IF Benched/IVF Limbo

suzycupcake · May 2018

This is a place for those of us who have been diagnosed with IF, but are either benched (doctor's orders/self imposed) or in IVF limbo. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on infertility. The road to infertility can be lonely, frustrating, and complicated, so let's make this a place where we can vent, ask questions, and support one another. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this as an ongoing conversation.

****TW aren't necessary in here unless you absolutely feel it's important to use one. IF is IF and it matters, even if you have a LO at home, so it's okay to mention that too in here.****

Diagnosis:

Why are you benched/in IVF limbo right now and how would you like to be supported here?

Any upcoming appointments?:

How are things going?:

Any questions?:

GTKY: What show are you binge watching currently?

wishiwaspreggo · May 2018

Thanks for starting this, @suzycupcake! Hopefully we're not the only two

Diagnosis: PCOS

Why are you benched/in IVF limbo right now: Money. I bumped up my HSA contributions to the maximum amount I'm allowed so that will definitely help over a few months. Not sure how I want to be supported, just looking for others in a similar situation.

Any upcoming appointments? Not until I'm ready to financially commit. Looks like that'll be August.

How are things going? I have a really fun summer ahead of me so I'm excited about that. I'm afraid it will go by too fast. I mean, that's a good thing because then I get to start IVF and hopefully (HOPEFULLY) close this chapter of my life for good. But it's also sad because I love summer and when we pack so much in over the summer the weeks fly by and then before I know it the fun ends and it's back to reality.

In the meantime, I'm gonna start up my supplements again and bump my exercise routine and focus on eating well and dropping some more weight.

Any questions? Not yet.

GTKY: I can't "binge" necessarily because Hulu won't allow it but I'm watching the Handmaid's Tale and loving it! I tried Harlots but it didn't really pull me in that much. It's an entertaining show but not as addictive as others.

kristimh80 · May 2018

Diagnosis: PCO / Anovulatory

Why are you benched/in IVF limbo right now and how would you like to be supported here? April had a failed FET. Waiting on May's cycle so can do an ERA cycle.

Any upcoming appointments?: Not until sono when starting ERA cycle, hopefully Mid-May

How are things going?: Good...staying busy!

GTKY: What show are you binge watching currently? Soaps! If that counts?

suzycupcake · May 2018

Diagnosis: PCOS and infertility--had a convo with our RE yesterday on the phone because I wanted to know exactly why she diagnosed this to be sure it wasn't just PCO because I saw one u/s saying my left ovary had 15 antral and right had 4. She referred me to other u/s reports so I could see how it changes. Sometimes, they were both above 12. She told me the PCO is mild but definitely above the cut off. That with irregular periods and slightly elevated dheas, I meet the criteria. She says that not having weight gain, hair growth in weird places, or insulin resistance is irrelevant.

Why are you benched/in IVF limbo right now and how would you like to be supported here?

After the conversation with her yesterday, we are self benched for at least 3 cycles so we can research clinics and ivf options. My body needs a break and so does our marriage, from ttgp. We've been trying a lonnnnnnng ass time even before we knew about the one year rule. My RE says she doesn't consider the one positive hpt and blood beta cycle to be a success because we have no idea where the embryo was trying to implant. It could've been in one of my tubes. We've done 4 iuis since being diagnosed with infertility, and one medicated trying on our own cycle with soft cups.

She also said that we've done everything we could, that there is definitely a problem, but as it stands, only ivf will be able to see what the problem is. She doesn't recommend mini ivf because we don't know if there is an egg quality issue or not.

How I would like to be supported? I don't know. I just need lady friends on here that I check in with regularly and I'll do the same. I had a few but they have all moved on to their bmbs. I'm so thrilled for them but it also makes me very sad that I won't get to see them in regular threads anymore. I do have one lady left who is in the same position as me @wishiwaspreggo you have been an immense support to me. I love reading your novels and love that you love reading mine. Thank you for being here for me

Any upcoming appointments?: A tsh check tomorrow morning since it was found that I am subclinically hypothyroid which never happened until after my mc a couple of cycles ago. I've been on levo for 42 days now. I'm also gonna have another hsg between 6-11 days of this cycle since I haven't for a long time to check for any tube abnormalities. That will be next week too. She wants to do this in case they need to remove a tube prior to ivf. Apparently, if there is any dilation, unhealthy fluid can back flow into the uterus making implantation impossible. We are also gonna recheck amh tomorrow as well as the next cd3 tests for egg quality, which won't be until whenever my next cycle starts.

