You guys. Long one but here comes. My work bestie's last day at work was today (she's moving away/in with her long distance SO) and we all went out after work - I was pretty emotional as she is the best and basically the reason I survive work most of the time.
Anywho, I pull out of the parking lot of the bar to head home and call DH to let him know I'm on my way. We get about 15 seconds into the conversation and all I hear is "OH FUCK. OH FUCK!!! THE DOG JUST GOT SPRAYED BY A FUCKING SKUNK!!" Like, I can't even put into words my feeling at that moment. All I wanted to do in the world was curl up on the couch with DH and the dog and just watch TV when I got home. Instead I had to calm H down over the phone (who was basically so dramatic that he had essentially decided the house smelled so bad we should just move out right now lol), stop at Petco for skunk shampoo, stop at target for rubber gloves, and race the 30 mins home to help de-skunk my trembling pup.
3 full rounds of the skunk shampoo, then a run to the store for supplies for a better homemade remedy, another few rounds of that, and the dog smells almost normal. Mind you it's November in Massachusetts and pitch dark so we had to do this inside in our basement shower. It was a legit comedy horror show. One second H and I are yelling at each other and the next we are laughing hysterically. I officially quit today.
I don't recommend deskunking your dog at almost 5 months pregnant. AND I'M DEAD SOBER. WTAF.
@sparklingdiamond I’m sorry to hear you are stressing right now. When is your appointment? Will they be able to tell you for sure what is going on at this next visit?
@hedgepig just a return of the fears. I started thinking of writing down all the questions I have in case I need to ask them and that got me all scared again.
@JJMNO1616 it's on Tuesday at 11. Yes, I should for sure get an answer either way.
@sparklingdiamond thinking of you and hoping for great results and most importantly peace of mind next week. Hope you're able to find something calming/relaxing to do this weekend.
Porch update: my husband just left to drop off the check to the carpenter. It makes me nervous that he wanted to go alone and I'm PRAYING there's no confrontation. I'm not worried it'll get physical or anything, but it'll make things so freaking awkward between everyone.
@sparklingdiamond - I am sorry you still are waiting for answers. Waiting is the worst. I hope you have at least a few hours of pleasant distractions between now and Tuesday.
@kmalls - I know you don’t want to put your folks in the middle, but I would let them know. If they recommend him to others, they could end up with other friends/family mad at them.
So yeah, there was confrontation. The carpenter immediately laid into DH and told him he's "never been thrown off a job in 40 years" and he was more than fair to us. In fact, he should have charged us MORE! Give me a freaking break. Thankfulky this shit show is behind us and we have another carpenter coming this afternoon to finish the job.
@g_amoss I'm absolutely going to tell my parents what went down (without making them feel like they're in the middle) because you're right, my dad needs to stop recommending this guy to all his friends.
We're taking family pictures while in Hawaii for Thanksgiving. I'm looking at DS's summer stuff and it all looks very worn after a lot of wears. Anyone have recs for kids clothing stores that have summer stuff online year round? I'm mostly just finding plain tshirts.
@Puddlewonderful Janie & Jack usually has "resort wear" available online year round. They may also have some summer clothes from this past season on sale. They're not exactly cheap, but the clothes are super cute for pictures.
@Puddlewonderful if you have a Gymboree near you, a lot are going to be closed soon so they are clearing all leftovers clothes. At my store it's only summer stuff
I've got another random that has me feeling like an ass. My BIL and SIL are having a baby any day now - she was due 10/25. We bought a plane ticket to go visit for Veterans Day weekend thinking we'd be visiting a 1-2 week old baby. Well, obviously at this point she'll be max 5 days old if she were born today. I feel terrible because I'm guessing my SIL won't want us around that early, but we would lose $600 from the plane tickets if we don't go.
I'm looking at booking a hotel just in case at this point because I hate the idea of them not being comfortable having us in their house. It's their first baby so I just don't know how they'll be feeling. I want to help with meals and laundry etc. but also give them the space they need.
Any advice on how to make this the least stepping-in-it situation as possible?
@Puddlewonderful eesh, yeah, that's tough. And at this point you don't know how her delivery will go -- if she ends up with a c/s she may not even be out of the hospital when you get there. If you can afford to stay in a hotel, that would be my vote. I would have never been able to say, "um please don't stay here" as a new first time mom, but it would have been VERY stressful to have house guests during those first few days home. If you stay in a hotel, you can still do those awesomely helpful things you listed above, but then get out of their way when they need space. If they're like me and my husband, they will be so grateful for it.
Thanks @kmalls, that's where I'm leaning too. DH keeps saying they have a huge house and we can stay out of their way but it's his brother so I think he's thinking as a brother and not a considerate houseguest.
