@lolog531 I was part of June 15 too. A bunch of us switched to a private bump group, and that worked out really well for us since we weren't ready for the intamacy that FB has. I still talk to those ladies regularly and have even had meet ups.
@lolog531@7425cait I was in June 15 too! Never made the jump to FB with that group though. TB actually stayed active for a long time on that BMB. I did go to FB with my June 17 ladies, and that board totally died after we left, so I'm glad I did.
@ladygali I can totally relate to your mom issues. I spent years in therapy over my mother. I feel like it doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or girl, our childhood stuff will be triggered by our kiddos. I know my son has already and he is only 2.5! I think of it as a new opportunity to work on all that stuff. It’s amazing the boundaries I am willing to set on behalf of my son, things I was never willing to speak up and say for myself. I doubt this is comforting to your feelings but I just wanted to say I relate and you totally got this!
@Krysta6 thank you! It is comforting to know I don’t struggle alone. I agree with all that you said; I definitely find myself parenting like I was sometimes so I work really hard to fight the urge to just do what I know. I constantly validate his feelings, make sure he knows that he is loved and matters no matter what happens to us, and he could never do or say anything that would make me not love him. So, I just hope all my hard work overrides the moments I turn into my crazy mother. Thank you for the kind words and you totally got this, too!
@lolog531@delujm0@7425cait I was in June 15 too! I’m in a private bump group too with some ladies from there and it’s awesome! I haven’t gotten to go to any meet ups because I live far from everyone, but I don’t know what I’d do without those ladies!
@lolog531@delujm0@7425cait I was in June 15 too! I’m in a private bump group too with some ladies from there and it’s awesome! I haven’t gotten to go to any meet ups because I live far from everyone, but I don’t know what I’d do without those ladies!
June 15 too! I joined the fb group though, which is still super active and actually didn’t have too much drama. My jan 13 fb though... yowsa
@ladygali I think that’s a legitimate and common fear. My dad’s father died when he was 5, and he said when he had a son, he felt really scared that he wouldn’t be a good father because he didn’t have much of an example. Idk why he didn’t feel that way about me? (I was firstborn). I guess it’s just more personal when the relationship mirrors the one you have hang ups about.
@lolog531 What BMB were you in with DS? I wonder if I know you lol. I was in April 15 and around for alllll of that craziness, and our fbook group is still very active.
I was June 15! I also was in TTGP from June-Oct ‘14 and posted in grad threads pretty regularly. We went over to Then Comes Family forum and created FB group at the same time. My name was Laurenlou32 then, I changed it when I resigned up this time around.
Ah ok! Yeah when all of the craziness happened on TB we kind of split and some went to fb, some went to Then Comes Family, and some of us (me included) split our time and did both. I had a different username too - I ended up deleting my whole account on here during all of that drama. I think it was Jennyjen1125.
April Siggy Challenge: April Showers
About me:
29 y/o Married 6.26.11 BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14 BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now! BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17 BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
I know this is late to the game (I went to bed early last night..), and long (I hate being misunderstood..), but I still wanted to interject what I have been feeling, for myself and behalf of other FTM's like myself. Because it's bugged me since I have joined this BMB. And I'm very relieved to see that I'm not alone in those feelings, and that others have felt it as well. Chalk it up to the growing pains of any group, perhaps.
Maybe I'm weird, but as a first timer I don't mind hot topic subjects. As long as the fired up folks try to remain respectful as best as possible, bring it on. I enjoy learning all of the different perspectives of things from others that may differ from mine. Maybe they are things I may not have even thought of before. Perspectives from people who have been there and experienced it, and even perspectives from people like me, who are new and worried about a lot of new-to-us things (which I'm sure is old hat to the STM+'ers). Especially since I'm literally "going it alone" here with what I can learn from this forum and Google so far. I'm certainly not taking 40+ year old parenting advice from my mom who largely fucked up raising me beyond the bare necessities of life and I have no other close friends with children of their own to ask for help. Plus having a husband who has been rather blasé about pregnancy things so far hasn't helped matters any.
