I keep getting a lot of, "you shouldn't be doing this or that because you're pregnant" (i.e. laundry, picking up dog poop with a scooper, collecting trash around the house, lifting/carrying a small box, using a stool, etc). Stop me, dickweed.
@zande2016 I’d just say “aw thanks for offering, are you available XX time to do my laundry?” Lol yeah no. Still gotta carry my 29lb child around which is heavier than a small box.
Ive gotten two ‘you look like you’re going to pop!’ Comments this week from strangers. I had no negative comments with ds1 luckily. We’re having boy twins and every nurse/dr acts so sad for us, something like ‘oh that’s ok’ is usually said. It’s annoying! Also lots of comments about how crazy life is going to be with the three littles, which duh, i already know! Didnt plan on having two more at the same time but i always wanted three kids and am feeling so blessed that we get to this way
I haven't gotten any random comments which honestly is making me feel super self-conscious about if I just look heavy instead of pregnant. I think at this point I would welcome a stranger making a rude comment haha
"Wow you're all baby. How much weight have you gained?"
My response "10lbs"
"No way! You've gained more than that. I gained 50 when I was pregnant"
Thinks to self "Why the hell you ask then, and just because you ate everything in sight while pregnant and gained 50lbs doesn't mean I'm supposed to."
Even worse "I hope it's a girl" Finds out we're having a boy. "Awww man, I was really hoping for a girl." This one really pissed me off and these are comments from so called family members.
@mojohn331 I hate when people ask about/make comments about weight gain, it’s always rude. That being said, gaining 50 pounds does not mean someone “ate everything in sight”. Everyone is different and some people’s bodies need to gain more weight than others. There may be some women in this group who are on track to gain 50 pounds this pregnancy, and your comment could be equally hurtful to them. I personally gained 40 with my first, and so far this time I’ve gained about 13ish. Every body and every pregnancy is different. That’s the whole point of why we should never comment on someone’s weight gain, and pregnancy is no excuse to do so.
"Wow you're all baby. How much weight have you gained?"
My response "10lbs"
"No way! You've gained more than that. I gained 50 when I was pregnant"
Thinks to self "Why the hell you ask then, and just because you ate everything in sight while pregnant and gained 50lbs doesn't mean I'm supposed to.”
Um I’ve gained 40-50 with my pregnancies and i don’t eat everything in sight. I know these comments can be annoying but it can be pretty hurtful to others if you say it that way. We all grow babies differently and can lead to body imagine issues. Also, I see your new to the board so please lurk around a bit and see how the board functions. Introduce yourself in the Intro board and feel free to jump in on other threads! We are a very supportive group.
I was also going to say I am on track to gain 40-50 lbs too and I think it's just how my body responds to pregnancy. I eat very healthfully and not "everything in sight". So...I see your point @mojohn331 that you dont have to gain a ton of weight to have a healthy pregnancy, but it does come across as pretty insulting to us bigger gainers to say we are just irresponsible eaters.
@mojohn331 Yeah, I gained like 60+ lbs with DS and still was ill with ketones present (not from GD) because he just needed THAT much from me. I also started that pregnancy in a very unhealthy place where I was basically starving myself and my body stored everything it could to protect itself and the baby... this time through I've barely gained 13 lbs at 33 weeks. Your body does what it needs to do for that particular baby. I fully understand how frustrating others' comments can be, but I encourage you to practice a little more awareness since every mama has her own story. Besides, 50 lbs really is not an outstanding number for a pregnancy at all, it's pretty darn average and totally normal actually. Heck, a huge chunk of that could be simple water retention!
That being said, I hope all is well so far for you, welcome!
Let me make something clear to everyone who responded and to all of you who are assuming I am judging people for gaining a lot of weight (which I am not). The person who I was discussing this with was the one who told me to my face that I've gained more weight than what I actually did and during the same conversation ADMITTED that they ate everything in site and did not have any health issues during their pregnancy. Also IT WAS A THOUGHT TO MYSELF in response to them ADMITTING that they ate everything in site because I didn't appreciate their comment about me gaining more than 10lbs.
I have other health issues as well, just like some of you do, that have forced me to be on medical leave and could've caused me to gain way more than 10lbs, but fortunately I've been able to maintain my weight so far at 35 weeks. I would never insult or "judge" another woman about her pregnancy weight gain because I don't know her situation and it's really not necessary to comment on in the first place.
So with that being said, some of you who decided to "judge" me about my post regarding my personal experience dealing with comments about weight gain might want to reread my post and think about the context.
