I'm taking the bury my head in the sand approach at the future sleep situation. The big kids are in the room right next to where the baby will be and I know that when we get to the sleep training phase, she will wake them up. But there really is no other place to put baby in the house other than the room next to theirs. In the beginning, she'll be in with us and waking us up every night instead of them.
Baby will room with us until he sleeps through the night, maybe a little longer depending on how early that happens. Then he'll go in with DS. We'll see how that goes!
We have a 2-br. house, so I have no idea how this is all going to work once DS2 needs to move to the crib. Not one clue. Moving is not an option, either. We have two small rooms in the attic that we now use for storage, but I think DD is still way too little to be up there alone, and it's about as far from the bathroom as one could possibly get. I keep telling myself we have time to get this figured out but, it also feels like I just found out I was pregnant, and here I am with less than 15 weeks to go.
Our 2 kids (3 abd 18 mos.) did well room sharing on our beach trip last summer. I think only because they were so wiped at the end of the day.
Other adventures in room sharing at hotels or on trips have been an all night party that doesn't stop. Giggles and peek-a-boos and throwing stuffed animals to each other...
We'll see with #3 how it goes. Our plan is to have this baby share with sister who'll be 21 months older and still in a crib.
@llamamama14 will you be getting a second crib or are you planning on transition your 18 month old before moving LO into her room? Our DD is 14 months old and still in a crib but since we are planning on having LO in our room for a few months we are delaying buying a new crib as long as possible in hopes that she just wants to start sleeping in a bed instead of crib.
We already had two cribs. (DS was still in a crib when DD was born.) I keep 'em in as long as I can.
Having both in cribs is also the only way I'd safely have a baby under a year room share with a toddler sibling. (I'd worry about big sibling putting something in baby's crib or climbing in.) Though we'll have to see how DD is about climbing out of her crib. DS never climbed out, only in, so we didn't worry about them room sharing on vacations when DD was a baby. Now that DD is 18 mos. and DS is 3 I don't worry about them. DS was pretty physical and eager to give things to his baby sis. (He stuck a roasted almond un her mouth when she was 1 month old...)
Completely makes sense... DD/ DS will each have their own room (assuming we stop at 2) so I'm hoping to avoid the second crib... been looking at the Montessori toddler beds as an option that will still feel like a crib, and be low to the ground in case she still falls out. Adding a second is so much harder with all of the decisions I have to make for DD while trying to prepare for this LO (really just making list).
Oh, yeah if you're not room sharing you could transition earlier. Though DS did stop napping as soon as he moved into his big boy bed so I still lean towards cribbing it as long as possible lol.
I've always thought those Montessori beds are cute. We did a twin mattress on the floor for DS from 2.5 yrs to 3.5 yrs and he loved it but wanted a little extra coziness so we turned his old crib on it's side and slid the mattress into it and draped a blanket over the crib to make a little cave. He loved it. Wasn't as cute as the little Montessori houses but it did the trick.
Toddler issues! DD is finally doing really well with going potty in the toilet, however poop is a huge problem. She’s been holding it for 3-4 days until I give her prunes to get things moving again. I’m also trying to stop laying with her til she falls asleep- I regret starting that habit and only did so to try and get her to sleep in her bed rather than on the floor. She still wakes up later during the night and moves herself to the floor anyways so I don’t know why I bother. So instead of falling asleep with her I’m telling her I’ll cuddle for a few minutes and then I have to leave so she can sleep. Her new tactic? OF COURSE it’s that she “has to poop” as soon as I’m done cuddling and try to leave the room. Then we have to play the bathroom game, still no poop, and start bedtime all over. *sigh*
@2589 what do you mean start bedtime over? DS does the bathroom game too, but afterwards he gets back in bed one quick hug and kiss and then we are out. We are having a major poop issue too. DS (3) doesn't want to go in the potty. He wants to go in his pants either at bedtime or nap time so it doesn't count as an "accident" Today we had success but stubbornness is strong with that one. If you figure it out let me know.
@Xtabbikatx ugh it basically involves corralling her back to her room, she’s not ready for the lights off again, thinks I should read her another book, wants to tell me about a hundred different things, begs me to cuddle again... I probably need to give her a few nights of tough love to get through this- like you said a hug and a kiss and leave the room.
@2589 How old is she? It took a while for DD to stop pooping in her pull up at bedtime after sitting on the pot for x amount of time. We gave her books to read. If it felt like a stalling method, we set an egg timer.
Maybe I'm a mean mom? I never let bedtime drag out. My 5yo tries and I end up just leaving and letting her be upset, if she is (which is rare now, thank goodness). My 2yo is great and just lays down with no issues. I have tons of friends though who sleep with their kids, or let their kids sleep with them. To each their own. I made it my hill to die on though, lol, I need my own bed and quiet time.
