I Mustache You A Question (2/25)

izza2 · February 2018

What burning questions do you have this week?

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/q5/fbtmkwcbn66l.jpeg

stephcat421 · February 2018

Has anyone drank red raspberry leaf tea in preparation for the big day? Or does anyone plan to give it a try? Wondering which brand you found good/effective?

lisa2589 · February 2018

@stephcat421 I did. I’m not sure what the brand was because I got it from our local specialty tea shop so it was loose and they put it in a canister for me. My OB was okay with once a day after 37 weeks and upped to twice a day at 39. With the expectation of using it to help tone the uterus so that contractions are organized and effective when they start- for anyone who hasn’t heard of this, I just want to throw out a disclaimer that this is NOT a method for actually starting contractions or inducing labor. I do think it may have helped tone my uterus- but I really have nothing else to compare it to. Basically, my contractions started about 30 minutes after my water broke because it was trickling so slow I wasn’t even sure that’s what happened, and BAM they started and they were 5 minutes apart from the very first one and strong enough that I had trouble relaxing and talking through them.

edit: tag

May14th2011 · February 2018

@stephcat421 I did. I ordered yogi red raspberry leaf tea off Amazon. My midwife said it was fine to start around 30 weeks, since it doesn't actually induce labor. She said the only time it can cause problems is during the first tri.
I don't know how well it helped, I ended up with a csection for unrelated reasons.

silvergreen · February 2018

@2589 @May14th2011 I started drinking it last Wednesday (once per day). I remember reading that you shouldn't drink it in the first trimester, but both of your doctors recommend significantly later. I think I might stop just to be in the safe side?? I've been using the Traditional Medicinals brand.

May14th2011 · February 2018

@silvergreen I think it's just because that's when I asked her about it. I know a lot of people use it in the 2nd tri.

lisa2589 · February 2018

@silvergreen yeah I didn’t ask about it til super late last time! I’m actually glad this came up so I can remember to ask him at my next appointment.

silvergreen · February 2018

@May14th2011 @2589 Thanks for clarifying! I might ring my OB on Monday and see what they think. I've cut out all caffeine except chocolate (if that counts) so it was nice to be able to enjoy a cup of black tea again!

@stephcat421 Not sure as to the credibility of the following source, but this website has some compelling info on red raspberry leaf tea, and recommends Traditional Medicinals for bagged tea and a brand called Frontier for loose leaf tea: https://www.mamanatural.com/red-raspberry-leaf-tea/

stephcat421 · February 2018

@2589@may14th2011 @silvergreen thank you for sharing! I did buy the traditional medicinals brand last night but like most things was a little hesitant to start it. Like you said @silvergreen it's a little nice adding a new drink into the fold! I'm looking forward to sipping on tea again!

I'm really hoping it prepares the womb but I guess I won't know the difference so as long as there isn't side effects, I think it's a good thing even as a placebo!

I'm glad to know it's not too early to start it either!

doxiemoxie212 · February 2018

I drank red raspberry tea while TTC, stopped for first tri, started again (though not everyday) at like 15 weeks. I have been trying to drink a cup a day now that we’re getting close to third tri and will try to drink two a day once we’re in third tri. I really like the taste and have never been able to tolerate caffeine so it’s a happy tea for me. I drink traditional medicines brand.

dinodna3 · February 2018

What week do you consider the start of the third trimester, 27 or 28? The internet says both.

jsl82 · February 2018

@dinodna3 I am going with 27 weeks. I had been sick during January and with the flu season being so bad this year was googling when the baby would be viable if I had the flu. The internet said at 27 weeks there is a 90% chance of survival. Luckily it wasn't the flu- but it's been my goal week since reading it.
Also so if you take 40 weeks and divide by 3 trimesters each is 13.3333 so 27 weeks would be the start.

