IF Testing & Treatment -- Weekly Thread 12/18

shortstack930 · December 2017

@SkilledSailor yoga helps me a lot also! I know how you feel about seeing the birthdays go by.
@madspunk fx for your beta! The RE told me I would O about 36 hours after trigger so I went by that.
@BusinessWife yay for transfer week! I understand why it is bittersweet for you. Hugs, friend.
@ndz2018 glad the injections are going well!
@adirat I am hoping so hard that this transfer works. A quiet Christmas sounds relaxing!
@beachbunnyxo123 ugh that is frustrating about the nurse! I hope they get everything sorted out.
@RVAmom315 that sounds like a relaxing weekend!
@halfanewt I've heard that you shouldn't do too much core exercise while stimming because of the risk of ovarian torsion. I would stick to light exercise and definitely no sit ups or anything similar.
@AlohaKumu awww I love that YH is doing that already!!
@darkstar42 I would say maybe just relax and enjoy the holiday and test the morning of your beta so that you know before hand.
@Sailing_Mama enjoy your trip!!
@jaylii Sorry you find yourself here, but welcome!
@Avrilmai that's great that you learned how to knit! Did you teach yourself? I've been thinking about trying to learn.
@kiwi2628 I'm glad you're focusing on the positive! Sometimes it's so hard to do that when it seems like IF is consuming your life.
@zwink1 yay FET cycle! Do you have an exact date yet?
@jrm_14 I'm sorry you've had a rough time lately. I hope the new year brings great things for you!

Diagnosis (If you've been): secondary IF due to endometriosis

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) I have my appointment with the pharmacist on Friday to learn how to administer medications and pick up all of my IVF meds.

How are things going? I've been wonderfully distracted by the holidays lately! I've accepted that IVF is happening and I'm just looking forward to moving on.

Any questions? Nope.

GTKY: How are you going to practice self-care this holiday season? I've been keeping up with my exercising and I was able to fit into a pair of jeans the other night that I haven't worn since like 2012. Also doing a lot of reading for pleasure because it helps take my mind off of everything.

madspunk · December 2017

@BusinessWife I'll be thinking of you this Friday! I'm sorry you are not as bubbly or excited for FET as last time, but that's totally understandable. Hugs. I hope this is the one!

@adirat I hope you feel better after Christmas too. I can only imagine all the feelings you're having going into a second FET.

@beachbunnyxo123 I did IUI this month. I triggered in the late morning on a Thursday. Based on the responses here it looks like I might have O'ed during the night Friday-Saturday. I'm thinking good thoughts for everything to come together nicely for your natural IVF start.

@halfanewt That's good the RE at least called back after reading the records, but still is unbelievable they sent you to the wrong branch! With the stress of IF, I'm glad that you have some other awesomeness going on in your life. Hopefully the awesomeness keeps coming.

@Alohakumu FX so hard for you!! I hope that fatigue and twinges are a good sign.

@darkstar42 I feel like TTC has taken over my life this year too. I've stopped talking about IF struggles with anyone IRL (besides DH and a therapist I see once in awhile) because I've found it's too depressing and not talking with everyone about it helps me focus on other things when I'm with them. But that works for me - I'm sure for other IF-ers that approach might make things works.

@Sailing_Mama Enjoy your time in Seattle enjoying non-TTC things and not thinking about testing! FX for you!

@jaylii Sorry you find yourself here. My OB was the first to order DH's SA. I'm in total agreement with others here to have the SA done as early as possible if your doctor suspects IF. Was it the pelvic pain that made you want to get checked out by an OB?

@kiwi2628 That's good everything is lining up with the BC any way. You'll be on your way again soon. I love your GTKY response too. This journey really sucks, but I do feel incredibly fortunate to be in a situation where I can pursue treatment. And I feel very lucky to have so many good things in my life, even without babies.

@zwink1 Sorry to hear you're so busy right now. Hopefully things slow down for you at work soon.

@shortstack930 Yay for holiday distractions!

madspunk · December 2017

@jrm_14 I told my manager directly about IF treatments, but I'm lucky to have a supporting manager. Could you try simply, "I have some medical tests and procedures going on over the next few months, and unfortunately, I do not have much advance notice of when these tests and procedures will happen, and cannot reschedule them. It's not life-threatening or anything you should worry about, but I wanted to let you know in case I need to take time off with short notice." And you might also want to add "I don't think it will be more than 1-2 days a month I might need off" or whatever extra information you can provide so they know the extent of time off you might need. Do you have HR? You might also start with them.