I've definitely felt the brunt of "the clique" once or twice, which is really just a few extra-touchy people who seem to like drama for whatever reason. I know the we're mostly hormone riddled, overly emotional women right now, but c'mon. It seriously made me feel like finding a new place to try to glean information from if people are going to get that bent out of shape over a difference of opinion. Like, I didn't realize I needed to have earned the Motherhood Badge that gives me permission to participate. Which for certain topics I'm sure it's helpful to have an opinion on, but not necessary. However I don't want to be part of the drama club, or to be ridiculed, or subjected to personal pettiness when I'm just trying to do my thing with the best of intentions possible. I honestly don't like confrontation, but poke me enough and I'll bite your finger. I'm here to learn and try my best to support others like me. However I will say it's seriously offensive and crosses a line when I'm personally told "to not have kids" because my personal shoes didn't fit someone else's feet. But because I do enjoy the many, many other nice and helpful ladies here, and with literally how much I'm learning about strollers, carriers, etc...I decided to stick around. I'd be doing myself a disservice by leaving, I think. Besides, if I left, I would miss Calimom's weekly shoe pictures and I'd be a sad panda.
That said, I can see both sides of the pregnancy weight issue brought up in here. I'm personally going to try to minimize my gain if possible. I realize it's probably a lofty and unrealistic expectation, but I'm going to try nonetheless. I'm trying really hard to work on my blood sugar issues and I know that the weight just compounds it. So far every time I've been weighed I'm losing a few pounds each time, but I figure now that the nausea and food aversions have largely subsided it'll start swinging the other direction, and I don't want it to get out of hand. But ultimately I accept my body will do what my body wants for the most part like it has always done regardless of how hard I work to eat healthy or exercise. Which so far it's doing really well at being shit with the GD diagnosis. The best I can hope for is that I can forcefully steer it into some moderation while I'm miserable for the next few months eating cardboard, hay, and poking myself with needles. :P
And on the other hand I could see how to a complete newbie-loo who doesn't know anything at all about pregnancy would be hearing, "don't worry about it", which under the rarest of circumstances could be horribly misconstrued as a license to eat anything and everything. Which is bad when taken to the extreme, too. But I don't think for a second the ladies saying such worded things were meaning that in anyway. And I'm sure @doctormom33 was thinking with her medical school training first and foremost and meant zero offense, either. You have to admit that she has an interesting, blended experience going on so far, I think.
TL;DR
Maybe if you know you have such a problem with the hot button issues you should personally steer clear of such threads so the rest of us can rationally discuss and learn.
Also while I'm curious about the rationale of how it supposedly works, or how people think it works or is somehow accurate. Sorry, I'm analytically minded like that. The Ramzi threads seem as hokey as all get out and I somewhat enjoy the snarky pictures that inevitably show up there. Because who wouldn't find the thought of birthing a shark fun! :P
I'd be doing myself a disservice by leaving, I think. Besides, if I left, I would miss Calimom's weekly shoe pictures and I'd be a sad panda.
This made me smile bigger than you know. I try so hard not to be a mean girl or clique-y so I hope I never come off that way. I know sometimes us STM's can come off as know it alls because we have BTDT, some of us more than once, but as someone else mentioned, the more kids I have I realize how little I actually know about any of this stuff.
I love the dynamic of the board from FTMs, going to be STMs, or STM+ and while sometimes there is confrontation and arguments, I still enjoy hanging here. I think it was @livinthesunnylife that said by the time we get to FB the group may split more than once and that is SO TRUE. When I went to NYC last month it was to meet 3 of the women from my D14 BMB. There are other D14 BMB moms that live in the area but as is natural in all groups of people, some have closer relationships than others. Apparently we hurt the feelings of one of the moms (who I legitimately didn't even know lived close enough to NYC that she would want to be included) and it caused her to come into the group and ask me to stop posting how much fun I was having. It caused HUGE drama and the group split for the third time. In 4 years we have now split 3 times since moving to FB. It's natural, it happens, but as mentioned, the closer we all get as friends the MUCH MORE it hurts when things like this happen.
@calimom2524 She seriously made a post about not being included in a get-together? How petty is that? You can and should choose who you hang out with the most. There is a huge difference between acquaintances, friends, and bffs.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
@calimom2524 She seriously made a post about not being included in a get-together? How petty is that? You can and should choose who you hang out with the most. There is a huge difference between acquaintances, friends, and bffs.
The way we do our FB is basically just one one long random thread just like our randoms here. My bestie and I had posted a couple of pictures of us doing touristy stuff and she commented on one of the pictures asking me to please stop posting how much fun I'm having because her feelings were hurt she wasn't invited. She participates so little that none of us even knew she lived within driving distance of NYC and that was literally the first we had heard she even wanted to be invited. I GBCBd the FB group and a few days later they started a new one without her and with me in it. It was sooooo dramatic and stupid.
