Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: STM+ Check In [April]
Married March 2016
DD: born 7.22.16
DS EDD: 6.23.18
First Son - born 2013
Third Son - due June 9, 2018
The hospital where their LO will have surgeries should have information if one is nearby, or at least have other suggestions as I'm sure not the first family in this situation.
First Son - born 2013
Third Son - due June 9, 2018
They are both type A personalities and like to plan. Trying to reassure them that they will not be homeless or paying out the nose for a hotel.
First Son - born 2013
Third Son - due June 9, 2018
How far along are you? What size is baby?
29 weeks and 2 days - Pineapple
How old are your other children?
DD -7, DS - will be 5 on Monday.
How are you feeling?
I'm feeling super pregnant all of a sudden. It's like I hit the 3rd Trimester, and all the symptoms associated with the 3rd Trimester all started at the same time! I have heartburn all the time, My back is killing me, there is so much pressure on my pelvis it hurts standing up, and my dreams are so vividly crazy I can't sleep through them and they're so jarring that once I have a crazy dream, I can't go back to sleep. Needless to say, I'm exhausted!
Any Questions? Rants? Raves?
I want to enjoy this pregnancy because it is officially my last, but I'm struggling to enjoy it anymore. I'm trying not to wish time away and I have very little ready for the baby, so I need this time, but I'm so uncomfortable.
How do you plan on introducing your LO to your other kids?
I'm not sure how this will work. My in-laws are coming to town for the baby to be born, but I'd really like the big kids to have a chance to meet their baby sister before the in-laws come in. I wanted this last time too and it didn't happen the way I wanted. I need to be more clear with my wishes this time, but I just don't know how we will pull that off without offending my MIL because she'll want to be there when the big kids meet their sister too.
GTKY: What is one thing you are most looking forward to again with a LO? And least?
That sweet baby smell and the feel of baby's head on my cheek! I'm also really looking forward to seeing my older kids with their baby sister. My son is such a tenderhearted little guy and I know he's going to be the sweetest big brother to her. My daughter is so excited this time and that is such a change from the last time we went through this as a family! Obviously, I'm most worried about the sleep for me! I'm already pretty used to functioning on little sleep, but I know this will be even worse. DH has expectations that we are going to do all sorts of fun things this summer and be out and super active, and I'm just worried that he's going to be super disappointed in me for not being able to keep up. I'm must older this time than I was last time I did this and I don't think I'm going to bounce back quite as quickly. I keep bringing that up to him and he thinks I'm just making excuses. I hope he's right.
BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18
I think its because my labor didn't go anything like I expected, but it wasn't a traumatizing experience. I also attempted med free first time, but got the epidural after 36 hours. Beforehand I was really scared about the epi needle/cath/possibility of slowing down labor...but in the moment it was NBD. I had a vision of how I wanted the birth to go, but I learned that *for me* it didn't really matter once I had my baby in my arms (and we were both healthy). So my perspective this time is more "whatever happens happens". I'm also panicking more about leaving my toddler the first time so maybe that's blocking out the actual giving birth part...haha.
@jsl82 I couldn't agree more! I'm much more nervous about meeting all the needs of a newborn and a toddler!
@Austenista Did you write up any kind of birth plan? I did a really simple and short one (and I don't think anyone but the first nurse we had actually read it). On mine, I asked for a heplock and intermittent monitoring so I was only hooked up to monitors 20 minutes of every hour. One of my biggest fears was that trapped feeling! For me, having it written out and addressing it when I got there made it easier for me to ask, and not feel like I was going against medical advice.
Im 31 weeks today, CS scheduled on June 1st. DD will be 21 months when new baby comes. Lately she has gotten super attached to me where she goes around saying mama and cries if I can’t hold her. I don’t know if it’s normal attachment or if she knows there is a big change coming. Last night I was getting a drink and put her down and she threw a huge tantrum and hit her head. I’m worried about the transition with a new baby! I’m going to be limited with picking her up and how we snuggle for a few weeks due to the CS. Every day I talk to her about the baby in my tummy and she gives her a kiss and says hi baby but I know she still probably doesn’t understand that much. Whenever anyone hears how close they will be they give me one of those looks. Sorry the luxury of age/time wasn’t on our side. Sorry for the run on! As for how to introduce in the hospital I’m not sure. I really think if my mom brings her in she will freak out when it’s time to leave so we shall see.
32+4, some sort of armadillo
How old are your other children?
DS is 3.5 and DS1 is 21m
How are you feeling?
Hemmeroids have made an appearance which sucks but otherwise just achy and tired.
Any Questions? Rants? Raves?
I’m ready for this pregnancy to be over. Idk how my stomach is going to fit 6/7 more weeks of growth.
How do you plan on introducing your LO to your other kids?
We will have my parents bring them to the hospital once we are all settled in the recovery room. I feel like there were a bunch of people in our room when DD was introduced to DS which was great because we ended up getting a lot of great pictures from everyone.
