I wish I were thinking about something other than my embie. Instead it's all I'm thinking about. This TWW is brutal! The first week wasn't so bad, but week 2 is killing me!
@funkykey it stands for pregnant and staying pregnant - eta sorry I didn’t go to the next page lol. Hang in there. Beta day is almost here. Will you test before?
@Irisheyes81 they should be ashamed. Imagine if they had cancelled and then you find out this now. So ridiculous. Glad at least everything worked out in the end.
@2MomsHoping 6 embryos is still a good number. FX they all make it to blast.
@natehk glad everything went well and congrats on being PASP!
@Crystal321 GL with the ultrasound tomorrow! I’ve been wondering if it’s only one in there with those betas lol!
@artemis618 thinking of you and hope the bleeding is stopping.
Transfer went well. Two expanded blasts in. Embryologist said they looked as good as when they were frozen. Beta is next week on the 30th. I may wait to test until morning of.
Melissa 39 - DH 45 TTC # 1 - 4 years, 7 IUIs, 3 IVF, 1 FET, 2 M/C, DD 2015 TTC # 2 - IVF # 4 March 2017 Long Lupron, 150 Gonal F, 150 Menopur 21R, 12M, 7F, Transferred 2 Froze 1 - BFN FET # 2 May 2017 - BFN IVF # 5 Sep 2017 - Antagonist, no BCP. 200 iu Follistim, 150 iu Menopur, Cetrotide started day 5, Lupron trigger 19R, 13M, 12F, No Transfer - 2 "beautiful" blasts frozen FET # 3 Nov 2017
@safire3 I've taken two HPTs. Both have been negative. I took one on Sunday and one today. Really hoping it's just too early, but I wept like a child after both.
((((Hugs)))) @funkykey. I have taken hpts from 2.5dp5dt every 12 hours or so, on. Nothing. Mostly all just cheapies, but I did get 10miu cheapies I thought might be better? And one frer this morning. Nothing. I will hang onto hope for both of us!!! How many dpt are you? This morning is 4.5dp5dt for me, so I'm trying to tell myself it's early, too. But I'm starting get a sad *sinking* feeling... I hope and pray it's just early. ❤
((((Hugs)))) @funkykey. I have taken hpts from 2.5dp5dt every 12 hours or so, on. Nothing. Mostly all just cheapies, but I did get 10miu cheapies I thought might be better? And one frer this morning. Nothing. I will hang onto hope for both of us!!! How many dpt are you? This morning is 4.5dp5dt for me, so I'm trying to tell myself it's early, too. But I'm starting get a sad so long feeling... I hope and pray it's just early. ❤
Waay too early!!! Do not give up on that embie yet!! I know it’s hard not to doubt, so I’m sending all my positive vibes to the little nugget! People who get early positives get them around 7dp5dt... you’re not even there yet! And most people will not see a positive even on 7dp5dt! If you are using cheapies that will help, but anything that’s leveling at 50 you may not see a positive till morning of beta! Remember, the amount of HCG present to be detected is urine is a MUCH lower than what’s present in blood! You got this!!! PASP!
Hang in there @funkykey and @Businesswife! it is def way too early. I think full implantation happens around day 4-5 and Even after that you never know. Hugs to you both and all else in the 2ww! I have not POAS for my prior transfers. Too scared of seeing the negatives and then falling into a hole of sadness.
I am definitely just trying to stay positive! It was easier though in the very early days, now it's starting to be a little bit harder. But I will try to remember that if button only implanted - say yesterday - then it definitely is still way too early...
Noooo!!! Sadness go away from our PASP ladies!!!! Embies grow grow grow!
AFM, I had my 1st appt with our new RE at a new clinic on Mon. I had some blood work done and was tested for AMH. We go back there on 12/2. Dr saw one chocolate cyst on my right and one on my left ovary. Sorry @Irisheyes81 I couldn't answer your question abt this last week. Chocolate cyst is another name for endometriosis. A cyst that just grows in the ovaries with causes unknown yet. I had one 7cm removed last Jan and I'm hoping these ones I have now are gonna be flushed out along with my AF.
I mean, there's a chance I'm a little early too, but it's much smaller.
My beta was supposed to be Thursday but they moved me to Monday because we're going to visit my inlaws this weekend. We'd wanted to go this summer, but IVF made it impossible.
