@austenista@kfren first, @kfren, I can't understand how you are still carrying DS1! My H carries DS still (30 pounds), but I stopped a few months back when it just got to be too much. I've been trying to train DS1 that he can't be carried all of the time (which I feel guilty about, because one day he won't want to be close to me!).
Have any of you thought about or started buying "sibling gifts" to give from the new baby when they meet? I'm torn on what to get. I feel like a little baby doll or toy or something would be appropriate for her because she would enjoy it...but I also feel like it should be something sentimental that she can keep forever...but she will only be 23 months at the time so there isn't much that I could get her from a sentimental perspective that she would remotely care about. Do I do both? That seems excessive. I'm likely way over thinking this.
@marcus7676 I'm assuming it's the grace of God that is allowing me to carry him still. Plus, I get a little sad thinking about him not being my youngest baby in just a few short months. I feel like I just recently really got used to him being around.
@kmurdock925I just bought DS a baby doll as part of his Easter basket. He was very enamored with one at our sprinkle the other day and I found one on Amazon that looked as much like it as I could find. I was planning on getting him his own baby eventually anyway to see if that helped when I brought a real baby home. I haven't given it to him yet, but I'm hoping he likes it as much as he liked that one at the fellowship hall.
I have thought about getting him a little something for when baby is born. Mine's so young though, I don't know if he needs me to do that. I think it's more me wanting to do that for him. I have a lot of separation anxiety built up about being away from him, not being home to read him his bedtime books, make his food the way he likes, kiss him 1000x like I do right now, while I'm in the hospital that I'm trying not to dwell on.
AFM, I don't know if I'll have a favorite kid. Right now, it's obviously my 16mo over inside baby. I'll report back honestly on this subject once there's two. I can see as they get older having one that is easier to have a relationship with or relate to, etc. IDK. I don't want to have a favorite.
@kmurdock925 I've thought about sibling gifts a bit- I feel like for DD that probably won't even understand the gift is from the baby I want to give her something to keep her busy when I'm busy with DS. Things like coloring books or a movie maybe. I've also thought about maybe getting her a bubble lawn mower- since hopefully winter will not return in late may/ early june (it feels like this year it could happen). I'm also planning on having them "give" each other sibling shirts- ones that say big sister and little brother- maybe matching maybe not.
1) Its amazing to me how small the littles seem and then once you have a newborn, you realize your little is actually huge. DD was 2yo when DS was born so it was a rude awakening thinking that she's so tiny and adorable to "omg, she's actually really big!"
2) We aren't doing baby gifts to the older kids. I do think though that in a few weeks, we'll have the kids help us pick out a stuffed animal each, for the new baby, so they can give him a gift. We'll probably get them one too, but it won't be from the baby, as much as a way for them to be apart of getting ready for him.
Yeah, I feel like I already have a lot of mom guilt regarding the new baby. My first reaction when I got the positive test was that I was betraying DS because he's my baby (he had just turned one)...I actually starting crying. Then I felt guilt towards the new baby for not being over the moon like I had been with her brother. Silly, but real, emotions!
I do wonder how he'll feel once my attention is divided but everyone says he will adjust. What other option will he have? LOL. It just might be a challenge for us all...No multi hour netflix binges while nursing like I could do with him.
And I do think it is really neat that he will always remember her being in his life
@kmurdock925 I bought DS some stuff “from the baby” - kinetic sand, water wow books, puzzles. I wanted some stuff to keep him busy quietly. DS wants to pick out a stuffed animal for the baby. I’ll let him bring that to the hospital to give the baby when they meet.
I was standing in the line at Sam’s club yesterday while DS was freaking out I had to put him down and I had a huge wonder how the hell im going to go in public with a 3yo, almost 2yo and a newborn.
Re: favorite kid, I don’t really have one. They are so different right now that I love very different things about them. DDs imagination is amazing right now and DS is still so sweet and cuddly.
@dinodna3 I've had that same fear lately. And DH's work schedule means he's gone for two straight weeks a month so I'll have no choice but to shop alone with the kids at times. My plan so far is to baby wear the baby and stuff DS into the cart and hope that DD doesn't throw a fit.
Yeah, DD will be 23 months when this one is born so I doubt she will grasp the concept which is while I'm wondering if I'm totally over thinking this. I just don't want her to feel like she is a side note with everyone oogling the new baby. I'll probably get a baby doll or something small, and I liked the idea that some of you mentioned about letting her pick something for the new one. Maybe I'll give my mom some cash and have her let DD pick something out at the gift shop to bring to the baby.
@dinodna3 and @May14th2011 I'm also praying this LO likes to be worn- I can't imagine chasing around DD/ playing in the baby pool/ect. while holding the LO. I feel like she is going to still be mostly oblivious to his presence in our house once he arrives- she will only be 17 months old. I'm also completely unsure how I will continue to hold/ carry her for the next 2 months while pregnant & how I will hold them both once LO is here. I'm also planning on doing a lot more online ordering of everything and anything- I'm going to start using grocery delivery and when I need to run out for one thing I will be just put both kids in the shopping cart or hopefully find a drive through (we have Swiss Farms here so I can drive through for milk, bread, eggs, ect).
What I'm really scared about is coming back to work in September and getting myself and 2 small humans out the door. How? I struggled when I was just worried about me- I barely make it work on time with DD.... DD, DS and Me?!?! Never going to be on time again.
