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TTCAL - March 12th

ChloandCocoChloandCoco member
in Trying to Get Pregnant
**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and / or stillbirth may be mentioned.** 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: What's your favorite flower and why?
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Re: TTCAL - March 12th

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  • clbnessclbness member
    Wasn't able to participate much last week due to work.  I hope everyone had a nice weekend!

    @prpl11butterfly I'm sorry you had to hear that news during this rough time.  I hope your post op results are great and you're able to go have fun on that summer vacation with a sticky bean in tow.  <3

    @maureenmce I'm sorry you're dealing with an announcement too...it's rough.  But I'm glad your foot is feeling better!  

    @ChloandCoco I'm glad the weather has helped your mood out...it's amazing what a little sunshine can do!

    Status: Still WFAF.  It's been over 5 weeks since my MC.  I've never wanted my period to show up more in my entire life.

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?  It's still been very up and down.  One of our groomsmen announced their pregnancy on FB Friday and they are due in September, the same month I was due.  It would have been so fun to be due around the same time as his wife.  Also, the IL's came to visit us this weekend and DH and I went out to Texas de Brazil Friday night for a date night (yay!).  Something I ate upset my stomach and I was sick all day Saturday (boo!).  MIL had the nerve to ask me if maybe I was still pregnant and the doctors got it wrong.  I was fucking dumbfounded.  Yeah, I've been going in for blood tests for the past 5 weeks and my hcg keeps getting lower, but SURE, I'm still fucking pregnant.  GTFOH with that shit.  Sorry, end ragey rant.  A positive to my week though, was the presentation we gave to our corporate office on Wednesday went very well and they are so pleased with the operations of our Denver branch...yay, us! 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Last weeks hcg levels went from 53 the week before to 30 and I have another draw this Friday.  I'm so hoping it goes down to below 5.

    GTKY: What's your favorite flower and why?  I love the look of Stargazer lilies, but they smell so bad!  I love African violets because they remind me of my Grandma.  I even have them tattooed on the top of my foot.
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker


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  • lin0442lin0442 member
    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. Not new. 1 13th wk loss 5/16, a CP 2/18. Nothing diagnosed yet. 

    Status: WTO, CD8

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Things are going okay; I’ve been keeping busy and it’s mostly taking my mind off TTC (to whatever extent that’s possible). I “just” have that background worry that it’s never going to happen. Rant: They’re saying we’re getting 10-16” of snow tomorrow and I have to try to schlep to work anyway. Ugh, I can do my job from home, just let me do that....

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Yes! I have a hysteroscopy scheduled on Wednesday, meeting a new GYN on Thursday, and an RE consult on Friday. Phew! They’re trying to rule out a septum and determine if I have more uterine scarring than the HSG let on.

    GTKY: What's your favorite flower and why? I like buttercups. I used to play outside a ton as a kid- they remind me of laying in the grass and watching the bugs. For ‘real’ flowers- I like ranunculus and peonies, they have SO many petals!

    @maureenmce Impending anniversaries are really hard. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself, and try to remind yourself that if you aren’t pg for it, you *can* get through that. I understand where you’re coming from, though, I’ve passed a few :( 

    @prpl11butterfly Sorry about dealing with your SIL’s announcement. It’s tough to not get a heads up. 
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  • Kath525Kath525 member
    @maureenmce it's so hard to hit those milestones. Try not to put too much pressuree on yourself (I know that's wayyy easier said than done!)

    @prpl11butterfly ugh. Family anouncements are just soo hard. Sorry you're having a rough time with it. I understand 100%.

    @ChloandCoco good for you for not putting yourself in a situation that you weren't up for that day. 

    @clbness wow. Just wow about your MIL. Sorry she doesn't have a clue. I would have snapped.

    @lin0442 wow! Lots of appointments! GL with them all! I hope you like your new Gyn!

    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
    ttc since 1/17. CP 3/17. NMC 9/17. Nothing diagnosed yet. We're playing the waiting game.

    Status: WTO CD 7

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
    I am sick which stinks. But my eczema is clearing up which rocks! DHs birthday is today, 31! I am kind of glad ovulation is still a week away. I'm not mentally prepared for the TWW and then most likely another disappointing visit from AF. Sigh.
    Any testing coming up/any recent results?
    No.... Blargh 
    GTKY: What's your favorite flower and why?
    Tulips. They're pretty.
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  • maureenmcemaureenmce member
    @ChloandCoco ***TW TFAS mentioned That is starting to become an issue with my J16 moms group as well. If a successful pregnancy doesn't happen for me in the next 6 months I'm probably going to bail on that group too. end TW**

    @clbness I really hope AF shows up soon! I know it can be SO hard to wait after a loss. Also, WTF to your MIL??? That is ridiculous and awful that she would ask you that.

