This is a safe space for those who are pregnant after a loss. General TW for this thread.
How far along are you?
Any appointments coming up?
How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
GTKY: If you were handed $100,000 right now, what would be the first thing you'd spend it on?
Re: PGAL Check In (Week of Nov. 29)
How far along are you? 23+3
**TW in Spoiler**
BFP 6/30/16, MC 8/21/16
BFP 05/04/17, 5/10/17 Emergency LAP due to ectopic. Right tube removed.
BFP 07/12/17, ECDD 03/25/18 - Silver Orion Born 3/23/18
BFP 09/30/19, EDD 06/11/20
@SoraLk - my husband's response was also underwhelming at first - he'd just kind of smile at me and that was it. Now that baby's stronger, he says the same thing as @justkeeptrying 's husband - "Was that you moving?!" - and gets much more excited, and I find it much more rewarding. Maybe your fiance will go through the same change of heart.
@justkeeptrying - I'm so glad you're having a good week and feeling positive! Keep those vibes going!!!
I had my regular appointment today, and do the glucose screening. I still feel awful from that darn drink. My next appointment is the end of December and then after that I go to appointments every two weeks. That made this seem even more real. Lol.
I’m doing okay. 2.0 was super still last night and this morning when I woke up which freaked me out a little and with my glucose test today, I didn’t want to mess it up with sugar or caffeine so I didn’t do any of my usual tricks to get him moving. But he “woke up” a couple hours later than normal and I got my kick counts in and felt better about it. Plus a good heartbeat on the Doppler today.
I’m so boring... it would all go towards any debt we had and I’d spend a little on things for the boys. I need a dresser and chest of drawers for both of their rooms and I’d buy things like the double stroller and mini crib to finish off what I need for the nursery. If I decided to splurge, I’d get myself an Apple Watch.
@SoraLk there’s another thread on here that talks about how it’s okay to not like or love pregnancy and still love the baby. I think pregnancy has some really hard moments and I’ve never been that magical unicorn pregnant lady with the glow and the everything is rainbows. Also, I hope your fiancé gets a little more excited as things get closer—some guys just don’t get excited until Baby is here.
@ashtuesday yay for a great appointment that relieved you guys! I’ve been doing the same in regards to food and exercise but with my first, the biggest weight gain happened in the last month. Ha. Hopefully I don’t do that again.
25w6d
I just had my last level 2 US, and have my glucose test next week. Also, I have another US next week because my level 2 US showed that my cervix was short...2.5cm to be exact.
How far along are you? 22+5
@justkeeptrying thats amazing DH finally felt the baby... it took forever for us too and a lot of “feel this” and then nothing lol
@SoraLk I did not enjoy my first 3 pregnancies at all. I would often say that I should have just adopted because I love being a mom so much but really hate being pregnant... All i did was worry and feel uncomfortable... only wanting to get to the birth (i do love that part). I felt no shame or guilt saying I disliked pregnancy because honestly not everyone loves it.. I know I sound like a broken record here, but had I known most of the time
I’d have with Mars would be in my body...I would have enjoyed his pregnancy more... and I take that into this pregnancy... don’t get me wrong, I feel enormous, my butt itches freakishly from these shots, I had to avoid nearly everything I love to eat and drink in Europe, I have wicked heartburn, my vag is all weird looking, so sure I’m still struggling with the same offputting things.. pregnancy is not fun!!! but I am also taking moments to appreciate how we the most unlucky parents in the world, are also very much the most lucky parents in the world.
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
27 weeks today!
I had a growth scan this week (Emma is measuring a whole 3 days ahead lol). I go back in 2 weeks for blood work.
I’m doing well. Although my fasting levels are starting to rise again so I’m sure I’ll have to adjust my insulin AGAIN. Ugh.
I would buy us a new SUV, and the rest would go toward bills so we could stop stressing about money. That would be the life.
overall I'm good. no major complaints - aside from the usual pregnancy blahs.
I would reno my house and yard. not that it's bad... but the house is old and there are a ton of updates i would like to do.
Also with the fiance - I almost think he's still processing the fact that he's got a little one on the way. He's working so hard lately after finding a new job, that the other day he honestly said to me "Occasionally I forget that I'm going to be a father" and looked disappointed in himself for having forgotten. I do think he'll warm up later - I'm thinking once the baby's room is complete he'll realize that it's still very real.
@bb3vj3n Extra chances to see baby are awesome! Hope your testing comes back clear!
@senora76 Good to hear your trips are going well! Sorry you're jet lagged though, hopefully you can get some rest soon.
@kalawa Sorry that your cervix is being stubborn, hope that the scan goes well.
@ashtuesday What wonderful news! So awesome!
**TW in Spoiler**
BFP 6/30/16, MC 8/21/16
BFP 05/04/17, 5/10/17 Emergency LAP due to ectopic. Right tube removed.
BFP 07/12/17, ECDD 03/25/18 - Silver Orion Born 3/23/18
BFP 09/30/19, EDD 06/11/20
Also, I start 2 week appts after today— already! What?!!!!
Paying off student loans and medical debt. Then put some away for each of the kiddos, into savings, and take a vacation!