I'm really tired of putting my life on hold and having to cancel and change plans so I can be available for treatment or monitoring, you know? Even now, I did the calculation of (if this is negative) when I'd be able to try again. It looks like my next possible FET would be right during my clinic's Christmas closure, and that makes me regret booking this one weekend to visit my inlaws. Like, if I were tested and it was negative on Thurs, I might get AF 4 days sooner, which might mean I could have it done just before Christmas, etc...
And then I remember it doesn't matter, because with IF, even when you think like that, AF comes 2 days late or you develop a cyst or they find a polyp and it pushes everything back anyway, and it's like: "sorry, you're going to keep living this nightmare indefinitely. And everything good that you plan- every trip you book months in advance thinking you could use a break and maybe this will be over by then- IF will destroy."
Ugh. Sorry ladies. Bad day over here. That HPT has me bummed right out.
Noooo!!! Sadness go away from our PASP ladies!!!! Embies grow grow grow!
AFM, I had my 1st appt with our new RE at a new clinic on Mon. I had some blood work done and was tested for AMH. We go back there on 12/2. Dr saw one chocolate cyst on my right and one on my left ovary. Sorry @Irisheyes81 I couldn't answer your question abt this last week. Chocolate cyst is another name for endometriosis. A cyst that just grows in the ovaries with causes unknown yet. I had one 7cm removed last Jan and I'm hoping these ones I have now are gonna be flushed out along with my AF.
Im so happy you went to a new clinic!!! ive been thinking of you!
@funkykey **hugs** i'm sorry you're having a bad day. This process is no doubt really hard mentally. It's completely okay to cry, heaven knows I've had my fair share of tears shed over it.
@businesswife way too early... keep up hope and have positive thoughts!!
@tinjp78 I'm so glad you guys are moving forward to the new clinic, a second opinion is never a bad thing.
@funkykey I still have FX for you. If implantation occurs later that can also affect things. I totally agree with you about not putting things on hold due to IF. I hope you can relax a bit on this trip and then get a good surprise when you come back. Hugs to you.
@businesswife you are way too early so don’t give up yet. You were so full of hope after the transfer. Hold on to that!
@tinjp78 I’m glad you had your new consult already. I hope those cysts go away and this doc makes a good plan for you to move forward. Good luck!
AFM had my 3rd beta this morning but still waiting for the result and net steps. I also found out we owe another $1500 to have our embryos refrozen (this is on top of the monthly storage fee). Guess we totally overlooked that but what’s another $1500 when we are so much in debt already I guess.
@funkykey Sending hugs and good thoughts. This is a draining and brutal process most of the time. It's especially hard for people who like any control whatsoever over anything in their lives. I'm holding out hope for you and glad we will beta the same day. This will hopefully be a nice trip with family that you have been looking forward to.
@tinjp78 A new clinic is so hopeful! They will be able to provide so much insight! Thanks for the info on the chocolate cyst! I hope they flush away during this ovulation.
@BusinessWife I can't believe you tested already!! too soon
Me: 36 DH: 33
TTC since June 2016
Me: PCOS DH: Morphology 1%
3 TI with Famera and trigger shots-BFN
3 IUI's with Famera and trigger shots- BFN
IVF August 2017 25 eggs retrieved, 19 mature, 13 fertilized (ICSI), 5 frozen, 3 PGS normal
FET November 2017 Transferred one 6 day blast (a little GIRL) BFP EDD 8/4/18
I swear time stands still in the TWW! I have yet been able to find engaging enough distractions
to occupy my obsessive mind during that time period.
@businesswife You are so early! When I got my positive tests they were all on
day 6 or and believe me those were like super squinters. Like I had to take a picture and adjust the
contrast on the phone to kinda sorta positive
results.
@funkykey at 8dpo I may be unpopular in this opinion but I
also would start to lose hope. I am also
familiar with the timing plight and the hatred of delay after delay after delay. It sucks.
Like big time. And I totally think
you have every right have a bad day over it.
I’m hoping you have a little late implanter on your hands but I totally
get it and I have been there.
@tinjp78 good luck with your new RE. Sometimes a fresh perspective can make all
the difference.
@safie3. I just lol’d
at your $1500. I used to be little miss
never carry a balance on her credit card before this process. Let’s just say those days a LONG gone. I’m still cheap…ahem a responsible spender
about everything else in my life but with anything fertility related it’s like
money has no meaning to me.
