Things People Say to Pregnant Women

runsomewhere · May 2018

Seems like the awkward, inappropriate and straight up rude comments are in full bloom as we're powering through the final stretch of pregnancy. I thought we could start a fun thread to vent about the rude comments we've gotten and laugh about the random crap people have said to us during pregnancy.
Image result for say what gif

runsomewhere · May 2018

I have been lucky so far and haven't gotten anything super rude. However, I'm surprised at how many people asked me when I was going to try for a boy after we found out we are having our second girl. Even more amusing is the fact that DH got the same question from several coworkers! I always kind of assume that men are immune from the comments. I'm not sure we'll have a third and if we do it won't be to "try for a boy"

Also, it's true what they say:

You have a baby and everyone asks when you'll have a second

If have a second and it's the same gender as the first everyone asks when you'll try for the other gender

If you have a third everyone tells you that you need a fourth to even out the numbers and avoid having a middle child

If you have a fourth everyone asks you why you have so many kids and if you know about birth control

WorkinWeezel · May 2018

"When are you due?"
"July 2nd"
"Oh yay! Maybe a July 4th baby!"
or
"Oh yay! Maybe you'll have it on.... <a much later date>... on my birthday!"
NO. STOP. You do NOT wish any woman to go over due. Rude. This is the one that bothers me the most.

Also:
"You have HOW long to go?! Are you going to make it?!"

Also:
"You sure there's just one in there?"

Also:
"Wow! You still have a while to go".

Shut up.

zande2016 · May 2018

My favorite is my friend, who is a HUGE baby and incredibly self-absorbed: "I don't know how I could ever have a baby, I have period cramps right now and I'm dying. Aren't you scared to give birth?? Isn't it going to hurt really bad??" 1. don't compare your period cramps to pushing a watermelon through your vagina and 2. yes it's going to hurt, thanks for the reminder?

morethanamama · May 2018

The gender thing kills me! Just because I'm a woman, I automatically want a girl. So dumb.

It usually goes like this...
When you announce:what are you having???
When you announce the gender: did you want a boy/girl instead?
Around the baby shower time: do you have a name??
Towards the end: all kind of comments about appearance, too big, too small, are you eating enough, lay off the pizza...

amdftw · May 2018

I'm having my second boy and I've actually gotten the opposite of "oh when are you going to try for a girl?"

I've gotten "oh boy mom!" or "Mom of boys!". And when I answer happily with "Yes, for now" (because a 3rd child has always been on the table for us) people act shocked.

runsomewhere · May 2018

kissableviv said:

The gender thing kills me! Just because I'm a woman, I automatically want a girl. So dumb.

That reminds me, I have had several people specifically ask if my husband was ok with this being a second girl and if he wants a boy. Um yes, he's thrilled with a healthy child, no he's not upset that I haven't bore him a son yet, and also this is kind of out of our control...

KatyF0813 · May 2018

@amdftw I get the opposite .. When people find out this will be our 3rd boy most just laugh uncomfortably ... Like 3 boys is some kind of freak show. People have said "I'm so sad for you". Sad for my 3 (hopefully) healthy babies? What?!? I also apparently know A LOT of people who know people who were told they were having boys and surprise! Got girls, so maybe I'll get lucky like that too!... Don't they realize they're insulting my unborn baby? The whole thing makes me crazy... Especially when people say it in front of my other boys, implying that THEY aren't enough, that because they aren't girls I do not love as much as I could, that somehow a girl would be better ...

amdftw · May 2018

@KatyF0813 That's so horrible. I'm sorry people can be so thoughtless! Despite the mostly positive responses I've gotten from people I've had some less than ideal things said to me too. Like one of the other moms at daycare "sorry you didn't get your girl." Thanks?

coco305 · May 2018

Aside from the obvious "are you sure you aren't having twins?" comment, to which I reply, well it was twins but one didn't survive (true story & ha, how uncomfortable are you now, you anus?) I get a lot of comments and or fill-in-the-blank answers from people when they hear that I'm Team Green.
Some fave comments:
"oh I couldn't do that, I'm too much of a planner!"

Um ok....so other than a decor scheme, how would you plan differently from a girl than a boy? Also, just cause I don't know the gender doesn't mean I'm not prepared. I still have a full
set up for baby. Including clothing. My child will not be diaperless and buck naked without a place to sleep just because I don't know if it's a boy or girl. And it's 2018, gender rules are bending, who cares if a boy is dressed in pink or a girl in blue?

