Little kids cursing is NOT cute. I keep seeing videos posted of toddlers dropping the F bomb and stuff and people are all "lol" and "aww." Also, constant cursing around kiddos is not ok. No it doesn't make you look cute or funny you look super trashy and you're pushing your trashiness on to your poor kid.
@runsomewhere agreed! If it’s an accidental thing as they’re trying to pronounce something similar I can see it being funny initially. But don’t keep reinforcing it and getting them to say it to be “cute”.
I'm a potty mouth but I don't drop the F word every other word. I do think when they are little it is important to avoid cursing when possible while understanding that at some point they will be exposed to it and there will be nothing we can do about it haha
@runsomewhere I agree! Not setting a good example at all. Maybe my husband and I should practice not cursing so much...and when I say "my husband and I," I really mean it's mostly me.
@runsomewhere I agree! If they're told not to and they continue that's a spanking.
And that could be a UO, I won't mind spanking my children. I would never use a belt or severe punishment, but I'm totally ok with a quick pop on the butt.
Funny story about kids cursing (well funny bc it wasn't my kid). I worked at convenience store/deli in high school. I was working the register and this guy comes in with his maybe 2 y/o son. The guy puts his coffee on the counter and the boy tries to put his hot cocoa up, but he's just a little too short and it falls off and makes a huge mess. The dad instinctively says "oh sh!t" and the little boy repeats "oh sh!t" in this tiny little voice. I see the fear immediately take over the dad and he says "no Jakey! no!" as the little boy repeats "oh sh!t". I just thought to myself, his wife is going to kill him when that little boy goes home and says "oh sh!t" in front of her.
My husband has the tendency to drop a long drawn out f-bomb over things that definitely don't warrant it (ex. He drops something, it doesn't make a mess and it is easily picked up). Getting him to stop this or at least substitute a different word has been my biggest project lately
@runsomewhere I totally agree that kids swearing is super trashy. But like @ashbub714 said if they say it accidently, as long as you don't encourage it, can be pretty funny. My 9 year old sister said "bitch" the other day, not knowing it wasn't okay and she said it all weird like she wasn't sure she was pronouncing it or using it correctly so that was pretty funny (I kept my laughter contained though)
@ashbub714 that happens and it is funny. DD started eating with a little form regularly when she was very young and really liked doing it. She's always ask for her fork but did not pronounce it very well. I remember us being at a restaurant and DD yelling "fok fok fok" necause she wanted a fork lol.
@kissableviv I have definitely had to watch myself in front of DD. I don't curse a ton but it slips.
@gspmom21 I see no issue with a young kid getting a smack on the bottom.
@moguippy that's something that would happen to me, especially after posting this UO lol
My speech delayed DS decided his favorite phrase for a good two weeks was “shut up.” He’d use it properly to anyone who decided to ask him to do something... Thankfully he’s moved onto different phrases I’m not so afraid of him blurting out in public. I’ve got a potty mouth myself but I try and keep it down around DS... DH on the other hand will sometimes walk around the house making up songs about his balls.. That’s got to stop
@carsonraynee I totally agree, I mean more the situations where that's just the way you speak at home and to/around your kids then think it's hilarious when their toddlers do the same. Yuck.
My UO cosleeping(without anything in the bed for the baby) scares me. mainly because I knoe how I toss and turn all night and I think I would roll on the baby. now if someone wants to do it and it works for them that's great but if I had to try I probably wouldn't sleep at all!
Add me to the potty mouth club. While I agree it isn't cute to intentionally teach or encourage that sort of language for little kids, especially since they won't know it isn't ok in certain settings, I also don't think it's the end of the world. I don't swear around my 5 year old niece or friend's littles, but it's pretty likely my LO will learn the f-bomb from yours truly. Naturally we're (TBH it's me) working on cleaning up our language at home a bit, but my argument has always been substituting the dirty word for something more innocent is the same thing. We speak two languages at home, and plan to have DH's first language be the primary, so hopefully that will give me more variety to pull from to express myself.