GTKY: What is one thing you are most looking forward to again with a LO? And least?
Those tiny little fingers and toes. The way they are their backs when you pick them up. That sweet baby smell. I’m excited to see DS1 as a big brother. He’s such a sweet little boy, he’s going to make a great big brother. DD is excited to have a little baby around. Not looking forward to the lack of sleep or having two other little toddlers running around being loud all the time.
murraydog2008 - I'm not so much worried about the birth. I'm very much of the "whatever happens happens" mindset, and was last time too. My labor was only about 4 hours last time and I was 10cm when I got to the hospital. With that being said- I want to stay at home for as long as possible again but then I worry about waiting too long and not making it in time.
With that being said- if you've gone med free before from everything I've heard, unless the circumstances/position of the babe are much different, you can certainly do it again (what I'm going for this time).
BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18
First Son - born 2013
Third Son - due June 9, 2018
My fears around the arrival have more to do with juggling the feelings of everyone else. DD, DH, MIL, my folks (in case they aren't back from Europe when this all goes down) my sister, who is not speaking with my folks at the moment....
When DD was born, there was so much baggage, and opinions, and family weirdness. And then DH went to work 4 days after she was born, we had been home 2 days. And I had some lovely time to myself. This time he is talking about hanging around for 2 weeks after! WHAT? He is so impatient, and can check out when he is bored, that it makes me mad. Add in the post partum hormones, and it may be him I lose my isht on.
5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD.
3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice.
How far along are you? What size is baby?
28 weeks
How old are your other children?
6 and 4
How are you feeling?
Much better 99% of the time. I was so sick for so long I almost forgot what it felt like to not be throwing up or just plain drained.
Any Questions? Rants? Raves?
How do you plan on introducing your LO to your other kids?
They will come to the hospital to meet him, no special plans. We always talk about littlest brother.
GTKY: What is one thing you are most looking forward to again with a LO? And least?
The baby snuggles-most. Breastfeeding-least. It always makes me feel slightly trapped.
First Son - born 2013
Third Son - due June 9, 2018
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
@rnielsen321 my DH is taking two weeks off also. It should be interesting. Last time he had to go back to work before I was discharged and my mom took a month off to stay with me and help. I keep asking him if he’s aware that this won’t be a two week vacation to play video games and nap!!
29 weeks 3 days
How old are your other children?
5 year old boy and 7 year old girl
How are you feeling?
Tired and sore. Lots of pelvic pain. I wish I could get comfortable.
Any Questions? Rants? Raves?
If one more person comments on how big my stomach is I’m going to karate chop them!
How do you plan on introducing your LO to your other kids?
We are taking a hospital class to slowly get them used to having a baby around.
GTKY: What is one thing you are most looking forward to again with a LO? And least?
I’m looking forward to the little snuggles that my older kids don’t be do as much. I’m not looking forward to changing diapers.
DS: born oct 2012
TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18
fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
DS: born oct 2012
TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18
fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
DS: born oct 2012
TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18
fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD.
3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice.
im hoping that bc DD was induced at 41 weeks maybe that means I won’t go earlier?
So this probably seems silly but part of my anxiety about going into labor before the date is not getting one of my preferred doctors. My last c-section one of the doctors left placenta in me so I had to have a D and C 8 weeks later. And two of the other doctors have some really crappy bedside manner. So that leaves 4 that I like and I’m scheduled with one of my two favs lol.
First Son - born 2013
Third Son - due June 9, 2018
I'm hoping that he comes around 38 weeks like his sister did- and I'm relieved that STM labor is typically shorter than FTMs since I was in labor at the hospital for 18 hours. I want my epidural nap, but a 6 hour labor (with a 4 hour nap since it is the last time I will get to sleep for 4 straight hours for a while) seems pretty ideal to me. Oh if only these LOs would labor exactly as we are hoping.
@katie121209 I completely hear you on wanting one of your favs- and making sure LO comes when they are scheduled. With DD we did the normal tour de practice of our OB office, and liked most of the doctors- except for one. When we called the on call Dr was one of my favs, but because my labor continued for another 18 hours we go stuck with the one I didn't like. I understand that there were 10 births - of which 5 were c-sections that day. And he had performed just finished a c-section, but when he came into my room as they were prepping me to start pushing, he sat (more like slumped) in the chair like he was going to take a nap. Sorry but I would like to feel like my delivery is important and deserving of your attention too. Nothing was wrong with the actual delivery- but bedside manner is so important. We are in a new practice this time, and so far I have only seen 2/3 of the doctors... and like them both. FX that we both get doctors we like this time. Also, getting worried about the nurses on duty when we are there. With DD I liked all my day nurses but HATED the night nurse. I almost care more about the nurses than I do the doctor, since I'm with them longer.
BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18