@ekendall09 unless there was cramping and bleeding, I wouldnt say anything until I had my next appointment. Just keep an eye out for baby movement. Out of all places, back is a "good place" to hit and baby is well protected. Sorry for your fall!
@ekendall09 It doesn't hurt to call! I slid down the last few steps the other day but didn't call because I didn't hit my belly.
@knuttyplus2 Are you in an at-will employment state? When would you start? I think you could tell them you're pregnant and ask more questions about their maternity leave policies when you call to accept the offer. You don't happen to know anyone who works there who could snoop for you?
Here's a tough one: Have a job offer at 21w that I really want to accept, but I am not eligible for FMLA nor any state protected leave. While the employer can't not offer me the job nor withdraw it because I am pregnant, at what point do I tell them? And then they can replace me if I take leave. I'd like to think every employer will work with you, but really....start two months then ask for 12 weeks leave? I don't need paid leave, but I want to know I have a job when I get back. I suspect I will just have to take the risk that they will understand, but I just don't feel good about it. Any advice? Ugh.
@Knuttyplus2 This is a tough situation. I'd be tempted to tell them upon starting. Is there a serious concern that they would replace you while on leave? I second what another poster asked, does the company have any maternity benefits at all for which you would qualify?
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014! DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
I am so jealous of all the movement yall are feeling. I have an AP and have felt very little.
Edit: words, am I right?
Don't feel too terribly jealous. I am either carrying a break dancer or a horse that never sleeps. It's cute and exciting until you are trying to sleep, or are into hour 8 of the kiddo trying to pickaxe their way out of the same spot.
Another anterior placenta here and the only movement I feel is literally kicks to the cervix! I’ve even watched (and felt) her do it during the ultrasound and dang it hurts!!!
@knuttyplus2 I have been wondering the same thing. I actually have an interview on December 13th for a job I really want but the timing is obviously not ideal to be starting a new job. I think my plan is to disclose my pregnancy if I get an offer and then see if they will agree to at least unpaid maternity leave in the contract. If not, I may have to decline the position. I don’t have an offer yet though so I may not have to worry about it. I work part time right now and I’m on my husband’s health insurance, so at least I don’t have to worry about losing health benefits if I do start a new job. I’m sure this is an issue that comes up for people, there must be some sort of protocol.
@ekendall09 I was hanging some garland on a window and fell off the chair I was standing on last week. My provider just told me to watch for spotting and keep an eye on movement for the following week. Baby is fine. Mama just has a bruised butt cheek. Hope you're not too sore!
DH(27) + Me (27) = 1/14 Baby #1: Aug. 2016 Baby #2: April 1st, 2018
@knuttyplus2 I have been wondering the same thing. I actually have an interview on December 13th for a job I really want but the timing is obviously not ideal to be starting a new job. I think my plan is to disclose my pregnancy if I get an offer and then see if they will agree to at least unpaid maternity leave in the contract. If not, I may have to decline the position. I don’t have an offer yet though so I may not have to worry about it. I work part time right now and I’m on my husband’s health insurance, so at least I don’t have to worry about losing health benefits if I do start a new job. I’m sure this is an issue that comes up for people, there must be some sort of protocol.
Thanks everyone...I've not been able to see their leave policies yet, but good idea to see if they offer something to other groups. I am in an at will state. I'm leaning towards telling them my first day rather than the offer stage, but yes, worse case, I may have to return "early", but when you have twins, leave is so much more complicated!!
@ekendall09 I fell last pregnancy, the same way. On my butt, down a few stairs, and all was well. Although the next day I was super sore, so I called. Glad you are ok!!
Thanks everyone...I've not been able to see their leave policies yet, but good idea to see if they offer something to other groups. I am in an at will state. I'm leaning towards telling them my first day rather than the offer stage, but yes, worse case, I may have to return "early", but when you have twins, leave is so much more complicated!!
Did you have an in person interview? Just curious because with having twins I would think they could kind of tell you are pregnant?
@icalynn I have a fibroid that grew with my first and now second pregnancy. Weirdly enough, it’s not growing quite as big the second time around. It is pedunculated (hanging off the side). It caused no problems and baby turned without issue. They kept an eye on it throughout the pregnancy and I had a later ultrasound around 32 weeks. I don’t recall the exact size but for the first it got pretty big. If the doctors aren’t concerned, I wouldn’t worry about it.
Hi ladies. I was wondering if STMs could share their experiences good or bad about flying in the third trimester. My pregnancy has been really healthy, so I don't think the doctor is going to give me a hard time. But I may have several flights throughout January, as am interviewing around the country. Does anyone have any experiences it advice?
@lindsye I flew a couple times in my third without any issue. One out of the country. I was actually cleared to fly a month before my due date, however I opted out of that trip. I say as long as you get the clear and it’s not a long flight (10+ hrs) I would say it’s fine. Heck I was on a flight from Paris to Newark and three hours in a woman went into labor. Delivered on board. We had to make a landing in Newfoundland. Even that was fine haha although not ideal!