I don't like spanking and I think it's sad and mean. First of all, it doesn't work to deter bad behavior (there is a TON of research supporting this). Secondly, it shows kids that physical violence is ok. Nope nope nope I will never spank my kids. Have I wanted to? Yes. I think the guilt after physically harming my kid would be too much for me. I've accidentally hurt my kid before and the trauma of it still haunts me.
I’m also a huge potty mouth and so is my boyfriend. I’m definitely worried about us being aware of our language once our LO arrives and starts talking. I agree it’s not cute when there’s been no effort made to stop the language and it’s actually encouraged. However I’m also the first one to laugh when my niece or nephew says a bad word by accident. Our families are very laid back. Nobody’s perfect!
Giving homeless money, if your hungry I’d rather buy you some food. If your selling something then I’ll help by purchasing something because your actually trying. I hate it when they pull kids into the mix or rub it in your face that we have something they don’t. Dude not the right way to go about asking for help.
@Lelo2006 let's keep things civil as others have different view points and the way you worded it could be pretty hurtful. for the record I was spanked and would never say it taught me physical violence was okay. It also never physically harmed mean so please dont make assumptions about all parents who choose this route of parenting. also for us it did deter behavior and it wasnt because we were worried of getting "beat". also my parents werent mean people...
@Lelo2006 let's keep things civil as others have different view points and the way you worded it could be pretty hurtful. for the record I was spanked and would never say it taught me physical violence was okay. It also never physically harmed mean so please dont make assumptions about all parents who choose this route of parenting. also for us it did deter behavior and it wasnt because we were worried of getting "beat". also my parents werent mean people...
I also was physically punished and I absolutely hated it and still have anger about it today. I don't think my post was uncivil at all and I will never agree with physical violence towards kids. Hill to die on.
Another funnyish story, this one from my goddaughter. Her biological father lives in OH and he gets her 2 weeks a year (We live in NJ). He is a dirtbag with anger issues. On the way home from picking her up after spending two weeks with the dirtbag, my BFF gets cut off and from the backseat hears her precious 2 year old say "what a dick". She used it in perfect context. My friend had to stifle her laughter before telling her not to use that word.
@Lelo2006 ummm spanking is in no way physical violence or causing physical harm. It is not done to inflict physical pain but to quickly alert and redirect a young child acting inappropriately. While I don't feel strongly about spanking one way or another lets be reasonable.
Ugh my H and I reallllly need to work on not cursing around our son. He's still too young to repeat words but I know it can start at any time so I am really trying to be more conscious of it. No one's perfect though and slip ups happen. Funny story about kids cursing (well I think it's funny anyway), my boss tells this story about leaving her 3ish son with her sister for the day, and at some point the kid dropped something and said the S word. Boss's sister was appalled and asked where he heard that and he said "from my mommy" (my boss). She said "no way, my sister would never say something like that, when did she say that?" And the kid goes...."when she breaks a nail."
Re spanking, I agree with @Lelo2006. Not a fan, and in a society dealing with so much violence, I never want my children to think being violent is okay. How can you reprimand a child for hitting, but then you hit him/her when they do something bad? If I did spank (which I would not), it would only be for the child doing something VERY dangerous to himself. Like if he ran out into the road or something. I don't agree with spanking for talking back or saying a bad word.
@Lelo2006 ummm spanking is in no way physical violence or causing physical harm. It is not done to inflict physical pain but to quickly alert and redirect a young child acting inappropriately. While I don't feel strongly about spanking one way or another lets be reasonable.
IDK, I think there are other ways besides inflicting pain (which yes, spanking is painful) to redirect kids. It teaches kids to be aggressive and maybe works in the short term. I don't like it and nothing will change my mind there. I just feel strongly about it.
@lindsayleigh1989 I have to agree with you on the cosleeping. That scares me so much. I appreciate the idea of it, but I'd never be able to do it.
It isn't even an option for us because we have a really low platform bed and our dogs get in and out of it all night. So not only would I be worried about me or DH and our tossing and turning, but would be worried about the dogs stepping on baby or something. After 11 years of them having the ability to do it, I'm not about to start changing everything on them, they won't understand.