I wouldn't mind so much if I was allowed to watch and see my daughter. whenever i
go to my usually US office they let me watch... but the hospital never does. they didn't even give me a peek of her today. very disappointed
@bb3vj3n, you're Canadian if I remember correctly right? Isn't it so weird how we aren't allowed to see our ultrasounds???? UGH! I've had the odd tech be absolutely fantastic and show me the heartbeat right away and answer my questions. But for the most part they don't let you see anything. Our 20 week ultrasound was in fetal assessment rather than a regular ultrasound because of our losses, and it was so nice to have the nurse show us EVERYTHING as she did it. She talked throughout and explained what was happening. So much better than sitting there in silence for 30 minutes while they poke and prod you. Hopefully at your one in 2 weeks they let you see her! And she's in a good position!!!
@kalawa I’m thinking and praying for you. I read your conversation in another thread about your cervix and I hope it stops shortening at the least. Please keep us posted. Hugs.
@senora76 I’m so glad you had a great trip and jet lag is the worst! Enjoy those baby kicks and I’m jealous of your three days at Disney World!
@BrittnieMariee yay for good appointments!
@bb3vj3n it still weirds me out how different US are in Canada. I’m sorry you didn’t get to see baby and that you have to go back again.
@chasingroygbiv you seem to have a rough time this pregnancy! I hope you can get your infection resolved without it costing an arm and a leg. Did your glucose test at least go well today?
Glucose test went well! No GD, my levels were actually quite low (which I told them is usually the case). So at least there’s that for this week!
the only other time I wasnt allowed too watch was also at the hospital - but it was to confirm pregnancy loss, so I understood them telling me that they would not be allowing me to see ( even though i desperately wanted to).
oh well - I'm going to try to not let it bum me out to much. healthy baby is all that matters!
And also being from Canada, and never getting to watch US. It was so peculiar (and stressful) to be able to watch my MFM level 2 US...in silence. She was a resident, so she wouldn't talk she said. Then the actual MFM comes in and starts joking with me, showing me baby peeing (bladder was full, and then disappeared ).
*Rant* In regards to my past posts about being angry at the ER doc who said I was MC this baby because my cervix was open 1cm. Is it wrong that I want to throw him my US report saying my cervix is closed...and to never diagnose another woman with a loss when the OB gave you specific instructions not to? *End rant*
my doc hasn't called me yet but the lab I use allowed you to check your results online... so I've already seen them
Damn....
@bb3vj3n oh no! Did you fail by a lot or a little? Hopefully everything is fine for your three hour. Hugs.
I scored 8.7
@bb3vj3n I'm sorry you have to retake your test! since its borderline hopefully you will pass that 3 hour... at least you don't find the drink hideous... I actually love that orange drink... I could easily drink a bottle right now! I am a bit concerned because my prelim I did a few weeks ago had my number about 40 pts higher than with my pregnancy with Mars... at the high end of normal. I get retested at my next appt in mid December... just watching my sugar intake for now to be on the safe side...
@chasingroygbiv there is an old wives tale that says you lose a tooth with every baby... and for me it was kind of true. after my pregnancy with Vance, I had a regular check up and in the x ray they found one of my front molars had "internal resorption" and was literally going to crumble and fall out! $2000 later I have tooth implant!!! Im sorry you are having dental drama - its the worst.
@kalawa In my 41 years I whole heartedly know that western medicine is a practice... it is a practice because everyone is just practicing - drs aren't super humans - and I've found a lot of terrible ones. Some things I've run into- my epidural with Vance was administered by a student (I watched a lot of Greys Anatomy in 2006 and thought what the heck - had the perfect epidural with Zane - what could go wrong)... it did NOT work. It worked on my calves and made me throw up and feel high, but I felt everything... I was told by the MFM with Mars that I should terminate him since my SC would lead to "maternal death" and I already had children to care for... Zane's ear tube fell out and re-fused to his ear drum... and now from removing it he has perm damage... the genius RE we saw in desperation when we lost Mars assuming we'd need help conceiving since I'm so old, told me I have the face of a 35 year old and the eggs of a 45 year old -no way I could conceive at that point... then he went on vacation for 2 MONTHS and when we returned I was pregnant. He told me I have a 40% chance of miscarraige - and that my egg reserve was "shot." I could go on and on but I'll stop there... I must say I am amazed by Chinese Medicine - within 3 mos of accupuncture and taking ancient chinese herbs, plus the supplement CoQnol - my irregular cycles tightened up, and I was pregnant at 41 beating the odds. I have a lot more faith in chinese medicine than western medicine!
@ashtuesday Thank you I feel like I am not strong enough to be a philanthropist as others who have suffered a loss like ours... like @syssa-o who throws charitable benefits in her daughter's honor, or my good friend who I met through babycenter who also lost a son to SIDS at daycare like me, she also is so strong to give back and pay it forward... so at the very least, I'm glad I can be a little inspirational by the way I see things now.
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend - im off to Disneyworld on an insane red eye tomorrow night (what was I thinking?!?!)
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
edit: because the keyboard on TB app really does do weird autocorrections that I don’t get anywhere else.
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
my MIL in Spain and got some of the stringy cheap floss stuck under the implant and couldnt get it out! sometimes food gets stuck too so I carry floss... despite all that.. I’ve had it for about 7-8 years now and have been very happy with it.
The bonegraft/extraction left me very very sore for days- but the actual implant surgery was an easy recovery! I paid $80 extra to get IV sedation so I was out cold... Did not want to be awake for either one!!!!
Sorry to all you ladies who have learned way more than you needed to know about dental implants LOL!
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
27 weeks
Not until the end of the month.
Meh. I've been having terrible anxiety and panic attacks over the last night. I felt really good my first pregnancy so this has been tough.
Pay off the mortgage or go on a nice beach vacation.
I hope that everyone's weekend is going well.