Me:38 DW:33 TTC History in Spoiler ***Trigger Warning*** Losses/Child Mentioned
Dx: My wife has no sperm and apparently my embryos aren't as good as they look 2016 * April IUI#1 - BFN * June IUI#2 - BFN * July IUI#3 - CP * Sept IVF#1 - 4 Retrieved & Mature, 4 Blasts. Fresh Transfer 1 - CP * November FET #1 - Transferred 1 Blast - CP 2017 Switched REs - Recurrent loss testing for me - all normal, remaining 2 frosties sent for PGS - both abnormal * April/May IVF#2: 9 retrieved, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 7 blasts! Sent for testing - 2PGS Normals (0 remaining) * November IVF #3 12R, 8M, 6F, 4 blasts! - All 4 PGS normal! * November FET# 2 (Transfer a PGS normal from IVF#2) - BFP!!! 2018 DD born 8/20/18 20195PGS frosties ( 4 remaining) * September FET#3 (1PGS normal) - Beta#1: 139.7 Beta#2: 322.6
@2MomsHoping I’m just like you. I call it frugal . I hate owing any money at all. However today they were a little late calling me with my results and I realized I would sell my soul and be in debt for life if it meant I get my take home baby. I was already starting to panic that something was wrong.
Update:
Beta today is 6820 so right on track so far. First ultrasound is on Tuesday which I’m really excited for! I will relax a bit more once we know he/she is in the right place.
@Irisheyes81 yep we had 5 all frozen on day 1 due to the storm. Before my transfer they thawed them all and grew to day 5-6. Three made it, one transferred and 2 refrozen. So basically it costs $1500 to get those 2 frozen again.
@funkykey at 8dpo I may be unpopular in this opinion but I also would start to lose hope. I am also familiar with the timing plight and the hatred of delay after delay after delay. It sucks. Like big time. And I totally think you have every right have a bad day over it. I’m hoping you have a little late implanter on your hands but I totally get it and I have been there.
Exactly. Thank you.
It's tough though, even with the BFN, even though I've been crying and losing hope, there's still that little thread. I hate it so much. I woke up this morning because of a hot flash - I was sweating and then suddenly I was freezing. I've been feeling pain in my side all day, like in the left side of my uterus. I'm exhausted. My breasts are sore. I've had way more discharge today than I did yesterday. So I think: "Maybe?!" Even with my stark white test! I'm starting to resent that little thread of hope, because it's what causes me to do things like spend another $40 on HPTs, to cancel flights at will, and to keep doing PIOs even though I'm pretty sure I'm out. Ugh.
I mean, I guess (technically) it's love-hate.
My H doesn't love spending so much on IF, whereas I'm more like: "Well, that's what it costs." I keep reminding him: "having a family is basically the only reason I have pursued a career." I definitely would not have finished grad school if I didn't want a family. I used to go to the library on Friday nights and think: "One day, I'm going to have kids, and this is going to be worth it."
@funkykey ive been silently cheering you on here (creepy, but true!) and have been so excited for you to finally get to this point. I will admit I would feel exactly the same if I was in your shoes, but! My coworker had a BFN the day of her beta, and ended up with a HCG of 24. The nurse told her it wasn’t a good number and would likely drop.....but next beta was 85! We transferred the same day, literally within an hour of each other and **TW** I had a solid BFP at 6dp5dt, yet we are both 38 weeks this Friday. **End TW**
So there definitely IS hope! Regardless of what happens I will be here, creepily lurking, and sending you all of the best vibes I can conjure up. You SO deserve this!!!
Me: 39 SO: 36
Dx: low progesterone, possible DOR - officially "unexplained"
TTC#1 since November 2015 9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN 10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN 1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017
TTC #2 since July 2018 May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
@artemis omg! That's so scary. My heart sank when I saw your first message. Don't apologize. That's what we're here for! Glad everything is ok. How are you feeling today?
@2MomsHoping 12 sounds like a lovely number! And now 6 fertilized! Glad it went well. Feel better!
@Irisheyes81 why do they have to mess with you like that?? Ugh! At least it all worked out in the end, you transferred and you are a happy PASP lady!
@funkykey you have every right to be upset and feel defeated, f*cking hpts are the worst. I feel like every woman TTC is at an amusement park, and us IF girls got stuck on the craziest, scariest roller coaster. The highs can be so awesome and those drops are traumatic. But please do not stop your PIO or do anything drastic until your beta. I know you still have some days to go, but hang tight, you never know.