@lindsayleigh1989 I think a lot of parents co-sleep unsafely and sadly that often leads to accidents. If you follow the strict safety rules for it though, I do feel it is safe. That includes not doing it if you know you are either a heavy sleeper or likely to roll around a lot. Also no co-sleeping when you've been drinking, and I think they discourage it if you are obese too - not positive on that though. I've done it with my son when he was a baby, always followed the rules and felt safe doing it, but I totally understand being uncomfortable with it.
Ugh my H and I reallllly need to work on not cursing around our son. He's still too young to repeat words but I know it can start at any time so I am really trying to be more conscious of it. No one's perfect though and slip ups happen. Funny story about kids cursing (well I think it's funny anyway), my boss tells this story about leaving her 3ish son with her sister for the day, and at some point the kid dropped something and said the S word. Boss's sister was appalled and asked where he heard that and he said "from my mommy" (my boss). She said "no way, my sister would never say something like that, when did she say that?" And the kid goes...."when she breaks a nail."
Re spanking, I agree with @Lelo2006. Not a fan, and in a society dealing with so much violence, I never want my children to think being violent is okay. How can you reprimand a child for hitting, but then you hit him/her when they do something bad? If I did spank (which I would not), it would only be for the child doing something VERY dangerous to himself. Like if he ran out into the road or something. I don't agree with spanking for talking back or saying a bad word.
@zande2016 I have literally seen my friends spank their kids for hitting. It's just not my choice.
@Lelo2006 saying a parent who does this does it to be mean is pretty uncivil in my opinion. No one spanks to hurt their child if they are that isnt spanking that is abuse. there is a difference between a swat and hitting a child and that is where I think the importantance to differentiate comes from. I felt the way you worded your post was to shame parents who choose that route. and I disagree that is okay. I wouldn't tell a parent that chooses to do cio they are neglecting their child. instead I would try to offer different solutions instead of attacking them and that is how i took your post as an attack.
100% agree with what @zande2016 said. I think when DS is this young it would be hard for me to say " use your words not your hands" to tell him not to hit when he's upset but then hit him, either on the butt or a smack on the hand. I dont think hed know the reason for the diff (hes 2.5).I won t even let DH smack on the hands for the same reason, we try other things. That s not to say I've never slipped but it's something that I try not to do.
@lindsayleigh1989 same, i remember being spanked a few times but nothing like constant beatings. My parents stopped after a certain age, my sister would even laugh after being spanked (weirdo). I don’t feel scared or the urge to hit someone either. It’s not to say i will do the same with my kids (no ones business on my choices). I feel more scarred from an ex boyfriend trying to hit me or words he used and i associate that with the way he was raised (lack of better yet). There are different ways to discipline and not one way works for all kids.
I can understand people who support spanking being offended by the use of the word "violence" to describe it, because we never want to think we are being violent towards our children. I mean no disrespect at all, but I do feel that punishing a child with physical force is enforcing the idea that being physical is okay and is an okay way to react to issues. I am not saying parents who spank are violent, I am just saying I feel that the perception and lesson children take away from it is that being physical can be used to solve problems, and I think that can easily lead to violence, especially in young kids who don't fully understand why they were spanked.
@Lelo2006 saying a parent who does this does it to be mean is pretty uncivil in my opinion. No one spanks to hurt their child if they are that isnt spanking that is abuse. there is a difference between a swat and hitting a child and that is where I think the importantance to differentiate comes from. I felt the way you worded your post was to shame parents who choose that route. and I disagree that is okay. I wouldn't tell a parent that chooses to do cio they are neglecting their child. instead I would try to offer different solutions instead of attacking them and that is how i took your post as an attack.
You have the right to take my post however you took it.
@lindsayleigh1989 while I do not agree with @lelo2006's post I think that it's ok to have different opinions, even if I think they are wrong, strong or harsh.
Something what annoys me about the pregnancy/mommy world is that everything is taken as a personal attack or the ever so overused and annoying term "shaming."