"Well as as long as it's healthy right??"
well I think that's a) any parent-to-be's wish
b) god forbid my child isn't 100% healthy, I'm still keeping it and loving the shit out of it. It's not like oh I didn't know the gender and you're not healthy so I'm giving you up.

"10 fingers, 10 toes right?"
um yes, but honestly if it's got 11, so what?
and also, if you know the gender, the baby can still have +/- 10 fingers 10 toes. I'm not part of some special group of parents who are in the dark. Being in the dark about gender does not equal being in the dark about fetal or maternal health.

"omg so what about a name?"
"well I have choices for both"
"so what are they?"
"it's a long list, have not decided"
"ohhhhh how sweet, so when the baby's in your arms that's when you'll decide! I love it!"

*um no b*tch I just don't feel like telling your nosy ass, but if you feel that's the correct answer, run with it*

krystlerr · May 2018

Midwife at appt: “are you eating everything in sight?!”

Safe to say I refused to see her ever again. And my weight gain is on track.

Best friend’s obnoxious drunk husband at a wedding a few weekends ago: “wow, krystle, you’re pregnant as f**k!”

Well thank you. My husband was about to deck him had he said one more thing. Luckily we are used to him being annoying and immature while drinking so I could care less.

morethanamama · May 2018

Maybe this is a good one for UO but I don't understand the AF expression. I use it occasionally but I wouldn't use it for pregnancy. I think the shirts with that are dumb. My friend had a married AF shirt and now she is planning to get the pregnant AF one. Maybe I'm old!

orchidljr · May 2018

We have a girl, and I am pregnant with a boy. Everyone assumes that is the best case scenario. It is so interesting. I am thrilled about our boy, but I would have been thrilled about another girl.

canucklehead123 · May 2018

This is a huge *TW* so I put in spoiler.

My best friend was over the other day asking me if I was scared about the pain of childbirth. I said I wasn't scared of the pain, or the tearing etc.. and was struggling to find the right words for the aspects of birth I'm most nervous for, and to fill the silence she goes "dead baby?" UMMMM I actually had no response. Can't believe she could say something so insensitive about my child, and actually can't talk to her about anything pregnancy related now. Was she trying to be funny - some things are just so beyond the realms of humour?!

orchidljr · May 2018

I have gotten all of the usual you're too big/small comments. Just don't comment on my body please. I don't come and tell you how fat you are!

The weirdest comment I ever got was at a waterpark. I was standing there with my husband, and a lady from church walked up. She told me that I should not go swimming because women are different than men, and stuff goes up in places. I was too shocked to really reply. So bizarre.

millpe · May 2018

@orchidljr wait so she thinks women should never go swimming or just not while pregnant? That doesn't even make sense...

morethanamama · May 2018

@canucklehead123 jeez. You never go there, just never. I would have actually gotten really mad at your friend!

hillbillywife · May 2018

I haven’t gotten really many comments. I’m almost a little bummed lol

I did have a waitress say to me the other day (after she got to see my 3 yo throw like 4 tantrums because her schedule was thrown completely out of wack and my 6 yo act like a crazy lunatic because he just has a hard time with being in busy places) “wow I bet they keep you on your toes!!” I responded with yep, they sure do (because it’s true)

then we we were talking with another waitress that we knew and she asked when we were due and the first waitress said “omg and you’re having another one?!?!” Sometimes it’s surprising to us too...

and @KatyF0813 I hate that.. both of my bffs had babies in April. Both girls. Both would have been very outwardly devastated if they had boys and I had to hear all about how disappointed they would have been with a boy for their whole pregnancies. I’m having a boy. Even though I’m excited and I didn’t really care what I was having it’s hard to hear from your best friends how inferior a boy is to a girl.

krystlerr · May 2018

@kissableviv I don’t get that expression either. I find it immature and to use it related to pregnancy is so dumb to me, especially in the context of someone else telling you that.

morethanamama · May 2018

@hillbillywife same here, my friend is the same. She doesn't know the gender but is super set on a girl, I hope she isn't disappointed but I also know she won't stop going on and on about how fun girls are when I'm here just ecstatic to be having a HUMAN, haha!

Sarafuss · May 2018

I get all kinds of "you're huge" comments which are getting really annoying. The most popular ones are:

"You haven't popped yet?!"
"Any day now, right?"