KristoKekerooni · December 2017

@adirat , @BusinessWife , and all the rest of you with failed transfers and less-exciting second+ rounds: please remember that your attitude does not impact these little embryos. It's okay if you aren't thrilled. Feel that way if you need to guard your heart. Those little frosties are either going to do their thing or they won't. It's okay.

And obviously I will root and pray and bargain my way to hell till you guys get some stubborn stickers!

jaylii · December 2017

@shortstack930 @madspunk @jrm_14 @SkilledSailor @AlohaKumu @darkstar42 @ndz2018 @Avrilmai @RVAmom315 and anyone else I missed: Thanks for the warm welcome yesterday and words of wisdom on the SA. I got results back yesterday. FSH: 6.1 and LH: 5.5 I can see those in my online chart but haven't heard from my OB yet. From what I've been reading those numbers are within normal limits. I also have an OB appointment scheduled for January so will go from there. I really feel like I'm at a point where I don't know where things stand or what I should do next. Hoping the OB can provide some guidance.

Avrilmai · December 2017

@SkilledSailor I'm always here for support if you need it. I do mainly vinyasa yoga
@shortstack930 I tried to teach myself to knit and it didn't go well. @lulu1180 recommended checking out the craft stores for in-person classes and the JoAnn store had an intro class, so a friend and I went. It was a fun girls day. I then used youtube videos to learn other stitches etc. but it was good to get the basics in person. I know moving to IVF can be overwhelming. GL with the med training on Friday.
@kiwi2628 loved your GTKY response. glad to hear your concerns have been lessened a bit
@jrm_14 thanks! Also, I think planning relaxation can be so helpful when we have such busy, on the go lives.
@jaylii for me my OB wanted me to do an HSG and for DH to get the SA before we talked about anything else. I hope you are able to get the guidance/feedback/suggestions you need at your January appointment.

adirat · December 2017

@KristoKekerooni Thank you

I needed to hear that.

50Wife · December 2017

Just wanted to pop in real quick. I'll be back for comments later if I can catch a break at work

Diagnosis (If you've been): MFI- low count

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): on BCP, waiting for IVF

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) testing and just prepping for IVF. Had a ton of blood drawn this morning (19 vials!) to check for all sorts of things, pap on Friday, nutrition consult soon and then I think we're good to order meds and get going! Eeeek!

How are things going? Ok I guess. I've kind of come to terms with the fact that I'm on birth control so last month was our last real shot. This is how it's happening - IVF it is. I'm scared, it's big but I'm trying to take one step at a time so my freakouts are a bit more concentrated. I freaked out over 19 vials this morning and now I'll wait to freak out once I start stims lol

Any questions? nothing yet!

GTKY: How are you going to practice self-care this holiday season? Ugh trying to survive lol. I have a few days I took off so hopefully they'll help. We have a busy next few weeks with dinners, parties, birthdays, obviously christmas eve dinner (which we host) and traveling for Christmas day. Work is nuts, it's down to 2 of us so we're swaaaaaaaamped! But I'm literally approaching everything with a "I'll do what I can" mentality and leaving it at that.

[Deleted User] · December 2017

@50Wife ((((hugs)))) That was a huge part of my grief when we first got our dx, the loss of the chance at spontaneous pregnancy. It's heartbreaking. It's okay to mourn that aspect alone. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and just do what you can. ❤❤❤ You got this, and we gotchu. ;)

@KristoKekerooni ❤❤❤❤❤❤ Oh, kristo... I just. :'( I know you get it more than most, and it means so much to hear you say that. I am already looking so very much forward to your cycles in the New Year. 2018 is going to be our year! It <i>has</i> to be, right???

beachbunnyxo123 · December 2017

@rvamom315 what is your plan moving forward for the IUIs? Any idea how many you would plan to do?

@halfanewt oh boy so sorry to hear about the confusion with your appointment! I would be pretty angry myself. I also have been exercising a lot so I'm disappointed I won't be able to during retrieval cycle.

@alohakumu i have my fx so unbelievably hard for you! How you holding up in the TWW?

@adirat i actually had audible laughter from your Homer Simpson gif. Oh gees I'm nervous for how i will feel but glad i took the week of retrieval off from work, don't need the stress to be honest! Did you walk on a treadmill? I know it's cold outside so I'm wondering if that would be okay.

@darkstar42 I'm sorry to hear about how TTC has taken over and I'm hoping that you're able to find a way to resolve it! I wish i had the answer, I'm right there with you! hugs!

@sailing_mama enjoy your mini getaway!! hope its nice and relaxing for you!

@kiwi2628 I'm also so glad to be doing IVF together! It feels ten thousand times less isolating having friends to go through this process with!!