@safire3 yay for an awesome 3rd beta. I'm jealous of everyone that got 2nd and 3rd betas, I have no idea where I'm at after my first.
AFM: had my U/S and we have 1 little pea. Saw and heard the heartbeat! I was so relieved. So much so, that none of it hit me until like 5 hours later. Thank you guys for all your kind words and support. I truly hope that I have been able to be as supportive to you guys as you have been to me. Happy thanksgiving, I am truly grateful for your friendships
Congratulations @coco305. That's so special and such a relief! Yay!!!
I know this has been a tough week for the board, and I just want to give everyone all the hugs. IF really sucks. It is a thief of joy and I hate it. And I hate that so many of us are still struggling, and may have to keep on trudging. A friend of mine from university turns out had her ER the same day as our transfer, and turns out she lost both her eggs. :( She is totally devastated, and my heart just breaks for her bc there's nothing I can do. It totally sucks.
But there is a glimmer of hope, whenever any of us succeeds, that is amazing and to be celebrated! Fx for more good news from @safire3 @artemis618. @Crystal321 and the other PAIF November ladies I feel like I'm missing!??!! Your victory can hopefully give us all a bit of, (at times,) much-needed courage. ❤❤❤
@Crystal321 6dp5dt here, I am feeling okay! It was a bit tough tho...
****TW**** babies, kids <div class="Spoiler">We went to a family Thanksgiving dinner today where there was a new 4 month old baby, born the same month a year apart from our other cousin's baby.... so here are these two beautiful boys, a year apart, and these two incredible new moms. :s </div> It's hard to feel So. Close. And yet so far away, not being able to say anything....
Hi all. Only 3dp5dt. Was a really quiet day for us yesterday as both our families are out of state and we chose not to travel right after transfer. The last few days I've done friendsgiving at our place, but this year everyone is a bit scattered. Was nice to relax and watch tv, but I think not being busy has made me think about this more! Also I started having pretty bad cramps yesterday. Anyone else get this during 2ww?
@natehk. I have been getting some occasional cramps too, especially in the few days following transfer. Hopefully it's a good sign things are going on in there!!! Fx
@BusinessWife I know what you mean. Hopefully next year you're celebrating a first thanksgiving. I've avoided friendsgiving parties, because I don't want to explain to pushy people why I am drinking sparkling water. @natehk totally normal! I had cramps, twinges, weird pulling sensations during the tww and it started pretty early. I'll still get an occasional left ovary pain here and there.
Hope everyone survived thanksgiving. I know it's been a rough couple of weeks on here, hopefully there are better days ahead.
so question, what happens after November?? I don't want to leave this board!
@natehk congrats on your transfer! So glad you got to relax. I had cramps, pulling and some twinges and a tiny bit of spotting about 3 days after and on and off since then. Any feeling at all is either scary or dreaded symptom spotting but I think all of that is totally normal.
@coco305 I don’t want the November board to end either! You guys have been such a huge support for me! Sounds like you had a nice thanksgiving and avoided all those sparkling water questions.
@businesswife I had similar thanksgiving struggles (I can’t make a spoiler box on my phone and so I’ll just avoid details). I forgot how brutal holidays can be. How are you feeling?? We are so close to beta day! I am feeling super hopeful. My husband worries about how hopeful I am. Buying a stocking for a 14 day old embryo is normal, right?
Me: 36 DH: 33
TTC since June 2016
Me: PCOS DH: Morphology 1%
3 TI with Famera and trigger shots-BFN
3 IUI's with Famera and trigger shots- BFN
IVF August 2017 25 eggs retrieved, 19 mature, 13 fertilized (ICSI), 5 frozen, 3 PGS normal
FET November 2017 Transferred one 6 day blast (a little GIRL) BFP EDD 8/4/18
@coco305@irisheyes81 the July/August IVF board is still really active so I think we can definitely keep this one alive for as long as we’d like.
History and blog link in spoiler
2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks May 2020 FET; BFN July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate Oct 2020 BFP!
@Irisheyes81. My husband will assure you, i am probably the last person to be asking if something dealing with any of this stuff is "normal!" Lol. But I think it's a great idea! I will maybe wait till a little closer to Christmas to get ours, but Button totally needs a stocking, imho ;)
<blockquote class="Quote"> <div class="QuoteAuthor"><a href="/profile/laurad75">laurad75</a> said:</div> <div class="QuoteText">@coco305@irisheyes81 the July/August IVF board is still really active so I think we can definitely keep this one alive for as long as we’d like. :)</div> </blockquote> So much this! No reason the thread needs to close! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
hey ladies, just a quick update. My beta @9dp5dt came back at 290. I am thrilled. Hope I could PASP
I had several implantation failures before and finally got pregnant!