@calimom2524 Did anyone point out how she can't be MIA then bitch about stuff? Sounds like she was just super petty. I'm sorry that it went down badly.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
I am always surprised how pleasantly civil this board is to each other, even though I know I started off by saying sometimes we can be mean to drive-bys - I was always really scared to post UOs or FFFCs on my last board, but here I feel like even when ppl disagree they state it so respectfully and intelligently I can always appreciate their comments too. I think that is rare and maybe if this is your first board it might not be obvious, but in comparison I feel like we are very lucky.
The other board I have stuck with, I have known the ladies for almost 5 years now. And like others have said, there have been splits and people leaving and very personal disagreements. It is really sad when it happens, however I feel like now, after almost 5 years, the people that have stuck it out are mostly in it for the long haul and there has not been much drama for a long time. I may just be adding my perspective without a point, but yeah, I for sure know how worth it it is, and even reading people's insightful responses to the UOs yesterday (including people who were disagreeing with mine) had me wanting to come back and say I am blown away by this group and think it is really special so far, I have high hopes for another the same caliber as my other mom group. Insert big Internet hugs here.
@calimom2524 Did anyone point out how she can't be MIA then bitch about stuff? Sounds like she was just super petty. I'm sorry that it went down badly.
Oh yeah, it went down after that. That's why I left. I was 8 weeks pregnant and on the only vacation I've had in years with some of the most amazing women I know, I was not about to let her and her little gang take me down. Of course I was still able to see everything that went down because my bestie stayed in the group so we read it all that night. It was ridiculous and the new spin off of our group without the 3 of the "bullies" has such a better dynamic, it has come out that a lot of them didn't even want to post anymore for fear of the team of them ganging up on them. It's kinda sad that we're all in our 30s and 40s and this stuff still happens. Our group started around 40 people and we're down to 18 now.
@neeraja_k - I read everything, and I really want to talk more about your GD diagnosis. I'm not minimizing the rest, but this is something that I can relate to directly and it seems as though the diagnosis is hitting you hard.
Yup, the needles suck. I have calluses on every one of my fingers from so many finger pricks a day. My belly is already bruised and I have small lumps that form under my skin when I hit the same spot too frequently with my injections. It sucks to turn down cupcakes and it sucks to eat a salad when veggies make you gag. It just fucking sucks and it's fucking unfair.
But you absolutely can do this. I've found some truly delicious diabetic recipes on Pinterest that my DH and DSS love. The extra exercise gives me an energy boost, albeit a short lived energy boost. I've found food substitutes that make me not miss the cupcakes so much. You'll get through it. And you can always come here and just lay out how bad all of this fucking sucks and we'll listen. You can PM me if you want to talk more.
I think these boards can form great friendships! I didn't Bump with my first but I did join a Military Brides board on the knot prior to getting married in 2007 and there's like 15 of us that formed a private group and we still post in that board, we're friends on FB, we've met in real life. I regularly exchange emails with one in particular almost every day and at this point it's been 12 years which is crazy. We've gotten married, divorced, had kids, not had kids, some are no longer affiliated with the military, it's super awesome. I tell those girls things I wouldn't tell my IRL friends or family!
Maybe if you know you have such a problem with the hot button issues you should personally steer clear of such threads so the rest of us can rationally discuss and learn.
Can we just all agree to let this die here? I am not an FTM but I can see their perspective right now and I think maybe this is getting pushed just a little bit too far.
Maybe if you know you have such a problem with the hot button issues you should personally steer clear of such threads so the rest of us can rationally discuss and learn.
I don't see anyone being irrational.
Maybe we can all just move forward now and stop trying to debate other people's feelings?
Feelings got a little hurt here and it seems like a good time to move on.
When debates happen and I disagree with someone, I don't take it personally, and I also don't take it from thread to thread. Unless someone is being a name-calling, judgmental asshole, you're not going on a post-it. If people feel like their has been some sort of pattern of clique-ish or bullying behavior, that's unfortunate, but I really haven't seen it.
In the end, this is the internet and we don't really know each other. We're here because we're all pregnant and due at the same time. That might be the only we have in common, and that's OK. It's not going to keep me from the community, but it's also not going to keep me from being myself. I know not everyone is going to like me. But I don't have anything against any regular here, not for any opinion they've held, not for being a FTM, not for their personal beliefs, nothing. If I've made anyone feel that way, for that I DO apologize. Everyone here deserves to be here and participate here. I'm opinionated, but I don't hold grudges against people for being who they are.