@shortstack930 I'm glad that you have been distracted and accepting about IVF! Hoping you have a good holiday season!!

@kristokekerooni girl PREACH. I agree with everything you said and I will be rooting and praying for @adirat and @businesswife as well!

@jaylii welcome even though this is a tough thing to have to get welcomed to this is a great group of supportive and caring women!

@50wife 19 vials of blood holy cow! I'll be freaking out with you once stims come! When are you planning to start stimming around?

AFM I have a phone consult with my RE tomorrow. I'm so overwhelmed and lost over this whole thing with IVF around the corner. I spoke to the pharmacy and my trigger shot is due to expire possibly before i trigger but I don't know what meds I'm supposed to take when so I'm just super confused. I would like to ask what type of protocol they are using cause I'm not sure and I've seen a lot about that on here this week. I've also heard about having to eat salty foods after a retrieval? My mind is all over the place. Any IVFers with question suggestions please let me know!!!

adirat · December 2017

@beachbunnyxo123 Good luck with the phone call tomorrow! Let us know how it goes. Yes, I walked on my treadmill some days and walked outside other days. I was doing probably 1 mile max and stopped entirely the couple days before my ER because I was so uncomfortable.

AlohaKumu · December 2017

@beachbunnyxo123 The 2ww has been going okay, at least when I'm awake. Last night I think I spent the entire night dreaming about taking pregnancy tests. Thanks for being a traitor, mind!

I know IVF is a lot and it seems like there are a hundred moving parts. Here are some suggestions for what helped me prior to my ER--
Calendar: Hopefully they will give you a calendar that will specifically state what you should take and when. If not, I would make one for yourself. (I purchased a calendar whiteboard so I could make adjustments as you go.)
Meds/protocol: I would make sure they give you a list of your medications and initial dosages. Although these may change depending on your levels, having that to start with is very helpful. I tried not to get too caught up in knowing the exact protocol, since it often changes.
Foods/beverages after ER: Yes, I followed the salty foods suggestion to avoid OHSS, especially since I had 29 eggs going. I drank coconut water instead of regular water and munched on foods like tortilla chips.
Hopefully tomorrow's phone consult will help you to get more information. If you have other questions, don't hesitate to ask!

50Wife · December 2017

@SkilledSailor ugh that anxiety and stress we put on ourselves is no joke. Fingers crossed for this cycle for you.
@madspunk GL this cycle!! I also count IUI day as O day.
@BusinessWife Fx so hard for you!!! I hope Friday goes well and that little bean sticks! And thank you for the encouraging words. I literally just sat in the office (naked from the waist down) crying to my husband because it was official. We're not doing it on our own
@adirat I am SO jealous of your Christmas!! Enjoy the relaxing day. I agree it's ok to not be totally thrilled and optimistic. Guard your heart for sure
@RVAmom315 I hope one good swimmer hung on for the long run and made it's way in! GL!
@halfanewt wow that sounds like a super frustrating start!! I asked my doc about any restrictions leading into all of this and he didn't give me much. He suggested no booze since it's just unnecessary calories but he said anything else that's healthy lifestyle related, he wouldn't stop me from doing. I guess it'lll depend on your doc and how comfortable you are physically to keep up.
@AlohaKumu stick baby stick!! Enjoy your parties coming up!
@darkstar42 good luck! I personally liked testing before the beta just so their news wasn't a shocker if it was negative.
@Sailing_Mama GL this cycle! And enjoy your little getaway!!
@jaylii I'm on the "get your husband a SA ASAP" train! That's our issue and if I would have waited, we would have been pushed back a couple more months until he was checked.
@kiwi2628 girl, your GTKY - perfect and so so true.
@Avrilmai love your GTKY too! And I really hoping clomid was the magic that you needed!
@zwink1 I hope the new job eases up a bit!
@jrm_14 I told my manager what was going on and I'm glad I did. The bloodwork and ultrasounds and appts just took over my life and I was late pretty often. I thought she'd be all rigid about it but was much better than I ever expected. If you don't want to just flat out tell them, I'd just let them know that you're going to have some dr appts coming up in the next month or two and just wanted to give them a notice that you may be absent here and there.
@shortstack930 I hope your appt goes well on Friday.
@beachbunnyxo123 Good luck with your call!! Based on the calendar they gave me, stims should start Jan 19 or 20th and then ER should be the week of 1/29

ndz2018 · December 2017

@beachbunnyxo123 I was buggin out the same exact way! When I did My day 3 blood work and ultrasound this Sunday around 10am they called by 130 to tell me what to take. I know It seems super overwhelming right now but relax and try not the stress they’ll let you know what to give and when to give it, they really can’t give you a definite answer till they get that CD3 bloodwork back and see your ultrasound, they can assume but until they see it you’re probably gonna have to wait till then to know 100% what you’re taking. Like for example, initially they were like oh you’ll be taking 10 units of the low dose HCG , but when they got my blood work back they want me to take 20 units. Also the pharmacy went over everything with me too.