Good luck to you all!
***TW*** Unfortunately, I mean it (confirmed) this time.
Well, sadly the bleeding got worse and continued for the last four days (and is still going). By Wednesday morning I knew it was over - I was going to try to get in earlier so I could at least stop my meds in case they were drawing it out, but it just didn’t work out. I was able to go in this morning and the Dr. (another RE) confirmed that there was no longer a sac. Not shocking at this point, but still *really* disappointing. I’m grateful to have the weekend to deal with this which I wouldn’t have had had I waited till my scheduled Tuesday AM appointment.
So feeling all the things I wrote before. We have a WTF call with our RE on Tuesday - we’re leaning toward doing one more retrieval (this would be the 5th, not counting my egg freezing) just because at my age (40) it really feels like now or never to make embryos (though we could end up with no normals like we did with our first OOP cycle). We’ll probably also inseminate the 9 eggs I have frozen from five years ago and PGS test whatever survives from that as well. We have 3 more PGS normal embryos from the same cycle as the one we transferred, and one more from our previous RE (who incidentally, I learned this morning, will be joining our current clinic in January...awkward? :P. Our new RE actually trained our previous one.). As I mentioned before, it feels so much like a numbers game with which we have really terrible luck. My IVF nurse said that our RE will definitely change up the protocol for the next transfer. I’ve already had a lot of the RPL testing after my first one, so we’ll see what else our RE suggests. I know that PGS testing isn’t perfect, but again this felt like our best shot. It’s all just very frustrating and disappointing.
I survived meeting my young cousin’s new 5 week old baby girl yesterday - who looks a lot like I suspect our angels would have looked (she and I look quite alike - we’re Chinese, but that’s not why :P and both of our husbands are pretty fair).
I’m sorry I haven’t been so active on here lately b/c of this. I’ll probably take a little bit of a break till I figure out exactly what we’re doing next. My RE just called me as I was writing this and let me know that the lab does close for the holidays, so 12/3 is their latest stim start date. I’ll see him for a scan on Tuesday AM so he can see what’s going on himself as far as what makes sense (mostly I just want to get my drugs this year since I’m at $0 copay for them at this point, but also impatience...). Know that I’m still lurking & following along, and hope the very best for all of you!
About me: Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2 ***TW***
Natural BFP 8/10/16 --> mc our NIPT-normal little girl at 11w5d on 10/1/16 As of 12/2016: AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10 Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B) IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal) IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal) **New RE** IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!) FET #1 (medicated) of one PGS normal 4AA XX 11/2/17 - Beta #1 11/11/17 (153), Beta #2 11/13/17 (324), mc at 5w1d on 11/19/17 IVF #5 Dec 2017 - Insemination of 9 frozen eggs from 2012 (8F, 1B, 0 normal) Jan 2018 - Natural cycle ERA (normal/receptive) & stimming for IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts) IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals) FET #2 Apr 2018 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 4AA- XX 4/5/18 - Beta #1 4/14/18 (67), Beta #2 4/16/18 (231) Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)
----- TFAS! FET #3 Dec 2019 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 3BB XY 12/16/19 - Beta #1 12/24/19 (139), Beta #2 12/27/19 (482)
Re: November FET
Pregnant and Staying Pregnant!!
I wish I were thinking about something other than my embie. Instead it's all I'm thinking about. This TWW is brutal! The first week wasn't so bad, but week 2 is killing me!
@Irisheyes81 they should be ashamed. Imagine if they had cancelled and then you find out this now. So ridiculous. Glad at least everything worked out in the end.
@2MomsHoping 6 embryos is still a good number. FX they all make it to blast.
@natehk glad everything went well and congrats on being PASP!
@Crystal321 GL with the ultrasound tomorrow! I’ve been wondering if it’s only one in there with those betas lol!
@artemis618 thinking of you and hope the bleeding is stopping.
