Another one who’s husband never goes to appointments. I’m excited that he’s coming to my anatomy scan on the 28th! He owns a small business and has no employees so it’s hard for him to leave (or justify leaving). It takes us longer to get to the doctors and back that it does for the actual appointment so I don’t mind that he doesn’t come.
Although. I was sent straight to the hospital from an appointment to be induced and he wasn’t with me and I was a little bit hysterical about that lol. (She’s fine, and was fine- low fluid and I was over due)
I did CIO too. DS was/is a good sleeper, I’m sure that at least helped. He never did cry for a long period of time though, I’d say max 15 min, and not even hysterically. Around 2 he started banging his head on the crib when he got overly upset so I put a stop to that.
@zg49 DH didn’t come to most of my appointments last time around. Not sure what he will do this time. (He came to the first and will come to the anatomy scan next week, and that’s all we’ve had.) honestly I was totally fine with that because as everyone mentioned they’re kind of a waste of time when your low risk. However *TW* I had one appointment around 7 months last time where the doctor had a hard time finding the heartbeat and had to call in someone else to try. They ended up finding it and everything was fine, but in that moment I REALLY wished DH was there.
I did modified cry it out for my own anxiety sake. I the interval check in's of 5 than 10 than 15 it was helpful now apparently my toddler needs to relearn it ugh stupid sleep regressions
My husband came to all my first babies appt except at the end when it was every week mostly because I didn’t know what to expect, wanted him there and he wanted to come. This time he came to the first and will come to the anatomy scan but that’s it. I record the heartbeat for him at appts but would much rather he spend that time working.
Switching things up...food ones are boring so I wait until I actually have an UO to comment...HERE GOES NOTHING!
I do not understand waiting to see what a baby *looks like* when they are born before deciding a name...I think babies/people look like whatever name they are given. They grow into it, it becomes a part of them and you can’t imagine them being called anything else. Also babies looks change SO MUCH those first couple of days and weeks...I don’t get it. *This does not apply to people who don’t have any ideas about what to name their child and pick last minute.
+1 to CIO and we also did the interval checks. I definitely think it's a big reason why DS is such a good sleeper. I can see why some people don't like it or can't handle it but I can tell the difference in the way DS cries. If it's escalated, I'll go in and make sure he's ok. Most of the time he's just making noises or throwing his pacis on the floor to get us to come in. And once you sleep train once, it does get easier if/when you have to do it again.
We don’t spank either. Both DH and I were spanked as children...not often but some. While we’re perfectly normal adults with no violence issues, I just can’t get behind the logic of it. I tell DD at least once a week that she can’t hit me just because she’s upset with something that’s happening (nap time/leaving the park/etc). How can I then turn around and hit her when I don’t like how she’s behaving? I know each kid is different so I don’t judge others who do, it just doesn’t make sense to me.
Also, I mean this completely respectfully, but I’m confused when several of you say it’s not physical violence or it’s not done to inflict pain. Hitting a person is physical violence by definition. Sometimes violence is socially acceptable (in sports, and depending on your opinion spanking), but it’s still violence. And the whole point is to deter the bad behavior by instilling pain, right? Again I don’t mean disrespect, it genuinely doesn’t make sense to me.
We did CIO - took two days and she never cried hysterically (that I remember ). She is a great sleeper now!
we spank occasionally if all other disciplines are not working. Mostly we talk through things. We have rules about spanking. We can’t spank if we are disciplining because she hit/bit - however she doesn’t do these things. We do t spank when we are angry or frustrated.
Each kid is different. Time out does not work for my daughter but we tell her to go up to her room until she can calm dow. And then we talk abut it after.
@tarheelgirl8 I agree with the pain thing, I thought the point of spanking was to deter the child from doing something bad because they don't want to experience that pain again. Would be interested to hear from the perspective of one of those who said they don't spank to cause pain.
@BrittG13 guilty! We just could not commit to a name before we met our son. I will never be able to explain it, it was just a feeling. We had a list of names and one certain list was at the top, but I swear, from the second I laid eyes on him, I knew what his name was - and it was one of the names on the bottom of our list. When I said it out loud to my H as they handed him to me, H said he was thinking the same thing. I have a feeling I wont commit to a name until I meet this one as well.
@BrittG13 agreed! It’s weird to me too. One of my friends has a name picked out that everyone loves but she says she just cant decide until she’s born. Why not? You love it, your H loves it? Everyone else loves it (which isn’t important but it helps)
Modified CIO worked really well for DD when we did it at 4.5 months but she was already demonstrating the ability to self-soothe by crying (like in the car seat on rides). DS didn't seem ready that early and we finally did CIO at about 18 months old. We will aim to do the modified CIO no later than 6 months old with DD2-- It's easier when they are smaller.