Ok I guess that's my other UO the constant use of the word shaming for every dam time something you hear displeases you annoys me a lot. And @lindsayleigh1989 this UO is not at all directed at you.
@lindsayleigh1989 while I do not agree with @lelo2006's post I think that it's ok to have different opinions, even if I think they are wrong, strong or harsh.
Something what annoys me about the pregnancy/mommy world is that everything is taken as a personal attack or the ever so overused and annoying term "shaming."
Ok I guess that's my other UO the constant use of the word shaming for every dam time something you hear displeases you annoys me a lot. And @lindsayleigh1989 this UO is not at all directed at you.
How is telling a parent what they are doing is mean and sad and implying they are physically harming their children aka abusing their children not shaming?!
I think you all know me well enough to know I dont throw the parent shame thing around willu nilly. I am also fine with people having different opinions all I said was that it could have been worded better and in a way more supportive of other community members who have a different opinion.
@gspmom21 you shared a UO that is what this thread is for I just disagree with putting down others who are doing what they feel is best as saying they are purposefully harming their children
@gspmom21 I think it was totally fine to bring up. We are all adults who will be raising the next generation of adults. If we can't handle a controversial dispute, conversation or even tiff we've got bigger problems than spanking.
Re: UO Thursday
@runsomewhere I agree! If they're told not to and they continue that's a spanking.
And that could be a UO, I won't mind spanking my children. I would never use a belt or severe punishment, but I'm totally ok with a quick pop on the butt.
Edited to fix grammatical error.
@runsomewhere I totally agree that kids swearing is super trashy. But like @ashbub714 said if they say it accidently, as long as you don't encourage it, can be pretty funny. My 9 year old sister said "bitch" the other day, not knowing it wasn't okay and she said it all weird like she wasn't sure she was pronouncing it or using it correctly so that was pretty funny (I kept my laughter contained though)
@kissableviv I have definitely had to watch myself in front of DD. I don't curse a ton but it slips.
@gspmom21 I see no issue with a young kid getting a smack on the bottom.
@moguippy that's something that would happen to me, especially after posting this UO lol
I’ve got a potty mouth myself but I try and keep it down around DS... DH on the other hand will sometimes walk around the house making up songs about his balls.. That’s got to stop
I don't swear around my 5 year old niece or friend's littles, but it's pretty likely my LO will learn the f-bomb from yours truly. Naturally we're (TBH it's me) working on cleaning up our language at home a bit, but my argument has always been substituting the dirty word for something more innocent is the same thing. We speak two languages at home, and plan to have DH's first language be the primary, so hopefully that will give me more variety to pull from to express myself.
the record I was spanked and would never say it taught me physical violence was okay. It also never physically harmed mean so please dont make assumptions about all parents who choose this route of parenting. also for us it did deter behavior and it wasnt because we were worried of getting "beat". also my parents werent mean people...
Re spanking, I agree with @Lelo2006. Not a fan, and in a society dealing with so much violence, I never want my children to think being violent is okay. How can you reprimand a child for hitting, but then you hit him/her when they do something bad? If I did spank (which I would not), it would only be for the child doing something VERY dangerous to himself. Like if he ran out into the road or something. I don't agree with spanking for talking back or saying a bad word.
It isn't even an option for us because we have a really low platform bed and our dogs get in and out of it all night. So not only would I be worried about me or DH and our tossing and turning, but would be worried about the dogs stepping on baby or something. After 11 years of them having the ability to do it, I'm not about to start changing everything on them, they won't understand.
Something what annoys me about the pregnancy/mommy world is that everything is taken as a personal attack or the ever so overused and annoying term "shaming."
Ok I guess that's my other UO the constant use of the word shaming for every dam time something you hear displeases you annoys me a lot. And @lindsayleigh1989 this UO is not at all directed at you.
I think you all know me well enough to know I dont throw the parent shame thing around willu nilly. I am also fine with people having different opinions all I said was that it could have been worded better and in a way more supportive of other community members who have a different opinion.
I definitely didn't mean to start a tiff! I know that is a pretty strong topic so I probably shouldn't have touched that one.