IF Benched/IVF Limbo

linxyz

The scratch was so painful! And everything is normal in the biopsy report FML. So now we will be expecting to transfer in end of May/June.

My RE is upset and gave me hell today about wanting to transfer two embryos this time around. He said "I won't be able to sleep throughout your whole pregnancy if you have twins". It felt like a disappointed father giving a lecture to his daughter....I think I have to rethink this.

@mandurz good luck with the embryo adoption and getting a big discount! 

@ndz2018 so sorry that your cycle was cancelled! The waiting is so incredibly frustrating. I'm keeping busy by signing up for a hot yoga class.

ndz2018

@mandurz So glad your phone call went well and I really hope you guys can work something out!! This is all so disappointing and awful sometimes that it’s nice when people are hopeful and helpful at the same time! 

@linxyz Thank you. Are your embryos PGS tested?

kristimh80

@linxyz So glad you got that out of the way and have some kind of answer. Least going into your next transfer, you won't be 2nd guessing things. On the note of you're doctor....transfer what you feel in your gut is the right thing to do!

linxyz

@ndz2018 yep. I have 4 girls and 1 boy left on ice pgs tested. 

@kristimh80 I do feel like my doctor is very risk adverse, but I'm also a bit scared as well. But I think we will go with two. Do you know when you will be transfering yet?

kristimh80

@linxyz Honestly, if I had an extra 2, I'd be doing the same thing! Probably won't be transferring until beginning of July if my cycles all cooperate. 

ndz2018

HA @linxyz so funny I have 4 girls and 1 boy on ice too!!!  plus 3 mosaic not sure what the sexes of them are. So I think if you are totally comfortable with transferring two you should, they are more concerned for the risks that comes with multiples and the risks to the momma. I also Feel like because they are PGS tested your first try is like 65%, your second go your chances go up to like 84% and god forbid you have to go for a 3rd it’s some where in the 90% ... that all being said nothing is 100% and  as long as there is no other complication, underlying problems or diagnosis I think You have a pretty good chance on your second go with 1 or 2, again that is a personal decision and only you and your H can decided that. Can I ask you why you are decided to put two in? If you don’t want to answer that you can tell me to go screw lol

linxyz

@kristimh80 I hope your body decides to cooperate!

@ndz2018 Yea I think it's sweet that my doctor thinks about risks to the mom. Funny thing is, my SIL also did IVF and her doctor recommended two despite her being young and fertile.

I think I just want to increased my chances of getting pregnant. I have never seen a positive hpt, so I admit i'm getting a bit desparate. My family is also concerned about my mental health, they realize that every failure is devastating. 

Also my traditional family is throwing all sorts of superstitions at me. They think maybe I'm fated to have a girl(we prefer boy and put in boy last time). So by putting 1boy/1 girl in, this would cover the superstitious route.

I keep thinking about this in circles. I might change my mind last minute.

ndz2018

@linxyz Did your SIL do PGS testing too? I have a friend who did IVF about 11 years ago she was 30/31 at the time and they put in 3(untested) embryos and 1 took. I feel like if PGS testing had been done they wouldn't have done that.  That's so funny that your family thinks you're fated to have girls, my fam is the same way and we are putting the boy in first and hoping!!!!  If not it'll be all girls for us. Unless of course we decide we desperately need a boy to complete our family we will discuss what our next steps will be for that....whether to use one of the mosaics, if there is a boy in those 3 or do another retrieval which would be a little extreme just for a boy, all i want really is a healthy child.

linxyz

@ndz2018 my SIL was 32 at the time and they were PGS tested. Both took but one vanished around 9 weeks unfortunately. I do think her clinic was pretty reckless

i totally understand how you feel. In the end all that matters is a healthy child!

suzycupcake

Wow ladies! I didn't know you can know the sex of the embryo. That's incredible 

So I've been going back and forth between wanting to do ivf and wanting to do more iui after a break. I got a copy of the it starts with the egg book and rethinking the way I think about all of this. I think I disagree with my doctor that the +hpt and +beta in February (our 3rd iui) shouldn't be considered a successful attempt 'because we have no idea where that embryo tried to implant'. Why didn't they do an ultrasound to see? Plus, my tsh levels elevated after the mc. I have no idea if it was elevated prior to due to fertility treatment.

That could've been the cause of the mc. She says she doesn't think it is, but how can she possibly know that? All of my other thyroid labs were normal so it's considered subclinical. I've never had an elevated tsh until fertility treatment and mc. So I don't think it's unreasonable to think it is was the cause. I'm not sure which cart came before which horse, but whatever. I read multiple studies that show a marked increase in tsh from controlled stimulation cycles, even for women without thyroid problems. She had said before she thinks that's only true for ivf cycles. Well, that's not what the studies say. 