RVAmom315 · December 2017

@beachbunnyxo123 GL with your phone consult tomorrow! I hope you get everything sorted out so you feel more at ease with the process. AFM, I'll probably do 2 IUIs - one with the protocol that the new RE wants (similar to IUI #1 protocol, but more on one med and less on the other) and then maybe see if he wants to switch anything up for a 2nd IUI with him (third overall). I think I'll make a FULL decision after we get the results from DH's sample for the IUI, since they'll be checking morph for the first time since June. I think if the morph is still 0, we may just move on and not do the 2nd IUI with the new RE. If it's up to normal, or close to it, we may do another IUI or two. I think it all depends on that morph number.

jrm_14 · December 2017

@shortstack930 @SkilledSailor Yoga is so helpful! I’m going to look into finding a new studio this week as I’m more motivated by getting out of the house.
@50wife @madspunk Thank you for the work suggestions. Unfortunately, my HR is a 1 person show and is even less helpful/easier to go to.
@beachbunnyxo123 I’m sorry about the stress of the trigger shot possibly expiring before you trigger, on top of everything else. I hope that your call goes well and leaves you’ve ith more clarity and peace.

We we will be moving to IUI hopefully next cycle. I have a phone call with the RE on Friday. The HSG showed clear tubes. The lab results went to my pt portal yesterday. It looks like my AMH is borderline (1.5) and DHEA and testosterone were extremely low. My vit d level is finally normal- 6 months ago it was at 12. It was 35!

SkilledSailor · December 2017

@zwink1 Hope you're able to find some time for yourself amidst the craziness! Even if it just means going to bed early with a favorite book.

@jrm_14 That's so exciting you get to start IUIs so soon! I've heard some women are able to raise AMH a bit with Ubiquinol. I'm sure others here will have tips on all your results though!

@shortstack930 Congratulations on the weight loss! What a great feeling!

@50wife *hugs* Sorry you have so much going on! That's a good mentality you have going though.

jrm_14 · December 2017

@SkilledSailor I stated CoQ10 about 3 months ago, though was doing ubiqunone (sp?). I am switching to ubiqunol today and hoping it helps.

Redpuma119 · December 2017

@skilledsailor I’ve also had months where I had two opportunities to get pregnant. Those are hard moments. Hugs.

@madspunk High five to your body this month! Good luck on Friday!

@businesswife I totally understand that “not bubbly” feeling. It’s almost like we’ve been robbed of some of the joy. I am sending you all the good juju for your transfer! And so many hugs.

@adirat Hugs my friend. You amaze me. I hope this is your cycle. And also, your Homer gif cracked me up.

@alhakumu I’m glad your FET went well. So cute that your H is loving on your stomach.

@RVAmom313 We have a hard time getting the BEST timing that we could. At this point, timed intercourse is not fun. At all.

@darkstar42 I think a lot of us can relate to having this take over our lives. I’m sorry that you’re feeling down. If it were me, I would test. I think I would want to know before I received a call from the DR.

@sailing_mama Yay for good timing. Enjoy your time in Seattle. I have business in Seattle at the beginning of the year, so I have been looking at new restaurants.. there are some good ones!

@avrilmai What is this podcast? Is it like an audiobook?

@jaylii welcome, and I hope you get some answers soon

@kiwi2628 I loved your GTKY. It’s so easy to become overwhelmed and forget how fortunate we are. Thank you for posting that.

@shortstack930 I love your post. You’ve accepted IVf, and are learning how to administer meds. Youre distracted by holidays, and you’re in jeans that you haven’t been in for years. Yas girl.

@50wife Good luck starting IVF. No one wants to have to do that, but it sounds like mentally you are in a good place. Are nutrition consults always given? I haven’t ever heard of that. I like it though.

@beachbunnyxo123 What an ordeal. Hope the call went well today.

Redpuma119 · December 2017

Diagnosis (If you've been): PCOM, High Prolactin, High AMH, Fragile X Carrier

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Going in for some bw this week to see what my prolactin is doing. I am also starting the 3rd cycle with Femara. I set up an apt with my RE to make plans for what we will do if this cycle isn't successful. I just told the nurse that I didn't want to wait until this cycle didn't work to schedule an appointment however many weeks out, only to have to maybe wait for a specific day on the next cycle. Basically, we'd be missing out on too many cycles. I'm getting old. Got no time for that. I was lucky enough to get an appointment the first week of January, which is in the middle of this cycle. We might do one more with femara, so it gives us time to plan.