@Puddlewonderful I definitely agree that getting a hotel would be the best call. I would want at least some alone time with my husband and baby for the first few days/week. My best friend’s mom booked a flight out to visit her within two weeks after their babies due date (without really talking to her about it) and I remember she was stressed out about the thought of the baby coming late and her mom being there at the house. I personally told all my friends and family no visitors until mid May. However, I definitely think you should still go because I’m sure they will still appreciate having some help. Especially if they don’t have any other family nearby.
@Puddlewonderful I agree that getting a hotel is the best move. My DD was almost two weeks late, and my relatives ran into the same problem (visited when she was 3 days old). I was struggling with getting BFing down, and my daughter wanted to nurse every 2 minutes. Worst part was my sister brought her then 2 year old along. So horrible.
Haha @ngolimento we will have our two year old DS with us. So yeah, just booked a hotel! Spending an extra few hundred dollars to avoid wasting a few hundred dollars...sigh.
@puddlewonderful I think the hotel was a smart move! My bestie loves all the company even just after birth. I am so not like that. I didn't even want a meal sign up because I just couldn't people right away.
@kmalls I'm mad for you. Especially since SO is in the trades and most of our friends and local family. Noone we know would ever do something like that, charge for work they clearly didn't do etc. I'm glad you made the right call but totally agree that 700 isn't chump change and your DH had every right to confront him for what he did. Glad you are getting it finished but what an awful thing to be put through!
Oh great another mass shooting. You know what is starting to really stand out to me about these now? How much time, money, and effort we put into finding out why it happened. What's his background, what made him do this, etc.
Uh...why do we care anymore? We clearly didn't care about his motives before we loaded him down with assualt weapons. We clearly are going to do nothing about it after people died. So....why spend all this effort? The only conclusion I can come to is that these have turned into entertainment for Americans. That's all, just a fun little mystery novel! We are a disgusting country.
@ngolimento It makes me want to hide in my house and not leave. Like at the grocery store I'm thinking where would I go, what would I do if someone came here and tried to shoot up the store? How do I protect DS from this?
Oh great another mass shooting. You know what is starting to really stand out to me about these now? How much time, money, and effort we put into finding out why it happened. What's his background, what made him do this, etc.
Uh...why do we care anymore? We clearly didn't care about his motives before we loaded him down with assualt weapons. We clearly are going to do nothing about it after people died. So....why spend all this effort? The only conclusion I can come to is that these have turned into entertainment for Americans. That's all, just a fun little mystery novel! We are a disgusting country.
...but but, if we figure out WHY he did it, then we can shift the blame away from guns being so readily available! It's not a gun problem, it's a crazy people problem!! (1 billion percent sarcasm, btw).
And Trump has already blamed it on a "mental health problem" in the US. Give me a fucking break.
ETA: if he truly believes it's a mental health problem, STOP CUTTING FUNDING FOR MENTAL HEALTH.
@kmalls Well I do actually agree that there are a lot of mental health issues in the US. A sane person doesn't just pick up a gun and start killing people. But usually those types of people aren't the ones who will go get help anyways. I just feel strongly about this since my mom is an LPC. But obviously, gun control is a big issue as well.
Also, I think people just like to know why people did things. I certainly wanted to know why that guy decided to open fire in Vegas. I mean, it shouldn't be the main focus, but I think people are always searching for answers. That's just my 2 cents.
@sparklingdiamond people across the globe struggle with mental health. Its a universal issue, unfortunately. But only in the US is there such unfettered access to guns that those who have no business accessing them, can.
@kmalls Well I do actually agree that there are a lot of mental health issues in the US. A sane person doesn't just pick up a gun and start killing people. But usually those types of people aren't the ones who will go get help anyways. I just feel strongly about this since my mom is an LPC. But obviously, gun control is a big issue as well.
Also, I think people just like to know why people did things. I certainly wanted to know why that guy decided to open fire in Vegas. I mean, it shouldn't be the main focus, but I think people are always searching for answers. That's just my 2 cents.
I'm a licensed clinical social worker and I do outpatient adult psychotherapy. I agree that we have a major issue in the county when it comes to access to care but I seriously cringe when mental health gets brought up after these shootings. The truth is most people who suffer from mental illness are more likely to be victims of violence then the perpetrators. I have been seeing patients for 7 years now and I can count on one hand how many people I have seen who have endorsed any type of homicidal ideation. Being "sane" or "insane" in a clinical sense is a very specific diagnosis and yes... sane people actually DO pick up guns and start killing people. I agree that they are disturbed and there is something seriously pathological going on but @sparklingdiamond you are right that a lot of those people won't reach out for help... it's a sad situation all around.