Let me make something clear to everyone who responded and to all of you who are assuming I am judging people for gaining a lot of weight (which I am not). The person who I was discussing this with was the one who told me to my face that I've gained more weight than what I actually did and during the same conversation ADMITTED that they ate everything in site and did not have any health issues during their pregnancy. Also IT WAS A THOUGHT TO MYSELF in response to them ADMITTING that they ate everything in site because I didn't appreciate their comment about me gaining more than 10lbs.
I have other health issues as well, just like some of you do, that have forced me to be on medical leave and could've caused me to gain way more than 10lbs, but fortunately I've been able to maintain my weight so far at 35 weeks. I would never insult or "judge" another woman about her pregnancy weight gain because I don't know her situation and it's really not necessary to comment on in the first place.
So with that being said, some of you who decided to "judge" me about my post regarding my personal experience dealing with comments about weight gain might want to reread my post and think about the context.
QFP
When you type and share something in a public forum, it becomes more than just a "thought to yourself" - I would take your own advice, re-read your post, and think about how it came across.
@mojohn331 feel free to tone down the defensiveness anytime. No one judged you rather felt judged by your comments. We don't know you and vice versa so no we took what you said with the context that was given. Giving a little insight in how other's may take the statement you made isn't judging rather offering helpful insight.
@wildtot I appreciate the welcome. However, I do not appreciate this group assuming that I think women who gain a lot of weight while pregnant eat everything in site. I was just posting about my personal situation. Instead of being supportive, apparently people took it personally and judged me for it.
It’s fine to think things to yourself. The point was posting it here could be hurtful so some members of this community, not that it was somehow hurtful to the person you thought it about.
@mojohn331 maybe your intentions were not to offend anyone but the way it was shared (without any added context) it can be take offensive. You came into a conversation without any previous introduction or contribution to the board so we don’t know you or your struggles. We all have struggles too but as a community we have shared and provide support. I hope you take the time to lurk around and see that. Honestly i had just commented about my weight in another thread right before reading your post. Call me hormonal or sensitive but it just didn’t sit well with me after trying to reason that maybe this was my pregnancy norm.
@mojohn331 I completely understand how hard it is to feel judged by someone you're talking to like that, and believe me when I say that those comments you get during pregnancy are sooo mild compared to what people will start saying once you've actually HAD the baby. I'm sorry you felt judged over your post, but please understand that you are coming from a place where you were offended and vented to us (totally awesome to do, btw, we all vent whenever we need to here!), but assumed we knew the context... we didn't. Objectively, the wording come across to all of us who were not personally there for your conversation as "I feel judged so I'm judging back," and over a topic that every single one of us has had experience in being told cruel (or at least unsavory) things over. I guarantee you, you will not find a single mama on here who hasn't had someone say something off color about their weight, so the wording of your comment just struck a big nerve with us who have struggled over it. I hope this serves as some understanding that we are NOT here to judge you, but to help you integrate yourself into this lovely community so you can find the support you're looking for during this time. So often typed words can get away from us and convey something we didn't mean.
@wildtot I appreciate the welcome. However, I do not appreciate this group assuming that I think women who gain a lot of weight while pregnant eat everything in site. I was just posting about my personal situation. Instead of being supportive, apparently people took it personally and judged me for it.
Stuck in a box. Nobody assumed anything, you literally said this. Sorry guys, I just can't let this one go today - I'm definitely sensitive about my own weight gain, but also the defensiveness of OP is really bringing out the nasty in me. I'm going to go back to lurking now.
I really didn't mean to offend anyone with my original post. I was just venting like everyone else. After reading some responses, I also have a better understanding as to why you all were offended. My intention was not offend anyone on here at all.
I also was not aware of the formality of introductions for this forum before posting, but see now. This one is set up a little different from others I am part of.
I'm done being polite to people who feel the need to commend on my pregnancy or baby in anyway. Weight gain comments are annoying, and I usually glare at people when they say anything. We're due on July 5, and the next person that says something about a 4th of July baby is also going to be on the receiving end of my resting bitch face.
I find it's the gender questions or assumptions just kill me. We haven't announced to anyone what we're having because I don't want to put my babe in a gender box from day 1 (long story, family history).