@lalala2004 I understand what you are saying, but that isn't the way you have come across several different times. Maybe its the way your vocabulary is perceived outside of TB carrying over to this BMB, but even though I haven't been on the end of your disagreements yet I have seriously felt attacked by your phrasing. Maybe on some topics where it is likely to get heated or some apologizes for stating something unclearly/not their actual feelings take a step back and truly think about how you want to state things.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
@lalala2004 you and I see eye to eye on a lot of things and I know you to be straightforward and upfront and I think that that is refreshing. There may be some element of “lost in translation” due to all interactions here being via text as @princesslockness said but I don’t for a second think of you as vicious or mean. I appreciate your honestly and frankness and also the support you offer.
At the end of the day, when this many people come together there are inevitably going to be personality clashes and differences of opinions. I’ve always considered this BMB to be way tame when I compare it to TB of just a couple of years ago and I feel lucky to be part of this group. As long as no one is being a complete dick and attacking someone else’s character, it’s normal and healthy to disagree and debate. It’s what makes things interesting.
Guys I haven’t been able to stay caught up the past couple of days and this is all super intense. I see both sides. The people who post more regularly will be perceived to be a ‘clique’ simply because they’re more visible. They’re probably forming closer relationships because they’re talking more often too. But that’s okay, that’s how making friends works. You get what you put in. Doesn’t mean anyone is intentionally leaving people out though.
As as I read through everything I did think of an UO though: I HATE using pregnancy/hormones as an excuse for being mean. I don’t think that happened here but it reminded me of it. It happened all the time on my previous bmb and I just don’t think it’s a good reason to be a bitch! People would be mean and then be like ‘sorry, hormones’. That doesn’t fly!
August '18 March Siggy Challenge - You had ONE JOB
I dont know @hardlyhannah...I love my husband very much and he’s honestly great. He’s Hands on and helps with everything. I’ve disliked him a lot of this pregnancy. And picked lots of fights over nothing. I’m going with hormones
Maybe I’m just on the sappy hormone train instead of the bitchy hormone train so I can’t relate!
eta: but also, I think logically in something like a message board vs in person even if hormones are making you feel ragey you c an be more logical about it and take a second to rain it in
August '18 March Siggy Challenge - You had ONE JOB
I can agree with a lot that's been said here but I will say that I don't care for the idea that hormones are often used as an excuse for the reactions of some. Being pregnant and having extra hormones does not means my feelings are less valid or driven simply on the increase of hormones.
May I be slightly more sensitive? Sure. But I still have my opinions and feelings and those don't change because my uterus is occupied.
@msmonalisavito to be clear I didn’t say anything about anyones reactions, I said it to being mean. Like purposely nasty to other board participants. I also said I haven’t noticed that happening here yet in general
August '18 March Siggy Challenge - You had ONE JOB
@lolog531 What BMB were you in with DS? I wonder if I know you lol. I was in April 15 and around for alllll of that craziness, and our fbook group is still very active.
I was June 15! I also was in TTGP from June-Oct ‘14 and posted in grad threads pretty regularly. We went over to Then Comes Family forum and created FB group at the same time. My name was Laurenlou32 then, I changed it when I resigned up this time around.
Ah ok! Yeah when all of the craziness happened on TB we kind of split and some went to fb, some went to Then Comes Family, and some of us (me included) split our time and did both. I had a different username too - I ended up deleting my whole account on here during all of that drama. I think it was Jennyjen1125.
I deleted my account, too, when it all went down!
I’m on mobile and it’s being funky so I can’t tag! All the other girls from June 15 that commented... hi!! Our fb group has had some drama, but a lot is weeded our now. There are still about 30 of us that are active daily and I’ve met a few in person!
@lolog531 What BMB were you in with DS? I wonder if I know you lol. I was in April 15 and around for alllll of that craziness, and our fbook group is still very active.
I was June 15! I also was in TTGP from June-Oct ‘14 and posted in grad threads pretty regularly. We went over to Then Comes Family forum and created FB group at the same time. My name was Laurenlou32 then, I changed it when I resigned up this time around.
Ah ok! Yeah when all of the craziness happened on TB we kind of split and some went to fb, some went to Then Comes Family, and some of us (me included) split our time and did both. I had a different username too - I ended up deleting my whole account on here during all of that drama. I think it was Jennyjen1125.
I deleted my account, too, when it all went down!