TTC # 1 - 4 years, 7 IUIs, 3 IVF, 1 FET, 2 M/C, DD 2015
TTC # 2 - IVF # 4 March 2017 Long Lupron, 150 Gonal F, 150 Menopur
21R, 12M, 7F, Transferred 2 Froze 1 - BFN
FET # 2 May 2017 - BFN
IVF # 5 Sep 2017 - Antagonist, no BCP. 200 iu Follistim, 150 iu Menopur, Cetrotide started day 5, Lupron trigger
19R, 13M, 12F, No Transfer - 2 "beautiful" blasts frozen
FET # 3 Nov 2017
it is def way too early. I think full implantation happens around day 4-5 and Even after that you never know.
Hugs to you both and all else in the 2ww!
I have not POAS for my prior transfers. Too scared of seeing the negatives and then falling into a hole of sadness.
Embies grow grow grow!
AFM, I had my 1st appt with our new RE at a new clinic on Mon. I had some blood work done and was tested for AMH. We go back there on 12/2. Dr saw one chocolate cyst on my right and one on my left ovary. Sorry @Irisheyes81 I couldn't answer your question abt this last week. Chocolate cyst is another name for endometriosis. A cyst that just grows in the ovaries with causes unknown yet. I had one 7cm removed last Jan and I'm hoping these ones I have now are gonna be flushed out along with my AF.
@BusinessWife - you are def too early.
I mean, there's a chance I'm a little early too, but it's much smaller.
My beta was supposed to be Thursday but they moved me to Monday because we're going to visit my inlaws this weekend. We'd wanted to go this summer, but IVF made it impossible.
I'm really tired of putting my life on hold and having to cancel and change plans so I can be available for treatment or monitoring, you know? Even now, I did the calculation of (if this is negative) when I'd be able to try again. It looks like my next possible FET would be right during my clinic's Christmas closure, and that makes me regret booking this one weekend to visit my inlaws. Like, if I were tested and it was negative on Thurs, I might get AF 4 days sooner, which might mean I could have it done just before Christmas, etc...
And then I remember it doesn't matter, because with IF, even when you think like that, AF comes 2 days late or you develop a cyst or they find a polyp and it pushes everything back anyway, and it's like: "sorry, you're going to keep living this nightmare indefinitely. And everything good that you plan- every trip you book months in advance thinking you could use a break and maybe this will be over by then- IF will destroy."
Ugh. Sorry ladies. Bad day over here. That HPT has me bummed right out.
@businesswife way too early... keep up hope and have positive thoughts!!
@tinjp78 I'm so glad you guys are moving forward to the new clinic, a second opinion is never a bad thing.
@businesswife you are way too early so don’t give up yet. You were so full of hope after the transfer. Hold on to that!
@tinjp78 I’m glad you had your new consult already. I hope those cysts go away and this doc makes a good plan for you to move forward. Good luck!
AFM had my 3rd beta this morning but still waiting for the result and net steps. I also found out we owe another $1500 to have our embryos refrozen (this is on top of the monthly storage fee). Guess we totally overlooked that but what’s another $1500 when we are so much in debt already I guess.
@tinjp78 A new clinic is so hopeful! They will be able to provide so much insight! Thanks for the info on the chocolate cyst! I hope they flush away during this ovulation.
@BusinessWife I can't believe you tested already!! too soon
@businesswife You are so early! When I got my positive tests they were all on day 6 or and believe me those were like super squinters. Like I had to take a picture and adjust the contrast on the phone to kinda sorta positive results.
@funkykey at 8dpo I may be unpopular in this opinion but I also would start to lose hope. I am also familiar with the timing plight and the hatred of delay after delay after delay. It sucks. Like big time. And I totally think you have every right have a bad day over it. I’m hoping you have a little late implanter on your hands but I totally get it and I have been there.
@tinjp78 good luck with your new RE. Sometimes a fresh perspective can make all the difference.
@safie3. I just lol’d at your $1500. I used to be little miss never carry a balance on her credit card before this process. Let’s just say those days a LONG gone. I’m still cheap…ahem a responsible spender about everything else in my life but with anything fertility related it’s like money has no meaning to me.
TTC History in Spoiler ***Trigger Warning*** Losses/Child Mentioned
2016
* April IUI#1 - BFN
* June IUI#2 - BFN
* July IUI#3 - CP
* Sept IVF#1 - 4 Retrieved & Mature, 4 Blasts. Fresh Transfer 1 - CP
* November FET #1 - Transferred 1 Blast - CP
2017 Switched REs - Recurrent loss testing for me - all normal, remaining 2 frosties sent for PGS - both abnormal
* April/May IVF#2: 9 retrieved, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 7 blasts! Sent for testing - 2PGS Normals (0 remaining)
* November IVF #3 12R, 8M, 6F, 4 blasts! - All 4 PGS normal!