Just need to get through the damn glucose test at 26 weeks first.

silvergreen · February 2018

@dinodna3 I use https://www.yourduedate.com/ for reference. If you put in your projected due date then it generates a "Pregnancy Timeline" at the bottom of the page.

katelynrae86 · February 2018

@stephcat421 like others have said, I drank 1-2 cups a day throughout the third tri (traditional medicinals brand). I also ate 5 or 6 dried dates...I read somewhere that they had a similar effect. Annnd...I had a 40+ hour labor (with help from pitocin because I stopped progressing). But I will say my recovery was very quick/smooth if that has any correlation (?). My OB said it was perfectly safe (after first tri) but her opinion was that it didn't help one way or the other. I will probably do it again this time, 'cause it can't hurt

LaceyBee522 · February 2018

@stephcat421 I did the same as @doxiemoxie212 and drank it while TTC. I have not started drinking it again, but thanks to this reminder, I think I'll start. I liked it generally.

LaceyBee522 · February 2018

@silvergreen Thank you for that link! I seriously appreciate that they include projected due dates for twins! It is so hard to find info like that.

izza2 · February 2018

I consider third tri to start at 27 weeks, because I don't want to wait another whole week to say I'm in the home stretch.

Impatient over here.
But, I love that Due Date site! I used it early on and loved reading through to see when LO would start school/graduate and do all those fun things!

dinodna3 · February 2018

@silvergreen Thanks for that link! I don’t know when I conceived and my due date got moved up a week from my LMP after my NT scan, so I’m going with 28 weeks. One more week!

marcus7676 · February 2018

I'm the opposite of @katelynrae86. I ate 6 dates per day for the four weeks leading up to my due date (same effect as RRL tea). My active labor (4-8 cm) was 45 minutes, DS arrived on his due date, my water broke at 8 cm. But my recovery was awful.

I'm not eating dates this time and I'm going to avoid the tea.

jsl82 · February 2018

@silvergreen I just checked out that link and it says I have 99 days left of this pregnancy... EDD is June 5th- so we are all starting to get to the 100 day mark. Just seems like an exciting so finally be in double digits.

silvergreen · February 2018

@jsl82 I know!! So exciting!! But I'm honestly crapping my pants at the same time whenever I think about actually having to give birth. It's unknown territory and I'm sure everyone feels the same way with the first, but...

lisa2589 · February 2018

@silvergreen if it makes any sense I’m really excited to give birth again. Yes it’s still scary and I remember how painful it was, but even weeks after having DD I remember thinking, I hope I get to do that again someday. It was elating and I became very proud of what my body can do.

silvergreen · February 2018

@2589 Totally hope to feel the same way! Honestly, the best way to calm myself down is to just look around me at everyone with multiples. If Michelle Duggar can do it 19 times I'm sure I'll live, lol!

MissKittyDanger · February 2018

@silvergreen My H and I were driving past the hospital I'll be giving birth at and it was like "uhm 15 weeks and I'll be there trying to shove a baby out .... ACK WHAT THE HELL!" cue minor freak out

Austenista · February 2018

@silvergreen It helped me to know what I needed. Some people like to analyze what's going to happen and know every single detail down to the moment of what is going to and what could happen and that helps them cope. Then there's me. I know that the less I know the happier I am because I overthink and it triggers anxiety. So I deliberately don't take birthing classes or read overmuch about childbearing. When I was in the hospital they'd be like "do you want us to talk you through the epidural?" Nope, just do it. "Do you want to talk about what will happen for the C-section?" Nope, just do what you gotta do. Someone else would be the opposite and feel 100x better to know what was going on every moment.

Identifying what you need is really helpful so you don't get overwhelmed. I do have some things that happened last time that I've got on a list that I would not like to happen this time - very simple things, really. Like last time because my baby went to the NICU, I went into recovery by myself without my DH (he stayed with the baby) and I just sat there in my bed for a long time without knowing anything about what was going on and wondering where everyone was - no one told me I was in recovery or really talked to me at all during that whole time frame. That was not good, and so I need to let them know to please not do that if I go through something similar this time.

