Things People Say to Pregnant Women

bearmomma1 · May 2018

@kissableviv right, same here. We know we want more than one, and I know we'll have to start trying sooner than later, but hearing it right now is driving me crazy. One step at a time!

@flockofmoosen3 oh gosh for some reason that has bothered me this whole pregnancy too! the "how are you feeeeling?" question. And I know it's in good intentions, but do they really want to know how I'm feeling? Usually I just said "good! good. just counting down the days" and move on.

ashbub714 · May 2018

@flockofmoosen3 yep the “how are you feeling” question is annoying to me too. I don’t let it show bc I know they’re trying to be nice but it just grates on my nerves lol

This is an old one that I should have shared long ago. A 50 something year old guy at my work who chose to not have kids said the following to me when I announced at work.

“Good for you, I guess” with a shrug.
”How does your husband feel about that?”

I politely said “he was in on it too. I didn’t play any tricks on him”.

I had to laugh it off and it’s not super surprising considering his personality but generally not something you say to a pregnant lady lol

He also told me I was “starting to pooch out” when I started showing lol

orchidljr · May 2018

@MrsMiller8588 Yeah, she is a unique individual

knottie9f2468e8835387e9 · May 2018

The people who keep asking "do you have the nursery ready?" In this horrible condescending tone (people who know that we're doing a total reno of that room). Like no the nursery still needs to be primed, painted, light fixture installed and flooring installed and then we have to assemble the furniture, decorate and wash and put away clothes. If I actually voice any of this rather than the more acceptable "we're getting there" they grimace and say "better hurry, he could come any day now" like why are you suggesting that my baby could be born premature? I'm aware that that's a possibility and I'd rather not think about it and also don't criticize the nursery progress if you're not offering to come help

acunamatada · May 2018

I get a lot of comments about how great it is we’ll have one of each too.. Frankly I’d be thrilled with another boy too!

DH has been pointing out when my belly has been poking out of my shirt at home. I get it. I’m very pregnant. Thanks for pointing it out.

hillbillywife · May 2018

@WorkinWeezel Before I got pregnant I actually thought about the comments people would make about us having a third after we already had the ”perfect combination.”

TalesOfASocialIntrovert · May 2018

DH came home from work yesterday and said a bunch of guys at work have commented "just wait until 6 months after the kid is born, your wife will be ready for the next one!" Ahhh, no?! I've been pregnant now since Sept 2016 with a 3 month break last summer....I'm ready for my body to not be occupied by a parasite and feel normal again!! I'm not a glowing, happy pregnant person. I love DD and am thrilled about this little dude but I think I will lose my mind if I get pregnant so soon again

babygagnon2018 · May 2018

My MIL on Mother's Day...

"Just think, next year you'll be a mother"

Ugh no, this Mother's Day I am a mother- now wish me happy mothers day biotch lol.
Needless to say she never wished me a happy mothers day or acknowledged the fact that I AM a mother even though I havn't birthed this baby yet.

gingerbride26 · May 2018

@TalesOfASocialIntrovert PREACH. I am adamant that I am done. I am not a happy glowing pregnant lady either and every time I'm pregnant I do more irreparable damage to my ligaments and joints thanks to relaxin making my existing issues worse. Even before we found out we would now have 1 of each, I had decided I was done bearing children - but everyone is waiting for me to change my mind or pressuring me to have more because they (childless aunts of DH) want more kids around.
@babygagnon2018 the whole "is a pregnant woman a mother on mother's day" thing is so frustraiting. DD was due 1 week after mother's day, but I was told repeatedly i didn't count that year. She was born roughly 2 weeks before father's day and you can bet he got cards and congratulations from the same people. Apparently 2 weeks post womb >>> 41 weeks literal blood, sweat, and tears.

Sarafuss · May 2018

I don't understand people saying that just being pregnant vs. outside baby on Mother's Day doesn't count. It actually makes me kind of ragey. If I'm not this baby's mother while it is inside my body then what would you call me?

supersara2 · May 2018

@babygagnon2018 My mom said the same thing, and I am not sure how I feel about it. It would have been nice to have it acknowledged, though.

The only weird comment I got was from a new direct report. It was one of those days where the weather was getting warmer, but not quite yet, so I had on a t-shirt, cardigan, and a light jacket. I tend to wear all of this until around 11, because for some reason I warm up around then. He said I might get too hot, and then I told him I tend to run cold (which I always have), and he said something like "Oh right, since you're pregnant, it's probably smart to wear layers." OK?

When people say things like "You're due in July? It's really coming up!", it just makes me think of all the stuff I need to do before then. So, thanks for the reminder.