* November FET# 2 (Transfer a PGS normal from IVF#2) - BFP!!!
2018 DD born 8/20/18
2019 5PGS frosties ( 4 remaining)
* September FET#3 (1PGS normal) - Beta#1: 139.7 Beta#2: 322.6
Update:
@funkykey at 8dpo I may be unpopular in this opinion but I also would start to lose hope. I am also familiar with the timing plight and the hatred of delay after delay after delay. It sucks. Like big time. And I totally think you have every right have a bad day over it. I’m hoping you have a little late implanter on your hands but I totally get it and I have been there.
Exactly. Thank you.
It's tough though, even with the BFN, even though I've been crying and losing hope, there's still that little thread. I hate it so much. I woke up this morning because of a hot flash - I was sweating and then suddenly I was freezing. I've been feeling pain in my side all day, like in the left side of my uterus. I'm exhausted. My breasts are sore. I've had way more discharge today than I did yesterday. So I think: "Maybe?!" Even with my stark white test! I'm starting to resent that little thread of hope, because it's what causes me to do things like spend another $40 on HPTs, to cancel flights at will, and to keep doing PIOs even though I'm pretty sure I'm out. Ugh.
I mean, I guess (technically) it's love-hate.
My H doesn't love spending so much on IF, whereas I'm more like: "Well, that's what it costs." I keep reminding him: "having a family is basically the only reason I have pursued a career." I definitely would not have finished grad school if I didn't want a family. I used to go to the library on Friday nights and think: "One day, I'm going to have kids, and this is going to be worth it."
@BusinessWife Please feel better soon. You were testing early.
@funkykey ive been silently cheering you on here (creepy, but true!) and have been so excited for you to finally get to this point. I will admit I would feel exactly the same if I was in your shoes, but! My coworker had a BFN the day of her beta, and ended up with a HCG of 24. The nurse told her it wasn’t a good number and would likely drop.....but next beta was 85! We transferred the same day, literally within an hour of each other and **TW** I had a solid BFP at 6dp5dt, yet we are both 38 weeks this Friday. **End TW**
So there definitely IS hope! Regardless of what happens I will be here, creepily lurking, and sending you all of the best vibes I can conjure up. You SO deserve this!!!
TTC#1 since November 2015
9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN
10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN
1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN
March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017
TTC #2 since July 2018
May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
Also- 38 weeks already?!?! Holy crow! Congratulations!!!
@artemis omg! That's so scary. My heart sank when I saw your first message. Don't apologize. That's what we're here for! Glad everything is ok. How are you feeling today?
@2MomsHoping 12 sounds like a lovely number! And now 6 fertilized! Glad it went well. Feel better!
@Irisheyes81 why do they have to mess with you like that?? Ugh! At least it all worked out in the end, you transferred and you are a happy PASP lady!
@funkykey you have every right to be upset and feel defeated, f*cking hpts are the worst. I feel like every woman TTC is at an amusement park, and us IF girls got stuck on the craziest, scariest roller coaster. The highs can be so awesome and those drops are traumatic. But please do not stop your PIO or do anything drastic until your beta. I know you still have some days to go, but hang tight, you never know.
@safire3 yay for an awesome 3rd beta. I'm jealous of everyone that got 2nd and 3rd betas, I have no idea where I'm at after my first.
@tinjp78 glad to hear you saw a new Doc!
@sunnyrain2 & @natehk happy PASP!
I'm obviously super late on the threads!
AFM: had my U/S and we have 1 little pea. Saw and heard the heartbeat! I was so relieved. So much so, that none of it hit me until like 5 hours later. Thank you guys for all your kind words and support. I truly hope that I have been able to be as supportive to you guys as you have been to me. Happy thanksgiving, I am truly grateful for your friendships
I know this has been a tough week for the board, and I just want to give everyone all the hugs. IF really sucks. It is a thief of joy and I hate it. And I hate that so many of us are still struggling, and may have to keep on trudging. A friend of mine from university turns out had her ER the same day as our transfer, and turns out she lost both her eggs. :( She is totally devastated, and my heart just breaks for her bc there's nothing I can do. It totally sucks.
But there is a glimmer of hope, whenever any of us succeeds, that is amazing and to be celebrated! Fx for more good news from @safire3 @artemis618. @Crystal321 and the other PAIF November ladies I feel like I'm missing!??!! Your victory can hopefully give us all a bit of, (at times,) much-needed courage. ❤❤❤
How are you ladies in the TWW feeling??