I’m on mobile and it’s being funky so I can’t tag! All the other girls from June 15 that commented... hi!! Our fb group has had some drama, but a lot is weeded our now. There are still about 30 of us that are active daily and I’ve met a few in person!
Must be another fb group! The June one I’m on has about 100 I think eta I see you said active daily. I don’t think you are on the same one though??? ‘Due in june’?
Re: UO Thursday 2/8
11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
08/03/17 no hb 8w
11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
08/03/17 no hb 8w
About me:
Married 6.26.11
BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14
BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now!
BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17
BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
Maybe I'm weird, but as a first timer I don't mind hot topic subjects. As long as the fired up folks try to remain respectful as best as possible, bring it on. I enjoy learning all of the different perspectives of things from others that may differ from mine. Maybe they are things I may not have even thought of before. Perspectives from people who have been there and experienced it, and even perspectives from people like me, who are new and worried about a lot of new-to-us things (which I'm sure is old hat to the STM+'ers). Especially since I'm literally "going it alone" here with what I can learn from this forum and Google so far. I'm certainly not taking 40+ year old parenting advice from my mom who largely fucked up raising me beyond the bare necessities of life and I have no other close friends with children of their own to ask for help. Plus having a husband who has been rather blasé about pregnancy things so far hasn't helped matters any.
I've definitely felt the brunt of "the clique" once or twice, which is really just a few extra-touchy people who seem to like drama for whatever reason. I know the we're mostly hormone riddled, overly emotional women right now, but c'mon. It seriously made me feel like finding a new place to try to glean information from if people are going to get that bent out of shape over a difference of opinion. Like, I didn't realize I needed to have earned the Motherhood Badge that gives me permission to participate. Which for certain topics I'm sure it's helpful to have an opinion on, but not necessary. However I don't want to be part of the drama club, or to be ridiculed, or subjected to personal pettiness when I'm just trying to do my thing with the best of intentions possible. I honestly don't like confrontation, but poke me enough and I'll bite your finger. I'm here to learn and try my best to support others like me. However I will say it's seriously offensive and crosses a line when I'm personally told "to not have kids" because my personal shoes didn't fit someone else's feet. But because I do enjoy the many, many other nice and helpful ladies here, and with literally how much I'm learning about strollers, carriers, etc...I decided to stick around. I'd be doing myself a disservice by leaving, I think. Besides, if I left, I would miss Calimom's weekly shoe pictures and I'd be a sad panda.
That said, I can see both sides of the pregnancy weight issue brought up in here. I'm personally going to try to minimize my gain if possible. I realize it's probably a lofty and unrealistic expectation, but I'm going to try nonetheless. I'm trying really hard to work on my blood sugar issues and I know that the weight just compounds it. So far every time I've been weighed I'm losing a few pounds each time, but I figure now that the nausea and food aversions have largely subsided it'll start swinging the other direction, and I don't want it to get out of hand. But ultimately I accept my body will do what my body wants for the most part like it has always done regardless of how hard I work to eat healthy or exercise. Which so far it's doing really well at being shit with the GD diagnosis. The best I can hope for is that I can forcefully steer it into some moderation while I'm miserable for the next few months eating cardboard, hay, and poking myself with needles. :P
And on the other hand I could see how to a complete newbie-loo who doesn't know anything at all about pregnancy would be hearing, "don't worry about it", which under the rarest of circumstances could be horribly misconstrued as a license to eat anything and everything. Which is bad when taken to the extreme, too. But I don't think for a second the ladies saying such worded things were meaning that in any way. And I'm sure @doctormom33 was thinking with her medical school training first and foremost and meant zero offense, either. You have to admit that she has an interesting, blended experience going on so far, I think.
TL;DR
Maybe if you know you have such a problem with the hot button issues you should personally steer clear of such threads so the rest of us can rationally discuss and learn.
Also while I'm curious about the rationale of how it supposedly works, or how people think it works or is somehow accurate. Sorry, I'm analytically minded like that. The Ramzi threads seem as hokey as all get out and I somewhat enjoy the snarky pictures that inevitably show up there. Because who wouldn't find the thought of birthing a shark fun! :P
I love the dynamic of the board from FTMs, going to be STMs, or STM+ and while sometimes there is confrontation and arguments, I still enjoy hanging here. I think it was @livinthesunnylife that said by the time we get to FB the group may split more than once and that is SO TRUE. When I went to NYC last month it was to meet 3 of the women from my D14 BMB. There are other D14 BMB moms that live in the area but as is natural in all groups of people, some have closer relationships than others. Apparently we hurt the feelings of one of the moms (who I legitimately didn't even know lived close enough to NYC that she would want to be included) and it caused her to come into the group and ask me to stop posting how much fun I was having. It caused HUGE drama and the group split for the third time. In 4 years we have now split 3 times since moving to FB. It's natural, it happens, but as mentioned, the closer we all get as friends the MUCH MORE it hurts when things like this happen.