11dematosk · May 2018

Yes I’ve gotten most of what everyone has said. As a mom of two boys everyone’s like well third time’s the charm for the girl...and I mean everyone has said that! I’m like the second one isn’t even here yet. Also my coworkerwr asks me EVERY day how are you feeling? Like that’s what everyone one at work says. Also you shouldn’t be doing...xyz because you are pregnant and you don’t want to go into labor. Like picking something off of the floor

stillziggysmom · May 2018

@11dematosk Oh my gosh, a billion times yes on that last one. Like, I wish I could just sit back and relax like you apparently think pregnant women have to, but there is a toddler to keep up with, and kids to nanny, and chores to be done-- no, my baby will not be harmed in the process, not even by that morning coffee (because again... toddler). Oh! And the passive accusing from still doing yoga. I always ask, "Do you really and truly believe I'd do something to hurt the baby/ send myself into premature labor?"

coco305 · May 2018

@canucklehead123 I'm so sorry that your friend said that to you, that's just beyond awful,

coco305 · May 2018

Oh I also get the
"are you allowed to have _______ while pregnant?"
Or
"you better stop drinking coffee" I have 1 cup
a day, my OB is fine with it.

runsomewhere · May 2018

People can be so awkward, I think it's often unintentional and not meant to cause harm.

The comments that bug me the most are the "you wait and see" ones. This is my second little one. My first was/is a good sleeper at night, super healthy and hubby and I have adjusted well. Of course there are challenges but for the most part I haven't been the exhausted, stressed out mom.

I never go out of my way to boast but when people would find out that my baby was sleeping through the night I'd hear "just wait, if you have a second one they'll never sleep." Or now when people ask how things went with my first I get "watch, this one will be totally different"

I've also seen stuff like this posted all over the FB om group I'm in

Image result for trick baby meme

Like cool, good to know you are rooting against me.

Sarafuss · May 2018

@runsomewhere so much yes to the "you wait and see" comments. It's such a weird thing that people actually want you to experience a difficult baby. I'm fully aware that every baby is different. But you don't know, this baby could be a great sleeper too. But misery loves company.

SmashJam · May 2018

@runsomewhere DH even says the stuff about the next kid to me. Like, "You wait and see, this one will be so much harder because DS was so easy sleeping." Actually, I hope its a little harder, because I know a big part of the reason why DS slept through the night so early was that he was formula fed, and I expect things to be a little bit harder if I'm successful BF, as I hope I will be. Also, DS is a DICK as a toddler (he's also pretty awesome most of the time too, but holy hell he challenges me) so I feel like everything evens out in the end.

runsomewhere · May 2018

@SmashJam on a side note, I heard that the thing about formula fed babies sleeping more/better than BF babies was mostly a myth. I really want it to be a myth lol. I combo fed DD for 2-3 months then did exclusively formula. I plan to really try to BF this time.

@Sarafuss Yup, I get really put off by the misery loves company stuff. It's unfortunately common among moms

SmashJam · May 2018

@runsomewhere I do know someone with a four week old that currently gives her 5 hours of uninteruppted sleep. That being said, my bedtime now is 9. So 5 hours is 2 am. No matter when that 5 hours come, its going to be an adjustment on my sleep, haha, and not nearly what I experience now. I think I stayed up later when DS was born so I can't remember how many hours "sleeping through the night" was for me, but I think it was 7 hours pretty quickly.

ETA: months to weeks.

kbernal2021 · May 2018

I haven't gotten the blatant comments about size like some of you other ladies but at least 3x a week a coworker will comment, "wow, baby girl is really poking out today!"
Then today my conversation went as follow with another coworker:
"You're having a girl right? "
"Yes we are!"
"And you already have a boy?"
"Yes we have a 6 year old son."
"Oh that's perfect, a boy and a girl, the perfect pair! Now is definitely the time to stop!"

morethanamama · May 2018

The wait and see kills me. Not just for pregnancy, for everything. LOL

gingerbride26 · May 2018

@acunamatada YES people have gone so far to tell us "the second is always the devil child" or hellspawn or demon or similar... wt actual f?

@SmashJam DD slept through the night at 8 weeks EBF - she would have slept through the night sooner but wasn't gaining weight and dr made us force MOTN feedings on her. Agree is more a myth or at least loose correlation since the theory is more about fat content which could differ greatly between EBF women anyway so FF vs EBF isn't really the dependent variable.

zande2016 · May 2018

I am guilty of saying this baby is going to be a horrible sleeper because my son is an awesome sleeper. But at least I am just saying it to myself, not to some other pregnant woman. I think I am just a pessimist and can't believe I'll be blessed with two amazing sleepers. My son slept 9 hours straight at 8 weeks and is now at 12 hours at 20 months. Can I really get that lucky twice??

canucklehead123 · May 2018

I was so awkward yesterday and said to my pregnant colleague "if I don't see you again, good luck!" and she responded "oh, we don't need luck!" and I felt like an idiot and then I said "well, happy pushing I guess". I meant to say "all the best" or something along those lines but "good luck" just came out...and then happy pushing... OMG. I'm the worst. LOL.

runsomewhere · May 2018

@canucklehead123 LOL, I wonder if she went home and told people "another pregnant woman at work just told me happy pushing, weird"

@zande2016 You'll be blessed with another great sleeper once you tell us in detail exactly what you did with #1 to achieve the above sleep results.

morethanamama · May 2018

Lol @zande2016 sharing is caring

SmashJam · May 2018

@canucklehead123 lol happy pushing is funny. But good luck isn't bad to say I don't think, kind of like saying, "Hope everything goes the way you want!" i wouldn't take that badly, I wonder why she did?