@jsl82 Hopefully your employer is really understanding. I make it in on time maybe twice a week. Maybe. On Sunday nights, I set out everyone's clothes for the whole week. I try to keep easy breakfast items on-hand (cereal bars, pop-tarts) as my kids inherited my a.m. hangriness. I try to keep coats and shoes as close to the door as possible. All this preparation, and only sometimes does it work. Most of the time, my tardiness is caused by a last-minute potty break for DD or a last-minute #2 from DS. Sometimes, I just drag a** because I'm tired AF. You will ease into a routine, I promise. Go into it planning for the worst but expecting the best. If you get concerned later on, talk with your boss. As long as they can see that you're making an effort, they should at the very least be understanding about what you're going through.
@jsl82 That's one of my bigger concerns when I go back to work at the end of August. How do I get myself, DD and DS out the door on time? DH leaves for work between 3:30-4:00 AM. DD will be in first grade but I usually have to keep her moving in the morning or she moves at a sloth-like pace getting ready. We settled on an in-home daycare provider within blocks of DD's school and I'm planning on moving my hours at work from 8-4:30 to 8:30-5 in order to give me a little wiggle room in the AM.
all of you adjusting from 1 to 2 kids.....the struggle is real. Our older 2 are about 2.5 years apart. Our daughter was the light of our world and the center of our universe. Bringing little brother into the picture was a real challenge for us. It was a pretty big adjustment for each member of our family, but I can relate most closely to what @jsl82 is saying about her DH loving being a dad to a daughter so much that he just can't imagine bonding with a boy. That EXACT scenario happened in our house. And I'm not gonna lie - it sucked. It was so hard. And I felt like I had to over compensate and "love" our son more because Daddy was struggling so much with it. My over compensating only made it worse though. It kind of forced us into teams against one another instead of a united front loving our kids together. Now that we have all survived 5 years as a family of 4, I can say without hesitation that my husband adores our sweet boy and they are really good buddies. And even though things started out a little rough for my daughter and son's relationship, they are best buds now and both of them are looking forward to baby sister joining our family. We will see how they adjust to mom being more distracted and having less time for them.
@murraydog2008 thanks for your honesty about it! Like the other ladies it’s been on my mind a lot lately too. I know it’s not going to be all sunshine and rainbows to start but I can’t wait to see the relationship between siblings as they get older!
@murraydog2008, Thanks for the heads up. I am a little worried about this as well. Hopefully it is a normal second time parent thing. I love my son so much that I almost can't imagine loving his sister the same way. I do have two older step sons that I love, but it isn't the same as DS. I attributed that to the fact that they are only with us part time, and they are much older now. (15 and 13) their own lives and whatnot, but when I think about it I love them differently as well. They are two different people with two different personalities, needs, and wants. I am hoping that this is the same for DS and DD. I would hate to think that I am this awful step parent who doesn't love her step kids the way they should be loved. I also don't want to be this smothering mom to by son and in the process hurt my daughter.
I will say that my DS is excited about his sister. He talks to her and hugs my belly and tells everyone sister is his best friend. Sister also loves her brothers laugh and voice. When DS starts laughing and talking she gets wiggly like she wants to play too. I think he is going to be a little disappointed when she comes out and can't walk or play with him.
Can't lie ladies, I had a wee breakdown on Friday sorting through all the little sweaters DD used to wear when she was little. (They were mine, knitted by my grandma, over 40 years ago) I wore them, my sister wore them, DD wore them and now we are having another wee one. I did the whole : "how were you ever that small" cry.
I am just excited to meet this one, when he comes. But still cannot begin to fathom how my world will change for our wee family... Too overwhelming to try.
Mama to a wonderful DD - Sep 2015, Wife to my DH since 2011, 2 dogs, a cat, and hoping to add No. 2 in May/June 2018. Canadian. 5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD. 3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice.
Re: STM+ Check In [March]
I have thought about getting him a little something for when baby is born. Mine's so young though, I don't know if he needs me to do that. I think it's more me wanting to do that for him. I have a lot of separation anxiety built up about being away from him, not being home to read him his bedtime books, make his food the way he likes, kiss him 1000x like I do right now, while I'm in the hospital that I'm trying not to dwell on.
AFM, I don't know if I'll have a favorite kid. Right now, it's obviously my 16mo over inside baby. I'll report back honestly on this subject once there's two. I can see as they get older having one that is easier to have a relationship with or relate to, etc. IDK. I don't want to have a favorite.
BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18
2) We aren't doing baby gifts to the older kids. I do think though that in a few weeks, we'll have the kids help us pick out a stuffed animal each, for the new baby, so they can give him a gift. We'll probably get them one too, but it won't be from the baby, as much as a way for them to be apart of getting ready for him.
I do wonder how he'll feel once my attention is divided but everyone says he will adjust. What other option will he have? LOL. It just might be a challenge for us all...No multi hour netflix binges while nursing like I could do with him.
And I do think it is really neat that he will always remember her being in his life
Re: favorite kid, I don’t really have one. They are so different right now that I love very different things about them. DDs imagination is amazing right now and DS is still so sweet and cuddly.
What I'm really scared about is coming back to work in September and getting myself and 2 small humans out the door. How? I struggled when I was just worried about me- I barely make it work on time with DD.... DD, DS and Me?!?! Never going to be on time again.
BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18
You will ease into a routine, I promise. Go into it planning for the worst but expecting the best. If you get concerned later on, talk with your boss. As long as they can see that you're making an effort, they should at the very least be understanding about what you're going through.
I will say that my DS is excited about his sister. He talks to her and hugs my belly and tells everyone sister is his best friend. Sister also loves her brothers laugh and voice. When DS starts laughing and talking she gets wiggly like she wants to play too. I think he is going to be a little disappointed when she comes out and can't walk or play with him.
I am just excited to meet this one, when he comes. But still cannot begin to fathom how my world will change for our wee family... Too overwhelming to try.
5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD.
3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice.