Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
tessiesmom26
member
Re: Weekly Randoms w/o 3/12
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
There are pros and cons to each, I think. With the weekly check ins, you'd be conversing with people who have a similar due date and are in a similar phase of their pregnancy, which most seem to think is beneficial. But I think with how busy some of the due date check ins have been, it's hard to get to know people since it's such a large group.
Thanks for your feedback @argyleagain ! Yeah, I noticed that a lot of BMBs have been switching back to ticker changes. Honestly, I like the idea of the due date check ins a bit better, but I think it all depends on the group so we'll just have to see what works for us. Ticker changes may work better so we don't have such large threads. I'll wait to get a bit more feedback here before changing the organization thread, just so everyone's on the same page.
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
ETA: Also, I really don't think it's that important to talk to 50 people who are due in the same week you are. You'll inevitably have a couple who are close to your EDD in your ticker change.
This is why I was pro-ticker change from the start!
Me: 31, possible PCOS and Septate Uterus (Septum removed in November 2017)
DH: 31, MFI (Low Count and Low Motility)
July 2017 - IUI #1 - Letrozole 2.5 mg, no trigger, Prometrium 100 mg 2x a day - BFN
August 2017 - IUI #2 - Letrozole 2.5 mg, no trigger, Prometrium 100 mg 2x a day - BFN
September 2017 - IUI #3 - Letrozole 2.5 mg, no trigger, Prometrium 100 mg 2x a day - BFN
November 2017 - Uterine Septum removed
December 2017 - IVF Consultation
January 2018 - IVF #1 - Retrieval 1/24 - 2 Day 3 embryos (1 transferred fresh, 1 frozen) and 2 Day 5 embryos frozen
February 2018 - Fresh Transfer - Transfer 1/27 (1 day 3 embryo) - BFN
March 2018 - FET #1 - Transfer 3/2 (1 day 5 embryo) - BFP! 1st beta (10dp5dt) - 101; 2nd beta (17dp5dt) - 3061! Due 11/18/2018
March 2018 - Remaining embryos lost in malfunction.
October 8, 2018 - Son born at 34 weeks and a day due to preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome. Spent 13 days in the NICU.
June 2019 - IVF #2 - Cancelled - Cyst on Ovary
July 2019 - IVF #2 Take 2 - Retrieval 8/1 - 5 Day 5 embryos frozen
August 2019 - FET #1 - Cancelled - No Trilaminar Lining
September 2019 - FET #1 - Transfer 9/25 (1 day 5 embryo) - Chemical Pregnancy - 1st beta (9dp5dt): 110; 2nd beta (14dp5dt): 357; 3rd beta (16dp5dt): 188; 4th beta (23dp5dt): 7
November 2019 - FET #2 - Transfer 11/6 (1 day 5 embryo) - BFN
December 2019 - FET #3 - Transfer 12/11 (1 day 5 embryo) - BFP! - 1st beta (8dp5dt): 102; 2nd beta (15dp5dt): 2636! Due 08/28/2020
August 13, 2020 - Son born at 37 weeks an 6 days due to failed BPP (Gestational Diabetes).
Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
Check out my Infertility blog
Check out my Infertility Instagram
BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
Met with OBGYN in January 2016
Me: all clear, H: OAT
November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo.
BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two!
Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
ER#2 ~Jan 2019
9yo DD - born 12.15.08
MMC - 3.2.15 @ 10 Weeks
MC - 6.19.16 @ 6 weeks
BFP - 3.9.18 EDD - 11/13/18
On a lighter note, today is day 2 of potty training my 3 year old. Send me all the good vibes
Dx: PCOS
DS1 born 11/2014
DS2 born 11/2018
3 previous losses
Rainbow baby due 12/2021 - Team Green
As for potty training- DD is not there yet and I don't even want to think about it. Good luck! lol
Dx: PCOS
DS1 born 11/2014
DS2 born 11/2018
3 previous losses
Rainbow baby due 12/2021 - Team Green
As for potty training...it is the wooooorst. It took a long time for DD to catch on to pooping on the potty. It seemed to help when I talked to her about what poop is. I explained that when she eats food, her body uses it to make her grow big and strong, but her body can't use all of it, so the rest comes out as poop. Her day care teacher said that some kids have a huge difficulty with it because they don't understand what it is and they feel like they're losing a part of their body. So I talked to her over and over again about what it is. Good luck to you! It really is the worst, so just try to have has much patience as possible. And buy tons of extra undies so you don't have to wash out all the dirty ones!
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
(I'm not that smart guys. Obviously lol)
SS stands special snowflake, which is a person who makes a separate post for something that should be posted in an already open thread. For example, all the threads currently on the board with questions that could’ve been posted in the questions thread or app suggestions that could’ve been posted on the Randoms thread.
TOU stands for terms of use and refers to The Bump community rules.
I'm gonna have to start using that one.
If you are interested in the 3 day book, I can sort through my emails and try and find my old PDF copy to send you.
Monday I had my HCG level drawn (5w1d). Today my OB office called and said my number is in range for where I am according to my LMP but because they're low they are having me redraw on Monday again. This means I have to wait a week from today to make sure everything is progressing and I think I might drive myself crazy with worry. I had my levels drawn 4w5d last time and didn't need a redraw so of course I'm kinda thrown.
1. That is so nerve wracking, I’m sorry!
2. I might’ve accidentally reported your comment and I don’t know how to unreport it. I am so sorry if I did!
@CopperBoom86 - YES to all the SS!! I love me some snark! My last bmb was SO rainbows and unicorns for the most part it was crazy compared to most bmbs.
RE: potty training - we are trying to stick to the 3 day potty training online book I read. Today is day 3. He woke up dry and no accidents yet, so we'll see how the rest of the day is. The problem is he hasn't pooped since we took off his diaper Monday morning... we'll see how that goes, but other than that I think he's been doing great! We're going to attempt the zoo with some friends tomorrow so we'll see how he does outside of home.
Dx: PCOS
DS1 born 11/2014
DS2 born 11/2018
3 previous losses
Rainbow baby due 12/2021 - Team Green
Me: 33 DH: 38 Married: 1/10/15
1st Pregnancy EDD: 1/1/17 Born 1/10/17 Team Green turned Blue!
2nd Pregnancy EDD: 11/6/18 Born 11/09/18 Baby Boy!
3rd Pregnancy EDD: 12/?/21
Children are like casseroles; it takes a lot to mess them up.
@Gingersnap_mama - Hope you're hanging in there this week