How are things going? Good, actually. I am at peace with what is happening. I know in my heart that femara won't work. I am just ready to decide the next course of action, plan for whatever we need to do, and get on with it. I told my husband that I am just ready to start IUIs or IVF.

Any questions? None at the moment, but I always think of some as the week goes on.

GTKY: How are you going to practice self-care this holiday season? @adirat I love this one! I am a bit of a workaholic, and always need to make sure that things are perfect. This month I have been taking things a little bit slower, and not freaking out if I'm not at work all day long. I am planning on taking Thursday through January 3rd off, which will be so good for me.

50Wife · December 2017

@Redpuma119 yea apparently it's part of their protocol. If you don't do the nutrition consult then you don't move forward with IVF. Works for me! I'm willing to listen and see what she says-whatever I can do to make my body more ready, I'm willing (well, I'll do my best bc I love carbs and this mostly protein diet is hard)
wow enjoy your time off!! Sounds like it's much needed!!

kiwi2628 · December 2017

@shortstack930 @beachbunnyxo123 @50wife @KristoKekerooni I am so excited for all of us to be doing IVF next month! Its almost here!

madspunk · December 2017

@RedPuma119 I'm glad you were able to get in your appointment to discuss next steps with your RE, and that you are feeling at peace with what is happening right now. I feel like peace is the best I can ask for, besides getting KU of course. I'm also a workaholic/perfectionist and have been trying to cut it back lately. Enjoy your time off and relax!

adirat · December 2017

@Redpuma119 While I have my fingers crossed this round will work for you, I'm so happy to hear you have a plan in place you can feel good about.

@50wife Report back on the nutrition consult -- many of us including me would like to learn from you!

Augusta108 · December 2017

Checking in a little late this week! I'm planning to get back on this evening to comment on others' posts, LTs for all for now!

Diagnosis (If you've been): Low AMH, DH has low testosterone and low SA numbers across the board

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Just finished up my part of the testing for now. DH will repeat his SA at the end of the month and will also do his genetic carrier screening at that time.

How are things going? : I had my ultrasound yesterday and they didn't find any new reasons for concern, which was a huge relief. My lining is good and my ovaries are gearing up for ovulation, albeit with fewer follicles than would be ideal (6 on one and 2 on the other). When I spoke to the RE's office, the nurse practitioner said that they definitely think we still have reason for hope, but they recommend moving straight to IVF. (Assuming DH's second SA results come back the same--otherwise insurance may insist on trying other things first.) So we're now moving forward with getting an IVF consult scheduled. Emotionally, I'm doing much better than I was over the weekend. Intimidating as IVF is (and it is super intimidating!), it helps a lot to know they still think we have a chance and to have a plan I can focus on.

Any questions? : I think for the moment I don't actually have any!

GTKY: How are you going to practice self-care this holiday season? : My big thing so far has been giving myself permission to say "No" to holiday parties, which is a suggestion I heard on the Beat Infertility podcast. I'm a pretty shy introvert, so parties are fairly stressful for me anyway, but they're especially hard right now. It's been amazing how liberating it feels to just RSVP "No" and not allow myself to feel guilty about it. I also made a list of the holiday traditions that mean the most to me personally and am making sure I check them off as we go through the month!

KariAnn323 · December 2017

@SkilledSailor I'm sorry. Passing milestones of when you thought you'd have a baby by then is so difficult.
@madspunk Yay for good progesterone levels!
@adirat I'm glad you're taking care of yourself and having a nice quiet Christmas.
@beachbunnyxo123 Ugh, I'm sorry about the communication issues with your RE's office. FX they get their sh_t together.
@Sailing_Mama Have a great trip to Seattle!
@Avrilmai Thinking about you
@zwink1 YES! 2017 can get the f out of here
@Augusta108 I'm so glad that you guys have a plan
@KristoKekerooni Thank you for saying that, sometimes it feels like I should be excited but at the end of the day I'd rather be pessimistic and bitter and guard my heart than expect success and have to deal with the resulting failure.

Diagnosis (If you've been): LPD

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) 1,000 mg metformin + 50mg Clomid + TI

How are things going? Hot flashes have gone away (or at least they're not making me wake up in the middle of the night). Have a follie check in about an hour. Trying to keep my expectations in check and not feel guilty for not wanting to be excited.

Any questions? No, but I'm sure I will after the u/s.

