Ramzi theory?

ssthomps · December 2017

amys614 · December 2017

*lurking from June* Just to see how this pans out.

@ecwk love the gif.

@MLS6212 I'm heading back to our mean potty mouths too.

ecwk · December 2017

daniellem-22 said:

Very surprised by the amount of negativity in this thread. I guess I fail to see how a "Just for fun" thread on the Ramzi theory (which is pretty popular on most other communities) is any different then let's say a "movie thread". Putting science aside, isn't that what most communities are here for? For women with something common, in this case "pregnancy", to talk with other women..to get to know one another, ask questions, to support each other, and to find something to pass the time since I think most of us can agree pregnancies start off pretty slow. It's not any different than really a lot of these other threads that are going on right now, and I think that most of us can agree are for fun. Some aren't even pregnancy related. This thread isn't technically against the TOU if you read it. I have no problem with the multiple threads out there- I comment in the ones I"m interested in and pass the ones I'm not-as I'm sure most people do, but it made me feel very uncomfortable to come into this thread to see other women treating each other poorly. I guess I'm just trying to play devil's advocate here, but I feel like tone of this thread definitely went south, and we really should be supporting each other. Pregnancy is already hard enough.

I'm not really sure what you're looking for here. If this thread makes you uncomfortable then maybe The Bump isn't the best fit of a forum for you? We don't "put science aside" which is IMO, what sets TB apart from all the other forums. I see you only joined TB earlier this month so maybe you haven't been exposed to this sort of reaction before but speaking from experience, this is actually pretty mild.

msmonalisavito · December 2017

Support doesn't equate to head pats. It doesn't mean handholding. It doesn't mean sacrificing the good of the group as a whole (ya know, the community) just to appease a few people.

Also, I love the hypocrisy that we shouldn't be telling anyone how/what to post. Yet you literally just told people to "scroll by and don't comment" if they don't want to participate.

Pot meet kettle.

princesslockness · December 2017

I have nothing to add, but @ecwk @lakesideknitter @msmonalisavito and anyone I missed, Thank you for handling this so well and fairly flame-free.

daniellem-22 · December 2017

@ecwk The responses towards a fellow member is what makes me uncomfortable not the thread itself. You're right- if this is how other members are treated then this forum might not be the best fit for me. This is the first community that I have been apart of that really behaves this way. Not sure what science has really anything to do with it tbh..I mean you have a Chinese Gender Prediction thread-but ok. I don't see how this is different unless she was trying to give medical advice. However you look at it- it's still a community of women, and we don't have to be rude with each other. That is all.

@msmonalisavito Sacrificing the good of the group? I really have no idea where you are going with this. Seems a bit dramatic. This was just a thread created by a fellow member who I'm sure didn't have bad intentions nor was she giving medical advice. It was just a fun thread (not against TOU) just like most of the other threads that were created. I never said what people could and couldn't post- I think the TOU describes that just fine. I just don't think that people should jump into a thread just to be hateful.

I'm leaving this thread- I don't like to see other women bashing on other women. We are all adults. Have a great rest of your day, ladies.

stillcozy · December 2017

*lurker*
bravo most of August I'm looking at you @ecwk and @msmonalisavito.

hey @rosettesandstripes you want to talk crap about a board that was kind and welcoming to you even though you posted a speshul snowflake post about moving here. people were nice and kind and even supported you staying there. That's okay though you can stay here now. We don't people who want to trash a board that was nothing but nice to them

princesslockness · December 2017

daniellem-22 said:

snipped**** .

@msmonalisavito Sacrificing the good of the group? I really have no idea where you are going with this. Seems a bit dramatic. This was just a thread created by a fellow member who I'm sure didn't have bad intentions nor was she giving medical advice. It was just a fun thread (not against TOU) just like most of the other threads that were created. I never said what people could and couldn't post- I think the TOU describes that just fine. I just don't think that people should jump into a thread just to be hateful.

The good of the group part is that there are 3, that I have seen, loss threads. For every non-science or daily thread we have, one of those threads can get pushed off the front page. Which being on mobile for the foreseeable future, is a problem as the app isn’t working to let me see anything other than the first page in any group.

Absolutely nothing(IMHO) is more important than helping those who are currently experiencing a loss. Second to that is science. Having threads that go against anything science based is not a welcome thing on TB. Those of us who have been here, or care to lurk other boards know that science is the only way to go. Maybe it hurts to hear things now, but it’s 100% better than blowing smoke up someones ass that a counselor might have to undo later.

stillcozy · December 2017

@rosettesandstripes I also think it's time to admit you made some false statements my dear you were not only on July for a week. How silly of you claim when you have been posting there since November 27th up until this week. Good try though

offtoneverland · December 2017

I've been dying to use this gif since watching Guardians of the Galaxy 2.

daniellem-22 · December 2017

@princesslockness As someone who has experienced multiple losses and has even made one of those posts, I agree with you that nothing is more important. But I also think that women who are hateful towards other women deter others from joining who might need that community. When I had my losses, I needed to reach out to others, I "needed" that hand-holding that others are saying this community doesn't do. Some of these threads that I guess are deemed as "non-science", did you think that maybe this helps women who are PGAL keep their mind off of thinking about other things during that slow-going first trimester? These can be good distractions and can give hope. I know that they did for me on multiple occasions.

I don't care what anyone says- communities are about support. If you people here can't provide that- it isn't me that's the problem-- it's them. It doesn't matter if someone has been here for years or just joined.

I know I said I was leaving the thread, but I think I'm also leaving this community. I came here to see strong women offering support not bringing each other down like we are in high school. As someone who is PGAL, it hurts to see how poorly women treat each other in a community that's geared to NOT do that. Even watching members from other groups join into the bashing-how sad.

Good luck to all of the future mammas out there- may you have healthy pregnancies and births!

ecwk · December 2017

doxiemoxie212 · December 2017

Lurkers gonna lurk

If people only every spew rainbows and glitter, and hold your hand/pat you on the back no matter what, it ceases to function as support. To feel supported, you also need to feel that you can trust that those supporting you will also be honest with you. If you just want someone to agree with you and tell you you're right, that's not support; that's robotic validation.

And criticism doesn't mean bashing. Criticism is a way of saying, I see you, I hear you, and I think you're going a little astray here. To me, criticism is often another form of support. No one ever criticizes someone they fail to even notice - there's a fair amount of caring involved.

stassischroeder · December 2017

Lurkers lurking. Lurkers eeeeerverywhere.

Thank you, Aug18 for providing some much needed entertainment today!

@ecwk @MLS6212 @msmonalisavito Well done ladies!

My fav part was how someone who's posted on TB all of 20 times felt like lecturing everyone on what this community is supposed to be like.

BumpAdmin · December 2017

This thread has been closed to new posts due to the discussion’s unwelcoming tone. Continuing to create threads related to this topic will be grounds for warning and/or removal from The Bump Community.

Please note that we remove posts that do not follow our guidelines and will issue warnings to users who violate the Terms of Use.

To review our Community guidelines, please visit the The Bump Guidelines pinned at the top of this board. Thank you.

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