How are things going?: Alright I guess. I've been feeling depressed about this. We are also looking into foster adopt options because we've always wanted to do that anyway.

Any questions?: I read on a lot of ivf clinic sites that meds aren't included in the prices and can cost anywhere from $3K-$5K. My current RE says she doesn't think we will pay much more than we pay now on iui cycles because I respond so well to them. Are there any other ladies here that can chime in on what she said? Also, we won't be able to stay with her because the clinic she works at is a university clinic. Their ivf and mini ivf costs exactly the same. We are reading that a clinic should be chosen by success rate. Is that true? We found one nearby that has a 60% success rate and offers two fresh cycles for $7500, not including meds. Embryo freezing and one year storage, which is also not included, is $800.

GTKY: What show are you binge watching currently? Shadowhunters.

kristimh80 · May 2018

@suzycupcake Here if you need anything! I understand your frustration, it's exactly where I was a year ago with everything. Most of my April FET group is moving on to BMB / PGAIF soon, so I'm sure I'll be losing some friends as well

With IUI's, my last one I did full injectable cycle and Follistim for that was $600. My IVF meds were $4700, but got a discount with MDR and ended up being $4200. But I think my RE over-prescribed my meds as well. I responded really well, esp with Menopur added in. Ended up with 50 eggs and 6 Day 5 / 6 blasts to send for PGS testing. Unfortunately, with PCOS, you can develop a ton of eggs, just many can be immature. Usually on scans, I always see at least 40 to start with (20 on each). I did ask my RE about changes we'd do next time, she said probably would scale back more on meds. Luckily, I have over $1k of meds still available.

Anyways, coming to the decision to do IVF, esp after failed IUI's, etc can be difficult. Last June, after our last failed IUI cycle, we took several months off to regroup as well. It was a blessing!! I don't think my heart could have dealt with any ore let downs / heartache. We did get a 2nd opinion as well, but stuck with my originally RE. Do you due-diligence and research. Read all the reviews from actual patients as well...I felt like those were the most honest and how I made the decision to stick with my 1st doctor.

suzycupcake · May 2018

@kristimh80 Thank you

I can relate to the over prescribe. My current RE did that in the beginning after I told her that I know my body and know that I don't need that much. It took her two cycles to admit that I was right lol

You said many with pcos can be immature, do you mean poor quality, or immature follicles? If you mean the latter, can't we tell them we don't want them taking eggs from follicles that aren't mature, or is there not that option because the follicle will disintegrate anyway? I haven't the slightest clue how this works!

How did your second opinion go? Did they tell you anything new?

kristimh80 · May 2018

@suzycupcake In my case, since I don't usually ovulate, I think I had a good amount of immature and poor quality. Ended up with 28 that were mature and fertilized, then on Day 3 had 24 still going. But some ended up arresting or were poor quality. Granted, my RE doesn't transfer anything below a BB grade. So if were at another clinic, I may / could of had more make it for testing. In hindsight, I'm kind of glad they took them all. My head tells me...maybe they got all those that have been waiting to go for a long time that weren't good eggs. I'm sure I'm kidding myself some but it humors me

IVF is so all over the place! Trust your doctor and nurses. Everyone's situation, even if have so diagnosis can be so different.

mcgeeva · May 2018

I’m sorry your having such a rough go @suzycupcAke but it definitely sounds like you have your ducks in a row for testing and getting ahead of the ball for when you start. $7500 sounds like an amazing price for two cycles even without the meds. So our ivf was 8 k for one if covered by insurance but it’s all kind of whack. That didn’t include my 4500 deposit for the ivf or the meds. But if you do meds it of pocket a lot of places will give you a discount for no insurance and we still paid a few thousand for meds. But all in all that is a great price. No we also paid out of pocket for embryo testing which I feel if this is what your trying to do I would pay the extra to know what your Dealing with in regards to egg quality. Taking a break sounds like a good idea to get you and your husband in a good place where you not bogged down by the constant ivf train. It’s draining and tough to see anything outside of it. Hang in there I wish you the best when you start in a few months. The whole ivf isn’t that bad. I would take the shots for retrieval any day over PIO shots. It’s seems daunting but once you start it’s feels like nothing at all. You got this girl!! And I know people appreciate you too opening up the convo for other. Oh def look up success rates and patient ratings. I will only go to SG based on previous experiences and shitty monitoring. Trust you gut. To chime in on the mature follies with pcos- I have it and they had to push me to the max to get a lot of eggs with the follies as large as possible to help with maturity. We have 36 eggs taken, 26 mature then at the end only 6 made it to freeze, and 5 that we’re good enough to use. In case you need numbers. I still think that’s good with pcos.