@flockofmoosen3 no kidding when you say it’s easier when their smaller. We did it at 9 months and it was hard cause he could already get up and walk around holding in to the rail! I seriously say do it before they can walk.
zg49 yea - with my first my husband missed the NT because he was too busy at work - he made all the other big appointments and 1-2 of the non-big just to meet other dr's. We had a couple false labor trips to L&D he joined me for as well. But he also never makes it for pediatrician visits. Sure her first ones, but I don't think he's been to a well check in forever and he's only done 1 sick visit by himself. We both have big jobs but mines a little more flexible so I can leave for these emergency trips. Really wish he was there last Tuesday when LO had an ear infection and I had an emergency cardiologist appointment same day. He made up for it a bit coming home from work yesterday to take care of DD while I was puking up everything for 12 hours thanks to a stomach bug.
My UO - i hate people touching the bump. This week i got my first unsolicited bump grab this pregnancy - yup still hate it. DH's aunt - the kind of relation you get cheek kisses and a shoulder pat on hello and goodbye. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean you can just reach out and grab my stomach and say how big I am and i'm going to be huge. Why do people lose all sense of boundaries because a woman is pregnant??
@gingerbride26 Sorry about the unsolicited bump grab. I'm dreading that. Have a huge personal space bubble to begin with, and I've noticed the bubble is growing right along with my bump. Generally people leave me alone anyway because I have ultimate resting bitch face (DH loves it in a crowd because people get out of my way). But I know the time is coming where people lose sense of boundaries. I already have this shirt in my dresser from before pregnancy, and just ordered it in a couple more sizes to accommodate bump growth
@gingerbride26 I think that has to be a popular opinion. Haha. There is a shirt that says “if you didn’t put it there, don’t touch it.” and I NEED it!! Mil is the worst. We don’t hug ever and when I’m pregnant she constantly goes in for a belly touch. My bil tried to touch (at like 15 weeks!!) and I grabbed his hand and said that to him! He was shocked, but come on. If I wasn’t pregnant you wouldn’t be touching me, let’s keep it that way!
Regarding spanking.... all kids are way different. I have an extremely active, strong willed toddler. I reserved spankings for serious offenses, jumping off of high furniture, etc. She LAUGHS at me when I do it and it literally had no effects on her. She would just keep doing whatever it was that we are trying to deter. A month ago or so she didn't want to go with me to the store so she slapped at my leg and told me "stop it mama!" After that I decided that it's just not working and causing issues, so I am just not doing it anymore if I can help it.
Regarding CIO, I don't agree with it when they are little, but I used it after a year and it was a life saver for me. She sleeps great in her own bed (except this last regression). I was against it at first, but there was no other way I could have survived weaning and it wasn't even that bad for her... she cried maybe 10 minutes tops at the start before settling in. Once again, CIO worked on our first to help wean, but the next may not work...
Pictures of yourself starring off into the distance. I don’t get them. I just watched two girls taking pictures of their other friend for like 5 mins. To top it off wearing silettos after it just snowed.
Re: UO Thursday
Although. I was sent straight to the hospital from an appointment to be induced and he wasn’t with me and I was a little bit hysterical about that lol. (She’s fine, and was fine- low fluid and I was over due)
Switching things up...food ones are boring so I wait until I actually have an UO to comment...HERE GOES NOTHING!
I do not understand waiting to see what a baby *looks like* when they are born before deciding a name...I think babies/people look like whatever name they are given. They grow into it, it becomes a part of them and you can’t imagine them being called anything else. Also babies looks change SO MUCH those first couple of days and weeks...I don’t get it. *This does not apply to people who don’t have any ideas about what to name their child and pick last minute.
Also, I mean this completely respectfully, but I’m confused when several of you say it’s not physical violence or it’s not done to inflict pain. Hitting a person is physical violence by definition. Sometimes violence is socially acceptable (in sports, and depending on your opinion spanking), but it’s still violence. And the whole point is to deter the bad behavior by instilling pain, right? Again I don’t mean disrespect, it genuinely doesn’t make sense to me.
we spank occasionally if all other disciplines are not working. Mostly we talk through things. We have rules about spanking. We can’t spank if we are disciplining because she hit/bit - however she doesn’t do these things. We do t spank when we are angry or frustrated.
Each kid is different. Time out does not work for my daughter but we tell her to go up to her room until she can calm dow. And then we talk abut it after.
@BrittG13 guilty! We just could not commit to a name before we met our son. I will never be able to explain it, it was just a feeling. We had a list of names and one certain list was at the top, but I swear, from the second I laid eyes on him, I knew what his name was - and it was one of the names on the bottom of our list. When I said it out loud to my H as they handed him to me, H said he was thinking the same thing. I have a feeling I wont commit to a name until I meet this one as well.
My UO - i hate people touching the bump. This week i got my first unsolicited bump grab this pregnancy - yup still hate it. DH's aunt - the kind of relation you get cheek kisses and a shoulder pat on hello and goodbye. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean you can just reach out and grab my stomach and say how big I am and i'm going to be huge. Why do people lose all sense of boundaries because a woman is pregnant??
Regarding CIO, I don't agree with it when they are little, but I used it after a year and it was a life saver for me. She sleeps great in her own bed (except this last regression). I was against it at first, but there was no other way I could have survived weaning and it wasn't even that bad for her... she cried maybe 10 minutes tops at the start before settling in. Once again, CIO worked on our first to help wean, but the next may not work...