My levels were checked again, right before I starting taking the thyroid med and they had gone down one point on their own. I took the med for 42 days anyway. Recently, she told me she thinks I need to stay on them and doubts my levels will stay down. I told her that doesn't make any sense since I'm subclinical. There'd be no reason my body wouldn't regulate my thyroid on its own, in that case. She replied back saying that she understands if I don't want to take it at all and just recheck levels later. 

The book seems to be suggesting the only reason ivf success is so high is because the embryos can be tested and selected, that it used to be the thought that we can do nothing about egg quality, but now we know that isn't true. 

Idk, ugh. Have any of you ladies read this book?

J1006

@linxyz that’s a decision that you need to be comfortable with. That being said my RE wouldn’t transfer two at my age. She’s super strict with her policies so I could see her having the same response as your doctor. Is there a way you could sign some sort of consent form acknowledging the risk of twins?  I had to do that when we were doing medicated IUIs. 

AFM, my HCG is down to zero!  I do another SHG next week. They are going to run my extra blood tests through insurance too to see the cost before they run them. She said some are pricey of course. Luckily our insurance has been great about covering diagnostic tests so hopefully they cover this as well. 

ndz2018

@suzycupcake RIGHT?!? Isn’t that cool ? When you PGS test you can also find it the sex! Normally they suggest it if you’re over 35, have had MMC, or PGD if there are known genetic diseases and im sure there many other reasons one being peace of mind. I personally am 37 and wasn’t gonna chance. Thankfully my old eggs seem to be good quality with the 5 normals, trust me I was SHOCKED, But it was a relief. I feel like the 3 mosaics are still in the game too they just don’t recommend them for transfer I guess Bc I have The normals. i have not read it starts with an egg BUT I know many women who swear by it. I didn’t do much to prepare for my IVF. I started taking ubiquinol in Oct(300mg 2x day), vit D and of course prenatals did our ER in late Dec. now I cant Tell you why I had A good response my guess it was dumb luck. IVF is also a personal decision,  I have To hand it to you with all your research, My patience wore thin real quick so I jumped the gun early and went to the RE then straight to IVF. 

suzycupcake

@ndz2018 What is mosaics? 

I'm glad you mentioned how much ubiquinol you take because I was worried it would be too much for me. It was hard enough for me to even get myself to take prenatals lolol I'm so anti med so all of this has been very trying for me. 

It's so great you've had a good response. Who cares why right? ha ha

My patience is wearing very thin. My main thing right now is forcing myself to follow the research. Ordered the supplements. Now I just have to start. PCOS is already a factor. I’m not gonna get younger.  Eeeeek!

ndz2018

@suzycupcake Mosiac means they contain normal and abnormal cells... there’s been lots of articles recently that say something to the fact... like abnormal cells correct themselves and perfectly healthy babies are born.  Def don’t quote me on that lol. If it comes down to it I will Use them, but let’s Hope 5 normals is more than enough. I do Have 3 more IVF cycles covered under insurance but that doesn’t include the PGS testing package.

suzycupcake

Ok gotcha. Man I wish I had your insurance lol that's great! 

I found this a little while ago and it's really interesting https://www.israel21c.org/trouble-getting-pregnant-try-chinese-medicine/

kristimh80

@suzycupcake Me too!! I wish my insurance would cover something! lol

@J1006 Great news! Glad you are able to get the ball rolling again! Hopefully your insurance will cover the bloodwork. I know I was thankful with my initial blood work that they did as well. I saw the bloodwork was like almost $900...crazy what they charge!

mandurz

@linxyz honestly I don't know why some drs are so against transferring 2. I get for some it may not be a good place to start, but if you discuss the risks and understand them, then why can't you make your own informed choice? I have a bit of a story to tell regarding this type of choice....lots of potential triggers

My first transfer 3 years ago we immediately went for 2, and yes I got pregnant with twins. The biggest problem turned out that my cervix didn't want to stay closed and I delivered at 29 weeks. We did loose one twin june last year and found our that a lot of the cause, was his lungs never caught up from being premature. We had taken him to a pulmonary doctor and I feel like what we were doing gave us extra time with him. His brother is apparently fine (we had a specialist check almost everything after the loss to be sure we wouldn't loose him for the same reason). One friend told me that because I am so short, that my body probably couldn't handle twins and that is why I delivered so early. I don't know if that had anything to do with it or if it was just a fluke accident, but maybe that is something to consider as well. If you are short (I am 5' 1.5") then talk to them about how that would make a difference if you did get pregnant with twins. I don't want to sound discouraging but apparently height can make a difference. I still say go for 2 the Dr shouldn't be able to stop you if you are making an informed choice

suzycupcake

(((((((( @mandurz )))))))))) 

suzycupcake

Does anyone have an opinion on sustained release ALA vs regular?

suzycupcake

Gies, I'm totally geeking out on molecular biology right now. Look at this, just one of the antioxidants we can take. It improves oocyte quality, sperm motility, increased pregnancy rates, and even a substantial increase in progesterone levels! https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4209073/ I'm so amazed by this stuff!

ndz2018

@J1006 I am so Happy you’re levels went down to zero FINALLY! 