J1006 · May 2018

@suzycupcake thank you for starting this thread. It’s EXACTLY what I need. Waiting around is the hardest part for me. I’m one of the weird ones that actually looks forward to starting injections because that means I’m actively doing something.

Diagnosis: MFI and searching...

Why are you benched/in IVF limbo right now and how would you like to be supported here?

We just had our first FET in April. It worked but HCG only went up from 100 at first beta to 101 at second beta. I was instructed to stop all meds and HCG is down to 73 as of yesterday. They think it will be down to zero by Friday. Taking a break while I get tested for a bunch of stuff.

Any upcoming appointments?: A ton of blood work. Weekly HCG monitoring until I hit zero. Then a bunch of more blood work to test for blood disorders. At some point another SHG. If all of that comes back normal hopefully another FET in July. If there is a problem with my blood it needs to be confirmed after six weeks of waiting so another transfer wouldn’t happen until August or September.

How are things going?: not the best. Waiting for this period is the worst. I honestly wish the transfer just wouldn’t have worked. His past week has been the best week (positive beta of 100 on Sunday) and the worst week (finding out it’s a CP) of my life. I’m getting there. But the fact that I have to wait and can’t just jump right in to another FET is the worst.

GTKY: What show are you binge watching currently? Nothing now, but thanks for the suggestions

@suzycupcake $7500 sounds amazing even if meds aren’t included. Our package was $12,500 included ICSI, one FET, 1 year of embryo storage, no meds and no PGS. My RE requires PGS so that was another $2000. My meds was where it hurt. About $7000. Originally it was only about $3000 but they had to double my Menopur and triple my Gonal F because I wasn’t responding to the lower doses. At one point I was taking about $700 in meds every night. We took success rates j to consideration when choosing or clinic. The one we went with had better rates. Our RE isn’t a warm and fuzzy person but her staff is great! It’s not that she’s rude or anything but very straight forward and serious. She did give me a hug though at our appointment this week after we found out this pregnancy failed.

kristimh80 · May 2018

I agree with you @J1006 This thread is / was very much needed! So many of us are in limbo doing testing and trying to find answers. My thoughts are with you! Hopefully this next week flies by for you and you can start all your testing. I wish we both were moving on. Selfishly, it is very comforting having a familiar face around

J1006 · May 2018

@kristimh80 I agree! I wish everyone could be successful and move on but when you are one of the few to be left behind here it kind of sucks.

kristimh80 · May 2018

@J1006 No I totally get that

I'm so happy for everyone, but sad knowing all our friends are moving on without us.

linxyz · May 2018

Hi everyone. Hope I can join you here. I've been lurking for awhile on these boards but never posted.

Diagnosis: Low morphology, unexplained

Why are you benched/in IVF limbo right now and how would you like to be supported here?

First FET with PGS embryo failed. Doctors and nurses all stunned because everything seemed perfect and I'm young(26).

Not sure how I want to be supported here, I guess I'm just looking for others to talk to this about.

Any upcoming appointments?:

Doctor wants me to do a scratch this month after I ovulate. But my ovulation kits have all been negative and its CD 23, so frustrating! I usually have regular 28-31 day cycles but IVF and possibly stress have thrown everything out of whack

How are things going?:

Better now that the weather is finally getting nicer. Im hoping to go on more walks and get some Vitamin D in. I read that vitamin D is linked to fertility.

Any questions?: not at the moment

GTKY: What show are you binge watching currently? Looking for a funny tv series to start watching on netflix. Any suggestions?

kristimh80 · May 2018

@linxyz Welcome!! I wish you had joined us not he April FET group. Ladies there are a lot of fun and really supportive. My last FET with PGS failed too...my doctor was also at a loss just like yours. Hopefully AF shows soon for you! I know with all the meds, etc it can throw our cycles off a little bit at times. I'm waiting for AF to show in another week so can do an ERA biopsy to know if we are transferring at the correct time. I wish my doctor would have let me do a scratch like yours!

linxyz · May 2018

@kristimh80 Thank you! We did a natural cycle FET in April since I ovulate normally. The only meds that are in my system is just the Crinone after the transfer, so I'm not sure why my cycle is messed up. I am thinking about switching it up to medicated FET, but I'm terrified of the PIO shot!

