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Question thread 12/3

luna8433luna8433 member
in April 2018 Moms
Questions anyone questions? 
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Re: Question thread 12/3

  • luna8433luna8433 member
    This is for the STM+. So I told a lady at church that we are expecting and she said I should have a baby shower for me since we are having a girl and our first is a boy. I didnt say yes or no to the idea, but I always felt baby showers are for the 1st baby. I hate to say yes because all of my family are out of state and wouldn't be able to help or probably even come, so it would mostly be the ladies at church and maybe a few coworkers. Would it be right to say yes even though family can't help? Or should I say no for the same reason?
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  • knutty3knutty3 member
    Say yes if they want to throw you a shower!!  Despite family not being local, the ladies want to celebrate with you and that shouldn't stop you!
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  • ngolimentongolimento member
    Hrm, tough one.  Normally I agree that you shouldn't use unprotected sex to keep soliciting gifts from people.  However, if these ladies never had a chance to attend your first shower, and you don't run the risk of people feeling repeatedly milked, then I don't see a problem with it.  
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  • sjn00sjn00 member
    I think it is more common to do "Sprinkles" for the second child instead of a full baby shower. But im in a similar situation, im having another girl. But my SIL insists i should have another baby shower. We have nearly everything we need for this girl though aside from like 4 or 5 bigger money items that I would feel guilty putting on a registry. We might do a "Book and Diaper party" where gifts are only to be books and/or diapers and a small way to celebrate the new baby sitting around drinking coffee and eating donuts lol, but im not one that likes a lot of attention on me, so unless my MIL insists on having something. Im sure nothing will happen lol. But there are lots of different ways you can go about a shower without actually having a shower :)
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  • bchalmbchalm member
    I agree with @kmalls on this one. My mom tried to get me to have another one and I told her absolutely not. I didn't want to seem gift grubby. But if she (she being the lady from your church) feels the need and it would only be people who didn't come to the first, I don't see the harm. 
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  • julzyjulzy member
    edited December 2017
    A Sprinkle is totally acceptable for your second especially if there’s a big age gap or you’re having a baby with a different sex. It should definitely be smaller and more relaxed. 

    When I was asked what I wanted to do, I said pizza at the brewery. Super low key. More of a get together and the gift expectation should definitely be low. Diapers, clothes, books etc. We’re registering for some bigger ticket items just to be able to use the completion discount but that’s it. 

    A sip and see after baby is here might be a nice alternative for you too. 


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  • mcb2016mcb2016 member
    I have an 11 year gap between #1 and #2. Everyone wanted to throw me a shower with my second. I had 3 showers with my first and I am just not great at big events like showers. I don't enjoy them for myself. It was hard for my friends to keep with my wishes. They were offended I didn't want to do one. It seems in some of my friend circle they do a shower for every baby. A lot of the things we bought for #2
    were pricey and I'd never expect anyone to buy high ticket items for us. 


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  • Dumbgurl04Dumbgurl04 member
    Agree with everyone else if this lady WANTS to throw you the shower and it will be for the people that weren't at your first then probably wouldn't hurt.  The sex of the baby should have nothing to do with having a shower.  For this one we did a gender reveal party to celebrate.  Honestly I'm not even registering because the only thing we really need is clothing.  So if you have someone that is very adamant in throwing you a shower then I guess it's ok but maybe make sure that you are more laid back on getting any gifts and make sure it's not really a requirement to bring one.  

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  • whatabout2ndbreakfastwhatabout2ndbreakfast member
    If they want to throw you a shower, I don't see a problem with that. If someone wants to surprise you with a shower there's not really much you can do! I would feel weird about giving my input even for the first shower - but my family only does surprise showers so its what I'm used to.

    Question - when are we supposed to start doing kick counts? I noticed baby was really active Saturday and not as active Sunday and I wasn't remembering if that is normal for second trimester. I believe kick counts only start with 3rd trimester
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  • icalynnicalynn member
    @peppersmith22
    The bump just had an article on kick counts they recommended starting in your 28th week.
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  • frenchiekinplusonefrenchiekinplusone member
    I’m with @kmalls on the shower. If this lady wants to throw a big shower and invite all your family and friends, I’d respectfully decline. If it’s a small church thing, I don’t see why not. 

    @peppersmith22 I’ve read 3rd tri to start kick counts, but I have the same thoughts and worries about whether the variation in movement is normal, but I think it is! 