GTKY: How are you going to practice self-care this holiday season? I usually bake 7-8 different kinds of cookies, but this year I'm only making 4, and for the most part they're pretty easy to make. We're having another couple over for NYE. They are also having troubles TTC so she and I are focusing on making the most fabulous dinner ever to distract us. Right now we're going with lamb for the main dish (https://www.thespruce.com/roasted-butterflied-leg-of-lamb-481355). I'll also need to find some fancy cocktails. Oh and I found a dessert to take to my SIL's for Christmas day (https://www.completelydelicious.com/mascarpone-cranberry-tart-pecan-crust/)

KristoKekerooni · December 2017

@KariAnn323 - I won't pretend to know what that feels in terms of IVF, but I do understand the pessimistic and guarding nature in general, after 43 cycles and too many losses. I've never succeeded at not being attached to a pregnancy, but I have succeeded in not being hopeful about cycles anymore, and while that is sad, it does help me live. For a long time I lived cycle to cycle. I think it was really similar to living paycheck to paycheck- You can't go out an do anything fun (because what if I'm pregnant and mess it up?), you can't save for a vacation or anything (because what if I need that money for the RE or for the baby?), and you get heartbroken every single time you don't see what you want. It's hard. I can't say I will approach IVF the same way, since I definitely have hope, but at this point I am jaded enough, and I know those with failed cycles are jaded enough, that there is a natural guarding... and that comes in the form of pessimism. I'm not sure if it's possible to be both hopeful and guarded. I don't believe it is. But contrary to the whole "have hope" and "hope is all you have" BS, I think it's totally fine to feel whatever the hell you feel. And if that's having a completely negative attitude, so be it. the embryos can't hear you. They have no idea that you keep telling yourself it won't work. They don't feel your tears. And even though well-wishes say different, they don't feel your stress. For stress to negatively impact you, we know it takes a huge, PTSD amount of stress. So stress. So be negative. so cry yourself to sleep if that's what you do. I like to say that may baby will grow in whatever condition I am in that moment, and she'll be watered with my tears. Because it's true. I've cried so much at this point, when I finally get a viable LO, she'll have plenty of sustenance.

Sorry for the novel... I just think you're allowed to feel what you feel, period.

KariAnn323 · December 2017

AFM: One follie, only 5mm

Avrilmai · December 2017

@50Wife I have everything crossed for you! I'm still a little dumbfounded at 19! vials of blood, I would probably pass out.
@beachbunnyxo123 thinking of you today. I hope the phone call goes well.
@Redpuma119 So glad to hear you have a plan and are feeling somewhat at peace. The podcast follows the books chapter by chapter and they explore a theme in each chapter, so the first podcast is the first chapter of Sorcerer's Stone and they explore the theme of commitment. Chapter 2 is loneliness chapter 3 fear...and so on. I started it and only listened to the first podcast because I decided I wanted to read along. They're currently on Book 4 chapter 11 so there is a lot of time to go.
@Augusta108 glad to hear the u/s went well
@KariAnn323 thanks lady, I'm always thinking of you too. Hope the follie check goes well.

kiwi2628 · December 2017

@KariAnn323 sorry theres only one. I can't remember what CD you are. Did your RE have a plan, or is this where he expected you to be?

KariAnn323 · December 2017

@kiwi2628 I'm on cd12 today. I'm waiting to hear back from my OB. I had the u/s done at a different clinic in the same hospital system since his office was booked.

ndz2018 · December 2017

@KariAnn323 Deep Breathes it only takes one! I know you were hoping for more . I’m so sorry. My co workers wife went through IUIs , IVF and back to IUI. When she had her last IUI she only had 1 and guess what ? TW they have a 9 year old daughter now end TW. Sending you fertile vibes girl !

@Augusta108 Glad your US went well and you’re moving forward with testing

AFM, went for US and blood work today they’re seeing 10 follicle on the right and 10 on the left. He didn’t tell me measurements

but today is only day 4 of injections so I’m hoping they grow. Waiting for the nurse to call with BW results and see what we’re doing moving forward.

Redpuma119 · December 2017

@50wife I'm with @adirat Let us know how that goes! I really like that.

@avrilmai I am going to have to check that out! Thanks!