It seems like my doctor is the opposite of yours. Mine doesn't believe in ERA. Does ERA only apply to medicated cycles?

wishiwaspreggo · May 2018

@suzycupcake -

I'm worried about the cost of my meds, too. It's such a crap shoot. With my last IUI I took what seemed like gallons of FSH but I only produced 1 follicle $:\$ But I know the dr was being cautious with me since I have PCOS and she didn't want me to over-respond. I'm curious to know what protocol my new doctor will use on me. I wish I could know before having to financially commit... but I guess I'd rather have more money than I need saved up than not enough, and a few months won't make a huge difference in the scheme of things.

@linxyz - I am so sorry your first FET didn't work out

what horrible news to find out your PGS embryo didn't make it... I can't understand how these things fail when all precautions are taken but clearly there are things at work beyond our control. I wanted to suggest the show Schitt's Creek if you have Netflix and are looking for something funny. That show makes me laugh until I tear up. A solid dose of humor helps lift my spirits!

suzycupcake · May 2018

@linxyz From reading about era briefly online right now, it would seem that test checks to see if you are in the 25% of women who needs a transfer on day 6 rather than 5. I don't think it has anything to do with medicated vs non medicated cycle. It seems to be more about getting the transfer timing right.

I always say, it's your money and it's a lot of money. A doctor not believing in era testing should not prevent you from getting it if that's what you feel that you need for your journey.

@wishiwaspreggo They should be able to tell you what protocol they would recommend for you before you spend your money. That's what I'm doing with scheduling consults, letting them know I'd like to know what their plan would be for me before I choose this or that doctor. Nobody seems to have an issue with it, so far. I mean, it's kind of like if you needed knee surgery and you have consulted with two orthopedic surgeons. They go over your scans with you and tell you what they would plan to do during surgery, etc. Maybe ivf is different, but it shouldn't be and we have the right to know information.

Can you tell I'm in protective mode today?

kristimh80 · May 2018

@linxyz Interesting! I'm not sure if ERA is only for medicated or not. My doctor does 21 day FET for everyone, so kind of why I'm pushing for the test. I don't believe a "one size fits all" concept. Plus, I figure I have a high maintenance uterus! lol I don't think my doctor would have even brought it up, but since I did and only have 1 embryo left, she was open to it. Really wish they'd offer a scratch or ERA before you do any transfers. My RE said some do and she thinks it's overkill, but since we are OOP...I'll do anything before coughing up another 4k before transferring. PIO shots aren't bad! The needles for them just look worse than it is. Using a heating pad to warm the area and the oil I believe was key in doing them and little massage after.

@wishiwaspreggo How much follistim / gonal-f did they give you for your IUI? I know my last IUI I was on 600iu of Follistim and only got 3-4 eggs. Then when I did IVF, the Menopur added in made me follicles go crazy! I also have polysistic ovaries with a lot of follicles. With IVF, they aren't as careful. I did over-stimulate with less meds than I needed so have over 1k still sitting in the fridge. My dr did say if we do another round, she'd back down on the amount ordered, etc. But I get it...I wish I had that $$ in my account and not my fridge right now! Have you signed up with Compassionate Care or First Steps? Both give discounts on meds based on income. We didn't get a discount with them, but I know MDR Pharmacy will still give 5% off for cash paying people that don't qualify. It saved us a few hundred at least.

wishiwaspreggo · May 2018

@kristimh80 - I did 100 iu over 5 nights, then they bumped it to 125 over 3 nights, and then 150 for 2 nights so that's 1175 iu

That just seems like a LOT for 1 measly egg. That's reassuring that Menopur boosted your ovaries more than Follistim. The protocol my doctor uses is Menopur or Bravelle so maybe that will make a difference! I sure hope so. I'd hate to go through all that only to find they didn't get enough eggs from me. I was planning to sign up for Compassionate Care. I got their 10% discount from Gonal-F so I got a good chunk of money back. I'm hoping for a better discount. Also contemplating ordering my meds from overseas. I've heard some positive things about that. Thanks for sharing that info! I'll look into First Steps, too.