    Anyone else feeling short of breath just randomly, like while sitting on the couch? It’s almost like a slightly anxious feeling if that makes sense, but it’s like I can’t really fill my lungs up the whole way or something. Baby is sitting pretty low and I’m only 23 weeks so I wasn’t expecting this until the last couple months, but maybe my lungs are already getting squished? It’s just kind of a weird and uncomfortable feeling. 
    Me: 31  DH: 32
    Married: 10/3/15 
    TTC: May 2017
    BFP: 7/20/17
    EDD: 3/29/18
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  • mispandamispanda member
    edited December 2017
    @luna8433 If she wan'ts to throw you a baby shower, sure why not.  But I wouldn't go out of your way to give one to yourself.  That just my personal opinion.  
    Edit: tag didn't work.
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  • hedgepighedgepig member
    @peppersmith22 I had the same question! I have an AP, so kicks have still been light and infrequent, but I definitely noticed that I didn't really feel anything for two days, and was super relieved when I woke up in the midle of the night and felt all sorts of movement. 
    TW
    Me: 33 DH: 32
    Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013
    Started TTC August 2016
    BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17
    BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17
    BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18
    BFP: 2/27/20





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  • whatabout2ndbreakfastwhatabout2ndbreakfast member
    Thanks ladies! I thought it was early to be worried about slow days. I'm trying to remember to mention it at my appointment tomorrow too

    @frenchiekinplusone I'm also carrying low and finding myself short of breath - I think everything is just squishing up as baby gets bigger
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  • kmallskmalls member
    Yup, kick counts typically start at 30ish weeks and add me to the short of breath club. Baby is for sure squishing everything in there. 
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  • icalynnicalynn member
    Question: At my 1st ultrasound they found a 9cm fibroid in the upper right portion of my uterus. At my a/s the fibroid is now 17cm which looked larger than the baby's head. I am not feeling any pain and haven't noticed any issues. The only thing the doctor mentioned was that it might keep baby from turning which would lead to a csection. Has any one else had experiences with large fibroids during their pregnancy?
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  • danjolydanjoly member
    @luna8433 I think I would say no. They could always help you plan a sip and see or if they really want to do something helpful maybe suggest a meal train after the baby is here. I know it’s common for church ladies to organize that and I would rather have a bunch of meals coming to my house than a bunch of frilly pink clothes ;) Also, one thing that is common for Sprinkles is diapers raffles instead of gifts. You can buy a bunch of gift cards and small gifts and people who brings diapers gets a ticket for the raffle. 


    @peppersmith22 don’t worry about kick counts for now. It’s really early for that and they will have really active days and very quiet one until third tri. They also have a lot of space now and might be more squirming than kicking. With DS I had developed some tricks when I was worried with low movement days, like stimulating him with music (always the same song so he « recognized it ») laying on my left side after drinking ice cold water or pineapple juice. I think your OB won’t love you if you already start running to L&D for stress tests this early ;) 
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  • lindsyelindsye member
    @peppersmith22 I feel your pain. I have been feeling consistent movement sporadically throughout the day and yesterday had a low movement day. It set me on edge all day until I eventually pulled out the Doppler to reassure myself. Baby back to normal today.
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  • whatabout2ndbreakfastwhatabout2ndbreakfast member
    Thank you @lindsye @danjoly @mispanda ... it really does mess with your head having a low movement day! 
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  • ngolimentongolimento member
    @frenchiekinplusone I am getting short of breath while doing my daily walk.  If you think about it, even if you are carrying really low, your internal organs still have to go somewhere while baby is displacing them.  Your ribs will expand to accommodate it, but they can only do so much.

    Last time, I personally ended up going from 3 mile walks daily to a half mile in my 8th month, I had so much baby squeezing my lungs.  Not looking forward to that again :p.
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  • luna8433luna8433 member
    Thanks ladies. Our conversation wasn't all that long, so I am not 100% sure if she was offering to throw one. With My 1st we did live in another town so no one attended that one. I like the idea of a sip and See, although it's not common in our area. I also like the diaper raffle, that is one thing that was nice about my 1st shower. Thanks for the ideas that I can go with if she brings it up again.

    I just hate to ask for anything especially since in the same convo we talked about other ladies with their 1st who are also pregnant. 
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  • rklinge0rklinge0 member
    @luna8433 For our first, we were team green so everything was gender neutral including clothes. This time we are having the opposite sex but I am definitely not wanting a shower because I had 4 the first time.  I figured if people wanted to give me gifts, they will do so no matter if there was a sprinkle or not.
    @Dumbgurl04 I agree with you on the different sex should have nothing to do with getting a 2nd shower, there are more people out there in my age group that were hopping on the team green band wagon so with that theory they would be excluded.  
    @peppersmith22 I think they say to wait until 3rd trimester because once there is less space, movement should become more consistent.  TBH I didn't do them with my first and the only time I felt decrease in movement was the day my water broke.  
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  • Dumbgurl04Dumbgurl04 member
    @kmalls yes clothes are super cheap.  In fact me, my mom and MIL are going to the outlet mall tomorrow to buy clothes.  I'm also going to borrow the pink RNP from my SIL again for the first month of DS life since he will sleep in our room and I don't care if it's pink he is just sleeping in it.  I do have a friend that wants to throw me and another mutual friend of ours (who is also due in April with her 2nd) a baby shower.  I told her I don't really need a shower (not sure what the other girl has said) cause I don't really need anything, but she likes to throw parties like that.  Thankfully she hasn't brought it back up since I told her I was pregnant.  I think the only reason she is offering because we had another friend that wanted a shower thrown for her for her 2nd (there was a little bit of an age gap between her two).  SO maybe my friend doesn't want me to feel left out. 