I live in a state where we can list Male, Female, X or Undecided on a birth certificate, so when people ask us if we're having a boy or girl and we say we don't know, people tell us they are waiting to find out what we have before buying anything. Since I'm such an a$$hole at this point, I usually respond that won't make a difference to wait because baby will be listed as X or Undecided on the birth certificate. I am glad some people have that option, and it's not actually something we would do, but watching people's heads explode when they hear it has been a huge source of amusement.
@noideawhatshesdoing good for you, I like that attitude. I haven't gotten too many comments about the gender and everyone has seemed happy for me for having a child in general -how it should be! But I have definitely heard those comments and it just enrages me. Like, wanting a girl because I'm a woman, or oh husband must be happy to have a boy, it's just so effed up.
The weight part is incredible, never in anmilla m years people would comment on my appearance or weight when non pregnant but now it's all it is about, oh you LOOK blah blah blah. It is a society issue in general where we are always so focused on appearance and it's just heightened when you're prego.
I'm also getting SO MANY 4th of July baby comments as I'm due on 7/7. Like how does that even matter? I was born on 6/6, am I a D-DAY baby? Is it cool to born on 4th of July? I don't get it! Lol.
I can empathize with the 4th of July comments, I live in Calgary so I keep getting "oh it's going to be a Stampede baby".... it makes me rage because I am not from Calgary, have never been to Stampede, and generally dislike the whole idea of Stampede.
ETA: also because it sounds like I'm going to bear down and birth my baby in the middle of a rodeo....which is not really part of my birth plan LOL.
I'm sure there are some people that think it's really cool to have a 4th of July bday, we're due on 7/5, and honestly I keep asking LO to stay in there until 7/6 because then it will be my half birthday and I can always be that annoying mom about it. Lol.
I wouldn’t say no to a 4th of July baby! But that’s only because a nurse told me when I was in the hospital with my first (6 years ago!) that the room I was in had the best view of our local fireworks. They’re set off right beside the hospital. I’ve just always thought it’d be cool to see them from my room. Aside from that I usually hope to avoid holidays and other people’s birthdays because people are so irritating about it lol.
To all the 7/5 due date ladies - that's my grandmother's birthday :-) I will say she always hated it though because she just got "combined" with 4th of july so we made a point of keeping it separate for her. DH is a Cinco de Mayo and occasional mother's day birthday and DD is memorial day baby, so I think if I go early on 7/4 or 7/5 that would have nice symmetry (high five @BrittG13). Me, I'm occasionally a father's day birthday, and it seems to be a very popular weekend for all other summer birthdays in our family to celebrate during - like 2 weeks early or late just to be that weekend... good thing I already hate celebrating my birthday
I have a 7/11 due date, and my sister has nicknamed her Slurpee. DH and I have joked about buying a 7/11 if she's born that day, and then that will be the family business.
Today, a coworker asked me when I was going to start mat leave, and I said my boss and I tentatively decided on 7/6, but I'd probably work from home for at least a week before then. My male direct report said that I should really talk to my doctor about that and see what they say. Which was very nice of him, because I obviously haven't thought about doing that, what with my tiny brain and being pregnant and all </sarcasm>. I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it, but really?!
@canucklehead123 dude you TOTALLY need to go to the stampede. Even if it's just to get your pregnant self a pickle corn dog! Though having been born and raised in ow town I don't think I've ever missed a stampede! (though this year I might just be too giant and miserable to go...)
had family dinner last night... got a lot of "how are you feeling" with that pity look/tone as I'm limping around the restaurant. Then if you honestly answer anything you get told why you are wrong - like I get DH's grandfather had 5 kids, but he was never the one actually pregnant nor does he have a medical degree. I know all this shit comes from a 'caring place' but i'm too pregnant and hot and cranky to want to listen to any of it
Then as we stand up to leave and i'm struggling hard post meal and sitting for 3 hours, I kind of let out a "oo ow" as i try to straighten so MIL says "IS HE MOVING!?" and tries to do a belly grab. PAWS OFF! I think my "NO" and bitch face clued her in...
I just found out that when I dared to disagree with a man at church this morning in a discussion we were having, both he, his wife, and another man who was present decided I was simply being emotional because *I'm pregnant.* UM, NO. How about I have an opinion based on my own research into the subject that differs from your own white male perspective--my gestational status has no bearing on that. Seriously--why do some men (and some women) think they can dismiss pregnant women like that?
~~Wife to one amazing man~~ ~~Mama to 3 crazy boys~~ ~~Wrangler of 2 cats~~
Starting to get the comments such as, "you look VERY pregnant today." And, "Are you ready to have that baby yet?" Thanks guys.. If I didn't already feel like a whale
The other day someone asked my due date then added "it must be triplets!" Um, no.