@gingerbride26 I always thought the formula fed vs EBF had to do with how quickly the breastmilk is digested, like, its easier to digest so babies are often hungry faster? And that it takes longer for formula to digest so they are more likely to not wake up hungry as often? I don't know either way I hope its a myth! That'll make it easier on me!

zande2016 · May 2018

Haha I don’t know! He was exclusively breastfed too, I have no clue if it’s true that FF babies sleep better than BF but that obviously didn’t apply in my situation. Kid just really likes to sleep.

stillziggysmom · May 2018

@zande2016 RIGHT? Im so guilty of saying the same thing. DS has always loooved his sleep from day one. Kid even now at 2.5 with a shorter sleeping schedule is 10+ hours solid at night with a 1.5-3 hour nap and will legit put himself to bed and sleep when he gets tired. He just plain loves sleep and always has. I feel like I tell people allllll the time that this one will likely be a terrible sleeper in order to mentally prepare myself, lol.

@canucklehead123 That is pretty much the greatest well wishing ever and I would think it was freaking hysterical and brilliant if someone said that to me!!!!

zande2016 · May 2018

@d_marie_23 I think that’s what it is, I’m mentally preparing myself. I’d rather convince myself the new baby won’t ever sleep and be proven wrong than go into it assuming he’ll be a good sleeper like his brother and be disappointed.

morethanamama · May 2018

I'm naive and keep thinking that this baby will be a good baby lol. I hope for the best and secretly expecting the worst, but happy positive vibes can't hurt right?

hillbillywife · May 2018

My MIL said to me tonight “oh, I don’t think you’ll make it to July! You’ve dropped!” And then my bff said “yeah I thought it looked like you dropped too”

those are cruel things to say to a mama that goes late..

SmashJam · May 2018

@hillbillywife I had people telling me I'd dropped both times and went 12 days over. I hope no one says it this time, it'll give me false hope!

hillbillywife · May 2018

@SmashJam I know! I think my MIL told me that both times too and I was 8 days and 6 days late. So much false hope.

Sarafuss · May 2018

@hillbillywife I’ve had strangers tell me I won’t make it that long when I say I’m due in July. Not because I’ve dropped since I always carry low but because my belly looks huge. I’m like, we’ll see! I very likely won’t make it to my due date but not because I’ll go into labor early. I’ve always been induced for pre-e or GD. Those comments irritate me though because I hate how random people act like they know my body better than I do or can predict what’s going to happen.

runsomewhere · May 2018

kissableviv said:

I'm naive and keep thinking that this baby will be a good baby lol. I hope for the best and secretly expecting the worst, but happy positive vibes can't hurt right?

I honestly think that a positive attitude and outlook are a huge part of it. Of course some babies might be "easier" than others but a lot if it is also your reaction and how you handle things. Realistically, there will be times when you are tired or the baby is crying for no reason and you're not sure what to do. Are you going to let yourself get overwhelmed, snap at your husband and feel like you're doing something wrong or are you going to try to remind yourself that you're doing your best, babies cry, you are blessed to have this family and tomorrow is a brand new day?

wildtot · May 2018

@runsomewhere for no matter what i told myself or what others said to make me feel good about the entire transition, ppd really got the best of me those days and i did exactly all of that. So now when i share my experience is not to say “everything will be different and you’ll never have your life back or it’s gonna be terrible”. It’s more along the lines of be prepared for everything (best and worst scenario) because everyone’s experience is different by many factors. And if your having a tough, time speak up! There is no shame in experiencing any of that and it can happen even to the most organized and collected person. Maybe the people who say that stuff maybe because they don’t know how to properly share their experience to where it maybe more helpful than annoying.

runsomewhere · May 2018

@wildtot I totally understand that PPD changes things and that it's not something that you can positive talk your way out of. The above was based on my personal outlook and experience. I was fortunate enough to not suffer with PPD so I cannot speak from the perspective of someone who did.

wildtot · May 2018

@runsomewhere i am genuinely happy for those who do have more positive experiences and i wish them upon every mama. I certainly hope the second one will be easier but preparing for the worst (which i was not with DS).

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