@kristokekerooni You are so good at putting feelings into words. So eloquent. I hate that you've had this experience but I admire you for your honesty and your outlook. Hugs

@kariann323 Fingers crossed that things improve!

adirat · December 2017

@KristoKekerooni You are a hero among us. Bravo.

beachbunnyxo123 · December 2017

KristoKekerooni said:

@KariAnn323 - I won't pretend to know what that feels in terms of IVF, but I do understand the pessimistic and guarding nature in general, after 43 cycles and too many losses. I've never succeeded at not being attached to a pregnancy, but I have succeeded in not being hopeful about cycles anymore, and while that is sad, it does help me live. For a long time I lived cycle to cycle. I think it was really similar to living paycheck to paycheck- You can't go out an do anything fun (because what if I'm pregnant and mess it up?), you can't save for a vacation or anything (because what if I need that money for the RE or for the baby?), and you get heartbroken every single time you don't see what you want. It's hard. I can't say I will approach IVF the same way, since I definitely have hope, but at this point I am jaded enough, and I know those with failed cycles are jaded enough, that there is a natural guarding... and that comes in the form of pessimism. I'm not sure if it's possible to be both hopeful and guarded. I don't believe it is. But contrary to the whole "have hope" and "hope is all you have" BS, I think it's totally fine to feel whatever the hell you feel. And if that's having a completely negative attitude, so be it. the embryos can't hear you. They have no idea that you keep telling yourself it won't work. They don't feel your tears. And even though well-wishes say different, they don't feel your stress. For stress to negatively impact you, we know it takes a huge, PTSD amount of stress. So stress. So be negative. so cry yourself to sleep if that's what you do. I like to say that may baby will grow in whatever condition I am in that moment, and she'll be watered with my tears. Because it's true. I've cried so much at this point, when I finally get a viable LO, she'll have plenty of sustenance.

Sorry for the novel... I just think you're allowed to feel what you feel, period.

girrrlllll, once again, preach. As my husband would say “you nailed it like a split hog” haha I don’t know why he even says that but it makes me laugh. For real though the paycheck to paycheck analogy hit me hard. That’s exactly how I’ve been living since we first started TTC in June of 2015. Damn this put a lot into perspective for me!

beachbunnyxo123 · December 2017

@ndz2018 do you have 2 follicles that are 10mm or do you have 10 follicles on each side? I was confused by your post I might just be reading it wrong

@kiwi2628 yasss girl me too!!

@Redpuma119 good for you advocating for yourself and getting things set up for no delays!!

@KariAnn323 do you usually O late or have annovulatory cycles? I know this is your first medicated cycle but I’m surprised the follie isn’t further along in size.

AFM so I had the phone consult today and it went well. We talked for about an hour. I’m doing an antagonist protocol and he anticipates about 8-14 eggs for my retrieval based on my AMH and AFC count. He said he’s okay with light exercise like walking on treadmill or elliptical during stims until AF arrives after retrieval and then I can get back into workout mode. After my retrieval we are gonna schedule a hysteroscopy for cervical dilation and then an FET to follow probably around late February early March. A little disappointed cause I would like to get the show on the road here so I hope there are no delays with the hysteroscopy and that all goes well. He was surprised my nurse hasn’t called and said he will have her call me today or tomorrow after he tells her all that we discussed. I’m glad to have a better idea of a plan now atleast.

KristoKekerooni · December 2017

@beachbunnyxo123 , I don't really know about the split hog thing, but oh man, I cracked up.

Aurora1973 · December 2017

Better late than never, I suppose...

@KristoKekerooni Nailed it. That is IF in a nutshell, I think.

@beachbunnyxo123 and @redpuma119, so glad you both have a planl! I know you've been frustrated and scared.

@Augusta108 FX that the next SA goes much better!!

@madspunk So glad to hear about your progesterone levels. It's amazing how much better you feel when your body is cooperating! Hope this is a very good sign for you.

@zwink1 Hope the time flies!

@jaylii Welcome! Hope your stay here is short!

AFM:

Diagnosis: DOR, AMA

I think I may be the only one over 40 left in this thread:

Image result for bueller gif

(but I am beyond super thrilled for our graduate...miss you already, @laurad75

)

Status: TWW

What are you doing this cycle: Just did an at-home "turkey baster" insemination this cycle. I want to do a medicated IUI with my RE, and he wants to update testing, so in the interim, I'm just trucking along. Also, finally got a referral for my long-overdue HSG. Hopefully I will be able to schedule that for early January before I O again in my next cycle. My OB told me to wait 48 hours to call to schedule for the referral to go in, so I'll know more at the end of the week.

How is it going: Fine. I'm trying to guard my heart, but can't help hoping for a Christmas miracle. I will be at 13DPO on Christmas, so it will be great or awful. Oh, and we're having brunch at DSS's mom's house, and as much as we get along, if I've had a stream of BFNs, I'm not going to enjoy hanging out with the woman who did get to have OH's baby...

I'll be doing my best not to ruin my own holiday...