Some other coworker said, "i have a new name for you, I'm going to call you chubby from now on!" I laughed and politly responded, "I'd really prefer if you did not." He seemed really offended by my honesty and walked away in a huff. HE'S offended?? and later i overheard him telling someone I hate him now. Really? I just kindly expressed how I'd rather not be called Chubby everyday for the next several weeks. Ugh. Some people are so annoying!!
Someone exclaimed "you're still here?!" on Monday and I was quick to inform him that I should still be here since I am not due until mid July and we don't want a premature baby.
Re: Things People Say to Pregnant Women
My response "10lbs"
"No way! You've gained more than that. I gained 50 when I was pregnant"
Thinks to self "Why the hell you ask then, and just because you ate everything in sight while pregnant and gained 50lbs doesn't mean I'm supposed to."
Even worse "I hope it's a girl" Finds out we're having a boy. "Awww man, I was really hoping for a girl." This one really pissed me off and these are comments from so called family members.
Also, I see your new to the board so please lurk around a bit and see how the board functions. Introduce yourself in the Intro board and feel free to jump in on other threads! We are a very supportive group.
That being said, I hope all is well so far for you, welcome!
I have other health issues as well, just like some of you do, that have forced me to be on medical leave and could've caused me to gain way more than 10lbs, but fortunately I've been able to maintain my weight so far at 35 weeks. I would never insult or "judge" another woman about her pregnancy weight gain because I don't know her situation and it's really not necessary to comment on in the first place.
So with that being said, some of you who decided to "judge" me about my post regarding my personal experience dealing with comments about weight gain might want to reread my post and think about the context.
I have other health issues as well, just like some of you do, that have forced me to be on medical leave and could've caused me to gain way more than 10lbs, but fortunately I've been able to maintain my weight so far at 35 weeks. I would never insult or "judge" another woman about her pregnancy weight gain because I don't know her situation and it's really not necessary to comment on in the first place.
So with that being said, some of you who decided to "judge" me about my post regarding my personal experience dealing with comments about weight gain might want to reread my post and think about the context.
QFP
When you type and share something in a public forum, it becomes more than just a "thought to yourself" - I would take your own advice, re-read your post, and think about how it came across.
Stuck in a box. Nobody assumed anything, you literally said this.
Sorry guys, I just can't let this one go today - I'm definitely sensitive about my own weight gain, but also the defensiveness of OP is really bringing out the nasty in me. I'm going to go back to lurking now.
I also was not aware of the formality of introductions for this forum before posting, but see now. This one is set up a little different from others I am part of.
The weight part is incredible, never in anmilla m years people would comment on my appearance or weight when non pregnant but now it's all it is about, oh you LOOK blah blah blah. It is a society issue in general where we are always so focused on appearance and it's just heightened when you're prego.
I'm also getting SO MANY 4th of July baby comments as I'm due on 7/7. Like how does that even matter? I was born on 6/6, am I a D-DAY baby? Is it cool to born on 4th of July? I don't get it! Lol.
ETA: also because it sounds like I'm going to bear down and birth my baby in the middle of a rodeo....which is not really part of my birth plan LOL.
Today, a coworker asked me when I was going to start mat leave, and I said my boss and I tentatively decided on 7/6, but I'd probably work from home for at least a week before then. My male direct report said that I should really talk to my doctor about that and see what they say. Which was very nice of him, because I obviously haven't thought about doing that, what with my tiny brain and being pregnant and all </sarcasm>. I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it, but really?!
Or ABOUT TO POP, HUH? Uh. Nope. Still got another month.
ANY DAY NOW? Uh. Nope. 6 more weeks.
Then as we stand up to leave and i'm struggling hard post meal and sitting for 3 hours, I kind of let out a "oo ow" as i try to straighten so MIL says "IS HE MOVING!?" and tries to do a belly grab. PAWS OFF! I think my "NO" and bitch face clued her in...
~~Wife to one amazing man~~
~~Mama to 3 crazy boys~~
~~Wrangler of 2 cats~~
Some other coworker said, "i have a new name for you, I'm going to call you chubby from now on!" I laughed and politly responded, "I'd really prefer if you did not." He seemed really offended by my honesty and walked away in a huff. HE'S offended?? and later i overheard him telling someone I hate him now. Really? I just kindly expressed how I'd rather not be called Chubby everyday for the next several weeks. Ugh. Some people are so annoying!!