****TW**** babies, kids
<div class="Spoiler">We went to a family Thanksgiving dinner today where there was a new 4 month old baby, born the same month a year apart from our other cousin's baby.... so here are these two beautiful boys, a year apart, and these two incredible new moms. :s </div>
It's hard to feel So. Close. And yet so far away, not being able to say anything....
*typos / formatting
@natehk totally normal! I had cramps, twinges, weird pulling sensations during the tww and it started pretty early. I'll still get an occasional left ovary pain here and there.
Hope everyone survived thanksgiving. I know it's been a rough couple of weeks on here, hopefully there are better days ahead.
so question, what happens after November?? I don't want to leave this board!
@coco305 I don’t want the November board to end either! You guys have been such a huge support for me! Sounds like you had a nice thanksgiving and avoided all those sparkling water questions.
@businesswife I had similar thanksgiving struggles (I can’t make a spoiler box on my phone and so I’ll just avoid details). I forgot how brutal holidays can be. How are you feeling?? We are so close to beta day! I am feeling super hopeful. My husband worries about how hopeful I am. Buying a stocking for a 14 day old embryo is normal, right?
2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
May 2020 FET; BFN
July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
Oct 2020 BFP!
Take a look at my blog
<div class="QuoteAuthor"><a href="/profile/laurad75">laurad75</a> said:</div>
<div class="QuoteText">@coco305@irisheyes81 the July/August IVF board is still really active so I think we can definitely keep this one alive for as long as we’d like. :)</div>
</blockquote>
So much this! No reason the thread needs to close! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Well, sadly the bleeding got worse and continued for the last four days (and is still going). By Wednesday morning I knew it was over - I was going to try to get in earlier so I could at least stop my meds in case they were drawing it out, but it just didn’t work out. I was able to go in this morning and the Dr. (another RE) confirmed that there was no longer a sac. Not shocking at this point, but still *really* disappointing. I’m grateful to have the weekend to deal with this which I wouldn’t have had had I waited till my scheduled Tuesday AM appointment.
So feeling all the things I wrote before. We have a WTF call with our RE on Tuesday - we’re leaning toward doing one more retrieval (this would be the 5th, not counting my egg freezing) just because at my age (40) it really feels like now or never to make embryos (though we could end up with no normals like we did with our first OOP cycle). We’ll probably also inseminate the 9 eggs I have frozen from five years ago and PGS test whatever survives from that as well. We have 3 more PGS normal embryos from the same cycle as the one we transferred, and one more from our previous RE (who incidentally, I learned this morning, will be joining our current clinic in January...awkward? :P. Our new RE actually trained our previous one.). As I mentioned before, it feels so much like a numbers game with which we have really terrible luck.
I survived meeting my young cousin’s new 5 week old baby girl yesterday - who looks a lot like I suspect our angels would have looked (she and I look quite alike - we’re Chinese, but that’s not why :P and both of our husbands are pretty fair).
I’m sorry I haven’t been so active on here lately b/c of this. I’ll probably take a little bit of a break till I figure out exactly what we’re doing next. My RE just called me as I was writing this and let me know that the lab does close for the holidays, so 12/3 is their latest stim start date. I’ll see him for a scan on Tuesday AM so he can see what’s going on himself as far as what makes sense (mostly I just want to get my drugs this year since I’m at $0 copay for them at this point, but also impatience...). Know that I’m still lurking & following along, and hope the very best for all of you!
Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2
***TW***
As of 12/2016: AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10
Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for
IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B)
IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal)
IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal)
**New RE**
IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!)
FET #1 (medicated) of one PGS normal 4AA XX 11/2/17 - Beta #1 11/11/17 (153), Beta #2 11/13/17 (324), mc at 5w1d on 11/19/17
IVF #5 Dec 2017 - Insemination of 9 frozen eggs from 2012 (8F, 1B, 0 normal)
Jan 2018 - Natural cycle ERA (normal/receptive) & stimming for
IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts)
IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals)
FET #2 Apr 2018 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 4AA- XX 4/5/18 - Beta #1 4/14/18 (67), Beta #2 4/16/18 (231)
Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)
-----
TFAS!
FET #3 Dec 2019 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 3BB XY 12/16/19 - Beta #1 12/24/19 (139), Beta #2 12/27/19 (482)