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  • psuxray07psuxray07 member
    @luna8433 If she offers to throw one, I'd accept!  DS will be a little over 4.5 when baby is born and some things we got rid of.  Anything would help us, as this happened in my new job and we will have nowhere near enough money to cover our mortgage and bills while I'm off on maternity leave, not to mention diapers and formula on top of it and just living.  I'll only have about 4 wks saved.  Everytime we get a little ahead, something big drags us down.  Meh.  Sidetracked, lol.  But yeah I'd never throw one for myself, only if someone actually wanted to do it, I think it's nice.  I love buying baby things for people, lol.

    @peppersmith22 glad I'm not the only one worrying about movement!  I know it's too early, but it definitely bothers me.  We felt her from the outside last Thurs night and Friday morning, and barely anything since.  Like, just weird feelings like "shivering" or small thumps, not outward at all.  I'm like come on baby!  Use those little 1lb muscles...mama needs to feel you move!
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  • mikkimikeymikkimikey member
    @luna8433 I had two baby showers thrown for me for my DD, 12 years ago. I didn’t have one for my son, 8 years ago.

    Allllll of my stuff is long-gone!! As in 7 years ago or so. 

    My friend “called” that she gets to throw me a shower the second the pee stick dried. I tried telling her that I already had one with Riley, and I thought I didn’t get another one. 

    She told me to “shhhh” and asked me for good dates ::shrug:: 

    I was worried that people would think I was being gift-grubby, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. Everyone is all for it! 

    It's not something I would throw for myself, I have a lot of family and friend behind this, and it makes them happy! 
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  • sjn00sjn00 member
    mispanda said:
    @peppersmith22 and @hedgepig I'm 23 weeks and at my last appointment I was told that at this point I could feel movement one day and not the next.  Totally makes me feel better but at the same time it's a horrible mind game.  

    A lot of the time, baby is awake while we are sleeping, so if thats when they are moving, we wont feel it for the day unless they do a random shift. I think they sleep an average of 15-20 hours in the 2nd trimester lol. 
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  • mrs_massiemrs_massie member
    edited December 2017
       
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  • mcb2016mcb2016 member
    My baby has quiet days too. I try not to worry but it's hard.  Most days she's pretty active. 

    We had our anatomy scan today. All looked good except she has a 2 vessel cord. I'm pretty sure I remember reading about others with it too? I'm trying not to stress about it but it's easier said than done. Our mfm didn't seem concerned. He wants to see is in 4 weeks when she is a little bigger to make check on her heart and kidneys again. Both looked good today. 


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  • g_amossg_amoss member
    @icalynn - I have no experience. FX you get more reassurance everything is okay.
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  • luna8433luna8433 member
    When I went in for my 16 week the doctor asked if I felt anything yet. She went on to say to not worry if you don't feel them every day at this point and it's okay not to feel anything for a few days. She said that it's because they are so small, but when they get bigger and run out of room you will feel them more.
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  • bchalmbchalm member
    edited December 2017
    I am so jealous of all the movement yall are feeling. I have an AP and have felt very little. 

    Edit: words, am I right?
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  • appleblossom8317appleblossom8317 member
    @bchalm same here 
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  • angiek1angiek1 member
    I swear I am already feeling a ton of pelvic pressure, just below my abdomen. I would really like this baby to move on up so I can be comfortable. I am also experiencing intense insomnia. Ah pregnancy life.  
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  • knutty3knutty3 member
    Here's a tough one: Have a job offer at 21w that I really want to accept, but I am not eligible for FMLA nor any state protected leave.  While the employer can't not offer me the job nor withdraw it because I am pregnant, at what point do I tell them?  And then they can replace me if I take leave.  I'd like to think every employer will work with you, but really....start two months then ask for 12 weeks leave?  I don't need paid leave, but I want to know I have a job when I get back.  I suspect I will just have to take the risk that they will understand, but I just don't feel good about it.  Any advice?  Ugh.
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  • jenotontxjenotontx member
    @knuttyplus2 Do you know if they have a maternity leave policy outside of FMLA? My company has a leave policy for employees who do not qualify that includes 12 weeks time off unpaid. The catch is they will not cover any medical benefits while you are out on the leave. So you are forced to pay out of pocket for the entire premium. Your company may also have a policy like this. I think you just have to be completely up front and honest with them once you get the offer to see what they would be able to offer you. Worst case scenario they won’t let you take 12 weeks and make you come back early but I doubt they would fire you because it takes a lot of time and money to hire someone and get them up and running. 
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  • ekendall09ekendall09 member
    I fell down the last few steps in the house this am. I hit mostly my back on the banister and scraped my ankle somehow a little. I feel fine, maybe a little sore for now. 

    Im not super concerned at this point but figured I’d ask. At what point would you call doc after a fall?
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