    @lin0442 I love all of your flower choices. :) And thanks, I've been trying really hard to imagine passing the milestone without being pregnant and practicing being okay with that. It's tough but I'm going to keep working on it. I'm sorry you've passed a few. :(

    @Kath525 Glad your eczema is clearing up and happy birthday to your DH!


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  • lokibear89lokibear89 member

    Introduce yourself and anythinig you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. mmc in October with d&c

    Status: tww cd23

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I am 6dpo and that means a hell of a long time before I can test and see if this month is the month (or at least it feels like a hell of a long time). On the flipside day of today and H decided to stay home with me. Looking forward to vegeing out with him.

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? will test when AF is due 

    GTKY: What's your favorite flower and why? love a kowhai tree and the yellow flowers and the tuis that hang upside down to get the nectar from them.

    @prpl11butterfly that is so hard, it can often feel like everyone is pregnant. The H had to apologise to his uncle (more like a cousin) for being distant but he is due when we were and he just couldn't for a while.

    @maureenmce I fully get the due date thing. I was talking to my sister about my own deadline and started crying

    @ChloandCoco I love tulips to get them to work where I live you have to put the bulbs in the fridge for a while.

    @clbness people can be so insensitive. I swear after I found put about my mmc I hoped every day it was a mistake and that somehow it would all be fine.

    @lin0442 good luck with the hysteroscopy, hopefully you get some answers (and solutions )
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  • lokibear89lokibear89 member
    Missed one... 
    @Kath525 hope you feel better soon and glad your eczema is clearing up 
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  • ChloandCocoChloandCoco member
    @clbness I would have torn a strip off of her if I was in your shoes. That is the last thing you should say to someone going through a loss. So sorry you had to go through that.
    @lin0442 Good luck with your hysteroscopy and appointments this week! I hope you get some answers. Peonies are one of my favorite flowers too.
    @kath525 Being sick really sucks. I hope you can take some time off and get better soon.
    @maureenmce My DH asked me this weekend why I was still friends with them. Which is a valid question and I might consider leaving the group if we keep having losses.
    @lokibear89 I hope you enjoy your 'veg' day with your DH. Also, I hope the next few days passes by quickly for you!
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  • ChloandCocoChloandCoco member
    edited March 2018
    @holly321 Congrats for getting off the bench!!

    *edit typo
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  • maureenmcemaureenmce member
    @holly321 Yay for being unbenched!!! I'm so happy for you. I know it's been a long, long wait.
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  • prpl11butterflyprpl11butterfly member
    @holly321 that's so exciting!!!! 
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  • lokibear89lokibear89 member
    @holly321 yay for getting off the bench!
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  • ChloandCocoChloandCoco member
    @coco2787 Sometimes it's good to break down and let it all out. It might be time to just ask your DH or a friend to listen so you can tell them how you are feeling. I'm sorry you feel like this, it's a hard place to be in.
    @kindbytealikat Feel free to let it all out. We are here for that. This whole process is overwhelming and to add everything else on top makes it hard to keep going.

    I have a question for the ladies taking progesterone supplements. How much were you prescribed daily and how often do you take it? My OB prescribed 200mg (suppository) taken once a day at bedtime.
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  • KabazabaKabazaba member

    Last week's thread blew up when I was having a down couple of days, and wasn't able to catch up -- sorry for everyone's posts I missed!

    @prpl11butterfly Sorry you're having a hard week! It has felt kinda like an emotional roller-coaster. FX you are pregnant before summer and, if not, that you and DH can take a fun vacay sans SIL this year.

    @maureenmce **hugs** to you for this upcoming anniversary. Hoping you can get back to lunch time walks in good weather soon!

    @chloandcoco Yay for warmer weather and making good decisions for yourself!

    @clbness - WOW. I am so sorry about your MIL. It does not help ANYTHING to say that, and is so upsetting - like, don't you think if there was any change I would be all over that? 

    @lin0442 - FX the hysteroscopy, new gyn, and RE appointments all go well!

    @kath525 - Happy birthday to Mr. Kath! (And glad the eczema is clearing up.)

    @lokibear89 - Have fun having a relaxing day with DH at home - those are my fav kind of days :) Also, I had never heard of a kohwai tree - those flowers are beautiful.

    @holly321  - YAY for not being benched.

    @coco2787 - Grief can be very hard to process, including knowing how to act in the world when it keeps turning and no one else seems to notice that some things have been changed/lost forever. I've struggled in the past with feelings of being dead inside -- not depressed, just nothing, which is actually worse in some ways than feeling something, even sad. You will probably still have a sticky baby and the family you've dreamed of. But, the grief you're feeling now for that is still real. You should feel free to break down and express those emotions. Sometimes I cry on my way home, because that's easier than crying in front of my husband; sometimes I run or go to boot camp and wear myself out; sometimes I go to therapy. I encourage you to find something that helps you with your grief. If it helps to talk you are welcome to PM me.