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
I am always surprised how pleasantly civil this board is to each other, even though I know I started off by saying sometimes we can be mean to drive-bys - I was always really scared to post UOs or FFFCs on my last board, but here I feel like even when ppl disagree they state it so respectfully and intelligently I can always appreciate their comments too. I think that is rare and maybe if this is your first board it might not be obvious, but in comparison I feel like we are very lucky.
The other board I have stuck with, I have known the ladies for almost 5 years now. And like others have said, there have been splits and people leaving and very personal disagreements. It is really sad when it happens, however I feel like now, after almost 5 years, the people that have stuck it out are mostly in it for the long haul and there has not been much drama for a long time. I may just be adding my perspective without a point, but yeah, I for sure know how worth it it is, and even reading people's insightful responses to the UOs yesterday (including people who were disagreeing with mine) had me wanting to come back and say I am blown away by this group and think it is really special so far, I have high hopes for another the same caliber as my other mom group. Insert big Internet hugs here.
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
Yup, the needles suck. I have calluses on every one of my fingers from so many finger pricks a day. My belly is already bruised and I have small lumps that form under my skin when I hit the same spot too frequently with my injections. It sucks to turn down cupcakes and it sucks to eat a salad when veggies make you gag. It just fucking sucks and it's fucking unfair.
But you absolutely can do this. I've found some truly delicious diabetic recipes on Pinterest that my DH and DSS love. The extra exercise gives me an energy boost, albeit a short lived energy boost. I've found food substitutes that make me not miss the cupcakes so much. You'll get through it. And you can always come here and just lay out how bad all of this fucking sucks and we'll listen. You can PM me if you want to talk more.
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
Feelings got a little hurt here and it seems like a good time to move on.
When debates happen and I disagree with someone, I don't take it personally, and I also don't take it from thread to thread. Unless someone is being a name-calling, judgmental asshole, you're not going on a post-it. If people feel like their has been some sort of pattern of clique-ish or bullying behavior, that's unfortunate, but I really haven't seen it.
In the end, this is the internet and we don't really know each other. We're here because we're all pregnant and due at the same time. That might be the only we have in common, and that's OK. It's not going to keep me from the community, but it's also not going to keep me from being myself. I know not everyone is going to like me. But I don't have anything against any regular here, not for any opinion they've held, not for being a FTM, not for their personal beliefs, nothing. If I've made anyone feel that way, for that I DO apologize. Everyone here deserves to be here and participate here. I'm opinionated, but I don't hold grudges against people for being who they are.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
At the end of the day, when this many people come together there are inevitably going to be personality clashes and differences of opinions. I’ve always considered this BMB to be way tame when I compare it to TB of just a couple of years ago and I feel lucky to be part of this group. As long as no one is being a complete dick and attacking someone else’s character, it’s normal and healthy to disagree and debate. It’s what makes things interesting.
As as I read through everything I did think of an UO though:
I HATE using pregnancy/hormones as an excuse for being mean. I don’t think that happened here but it reminded me of it. It happened all the time on my previous bmb and I just don’t think it’s a good reason to be a bitch! People would be mean and then be like ‘sorry, hormones’. That doesn’t fly!
August '18 March Siggy Challenge - You had ONE JOB
eta: but also, I think logically in something like a message board vs in person even if hormones are making you feel ragey you c an be more logical about it and take a second to rain it in
August '18 March Siggy Challenge - You had ONE JOB
May I be slightly more sensitive? Sure. But I still have my opinions and feelings and those don't change because my uterus is occupied.
August '18 March Siggy Challenge - You had ONE JOB
August '18 March Siggy Challenge - You had ONE JOB
I’m on mobile and it’s being funky so I can’t tag! All the other girls from June 15 that commented... hi!! Our fb group has had some drama, but a lot is weeded our now. There are still about 30 of us that are active daily and I’ve met a few in person!
DS: 5.28.15
DS#2: EDD 8.31.18
eta I see you said active daily. I don’t think you are on the same one though??? ‘Due in june’?
11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
08/03/17 no hb 8w