@kmalls Well I do actually agree that there are a lot of mental health issues in the US. A sane person doesn't just pick up a gun and start killing people. But usually those types of people aren't the ones who will go get help anyways. I just feel strongly about this since my mom is an LPC. But obviously, gun control is a big issue as well.
Also, I think people just like to know why people did things. I certainly wanted to know why that guy decided to open fire in Vegas. I mean, it shouldn't be the main focus, but I think people are always searching for answers. That's just my 2 cents.
I'm a licensed clinical social worker and I do outpatient adult psychotherapy. I agree that we have a major issue in the county when it comes to access to care but I seriously cringe when mental health gets brought up after these shootings. The truth is most people who suffer from mental illness are more likely to be victims of violence then the perpetrators. I have been seeing patients for 7 years now and I can count on one hand how many people I have seen who have endorsed any type of homicidal ideation. Being "sane" or "insane" in a clinical sense is a very specific diagnosis and yes... sane people actually DO pick up guns and start killing people. I agree that they are disturbed and there is something seriously pathological going on but @sparklingdiamond you are right that a lot of those people won't reach out for help... it's a sad situation all around.
Such a powerful point @JJMNO1616 and one that our country's legislatures seem to refuse to address. I absolutely mental health as playing a role, but its clearly bigger than that.
Our legislatures don't seem to agree... "This is a mental health issue in the US!!! What, you want us to pay for people to get help..?? Are you crazy? OMG, now you expect us to restrict access to guns since we won't address mental health?? You ARE CRAZY."
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014! DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Re: Weekly Randoms- 10/30
Anywho, I pull out of the parking lot of the bar to head home and call DH to let him know I'm on my way. We get about 15 seconds into the conversation and all I hear is "OH FUCK. OH FUCK!!! THE DOG JUST GOT SPRAYED BY A FUCKING SKUNK!!" Like, I can't even put into words my feeling at that moment. All I wanted to do in the world was curl up on the couch with DH and the dog and just watch TV when I got home. Instead I had to calm H down over the phone (who was basically so dramatic that he had essentially decided the house smelled so bad we should just move out right now lol), stop at Petco for skunk shampoo, stop at target for rubber gloves, and race the 30 mins home to help de-skunk my trembling pup.
3 full rounds of the skunk shampoo, then a run to the store for supplies for a better homemade remedy, another few rounds of that, and the dog smells almost normal. Mind you it's November in Massachusetts and pitch dark so we had to do this inside in our basement shower. It was a legit comedy horror show. One second H and I are yelling at each other and the next we are laughing hysterically. I officially quit today.
I don't recommend deskunking your dog at almost 5 months pregnant. AND I'M DEAD SOBER. WTAF.
Married: 10/3/15
TTC: May 2017
BFP: 7/20/17
EDD: 3/29/18
Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013
Started TTC August 2016
BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17
BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17
BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18
BFP: 2/27/20
@JJMNO1616 it's on Tuesday at 11. Yes, I should for sure get an answer either way.
Married: 10/3/15
TTC: May 2017
BFP: 7/20/17
EDD: 3/29/18
@kmalls - I know you don’t want to put your folks in the middle, but I would let them know. If they recommend him to others, they could end up with other friends/family mad at them.
@g_amoss I'm absolutely going to tell my parents what went down (without making them feel like they're in the middle) because you're right, my dad needs to stop recommending this guy to all his friends.
ETA: check out Nordstrom as well.
I'm looking at booking a hotel just in case at this point because I hate the idea of them not being comfortable having us in their house. It's their first baby so I just don't know how they'll be feeling. I want to help with meals and laundry etc. but also give them the space they need.
Any advice on how to make this the least stepping-in-it situation as possible?
Uh...why do we care anymore? We clearly didn't care about his motives before we loaded him down with assualt weapons. We clearly are going to do nothing about it after people died. So....why spend all this effort? The only conclusion I can come to is that these have turned into entertainment for Americans. That's all, just a fun little mystery novel! We are a disgusting country.
And Trump has already blamed it on a "mental health problem" in the US. Give me a fucking break.
ETA: if he truly believes it's a mental health problem, STOP CUTTING FUNDING FOR MENTAL HEALTH.
Also, I think people just like to know why people did things. I certainly wanted to know why that guy decided to open fire in Vegas. I mean, it shouldn't be the main focus, but I think people are always searching for answers. That's just my 2 cents.
Our legislatures don't seem to agree... "This is a mental health issue in the US!!! What, you want us to pay for people to get help..?? Are you crazy? OMG, now you expect us to restrict access to guns since we won't address mental health?? You ARE CRAZY."
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016