It's just good to be armed with what you want and don't want. I prefer that over a generic birth plan. Being induced before my body was ready to labor (pre-e) made my birth plan completely worthless. No matter what they did I would not dilate past 4cm and DS was born with a softball sized knot on the side of his head from unsuccessfully trying to pass through, poor buddy. Someday (FB?) when we show off our kids I'll show y'all that picture of him at birth with that knot. But I digress. So instead of a birth plan, I'm just going to make a list of expectations for what if scenarios. "If it goes this way, I want this to happen and not this," etc. That's going to help me relax and be the most comfortable as anyone possibly can be in that situation.

silvergreen · February 2018

@Austenista You and I sound similar. I'm a highly anxious person, and I think I benefit more on the 'ignorance is bliss' side of things when it comes to situations like this. I'm anxious either way - but usually when my anxiety gets the better of me and I try to equip myself with the information I think I need, then I come away feeling even more anxious than I was before.

ETA: words.

doxiemoxie212 · February 2018

@Austenista @silvergreen meanwhile I’m over here tackling my anxiety by basically trying to become an obstetrician before baby is born lol

as if everything will be fine if I can just know every complication, every treatment option, etc, beforehand. If I feel like someone isn’t telling me something I straight up panic.

kmurdock925 · February 2018

2589 - I felt the same way after my first! I remember when I was preg with my first one of my friends had her 2nd and she was telling me about how she was so excited to give birth, yadda yadda. I thought she was nuts (she also doesn't have easy labors) but I totally get it now.

@austenista - I don't have high anxiety but I'm in the same boat as not wanting too much info or having too much of a plan. My philosophy is the less of a plan I have (obviously be generally informed) the less I can be disappointed or upset when things don't go "right". There is next to nothing you can control with birth...I personally can't plan for the unexpected and I don't want 500 contingency plans

silvergreen · February 2018

Seriously, have you guys seen The Bump's birth plan thing to fill out? It's like six pages and I'm like "omg, I don't even know what half of these options are!" I was totally "go with the flow" and then I thought it may be a good idea to take a look at it (https://www.thebump.com/a/tool-birth-plan). I was wrong, lol.

elsie42 · February 2018

@silvergreen holy crap that is intense. So many of that stuff I feel like I can't fill out right now? Like how will I know before I'm in labor what I want to be doing? Maybe sitting feels good but maybe standing will feel better? I know I want an epidural but other than that I have no idea how to answer most of those questions without actually experiencing it.

May14th2011 · February 2018

My friend went in with 6 different plans, one for every scenario she could think of. The doctors looked them over, but ultimately none of them got followed, or at least not to the extent she wanted. She was/is furious over it, but she has no medical experience, and was basing major medical decisions off of google so...
She had it detailed down to which meds she wanted in every situation. It seems a little over the top to me.

silvergreen · February 2018

I think this is all I need to communicate:

Yes, give me the drugs
No, I don't want to know what you're doing during a c-section
MH does not want to cut the cord

Honestly, I think I'd be happiest being under anesthesia during a c-section just because I'm that freaked out about blood/surgery (it's a phobia I've had since childhood), but I don't think the father is allowed to be with you if you choose to go under and I don't want to be that selfish. Probably something I'll ask about anyway. I've been told you go into mama-bear warrior mode and the squeamish things won't bother you if a c-section is deemed necessary.

krash_ · February 2018

I feel like birth plans get a bad rap because of the people who go in with 6 pages of "demands" and have zero flexibility. We are making a birth plan and I am very excited about it. First of all, it's one page of quick bullet points. Second, the first thing it states is that if mom and baby are healthy then these are our preferences. Third, it has a brief section for in case of cesarean or other complications. Fourth, it stresses that I trust my care providers and I respect their role. Lastly, it makes me feel less anxious knowing what I really want is written down.