@mandurz You’ve had such a tough go at this whole TTC journey.. lots of love and light!

@suzycupcake and @kristimh80 I had ZERO idea going into this that my insurance literally picked up everything from the testing to the procedures, shoot even the medications was covered everything BUT the PGS package ... I couldnt Be more grateful!! I just Wish the out of the 3 rounds I had Left I could Give away some of them if i didn’t use it. 

AFM, CD 1 here guys! Guess today starts the beginning of a med free, relax for a hot min cycle. At least I can get an idea of when I’ll be able to move forward. If it cooperates i should get my next AF around June 9/10 and since my Dr only does transfers on Tue(it’s a big clinic her transfer days happen to fall that day) my guess is I’ll be looking at a July 3rd transfer.

kristimh80

@ndz2018 Exciting!!! I like the idea of you having a close to 4th of July transfer. Little firework embie! 

Actually, I just looked at my calendar...if my schedule stays the same, we maybe transferring on the same day!  

scully127

This thread is perfect for me! I am like the reject kid who won’t get picked to play on the team. 

Unexplained infertility. Our plan is to do six rounds of IUI. 

Benched for past six/seven cycles now due to cysts, hyper stimulation (too many follicles) or wacky cycles (follicles grew before I could take Clomid). My husband is about to travel to Brazil so there is also a Zika risk. We may continue using frozen soldiers, since you can’t TTC for six months in this situation. But apparently that is a whole lot less effective. We have only completed one IUI cycle since October. 

Having a hard time lately. I had to throw a baby shower last week for half of my practice group going on maternity and paternity leave at the same time. Mother’s Day doesn’t help either. I tend to alternate between depression and avoidance. 

mandurz

How exciting @ndz2018 and @kristimh80! It's awesome to hear that even though it feels like forever from now...you have a plan.

@scully127 welcome, sorry there is a need for us all to be here. Hopefully with the frozen soldiers you don't need more than one cycle. Having that many cycles cancelled is more than frustrating. I felt so frustrated just being pushed back for 2 cycles, I couldn't imagine how awful for 6/7. 

kristimh80

@scully127 Sending lots hugs!! I know exactly how you feel! You're in the game, but feel stuck because of delays. I was benched after my failed FET and struggled a lot daily knowing where to fit in anymore. Luckily, this thread is perfect for all of us in limbo FX for you that your IUI's work for you soon!!! How many follicles did they deem too many? I was able once to trigger with 4, but I don't think I could of work more. I do have polycystic ovaries, so always have a ton of follicle regardless lingering. Wasn't sure if that maybe the case for you as well. 

@mandurz True! A plan at least makes me feel like I'm doing something productive! Are you still doing a retrieval this month? 

scully127

@kristimh80 One cycle I produced over a dozen follicles (!) on just 100 mg of Clomid. In the words of my doctor, “an IVF response.” They then lowered it to 75 mg and then I had five follicles which was one too many. It is bizarre because the first month I ever took Clomid I had three good follicles on 100 mg, but no pregnancy. This month I am down to 50 mg, but the doctor told me that I can do the Clomid but it will likely not work since it is too late (but hey, who knows what my body will do, right?). Why did they bench you following the FET?

Yeah, I really hate this limbo. Even if treatment fails, I just want to be able to complete it and move on if it is not meant to be. I am thinking about adopting, but I need time to process the grief once I stop treatment and then I need all the time to complete the adoption process. I am 33 and have been trying for over a year and a half but not quite two years, but it could drag out for many more years. 

Oh I forgot to mention my favorite TV shows! I love kdramas (even though I am not Asian) and have been watching a dating show called Signal House on Drama Fever. It is so good! Any kdrama fans? 

kristimh80

@scully127 Wow over a dozen follicles would be a lot for an IUI! I never did Clomid, only Femara, which my body could of cared less about. The went to injectable, which seemed to do the trick. Af was going to start before I could see my doctor for a consult before the next cycle. They wouldn't start another cycle until I saw her. Ended up being good...nice for once not being stressed over meds, etc. So going to a do an ERA cycle to make sure I'm transferring at the correct time before we transfer my last embryo, or decide to do another retrieval. 

I get your frustration though, We've been trying for over 3 years. I've looked into adopting, my husband's company's owner actually adopted from a local place here. But they do it by income and would be between 40-50k. Sadly, doesn't seem outrageous now we at 30k in IVF alone not counting fertility stuff before it. My cousin adopting an amazing little girl. They got lucky, and someone they knew...knew a young girl that couldn't keep her baby so didn't have to go thru all the crazy forms of normal adoption. Only downside to adoption, it can come with just as much heartache and still not a guarantee. Hopefully, you're treatments work soon and you don't have to worry about anything else