@linds0503 Ive been stressing about this too. Ive seen such varied information. Some sources say not to worry until 36wks if you havent had any risk factors for premature delivery. I think some airlines have bans after something like 30wks and require a note from MD if you are obviously showing. Hoping it won't be an issue because I have a flight from Houston to nashville and then back at 32 wks. As long as you have an MD note I don't see how they can demand to know how far along you are or prevent you from boarding.
@linds0503 I flew in very early third tri with my DD1, and it was nbd. I did elect to wear a face mask on the flights because it was smack in the middle of flu and cold season. I personally wouldn't fly later than that due to the discomfort (leg swelling, sitting in one position long, frequency of bathroom trips, hurrying between gates).
@JJMNO1616 yes, two in person interviews. They certainly stayed in the bounds of the law and didn't ask, but I thought I hid it fairly well with a one button black blazer. Or they may think I have a beer belly It's so hard to know. I can't pass up the offer so I think I will let them know day 1 and take it from there.
@linds0503 I would also suggest calling your doc ahead of time to see if they have any specific instructions. Some like for you to take a baby aspirin on travel days. My OB office advised me to take one for any flights or any drive over 3 hours. I’m sure each office is different but definitely check their guidelines.
Me (33). DH (37). DD (2.2012). MCs x4. After 4 years & 7 months, due 4.2018!
@linds0503 I flew up to 32 weeks without issue for work. I don’t think I even checked with my doctor but went off my own comfort. I’d probably personally go to 36 weeks assuming I’d had no complications or issues.
Thank you ladies. It is good to hear there aren't any horror stories out there about airlines demanding you not fly. I will check in with my doctor and get a note at the next appointment, just to be certain.
@linds0503 how late do you plan on traveling? Is January your last planned trip?
I never ran into issues with airlines (but I only traveled early 3rd trimester <30 weeks) and my OB cleared me for air travel until 36 weeks. However I will add that once I got to about 32-34 weeks sitting for extended periods of time was extremely uncomfortable. I know I would have been miserable trying to fly at that stage for the sitting discomfort alone, let alone the other logistical considerations @Ngolimento pointed out.
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014! DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
@angiek1 I feel like you, barely any pain with DS until the very end but this baby is sooooo low, he’s probably hanging in my vagina!! I’m kind of losing hope he will get higher
@linds0503 I flew several times including to the West Coast and Europe from NYC in the 3rd trimester. It was fine. Get up often to walk around and my doctor suggested baby aspirin on the flight. I also wore compression socks to help with swelling feet.
Has anyone had bacterial vaginosis this pregnancy or prior ones? I noticed more discharge the last few weeks and mentioned it at my appointment today. Doctor took a swab and said it was BV. She didn’t seem overly concerned and explained it’s a Ph imbalance. She prescribed a vaginal gel to be used for five nights and that was it. Then I came home and consulted dr google...and the horror stories presented themselves. Why the heck do I google?! I should know better!!!!
Has anyone had bacterial vaginosis this pregnancy or prior ones? I noticed more discharge the last few weeks and mentioned it at my appointment today. Doctor took a swab and said it was BV. She didn’t seem overly concerned and explained it’s a Ph imbalance. She prescribed a vaginal gel to be used for five nights and that was it. Then I came home and consulted dr google...and the horror stories presented themselves. Why the heck do I google?! I should know better!!!!
Yep, i had this with my first, it was irritating my cervix and causing spotting. I was prescribed the gel for added relief, but also an antibiotic. I took the antibiotic and never had to use the gel.
@btm013 I had it with my first pregnancy. Like @sjn00 I was perscribed an oral antibiotic and that took care of things. I would’t worry, the horror stories are typically the result of BV going untreated. You’ll be fine!
@btm013 had it first tri with my DS pregnancy. I was given the gel as I don’t do well on antibiotics because of Crohn’s and had no issues. I think @kmalls is right and untreated BV can cause more problems
Here's a tough one: Have a job offer at 21w that I really want to accept, but I am not eligible for FMLA nor any state protected leave. While the employer can't not offer me the job nor withdraw it because I am pregnant, at what point do I tell them? And then they can replace me if I take leave. I'd like to think every employer will work with you, but really....start two months then ask for 12 weeks leave? I don't need paid leave, but I want to know I have a job when I get back. I suspect I will just have to take the risk that they will understand, but I just don't feel good about it. Any advice? Ugh.
Hi. I had an interview with my first pregnancy. I don't remember how far along I was, but I was definitely further than 20 weeks because I was showing considerably. I thought it was obvious and when they called me to set up the interview I had said something about obviously being pregnant and they still interviewed me and offered me the job. If you already have the offer, it's a little awkward to be like oh yea I'm pregnant, but they cant revoke the offer and your not obligated to tell them, but I would probably tell them shortly after starting. Most employers are too nervous to mess with pregnant women and their jobs, so i would be shocked if they told you they werent holding the position for you while you were out on leave.
