen to be guardians/look out for your child should anything happen to you. Nowadays I find it to be a bit antiquated as most people assign legal guardians in their will, and very often those guardians are not the same as the Godparents that were chosen. Just my two cents.
DS doesn't have Godparents, but my sister and BIL would be their legal guardians should anything happen to us.
I actually have two separate people named- one is a family member, and the other is a close friend. However, only one will become baby’s guardian if something happens to me.
FYI- No godparents expected; it isn’t a thing in my family or my religion (which is different from my family’s religion).
Actually, probably worth mentioning- one of the conversations I had with the family member I asked to serve as guardian was about religion. This particular person is deeply involved inhis parish (Catholic). It was important that they know that I am not planning to bring baby up Christian. It isn’t an issue if something happens to me when baby is young, but is a whole different issue when baby gets older. (I don’t have a strong opinion on how baby is raised as long as they are allowed to make their own spiritual choices as they grow older.)
With my mom being so young when she had me, my God Parents are my aunt and her best friend from that age. She hasn't talked to that friend in a LONG time. Which doesn't bother me, but is something to consider.
My parents would do a great job but our religious beliefs are different than theirs. Not the end of the world I guess because they would do a wonderful job and love him so much but it does make me a bit uncomfortable. Not that I’ll mind if he decides that’s what he wants when he’s older but I don’t want him raised to believe he has to do things one certain way or he’s hellbound. Also they are both 54 and I feel like a child at that age might just be a burden even though they’re still both in fantastic health.
My youngest sister is married and part of the same church but I think she would be a little more considerate of our wishes. Both she and her man are very level headed and responsible. She has endometriosis really bad and has been told it’s possible they won’t be able to have their own kids. If that’s the case I would love for her to have the chance to raise my son if I can’t.
Third is my middle sis who just had her first baby. I would trust her most to raise my baby the way I would but her bf is a joke.
We are considering a couple friend that we hang out with the most. They have two kids already. Hopefully they will be willing.
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
DS has my brother and DH's sister
DD has my BFF and DH's dad
DS2 will have 2 friends of ours
I had a friend in college whose family wasn’t Catholic (I want to say they were Luthern, but probably wrong on that). She was pissed when her sibling didn’t ask her to be a godparent. I never understood that because she claimed to not be Christian; I always thought being a Godparent was about helping to guide a child in matters of faith.
Thank you @knottieamusements! I was just hoping it didn't come out wrong. As for my IL's, well, they're kind of jerks but that's another story for another day!
DH and I aren't religious and don't go to church, but will probably baptism because it means a lot to my family and it's not something I feel strongly about either way. I'm assuming that priest that married us, who still is at the church my parents go to when they are in town would do it, but I haven't thought that far ahead. Idk who the godparents would be, maybe my bro and SIL since they go to church??
@knottieamusements @sammierose464 we had DD baptized Catholic because that’s how we were both raised but when we moved out of state we switched denominations. We go to a Methodist Church now and they do baptize also but I don’t think it’s a requirement like it is in the Catholic Church (i.e. the whole your child will be stuck in pergatory if they aren’t baptized thing).
Married 07/2012
DD born 07/2014
DD2 born 10/2018
DS born 10/2022
IF history:
TTC #2 since January 2016
June-Aug 2017: 3 IUIs w/Clomid = BFN
Sept 2017: Dx w/Endometriosis
Oct 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN
Nov 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN
Dec 2017: pre-IVF testing
Jan-Feb 2018: IVF--17 eggs retrieved, 13 fertilized, 9 frozen and 1 transferred on 2/10 = BFP on 2/19!!! EDD 10/29/2018
FET Oct 2021: BFP on 10/31! MC at 5 weeks
FET Feb 2022: BFP on 2/15! EDD 10/29/22