@May14th2011, I don't understand how people sleep with their kids. On the rare occasion I have too (traveling) neither one of us gets good sleep and I usually wake up with a kid on top of me or knees and elbows in my back. It is the the worst.
@starla487 she’ll be 3 in July. She’s only been interested in potty training (for pee at least) for about 1 month so the whole thing is fairly new. I’ve tried letting her watch a video while she sits on the potty, to try and get her to poop, but then it’s like she forgets to really try? Idk. She’s super strong willed so I’m not sure my best way around this yet. @May14th2011 and I used to have no problem letting her be upset with me for putting her to bed! We never bring her to our bed either, and I never stay wit her the whole night, just leave once she’s asleep. I swear this pregnancy has made me soft- because back in November I was heartbroken over the thought of her sleeping on the floor instead of her bed so that’s when I started this, I’ll lay with you until you fall asleep business. Now I just need to cut it off. It’s not going to work with a newborn in the picture.
She started getting out of her toddler bed to sleep on the floor in front of her doorway in July just after her 2nd birthday. Never have figured out why it started. Seriously thought it was just a phase. In November we moved her across the hall to her big girl room with our old queen bed to see if that would make a difference. Well, 8 months since it started she still prefers to sleep on the floor. It drives me nuts but I don’t know what else to do to get her to stay in bed. And once she’s asleep I usually never need to go back in there. It’s just the bedtime routine that has spiraled out of control! Is it wrong just to let her sleep on the floor until she chooses her bed?
@2589 when I was in college I babysat for my cousins a lot - and I remember when my cousin transitioned to a bed he would get out of bed and sleep on the floor of the closet. My aunt was asking all of our relatives for advice- and finally decided he probably felt more comfortable in the smaller space- and just neeed some extra time to adjust. She made the closet as comfortable as possible with blankets and pillows- and he never got out of bed to sleep in the closet again. Sometimes they just need a little extra time- and sometimes they just do think to f$@k with you. If you stop making a big deal and let her sleep on the floor, she will probably start sleeping in the bed- eventually
I don't think it is wrong. Maybe when she is a little older and can tell you why she doesn't like her bed you can address it. Right now, let her do her thing.
@2589 I agree with the others. If she is sleeping, LET HER SLEEP. DD will be 4 in July, and is strong-willed, too, and one thing I've noticed with her is that she sometimes has to feel like things are her idea in order to go along with them. As far as potty-training goes, I started sitting her on the potty just to get her used to sitting on it, and reading potty books just after her second birthday. She didn't really take it seriously until her 3rd birthday, which is when I finally got the energy to follow through with PT. Being a big girl became a huge deal for her and once I started consistently pointing out the differences between babies and big girls, she buckled down. I'm glad we didn't push her and feel that she knew when she was really ready.
Have you read Oh Crap Potty Training by chance? There is a section on poop struggles, but since it’s still kind of new for her, I’d give it some time. Even sitting with her and practicing “grunting” and bearing down might help. Or, if she decides pooping her pants is preferable, we would often run her to her potty mid process. (But, D’s pooping tells were obvious.)
@2589 I would let her sleep on the floor if she wants. She has the choice to sleep on the bed, if she doesn't want to, that's okay. It's not like you're making her sleep on the floor. My friend's kid slept under her bed for the first 6 months, lol.
@2589 when DS was refusing to poop in the toilet, I'd watch for cues and then rush him to the toilet. It took a few days, but we eventually got poop in the toilet and we made a huge deal out of it. Tons of cheering, praise, calling DH, etc. After that, he started going on there more often.
I just the other day got him to go in a big toilet, at the grocery store. I'm sure they thought I was crazy for the amount I was cheering lol.
@starla487 thanks, I’ll have to look into that book! @May14th2011 so the first few times I noticed her pooping in her underwear we rushed to the potty chair but then she would just freeze up and never finish going- and then we got into the cycle of holding it for several days until I’d give her something to make her go again.
ETA: She is just a very tough nut to crack. I had to stop trying to even talk about potty training in order for her to decide to start doing it- for the peeing part anyways. I have a feeling I will have to end up just stopping mentioning the pooping thing for her to decide to go for that on her own too.
May14th2011 same on not wanting to share my bed space with a toddler! To each their own but I need my space...sleeping with a kiddo sounds like sleep torture.
From what I've gathered from talking with my friends it seems as if sleeping on the floor is a fairly common thing when transitioning. We'll be making the switch to a big girl bed pretty soon so I'm anxious/nervous to see how it goes.