@suzycupcake - Do you have to pay for a consult with each doctor or can you just ask and they tell you? I don't want to have to go up to the doctor and ask questions if they're going to charge me $150 for the pleasure. That's money that can go towards my medications, dammit

kristimh80 · May 2018

@wishiwaspreggo Oh wow, that was a lot for just an IUI alone! Yes, FX that extra LH hormone of Menopur will get your ovaries going! Yes, I've seen a lot order form overseas with good luck and it's a whole lot cheaper!

suzycupcake · May 2018

@wishiwaspreggo I understand that reservation. Some docs charge, some consults are free. For me personally, I'd rather spend $500 to figure out options and go with the doctor whose plan seems the most logical than to pay for the one I think would be the best and find out their plan sucks, or something. But Idk... my logic doesn't make sense either right now ha ha!

linxyz · May 2018

So apparently I did ovulate sometime a few days ago. I think I need to throw my ovulation kits away. Going in for the scratch/biopsy later today! I hope its not as painful as I heard.

@kristimh80 My financial rep at my clinic told me the scratch would be considered part of the office visit and I only need to pay copay. I think it might be pretty cheap if you are paying OOP. Maybe you can ask?

@suzycupcake I think if this cycle fails, I will push for ERA testing. I hope that it won't get to that point. I can't imagine switching clinics. My current clinic is the closest one to my work, where I can easily step in for quick monitoring and still get to work at a decent time.

kristimh80 · May 2018

@linxyz I already asked at our last appointment and my doctor said she didn't do them. But since I only have 1 embryo left, I'd rather do the ERA biopsy and have things tested so I know 100% that my transfer is being done at the correct time or if I'd need more / less progesterone for it. Best of luck today!!

wishiwaspreggo · May 2018

@suzycupcake - your logic definitely makes sense! I think you have more options being in California than I do in Indiana. We only have one clinic offering the type of IVF I want. My other option would be to go to Chicago which I am contemplating... I'm familiar with the area having lived there before and if they have better success rates that may be worth pursuing. Plus I could eat at Baker's Square and get me a slice of French silk pie

suzycupcake · May 2018

@wishiwaspreggo I'm glad that my wine logic makes sense to somebody!

Believe it or not, NC is beating other states in terms of IVF success rates! IL is beating a lot of states in terms of insurance coverage for infertility. Check out the fertility grades across the country. Only 6 states offer the most support and best treatment for women struggling with infertility:

Graded color codes
Green is a grade A
Yellow is a grade B
Darker yellow is a grade C
Orange is D
Red is F

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/69/udl7fk8d8rv7.png

mmmmmmmmmm

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/nt/ia3wqq38phyp.jpg

mandurz · May 2018

I will go ahead and hope on this board cuz honestly at this point I dont know where I stand and what the next step is.

Diagnosis: PCOS with insulin resistance

Why are you benched/in IVF limbo right now and how would you like to be supported here? I went through 2 IVF cycles and only have 1 embryo that has yet to be PGS tested. I dont know that I can afford to do another cycle or if I would even want to the way this last one went. Only 6 eggs retrieved, they were all mature and all fertilized but none of them made it to blast. I told my nurse 3-4 days before the trigger that I was very scared that this exact thing would happen and was not very comfortable with keeping going (honestly we only thought we would get 4 based on the follicle sizes). With my history of embryo survival rate, how they decided that it would be ok to continue instead of cancel is beyond me. But of course I went against my better judgement because the dr really hasnt steered us wrong yet...until now. And now 10k down the drain with nothing to show for it. At least the first 10k resulted in 1 embryo. I am not really sure how I want to be supported other than letting me get my frustration out so I am not unreasonably rude to my nurse when she finally returns my call. Its not her fault outside of maybe not carrying my concerns to my dr before he made the choice to go ahead and trigger for the ER with only 4 follicles.

Any upcoming appointments?: A next step consult on May 23rd, but let me tell you what....I am going to get some answers before that

How are things going?: I am straight in the Anger stage of all of this. I am so pissed I can barely contain myself.

Any questions?: Anyone looked into embryo adoption at all? My clinic takes donated embryos from couples that have "finished building their family" and charges 5500 for another couple to use them. That sounds completely outrageous to me. The donating couple will not be compensated for their embryos and the clinic has already been paid for the services to get those embryos. How in the hell does it cost soo more than a simple FET. I know they will need some extra beyond the FET costs for the physiological eval and for the person to actually do the matching...but come the hell on...5500 for all of that? No that is double dipping crap going on there.