When I respond that I'm due in July (and I let them believe it's the beginning rather than the end of July) I get shocked faces, or comments that I'm not going to make it, or are you sure it's just one?

The NP at my kids' pedi office asked if I was sure of my due date, and also if I was sure if it was just one baby. She followed up with, "I mean not that you look bad but that's a BIG belly!"

We (DH and I and all three kids) were in line at Lowes last weekend buying flowers to plant and an old lady behind us in (a very slow moving) line said out of nowhere, "And you're having another?!" When I said, Oh yea!" in an enthusiastic tone to let her know we are excited about another child she changed her tune and said, "Well, every child is a blessing!". I was surprised by her comment because all three kids were being exceptionally good and were being sweet and hugging on me. They are NEVER that good in public so it really caught me off guard because I was proud of them! lol

wildtot · May 2018

“But you have an excuse!”...when there is food around.
“Oh don’t do that, you might want a 3rd”...when i say I’m getting snipped after this one due to personal medical reasons. No, just no! No more of this torture.
edited English is hard today

zande2016 · May 2018

I HATE when people tell me I’m eating for two, or I have an excuse to eat that cake/cupcake/whatever. Ummm no actually I have gestational diabetes and have to wait until I deliver to eat 90% of the things I wanna eat, but thanks for reminding me of that. Enjoy your cake. asshole.
(this exact scenario happened at my sisters house the other weekend when we were celebrating birthdays, and then again at work last week when a client sent us cheesecake, and yet again yesterday during a meeting when I turned down chocolate my boss was passing around.)

cseley321 · May 2018

I took my kid to the pedi yesterday (strep

) and when I started asking questions regarding it spreading and risks while being pregnant, she was like, Oh, YOU'RE PREGNANT?! WHEN ARE YOU DUE!? I can't help but just think that she must have figured I just got super fat since last time I saw her.

bearmomma1 · May 2018

I haven't been too bothered by any comments people have made to me. Except to be honest from DH. Only because he keeps bringing up the next kid/pregnancy. And how he wants me to get pregnant again right away. And I'm sitting here like I'm going to punch you in the crotch if you try to get that thing anywhere near me any time soon after having this kid. Let's focus on this first kid/pregnancy of ours and let me be excited to soon NOT be pregnant as it seems like I've been for 100 years already.

morethanamama · May 2018

@rachelsogo that's funny! DH and I thought we were done and done because I'm a hypochondriac and it's amazing I've gotten through 85% of this pregnancy pretty easily. We want to wait until we figure this one out but we know that we may have to start trying for #2 pretty soon after if we want another one. Which definitely gives me a bit of anxiety, but that's futire me problem and we aren't making any decisions about that now.

Susan2685 · May 2018

Someone actually asked me if i was going to have a natural birth? A person i dont really know and this is my third child. Just thought it was super weird. My mom asking me yesterday about when im gwtting my tunes tied. I am 100% done having kids but she does not need to know my birth control methods. When I mention that there are options like vasectomy ( she says thats much more difficult on men—- totally wrong). When i state i am quite capable of using condoms then she says the conversation just got weird

canucklehead123 · May 2018

@kissableviv I was too shocked to get mad - until she left and I realized I had/have been stewing about it for days now.

SmashJam · May 2018

@rachelsogo with D'S two weeks after I gave birth FIL asked when the next one was coming and Dh's grandma said she hoped there'd be another baby around the following xmas. This time no ones made any comments that were super rude or weird.

@susan2685 last time around when I said I might be done my MIL asked if her some would get snipped and I said yes and she was like, "good for him!" It was a little awkward but I thought it was funny she asked.

Susan2685 · May 2018

So uncomfortable. Frankly most times even pregnant with my first I said I was a virgin- my mom can get pretty raunchy and has no filter.

stillcozy · May 2018

@canucklehead123 WTF who goes that far?! yikes

I have a lot of clients ask me how close I am but thankfully they have been respectful and no rude comments just a lot of sympathetic moms haha

knottie9f2468e8835387e9 · May 2018

When we found out we were having a boy everyone kept saying "Oh your husband must be happy" and he had actually been hoping for a girl (he's happy about a boy now) if I tell those people "Yes, but he was actually hoping for a girl" they act completely baffled that he would want a daughter. Which is so weird to me because they were the ones saying that he ~must~ be happy about a boy

flockofmoosen3 · May 2018

My only bad comment from someone was when I revealed i was pregnant this time, she was like, "Whew! I just thought you were getting really fat!" Given who said it, I laughed it off with her and moved on, but if it was anyone else I probably would have glared hard and immediately walked away.