@kmurdock925 maybe we just got lucky twice, but we went from crib to twin beds, on a regular sized frame, and neither kid slept on the floor or fell out of bed. Neither kid even cared that we transitioned. We moved DD at 2.5, when DS was born. We moved DS at 2yo, several months ago. Of course, now that I'm jinxing it, this baby will come and be the difficult one, lol.
I would let DD sleep on the floor, if she would SLEEP!! We have graduated to 2 wake ups a night. She slept through at 8 weeks people. Until she was 15 months. Now she is 30 months, and we are back to new - newborn stage. Except she can walk out of her room, and can throw a fit with some force. GAH!!! Some nghts she is great getting to bed. Bath bottle book bedtime. No problem. This routine just won't stick.
She is going to be going through a transition at daycare... Daddy works midnights and she has clued in that if she times it right, she gets to see him, and well, Baby Brother is around. I literally had to rock her like a baby last night. I didn't even soothe her that way when she was a baby. Le Sigh.
Mama to a wonderful DD - Sep 2015, Wife to my DH since 2011, 2 dogs, a cat, and hoping to add No. 2 in May/June 2018. Canadian. 5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD. 3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice.
STM+ I need some advice. Our cat was out all night the other night, and unfortunately was struck and killed. my 2 yo ... what do I say to my 2 yo? Right now I am thinking we quietly remove litter box, food dishes, toys... and follow her lead. She hasn't said much, or really asked for him...
Mama to a wonderful DD - Sep 2015, Wife to my DH since 2011, 2 dogs, a cat, and hoping to add No. 2 in May/June 2018. Canadian. 5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD. 3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice.
@rnielsen321 Our puppy died in October. I'm not sure our 2yo even noticed anything. I just put up most of the puppy stuff when he was sleeping, and didn't say anything to him. My 5yo was much harder. I'm so sorry for your loss.
@rnielsen321 I’m so sorry. We lost our other cat in September, that had been DD’s best friend since birth, most likely to some of the predatory wildlife in our area. I was also very worried how she would take it.
I think you’re right on with removing his items as inconspicuously as possible. I removed any pictures of him that were visible to her and asked other family members to try not to mention him. She didn’t ask many times, but when she did I just told her that he doesn’t live with us anymore. At 2, I’m not sure how ready they are to get into the death thing? Good luck!
@rnielsen321 While I haven't had to explain a death in real-time to DD, most of my family is deceased and I have had to explain that to her. My advice to you would be to follow her lead and maybe not even say anything, unless prompted. Then, if she asks, be honest with her (if you feel comfortable.) I did a lot of research in one of my psych classes about children and their ability to grasp the concept of death. Most research I found said not to use euphemisms (Heaven, passed away, etc.,) as that just ends up confusing them since those ideas are kinda abstract. I tried to explain to DD in terms she would get, while being as factual as possible. While I don't think she completely understands, I think she does know that it is a permanent state and that it isn't always (subjectively) a bad thing.
@rnielsen321 I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost my older cat when DS was six months, so I haven't had to explain anything yet. I'd probably follow her lead and not say anything unless she asks.
@rnielsen321 I am so sorry for the loss. Personally, I have no advice other than what was given. I'm not even sure what we would do because DD is obsessed not only with our dog, but dogs in general. I think you have a great approach of putting away its things, and then addressing it if/when arises. Hugs
Me: 28 | Husband: 39 Married March 2016 DD: born 7.22.16 DS EDD: 6.23.18
@rnielsen321 Oh no! Sorry. No direct experience. My friend's bunny did recently just die and they were pretty direct with their 2 year old about it. He now comes up to me and matter of fact tells me "Our bunny died." He's taken it in stride. He was closer to 3 than 2, though. I think a young 2 is very different developmentally than an older 2. I would take into account your LO's memory and ability to process in deciding whether to have a direct explanation vs. not addressing it.
@rnielsen321 I'm so sorry for your loss. DD is only 14 months old- so still lives mostly in the world of "out of sight out of mind". I think if this LO has a bad cat allergy I would be able to quietly pack up the cats and give them away before she really noticed- and she LOVES those cats (they are terrified of her). If your 2 yo isn't asking for the cat, you might be able to remove the cat items without any real issues.
We lived with family for a little over a year - DS was about three months shy of 2 and my MIL’s cat passed away. DS and that cat were inseparable so I was worried how he would handle it. But he only ever asked once or twice and we told him he got sick and wouldn’t be living with us anymore. We did what others have said about inconspicuously removing the cat items and making sure nobody mentioned said cat around DS. It went better than expected. Hoping the best for y’all
Thanks for your support and advice guys. She will be home from daycare shortly, and we have removed all cat toys, food, dishes, etc. So we will see how this goes.