GTKY: I am catching up on The Originals on netflix.

kristimh80 · May 2018

@mandurz Ugh, my heart is with you and listening to your story makes me beyond aggravated at your doctor and clinic as well!! I wish there was something I could say to make it all go away for you

But feel free to vent here as much as you need! Definitely PUSH for those answers!!! You shouldn't have to wait that long to see someone, esp after them enduring so much $$ on your behalf when this cycle probably shouldn't have gone thru with your history. But I understand why you did...I always want to believe miracles happen and this maybe the one time everything works perfectly. I don't know much about embryo adoption, but I'm with you, that the cost is outrageous being the donor gets nothing from it. Especially, with them just sitting in storage on ice mainly. Only thing I can think of is maybe they have to pay legal fees to transfer them over to you and cover their liability part of it. Still that's $5500 plus probably what ever they charge you for transferring. FX you can get some real answers soon!!

mandurz · May 2018

@kristimh80 I absolutely will push. And honestly at this point I am going to ask that they help me out with the costs of either the embryo adoption or another cycle since no one listened to my concern. I know without a doubt that the answer will probably be full of bull crap and no for a final answer...but if thats the worst they have for me is no, then why not take the risk and potentially get a maybe...or a yes.

kristimh80 · May 2018

@mandurz Totally do it! If you don't ask, then you will never know. Plus, like you said, the worst the can say is no. At that point, I'd probably be researching another clinic for 2nd opinions because you don't want to go thru another cycle wondering "is anyone going to take me seriously"? Or feel like you maybe wasting your $$ once again. Sadly, it sounds like your office is like mine. Half the time I feel like my nurses are my doctors because I see my actual doctor every blue moon. Though, I love my doctor, if / when we do another retrieval, I may consider another 2nd opinion to see if someone would do a change of protocol that may result in better quality.

J1006 · May 2018

@mandurz ugh that is so frustrating! I looked into embryo adoption when our PGS results came back with three of our embryos as abnormal and two inconclusive. Price does vary depending if you go right to a clinic or through an agency. I feel like $5500 is a lot if they are already at your clinic. The legal documents are simple since it’s just a transfer of property not technically an adoption. I wouldn’t imagine that would cost that much.

@linxyz...you mentioned vitamin D. If they haven’t already ask your doctor to run a blood test to check your levels. I wasn’t deficient yet, but was in that insufficient category. They put me on an extra 2000 units per day in addition to what I was already taking.

suzycupcake · May 2018

I'd ask them what the breakdown of that donation price actually is. There has to be a way around it. It's a donation, not a costation. /eyeroll I'll bet you if the women donating knew about it, they would raise hell! Did they tell you why they didn't cancel? Do you have to pay for ivf again if they do cancel?

I agree with kristim, get a second opinion if you aren't satisfied after pushing them for answers. I have read that the embryologist is just as important as the doctor doing your ivf so that's something to look into also. I'm so sorry this happened. My heart hurts for you.

ndz2018 · May 2018

Why are you benched/in IVF limbo right now and how would you like to be supported here?

Not the happiest about being here but thank you @suzycupcake this board was much needed. So long story short our FET is on hold due to many factors. It was one of the most painful decisions of my life Bc I was So close. I am Sad to have to be here but am thankful that I have so much love and support through my IF girls! How Id like to be supported hmmmm just need people who understand this sort of pain to listen and not judge... this whole process is hard enough. People in my life just don’t understand and I just need someone who empathizes, not someone who judges right now.

Any upcoming appointments?: Have to talk to the clinics social worker next wed and then first appointment to move forward is June 6th, which normally i’d Be pissed it was so far away BUT since I’ll be taking this cycle off and 6/6 will be right before my next cycle is to begin so I can deal. Of course I’ll be calling every week to see if there’s any cancellations Bc, ya know , I’m kind of a control freak.