I hate when I hear medical professionals scoff at birth plans because "it never goes according to your plan." But what if it does!?! Or maybe it doesn't follow it exactly but you still get some of the things that were important to you? Maybe mothers would feel less PPD over births that didn't go according to their plan if at least some of their preferences were achieved and they felt like they were listened to a little bit.

Don't tell me that something that will give me peace of mind for the most emotional, stressful, and amazing experience of my life is useless.

End rant.

sunshineandwhiskey · February 2018

Re:birth plan, if i decide to not RCS, will be something like this:

"I prefer to give birth without any interventions until seen necessary, and discussed with myself and my husband. I accept an IV, to administer antibiotics for being GBS positive, and also a spinal block if a RCS is needed. My hope is for my husband to cut the cord, as well as skin-to-skin after birth, with the intent to breastfeed. An open and honest dialogue, with all staff and personnel, and the ability to trust is of utmost importance"

aharv77 · February 2018

@sunshineandwhiskey @krashke Both of those sound absolutely perfect. Mine will follow similar format. I didn't have one with DD and don't remember discussing with my OB at all. Just to get baby out as safely and as quickly as possible for both of us!

MoonOverGoldsboro · February 2018

@krashke This is coming from someone who never even got the chance to give anyone a copy of her birth plan the first time around: I loved filling out a birth plan (we also had a great one-pager that came from our doula), and I will do it again this time. It made me feel happy and excited and empowered. I agree with the sentiment that you don't want to be married to a type of birth experience, since it may very well go awry. But I find birth plans very useful--even if you never get to use them!

Man, I am feeling weirdly emotional today and am really hoping so hard for great birth experiences for all of us June moms. A buncha good eggs in this group!

ramennoodlegif · February 2018

@silvergreen I know not all hospitals have the same rules about c-sections, but DH was allowed to be with me during mine. He said it was the scariest thing he has ever been through. I just remember feeling like I was sitting on ice. I labored for 18 hours to try to avoid a c-section, mainly because I was terrified at the idea of sticking a needle in my spine. After 3 hours stuck at 8cm with no progression, I got over it pretty quickly.
What you heard is right; you just get in the "do-what-you-gotta-do" mode with the doctors.

silvergreen · February 2018

I get the vibe that some care providers probably feel that their patients don't trust them when they go in with 6 pages of requests/demands, and are probably less likely to take them seriously. I thought about taking the 6-pager in to my OB to discuss all of the options but I'm pretty sure they'll brush me off with "things never go to plan" kind of comments. I could always try it in a couple of weeks and report back.

MissKittyDanger · February 2018

Heads up, excuse the wording because I'm not 100% how to word this so others understand.

I have anxiety. There have been times I've been in mid-meltdown mode and my H has had to yell at me to listen {not angrily, more like "HEY! LISTEN! STOP FREAKING OUT" etc} and it's not that I'm ignoring him - or anyone else - it's just, I legit can't hear anything else. I'm focusing on whatever the issue seems to be at the time.

I am going to talk to my OB about that being a thing, but has anyone else experienced this during delivery?

May14th2011 · February 2018

@silvergreen I get being freaked out by it, but having had two, I wouldn't even know they were doing anything if I didn't know. They put up a big sheet so I couldn't see anything.
DH sat my head and we just talked the whole time, and then someone handed me a baby, lol. I think it took like 10 minutes. Obviously if you have a phobia, that doesn't take it away, but if you do end up with a csection, it's fairly quick and easy (At least during the actual csection, recovery is a different story lol).

llamamama14 · February 2018

@MissKittyDanger A close friend has anxiety and during her first labor she felt like the doctors weren't communicating. Her perception was she was just wheeled away to the OR for an emergency c-section without anyone telling her what they were doing or why. Her husband told her after that they were talking to her but she just didn't take it in.

Maybe your husband can try to be sensitive to your anxiety and make sure you're really taking in what the doctors are telling asking you. (Forgive me if this is not helpful.)

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