And this isn't really a bad comment, but last pregnancy I really started getting sick of EVERYONE asking in that weird earnest tone, "how are you feeling??" every time they saw me.

Not really a comment, but my old boss has a habit of writing off the pregnancies of mine and my coworkers like a month or two before we're due. Only one of us has gone early (for pre-eclampsia and it was expected for a while). I'm like, stop saying I might have a premature baby! I want her to stay in there until she's due!

morethanamama · May 2018

Oh another thing I've been getting is the "oh you're feeling great? Don't worry, it will change once you get to x weeks" or "if you have an easy pregnancy you get an awful labor" gotta love claims totally substantiated by science LOL

krystlerr · May 2018

@flockofmoosen3 I agree about the how are you feeling question. My coworker has been really annoying and asks me that everyday which I have been responding good just tired. (I am slightly anemic and have a two hour commute each day to and from work and with being in my third trimester—of course I’m tired) but anyway now she answers her own questions when asking how I’m feeling and saying “tired”. I can’t help but feel that she’s mocking me so I about feel like telling her to leave me alone and stop asking. I even told her that if she kept asking me, I will keep saying the same thing. Lol

BrittG13 · May 2018

The “No baby yet?!” texts/calls every. single. day. starting around 38 weeks and continuing 10 days past your due date is my favorite and not at all the most annoying thing. Like as though I’ve had my baby in secret and just haven’t bothered to tell them.

Also on boy #2 and nobody has asked me about trying for a girl, just ‘boy mom’ comments..

Also unsolicited breastfeeding advice from strangers like what all I need to do to toughen up my nipples ect. Especially fun if you’re a bottle feeder...

stillziggysmom · May 2018

People have actually been super great this time through, which I've been very appreciative of. Any comments have basically just been the standard "no way are you [however many] weeks" and are determined I'm either too small or too large to be that amount along, or just look at DS and say, "you're going to have your hands full." Now, the pregnancy with DS was a gold mine of them...

"You know what causes that, don't you?"/ "You know how to avoid that, right?"
"Was he an accident?"
"You're way too big to only have 1 in there."
"You know there's things you can try to get him out early."
"Are you going natural or having an epidural?"
"Can't you just schedule a C-section"
"Oh, you're having a boy, are you going to have him circumcised?" Or,
"Oh, you WANTED a boy? Huh... [long pause] well, you know boys are a handful, right?"

Or my favorite conversation,
"How are you feeling, really?"
"Honestly, not so great because of ___."
"Oh, that's nothing. Now when IIII was pregnant [insert overly dramatized version of the exact same thing I just said, here, but with clear intent to tell me that they were a "true martyr"]."

Oh, how lovely people are.

wildtot · May 2018

Me commenting on how we want to raise our child and how your not suppose to do certain things to the older generation (like the grandparents)...”oh well that must be new because we didn’t have those rules when you were little” or anything related to the generation differences.

foxbaby2016 · May 2018

I love how people assume that we are done having kids just because we will have 1 boy and 1 girl...as if that is the ideal situation. I would have been just as happy with two girls or two boys...it really doesn't make a difference to me, Also, just because I have one of each doesn't mean that I'm not considering a third child....

Also, it's driving me crazy that people feel the need to inform me about how HARD it is to transition from one child to two children.

I know.
It's not going to be easy.
I want to ask them why they are clearly enjoying themselves while I'm having a panic attack thinking that I'm going to be a permanently stressed out, anxiety ridden mother of two.

ssthomps · May 2018

orchidljr said:

We have a girl, and I am pregnant with a boy. Everyone assumes that is the best case scenario. It is so interesting. I am thrilled about our boy, but I would have been thrilled about another girl.

OMG this! It is so annoying, because I really didn’t care either way. I would have been happy with yet another girl.

WorkinWeezel · May 2018

ssthomps said:

orchidljr said:

We have a girl, and I am pregnant with a boy. Everyone assumes that is the best case scenario. It is so interesting. I am thrilled about our boy, but I would have been thrilled about another girl.

OMG this! It is so annoying, because I really didn’t care either way. I would have been happy with yet another girl.

"Rich Man's Family" is how people refer to us. Well I guess now we are getting a bonus with #3?!

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