    @kindbytealikat - I am like you with flowers, I can probably identify less than 10 flower types. It sounds like you have a lot going on right now, I hope things start calming down and you're able to get some down-time.

    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. - 1 loss, MMC followed by emergency D&C at about 10 weeks.

    Status: NTNP, not officially benched but no idea when I'm going to be ovulating post-D&C so waiting until after my first cycle to try tracking anything.

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I am a family lawyer and the last week, dealing with other people's custody issues and general whininess, has been much harder than I anticipated for whatever reason. I had a client yell at me for about 5 min about how I'm not a mom, I'll never be a mom, I won't have a full life because I'm not a mom, I don't and won't have any children, and because of that, I cannot possibly understand A, B, or C totally relatable human issues. I have another client who has been repeatedly asking me about my 2-day "medical emergency" (D&C after lots of lost blood and MMC), even after a partner told her I was out due to miscarriage. So... that's my huge rant. My rave is DH. He's always wonderful, but has been so incredibly supportive since the MMC. The other day I thanked him for hanging with me instead of his friends and his response was along the lines: I want to be here, this happened to me too, I also lost a baby, and it's made clear to me how much you mean to me and how much I want a family. I died in that moment.

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? No.

    GTKY: What's your favorite flower and why? Blue bonnet - displaced Texan who believes there is nothing more beautiful than a field of blue bonnets. I will pull over any day, no matter where I'm going, to stop and take pics in a stranger's field.

    Me: 36 | DH: 41 | Married: 9/29/07 | DD: December 2018 | BFP: 2/1/21, EDD: 10/6/21
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers


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  • prpl11butterflyprpl11butterfly member
    @Kabazaba that was really great of your H. Sometimes it's hard to know how they are feeling. He sounds like a keeper for sure. I don't know how you handle family law. It's tough. I'm pretty rough on our family lawyer and he just takes it. But don't worry, you will be a mom someday, hopefully soon :heart:
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  • KabazabaKabazaba member
    @prpl11butterfly No one goes to a family lawyer cause they're having a good day (ok, some people do: shout-out adoptions and prenups). But most clients can be rough on us and it's fine. Just hard when dealing with my own family-related issue.
    Me: 36 | DH: 41 | Married: 9/29/07 | DD: December 2018 | BFP: 2/1/21, EDD: 10/6/21
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers


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  • prpl11butterflyprpl11butterfly member
    @Kabazaba you can cross adoption of that list. At least in our case lol. But our case is is different then most. So I've been told.
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  • ChloandCocoChloandCoco member
    @galactickates I agree, when the app opens and the login page on the website are hard to look at. 
    @Kabazaba Sounds like you are having a super hard work week. I hope the next few days go better.
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  • prpl11butterflyprpl11butterfly member
    edited March 2018
    @galactickates no joke, I was just opening the app and thinking how that picture should be changed. It's really insensitive to those who have not had successful (or any) pregnancy. 

    You'll get to hold a little, hopefully sooner then later :heart:
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  • maureenmcemaureenmce member
    @galactickates Ugh, yes, I feel you. The ad in the bottom right hand corner of my screen, for the last two days, has been pregnant ladies with time lapses of their bellies expanding and it SUCKS. Hugs to you.
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  • lokibear89lokibear89 member
    @galactickates thank you for voicing a long held opinion.  I teared up looking at those fecking feet on a bad day. Surely they could do a different pic for those set to ttgp 
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  • galactickatesgalactickates member
    @lokibear89 I had felt that way since my loss. Just hearing everyone agree is extremely validating
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  • coco2787coco2787 member
    My next 8 week internship for school is at a hospital that delivers babies and does ultrasounds and I had to go in today to get a name badge and get some paperwork, and in the 5 minutes I sat in the lobby I saw so many pregnant women, new babies, and happy couples with ultrasound pics.  Luckily I'm working in the psych department so once I get to my area of the hospital I'll be safe, but I don't think I'll ever get through a full day there without seeing a baby or pregnant woman.  
    Me: 35  H: 35
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022 
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  • galactickatesgalactickates member
    @coco2787 definitely a victory!  I can just imagine being on edge the whole time while you are waiting.  It sucks that we have to go through this.  I hope everything goes well. Keep us updated 
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  • ChloandCocoChloandCoco member
    @coco2787 That is a small victory! FX it's quick and you get good news!
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  • prpl11butterflyprpl11butterfly member
    That's good for your mind for sure. Hope everything goes well.
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