How are things going?: BLAH! It was a tough pill to swallow but I am Here, I’m alive , I’m healthy and though I want To kill him sometimes I’m am thankful i have the support of my H who sat home with me yesterday as we mourned what should have been.. many tears were flowing, went out for lunch(got drunk Bc you know I’m not PUPO so why not?), laid in bed all day and watched movies while we cuddled with our a-hole dog( I say that in the most loving way lol)

Any questions?: none I can Think of

GTKY: What show are you binge watching currently? Right now there’s quite a few but I think I’ll go with Scandal, Westworld, and Blacklist ... I love me some shows

@mandurz I am so So sorry about what is going on. Yes , $5500 for embryo adoption is absurd! These people donated them with the intention for some other family to have them NOT pay out the a*s for them!

@suzycupcake I’m in a green state! I have To say I’ve have nothing but good things to say about my clinic, they hooked me up with a social worker Bc of the cancelled cycles I’m guess to help ease the transition of my disappointment , and probably to make sure I’m not INSANE... which is still TBD

@kristimh80 Soap opera lovers UNITE!

@j1006 Hoping your levels drop to zero next blood test!

@wishiwaspreggo the wait can be brutal but your mind seems to be the right place, enjoy the summer!!!

@linxyz I’m so sorry your FET failed. I’m telling you the universe must have something planned for all of us with cancelled cycles, failed FETs and whatever else out hold ups are we’ve all been through hell and back to get to this point and to have it ripped away, well in my mind there’s a bigger picture we have yet to see. Sending love and light doll.

kristimh80 · May 2018

@ndz2018 ((hugs)) Nothing I can say that I haven't said already in the last 24 hours, but glad you jumped on here with us! Hope you have another good "me day"!

Thanks again @suzycupcake...this thread is way over due and needed! I was jumping around boards not "fitting in" anywhere, so it was frustrating.

mandurz · May 2018

@ndz2018 so sorry to see you in limbo. I was reading the mey FET board and was happy to see you so close to transfer. Sometimes a break is what's best in the end. I hope you can figure out your next steps quickly.

wishiwaspreggo · May 2018

@mandurz - I have a friend who is donating her embryos (a woman who used our donor and we're connected to because her son is my son's half brother). I've thought about asking her but I figured I should keep trying with my eggs since I'm still young-ish.

But in any case, yes, $5500 is crazy. I'm with @suzycupcake, you should ask for a breakdown of what that cost entails. I could see them charging the recipient for the storage fees, thawing/transfer, medications, and legal paperwork but I can't imagine it would add up to that much... curious to know what they come back with and I hope you get your answers soon!

@ndz2018 - I'm sorry your FET was put on hold

I'm sure you're very frustrated. If it's for the best, though, another month could make all the difference. I hate waiting, too. I wish I could make money grow on trees. Or at the very least win a couple thousand bucks on a scratch-off lotto ticket or something lol... but all I can do is save my pennies. I'm working on an Etsy business to sell cross-stitch pillows. Dunno how lucrative that will be but I figured it was worth a shot since I like to craft anyway. Stress relief + making money is not a bad combo

kristimh80 · May 2018

@wishiwaspreggo Your Etsy shop sounds fun! I love crafting too! Let us know when it's up and running

J1006 · May 2018

@ndz2018 I was shocked to see you here!! So sorry that your FET was cancelled! AF started for me yesterday so earliest I would start another FET cycle would be early June as well. I’ll be hanging out here until then

ndz2018 · May 2018

@j1006 Thank you doll! I'm glad our transfers will be close again!!!

suzycupcake · May 2018

Sorry @ndz2018 What a shit storm! It sounds like you and your husband did all of the right things beginning middle and after. So glad you have each other

and a clinic counselor? That's awesome. Maybe your state can talk to my state. Let's put them on the phone with one another

Hugs to you. I get the control freak part. It's like we have to be. If we aren't, we will fall through the cracks unfortunately. Every time I've let my guard down, that's what happens so I've given up caring how I'm seen at any clinic. If my tenacity isn't seen as a strong desire to have a baby and that's it, then they can go F themselves! Hugs hugs hugs

mandurz · May 2018

Thanks ladies for all the support. I had a lengthy phone conference with my nurse and asked about several things. She sounded hopefully at what I was asking (basically for a comped cycle/embryo adoption or massive discount). She said she doubted that he would fully comp it but has seen him work with couples like us very well before. So a light at the end of the tunnel is possible.

kristimh80 · May 2018

@mandurz Ahh that's wonderful!!! FX your doctor comes thru and makes things right for you!

So glad your nurse was able to shed a little light and hope on things.

IF Benched/IVF Limbo

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