Any questions: Nope

GTKY: Well, I'm sure the above doesn't sound promising in terms of self-care, but I am still trying to take care of me. I've been trying to listen to my hypnosis/meditations on Audible, continuing with acupuncture, and we said no to a family invitation that we would love to have said yes to...but it's just too much with all the running around and trading custody of DSS since his birthday is right before Christmas, too. It was a healthy choice for us not to extend ourselves too far. I'm also taking Friday off to wrap presents and generally get ready, but my real goal is to take a nice hike by myself, which is one of my favorite things that I haven't done in far too long.

ndz2018 · December 2017

@beachbunnyxo123 10 follicle on each side , so 20 little follicles all together. Spoke to the nurse and staying with same meds as the last 3 nights .. reaccess Friday. Come on you little snowflakes GROW!! Glad your consult went well!! Sounds like a good plan! I hear you on getting the show on the road! I need that surgery Jan 22nd, then heal and we we’re looking at March , maybe even April

Augusta108 · December 2017

I wasn't kidding about coming back for comments! Here I go:

@SkilledSailor, I hear you too on the emotional pain of realizing that certain milestones are going to come without a BFP. Barring some miracle, I'm almost certainly going to turn 35 in March before I get to even have a good shot at getting pregnant. It is definitely hard to adjust your expectations away from the timeline you first wanted.
@madspunk, I'm so glad the cycle seems to be going well! Sending lots of good vibes your way for Friday!
@BusinessWife, sending you good vibes as well for your transfer! I'm glad you have the week off work so you can pamper yourself beforehand.
@ndz2018, getting all the toxic thoughts and people out of your life sounds like a good goal! I've been trying to be better about shielding myself from toxic people lately, especially at work...mixed results so far.
@adirat, I'm sorry you're feeling so down. A nice quiet Christmas sounds like a great idea, I'm glad you're not pushing yourself to do more than you feel up to right now.
@beachbunnyxo123, that sounds like a stressful start to the week! I'm relieved for you that the phone consult today went well and you're feeling more confident about things going forward. Hopefully they can get the nurse to call you soon!
@RVAMom315, I'm sorry you didn't get the timing you wanted this cycle, but that does sound like a nice weekend of relaxing and recharging on your own a bit. I'm enjoying a mini version of that tonight while DH is off playing Magic with his friends!
@halfanewt, I'm glad the RE redeemed herself, I would have been very frustrated by all that too! And yay for other positive news in your life to help a bit with the weight of all this.
@AlohaKumu, I am so excited for you and am hoping so hard that this FET is a success!
@darkstar42, FX that you get good news at your beta next week. I can understand the dilemma about whether to test beforehand or not and I have no idea what I would do in your situation. I think I would try to not test, but I know it would be really hard to hold out.
@Sailing_Mama, have fun in Seattle! I have family there and we always really enjoy visiting. So much beautiful scenery out there!
@jaylii, I'm sorry you're having a rough time right now. Passing the six cycle marker was hard for me too. DH and I did the same thing with Christmas cards this year--We just sent a few out to the people closest to us and didn't worry about the rest.
@Avrilmai, I'm jealous you learned to knit this year. I've tried so many times and I just can't get the hang of it. Classes don't work, friends can't help, all I ever do is get my yarn tangled up. For some reason earlier this year I decided that, despite this, maybe I would be able to learn how to crochet, but no, no luck there either. I'll have to stick to cross-stitch.
@kiwi2628, your GTKY answer is great. I've been trying to do something similar to lift my spirits, as I know there's still an awful lot of good in my life regardless of the major speed bump we've just hit.
@zwink1, 2017 has definitely been a doozy! Here's hoping 2018 brings only good things and peace to your life.
@jrm_14, I hope you can get things worked out with the timing of the IUI and work. We just had a change at my workplace where it looks like I'm going to have to ask for time off from a really unsympathetic coworker who's now in charge of our desk schedule instead of my boss (who's been through IF treatments herself), and I am Not Happy about it. Crossing that bridge when I come to it, though...
@shortstack930, exciting that you're getting so close to starting IVF! And that's awesome that you've lost enough weight to fit into jeans that old. I'm working on that but am still a ways away from 2012 for sure!
@50Wife, 19 vials of blood, wow! I had 7 drawn last week and insisted on sympathy from everyone I told about it. Sounds like one day I might miss the days of only 7!
@Redpuma119, I'm glad you're at peace with how things are going and are feeling ready to take the next steps if this cycle doesn't work out. FX for you this time around, though!
@KariAnn323, ugh, I'm so sorry the U/S didn't bring you better news. FX things improve by the next time they check.
@Aurora1973, FX for you on Christmas! What meditations do you do using Audible? I've been thinking about starting to try to meditate and I do have some Audible credits to spend...

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