@btm013 I had this at the end of 1st trimester. They gave me an oral antibiotic. Mine actually presented itself differently, I have had less discharge than normal but sometimes it was a weird color; which was why I asked.
I have a question about a situation my DH and I
are facing. The backstory: my FIL is getting married before baby arrives, and
he mentioned that his fiancee was curious as to what we were going to call her
once baby arrives. I think the term "grandma" is sacred (I had a wonderful relationship with my grandma), and I feel like my mom and MIL have earned this
title because they have been through so much with us. Our relationship with my
FIL's fiancée is strained for multiple reasons, which I won't detail, but I truly don't feel comfortable calling
his fiancée "grandma" to our baby. They've been dating less than a year for some reference as to how long we've known her. I am guessing based off of history that she would feel upset and extremely insecure if we didn't call
her grandma.
My DH will be seeing his father today and will ask him what she
wants to be called, but if she says she wants to be called grandma, how should
he respond? I want to be kind in the situation, but the whole situation (their relationship in general) feels very wrong to me. Family dynamics are challenging. Thanks in advance!
@dan0081 My grandfather is on marriage number 3. The only person who got the title "grandma" was my actual grandmother. Now, for grandchildren born after him and #2 were married, they called her Gran. Now, only 2 have been born since wife 3, and EVERYONE calls her by name except those two, who call her Emmy (cause the older of the two had trouble saying Mary, so she called her Emmy). Maybe, if she has a nickname LO could call her by that.
@dan0081 do you know what your mother and MIL want to be called? I think often a kid only calls one person in his/her family Grandma just for clarity. If someone has already claimed it, I would just explain to her that you only want one person to go by the title Grandma for clarity for the child and let her know she can pick her own name. My mom goes by nana and didn’t want the Grandma title because it’s so much harder to say; sure enough, our kids typically start saying Nana around the same time they say Mama and Dada (and don’t say Grandma until much later), so you can always use that to “sell” a shorter nickname too.
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@bchalm That's good insight! A nickname could be something we could think about. Today will give us insight because who knows.. maybe she just wants to be called by her first name. @lindsye That's a great question. My mom and MIL have already started calling themselves grandma so I think they'd like to be called that. We are having challenges with the whole situation because of our poor relationship with her so I honestly don't even know if I want her to have a "grandma-like" name. She told my FIL that she is jealous of the time he spends with my DH and I (we've seen him without her 1-2 times in the year they've been dating) and she is jealous of baby coming. This really bothers me because I feel like she is going to make my FIL feel guilty for spending time with our LO when they arrive. He has been hounding us about grandkids since the day we got married, and I feel like she is going to take away that joy from him because she is jealous. It makes me so sad for him and our baby. Maybe I'm just being spiteful and irrational (this is probably true) by just wanting to call her by her first name only. It'll be interesting to hear today from my FIL what she wants to be called.. maybe she does just want to be called by her first name, and I'm totally overreacting. Sorry for the novel, and I appreciate your insight!
Re: Question thread 12/3
Im trying to pay closer attention to baby movement this am
@knuttyplus2 Are you in an at-will employment state? When would you start? I think you could tell them you're pregnant and ask more questions about their maternity leave policies when you call to accept the offer. You don't happen to know anyone who works there who could snoop for you?
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
Baby #1: Aug. 2016
Baby #2: April 1st, 2018
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
Me (33). DH (37). DD (2.2012). MCs x4. After 4 years & 7 months, due 4.2018!
I never ran into issues with airlines (but I only traveled early 3rd trimester <30 weeks) and my OB cleared me for air travel until 36 weeks. However I will add that once I got to about 32-34 weeks sitting for extended periods of time was extremely uncomfortable. I know I would have been miserable trying to fly at that stage for the sitting discomfort alone, let alone the other logistical considerations @Ngolimento pointed out.
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
I was given the gel as I don’t do well on antibiotics because of Crohn’s and had no issues. I think @kmalls is right and untreated BV can cause more problems
My DH will be seeing his father today and will ask him what she wants to be called, but if she says she wants to be called grandma, how should he respond? I want to be kind in the situation, but the whole situation (their relationship in general) feels very wrong to me. Family dynamics are challenging.
@lindsye That's a great question. My mom and MIL have already started calling themselves grandma so I think they'd like to be called that. We are having challenges with the whole situation because of our poor relationship with her so I honestly don't even know if I want her to have a "grandma-like" name. She told my FIL that she is jealous of the time he spends with my DH and I (we've seen him without her 1-2 times in the year they've been dating) and she is jealous of baby coming. This really bothers me because I feel like she is going to make my FIL feel guilty for spending time with our LO when they arrive. He has been hounding us about grandkids since the day we got married, and I feel like she is going to take away that joy from him because she is jealous. It makes me so sad for him and our baby. Maybe I'm just being spiteful and irrational (this is probably true) by just wanting to call her by her first name only. It'll be interesting to hear today from my FIL what she wants to be called.. maybe she does just want to be called by her first name, and I'm totally overreacting. Sorry for the novel, and I appreciate your insight!