Mama to a wonderful DD - Sep 2015, Wife to my DH since 2011, 2 dogs, a cat, and hoping to add No. 2 in May/June 2018. Canadian. 5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD. 3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice.
Re: STM+ Check In [March]
Other adventures in room sharing at hotels or on trips have been an all night party that doesn't stop. Giggles and peek-a-boos and throwing stuffed animals to each other...
We'll see with #3 how it goes. Our plan is to have this baby share with sister who'll be 21 months older and still in a crib.
BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18
Having both in cribs is also the only way I'd safely have a baby under a year room share with a toddler sibling. (I'd worry about big sibling putting something in baby's crib or climbing in.) Though we'll have to see how DD is about climbing out of her crib. DS never climbed out, only in, so we didn't worry about them room sharing on vacations when DD was a baby. Now that DD is 18 mos. and DS is 3 I don't worry about them. DS was pretty physical and eager to give things to his baby sis. (He stuck a roasted almond un her mouth when she was 1 month old...)
We transitioned DS at 2.5 yrs.
BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18
I've always thought those Montessori beds are cute. We did a twin mattress on the floor for DS from 2.5 yrs to 3.5 yrs and he loved it but wanted a little extra coziness so we turned his old crib on it's side and slid the mattress into it and draped a blanket over the crib to make a little cave. He loved it. Wasn't as cute as the little Montessori houses but it did the trick.
@May14th2011 and I used to have no problem letting her be upset with me for putting her to bed! We never bring her to our bed either, and I never stay wit her the whole night, just leave once she’s asleep. I swear this pregnancy has made me soft- because back in November I was heartbroken over the thought of her sleeping on the floor instead of her bed so that’s when I started this, I’ll lay with you until you fall asleep business. Now I just need to cut it off. It’s not going to work with a newborn in the picture.
BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18
DD will be 4 in July, and is strong-willed, too, and one thing I've noticed with her is that she sometimes has to feel like things are her idea in order to go along with them.
As far as potty-training goes, I started sitting her on the potty just to get her used to sitting on it, and reading potty books just after her second birthday. She didn't really take it seriously until her 3rd birthday, which is when I finally got the energy to follow through with PT. Being a big girl became a huge deal for her and once I started consistently pointing out the differences between babies and big girls, she buckled down. I'm glad we didn't push her and feel that she knew when she was really ready.
I just the other day got him to go in a big toilet, at the grocery store. I'm sure they thought I was crazy for the amount I was cheering lol.
ETA: She is just a very tough nut to crack. I had to stop trying to even talk about potty training in order for her to decide to start doing it- for the peeing part anyways. I have a feeling I will have to end up just stopping mentioning the pooping thing for her to decide to go for that on her own too.
May14th2011 same on not wanting to share my bed space with a toddler! To each their own but I need my space...sleeping with a kiddo sounds like sleep torture.
From what I've gathered from talking with my friends it seems as if sleeping on the floor is a fairly common thing when transitioning. We'll be making the switch to a big girl bed pretty soon so I'm anxious/nervous to see how it goes.
Of course, now that I'm jinxing it, this baby will come and be the difficult one, lol.
She is going to be going through a transition at daycare... Daddy works midnights and she has clued in that if she times it right, she gets to see him, and well, Baby Brother is around. I literally had to rock her like a baby last night. I didn't even soothe her that way when she was a baby. Le Sigh.
5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD.
3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice.
5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD.
3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I think you’re right on with removing his items as inconspicuously as possible. I removed any pictures of him that were visible to her and asked other family members to try not to mention him. She didn’t ask many times, but when she did I just told her that he doesn’t live with us anymore.
DS: born oct 2012
TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18
fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
I did a lot of research in one of my psych classes about children and their ability to grasp the concept of death. Most research I found said not to use euphemisms (Heaven, passed away, etc.,) as that just ends up confusing them since those ideas are kinda abstract. I tried to explain to DD in terms she would get, while being as factual as possible. While I don't think she completely understands, I think she does know that it is a permanent state and that it isn't always (subjectively) a bad thing.
Married March 2016
DD: born 7.22.16
DS EDD: 6.23.18
BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18
We lived with family for a little over a year - DS was about three months shy of 2 and my MIL’s cat passed away. DS and that cat were inseparable so I was worried how he would handle it. But he only ever asked once or twice and we told him he got sick and wouldn’t be living with us anymore. We did what others have said about inconspicuously removing the cat items and making sure nobody mentioned said cat around DS. It went better than expected. Hoping the best for y’all
5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD.
3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice.